I think your answer is perfect!

How about "Thank you for asking, it's just a quiet day for me".

I don't think you need to explain your reasons for not celebrating Christmas. I think a simple response would be "I am Jewish ". It is a simple, honest response that most people would understand.

I agree with roxsol: your answer is perfect. If the person wants to know *why* you don't celebrate Christmas, you could then offer an explanation.

During her Senate confirmation hearing, US Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan, when asked what she did for Christmas, replied “Like all Jews, I was probably at a Chinese restaurant.”

I think answering you're Jewish is fine, but the problem I see is that it may indeed make the other person feel stupid for asking or wish they hadn't asked at all, especially if it's said in "a way" (not that you would say it snarky, but I'm sure others might and do). Why make somebody feel uncomfortable or regret trying to just be polite.

If it's somebody you know better, like a co-worker or neighbor or something, that's different, but if it's just a very casual acquaintance or someone striking up a polite conversation in the grocery line, just answer with a non-answer and don't make them feel foolish for asking.

ETA: "I asked him why she didn't explain, he would say, "They are wishing me 'well.' Why should I decline that?"

Exactly.

As long as everyone is just wishing you "happiness"....I just go with the flow. I like that!

I would hope that you would answer that you're Jewish, so that I could then express I hope you had a wonderful Hanukkah. When I was working, I had this same scenario occur and the woman who told me she was Jewish ... well, we were able to sit down and chat, and she told me about some of her traditions. This was 50 years ago, but she was the first Jewish person I'd met in my little town, and so we had a great discussion. She was open to my questions, and asked me about my traditions at Christmas.

My situation is a bit different. I'm Jewish and my husband is Catholic. I celebrate Christmas

with him.

However, when appropriate, I never miss an opportunity to say I’m Jewish, albeit non practicing.

I agree with pudg’s relative response if someone says Merry Christmas or Happy Easter.

Your question is when they ask if they ask if you have plans. “I don’t, I’m Jewish!” Being Jewish isn’t the same as sharing sad memories or losses.

Mxk3, friends would know TV’s religion while other aquaintences might not. Not understanding why anyone would feel stupid hearing a religion as the answer.

Side story: I worked with a Jehovah Witness. They don’t celebrate Christmas or birthdays.

Nice to have that information.

I don't always know who is Jewish, like the friendly acquaintances you mentioned. Just saying you're Jewish should be enough of an explanation. Everyone knows Jews don't celebrate Christmas so saying you're Jewish is the reason you don't celebrate Christmas.

I hear many people say ”well, it isn’t my holiday so we will (watch a movie/play cards/get started on taxes)”. And my response to most people who wish me Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays is ”and Happy New Year to you!” Covers all the bases.

I have Jewish inlaws and friends who always celebrated Christmas, in a secular way with dinner and gifts.

I agree that no explanation is needed, but only saying, ”I don’t celebrate Christmas,” does feel a little abrupt. I guess it’s all in the tone of voice and facial expression how the sentiment would be received.

I don't decorate for xmas and I only have 2 gifts to buy. I don't have the storage space for xmas stuff. But I celebrate in small ways. I watch the old xmas cartoons and sing carols.

Christmas is just another day to you so can answer honestly and tell them what your plans are for December 25, if you have any.

Nothing planned.

Doing laundry.

Watching a movie.

Preparing for Boxing Day.

You could say "Going out for Chinese food" and see if they get it.

I tend to just say it isn't my holiday. It's a popular holiday, but it's not a holiday that's necesarily for everyone.

I’d say I’m Jewish. Just saying ”I don’t celebrate” can lead to unneccesary questions, even if they’re not asked.

One could say "Food, family, friends" Holiday or not, those are appropriate ways to live every day.

Expecting an explanation from someone declining an invitation is an error but not a lethal one. I think your refusal is perfect but I would add thank you for asking me. There are so many reasons a person might not celebrate a holiday. I actually knew a woman who lost a son to suicide on Christmas. Discussions of someone's religious beliefs is just not necessary but in a world where so many people seem to have been raised by wolves it is hard to get away with just a simple refusal.

I think it's very thoughtful of you to ask this question. I think your response is perfect.

I didn't do an actual count but I'm certain I know more people of Christian ancestry who don't view Christmas as having any religious or spiritual meaning to them, than do I know non-Christian people. And I know plenty of non-Christian people.

I say merry Christmas if you celebrate Christmas and happy holidays if you don't.

Many people just say Merry Christmas back. Or happy holidays. I get both replies back.

I try to be aware of other people's lives and how truly different our lives can be from one another.

Still it's wonderful to celebrate. Even if it's a different times for different reasons.

I wish I'd known about other religions as a child, when it would have been accepted as natural. I was at least twelve when I asked my mother why there weren't any Jewish people in our town (Chicago suburb; Pop. 6800 at the time.). "Oh, but there are. You know several Jews," she said, and named the nice couple who ran the shoe store; proprietors of the best restaurant in town; and one of my classmates since kindergarten.

How could I have been so stupid? Was it discrimination? Why did the family of a new girl in my class not stay long in the beautiful house they'd built near mine? When I saw the original deed to our house, built 1938, it included a clause (illegal) prohibiting sale to non-Christians and Blacks. I'd never seen a synagogue.

Wouldn't it have been better for me to have heard a forthright reply, "I don't celebrate Christmas. I'm Jewish." Too brave for the era? It seems to me that failing to say so encourages and perpetuates a fearful nonsense of some mystic 'otherness' -- the mindless hate rearing up again today.

It is wonderful to celebrate if you want to and okay if you don’t. You don’t owe anyone a reason.

Some of the best dang Christmas holiday songs were written and recorded by Jewish people.

I’m not Christian but I do love a good party.

Elmer, while I would say the same as you did, I’m not clear on your point. Most non-religious Christians I know celebrate Christmas in one form or another, just not in a religious way.

food, I think the hope and expectation that "others" would respect one's private religious views are exactly the same as respecting someone's private absence of religious views. In that context, asking about someone's plans for what for some (but not most) is a religious holiday strikes me as impolite and needlessly intrusive. For obvious reasons (including the presence of a very large non-practicing Christian as well as non-Christian populations in my area), many people may have no plans at all. As others have mentioned. Why make someone needlessly feel uncomfortable?

Awkward situations are easy to avoid. This one isn't new, it happens every year.

If I am in an actual conversation with a person (not just a passing greeting to someone like a store clerk), I usually ask if they celebrate Christmas before I wish them a Merry one. If they don't choose to tell me why, I would never ask. For a passing greeting, if someone wishes me Happy Holidays, I say the same. If they say Merry Christmas, I say the same. To a clerk I might ask if they get Christmas off and if they do, I might say, "Enjoy your day off." I don't celebrate a religious holiday, but a secular one with all the trappings of that, friends, family, holiday meals, Santa, tree, gifts, etc.

Olychick, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and let them take it from there. Most wish me the same, some smile, some go into a long winded explanation about their plans or non-plans and some tell me sad stories. My intentions are good and I’ve had some of the most interesting conversations.

And that would be why I just say Happy Holidays to people. I don't know everybody's background. I think the last time I said Merry Christmas to somebody at work, and they said Happy Hanukkah to me I felt insulted (she meant it that way. She basically was saying how dare you assume anything about me, her glare gave me that idea). And I realized they were insulted by what I'd said, so I took it as a chance to grow. Unless I absolutely know somebody is observant or a christian, I do not say Merry Christmas. I would say it all day long in church. I will say Merry Christmas in reply to somebody who has said it to me. But I never offer Merry Christmas unless they're a dear friend, and I know that they observe Christmas.

I do like the suggestion made upthread, "I don't observe Christmas. Thank you for asking though." That would be explanation enough for me, and very non-confrontational. I vote for that answer!

I’m a non-observant Jew, and celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah in secular ways, revolving around food, family, friends and a small amount of festive decor. Our family traditions usually involve cooking latkes for Christmas Eve dinner, brunch (could be bagels and lox some years- this year its featherbed eggs with bacon and cheddar) with my (Jewish) sisters, and Christmas dinner with our dearest friends. If someone says “Merry Christmas “ to me, I’m not offended- they are wishing me well. Usually I use the phrase “Happy Holidays” this time of year. If that’s offensive to anyone, oh well.

I would just prefer to hear, "I'm Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas". I'd then just wish them a Happy Hanukkah and a Great New Year.

I have asked people in the past if they celebrated Christmas, if they were a new neighbor or acquaintance (single, couple or family) and I was going to invite them to our home with us if they had no one here to celebrate it with.

One year we even had a friend who was a recently divorced rabbi and her son here for Christmas. They've since moved up near San Francisco or they would still be welcome.

“If someone says “Merry Christmas “ to me, I’m not offended- they are wishing me well.“

Exactly, they are wishing you well. I’d like people to wish me a Happy Hanukkah, Happy Diwali, Eid Mubarak and so on when they are being celebrated.

I celebrate the solstice and wish everyone peace and joy in the coming year.

I’d like to celebrate all of the holidays :-)

Many years ago when my DD was in primary school, I was asked in to assist her class with making little Christmas gifts to give their mothers. Now, one thing you should know is that where I live, there is only a tiny Jewish population in the main city and none at all in our town. Anyway, one student, who was Australian Aboriginal, said to me, ”Miss, when should I give this to my Mum? We don’t celebrate Christmas.”

I nearly replied, ”Why not? You don’t look Jewish…” but stopped at ”Why not?” just because it’s pretty unusual here to not celebrate Christmas, even if in a secular style (actually, mostly in a secular style). He replied, ”We’re Jehovah’s Witnesses.”

I think so much depends on the situation. I was just at a luncheon and the topic came up... do you have any plans for the holidays... someone explained how they're just going to be at home as their usual holiday plans fell through...another one who is Jewish said they'd already celebrated at Hanukkah...another was taking off to celebrate overseas...another talked about the meal planning and prep for her large family...no one was uncomfortable. I think it would be more problematic if one lives an area where one is apt to be judged for not being what *they* consider *required*.

I am noticing that while many realize that Jews might not celebrate Christmas how about Muslims? They do not celebrate our holidays either. Or of course all the Buddhists or all the other eastern religions. We truly are obtuse. Merry what ever.

I just know that many businesses close, so when I say happy holidays I just mean that they don't have to work. Is that wrong? I agree I'm using the term very loosely, in so many different directions... I just want everyone happy

rob, I celebrate Christmas in a secular way. I love Christmas and always have. Christmas trees, Christmas presents, Christmas songs. Celebrating Christmas and saying ”Merry Christmas” is part of my identity. I don’t want to lose that. I would never ask anyone to do that to theirs. It would be disrespectful.

As for making everyone happy, it is not going to happen. Merry Christmas and all the best to you and yours.

eta I went to school with a pretty even mix of Jewish kids, Indigenous kids (some Christian, some not) and the rest (including a bunch of American kids who had parents in the oil industry that I think some were Mormon) They were all my friends and we respected one another even though we had different identities.

My husband went to school with kids from Ukrainian roots. They celebrated Christmas on both December 25 and again on January 6/7. My husband wishes people Merry Christmas in December and…..I don’t know how to spell it….but it translates to ”Christ is born ” in January. He’s not religious but he says it to wish people well. There is no reason for anybody to be offended. The OP didn’t say she was offended by being wished a Merry Christmas.

You wish me well in your way and I wish you well in my way. No harm done.☮️

I think that most of what Christmas is has very little to do with Christianity and much more to do with its pagan roots of celebrating the winter solstice, which is more or less a weather event and therefore affects everyone, regardless of their beliefs - one cannot deny that the days are shortest in December. The lack of sunlight can cause depression for people living in northern latitudes, and the solstice celebrations are helpful to them at this time of year.

I think it is unfortunate that Christians (in the distant past) have tried to usurp an important pagan holiday, but it is a bit difficult to undo that at this point. Hanukkah, by comparison, has never been anything but a religious holiday AFAIK.

I pretty much never say "Merry Christmas" to anyone because I think it is presumptuous, but I did say it to my pool guy when I gave him an end-of-the-year bonus. These bonuses are often called Christmas bonuses, but perhaps that is not the best name for them.

No one I know celebrates Christmas in a religious way, and no one I know celebrates Hanukkah in a religious way. Therefore, this is somewhat of a non-issue for me.

We have Kwanzaa decorations

but one of our nieces told us that this is cultural appropriation and offensive (to her, at least), but if so, then the store should not have sold them to us. Our African-American friends are not offended by this, however. We never light the candles.

Hanukkah, by comparison, has never been anything but a religious holiday AFAIK.

Yes. True. But not a happy one or even a major one. It's the remembrance of the Greek slaughter of the Jews. And....children now "do" get wrapped gifts so they fit in with their peers getting gifts. It used to be more of a friends and family gathering. The commercial side has taken over.

I purchased several things....during ALL the sales events. Including cat food. Christmas has a pratical side to it as well. I LOVE all the Christmas display lights and hoopla. 🎅

"You wish me well in your way and I wish you well in my way. No harm done.☮️"

Absolutely! In this day and age, it's the sentiment of wishing another well that is so much more important regardless of how it's said. When so many are wishing death and evil to befall others or treating others as "less thans", calling people vermin, promoting hate, I'll happily take wishing good tidings and merriment any day!

" Hanukkah, by comparison, has never been anything but a religious holiday AFAIK. "

Sure -- many people just celebrate it with gifts and games, without really acknowledging the religious reason (it's the celebration of a war victory). On the other hand, many people do still light the candles with prayers and make it a much more low-key event.

I used to always reply, "Same to you," which I thought was perfectly fine, until my husband told me it was rude. I'm still not sure why. Now I say "Right back atcha," which I guess sounds friendlier.

I don't think that's rude - just rather curt. I often say 'And the same to you.' or 'Wishing you the same.'

I most often say 'Hope you have a lovely holiday.' 🙂

Except in obvious situations with someone not known to you (as when speaking to someone whose appearance or speech suggest an obvious recent Asian background), I don't think any offense would be taken when offering the secular greeting of one's choice. Saying a "holy" or "blessed" Christmas crosses the line for me.

And, as someone mentioned above, a stranger saying this

" I usually ask if they celebrate Christmas before I wish them a Merry one. "

is rude and inappropriate. I would reply with something like "whether I do or don't, that's a matter that is private for me that you don't need to know". Others may say something similarly snappy or might otherwise be offended by such an out of line personal question from a stranger.

Edit to add - I think most understand that polite conversation with people not well known, and sometimes also with people well known, avoids the big three - religion, politics, and socks.

Sitting here stuffed with Christmas breakfast I reread this thread and remember you Rob all those years ago posting about your experience with an offended Jewish woman at work and your thoughtful approach to what to do henceforth. I didn't make the connection when I read it the first time.

So in the same spirit Peace and Joy on this day regardless.

As TV said and I will restate- Hanukkah is a celebration of the victory with Judah Maccabbee. Jews were being forbidden from practicing the religion and prevailed. The miracle of the one night's portion of oil lasting 8 mights- the concept of spreading light.

However, yes, it is a celebration, but a very minor one not at all on the level of most other holidays people are familar with. It is NOT in the bible. It happened AFTER the bible.

As members of the tribe frequently share with many holidays---, ithey tried to kill us, we won, let's celebrate and EAT.

It is NOT in the bible. It happened AFTER the bible.

Yes, it's not in the Tanakh (what Christians call the Old Testament, although the books are in a different order.) It's in the Apocrypha, in the Book of Maccabees, which is in all Catholic bibles, and a few other versions. The Apocryphal books were in the original King James version, but were eventually removed - too Popish. This has been your pedantic biblical moment of the day. ;-)

“Religion, politics, and socks”! Love it!

We ”know” each other enough that I can, however, share my brother’s favorite gift for any occasion: