Thanks so much, Iowa_Jade. I miss my work and my gardens like crazy, but you and others here have kept my spirits up with your kindness. Your shrine is going to be stunning (I was going to say "divine", but I don't want to do that to anyone this early in the morning). Alana, thank you and I'm glad you found it. We're on Facebook as Humpty Dumpty House Foundation. There's another Humpty Dumpty Foundation (no House), but they're in Australia and have a zillion likes. You can't miss ours -- it's all about gardens and garden design. Rocksnroses mentioned posting a request for likes, but I noticed that most fb pages already have an option on the upper left to "Invite your friends to like this page". It's missing on the Humpty Dumpty House Foundation page, and I'm hoping someone here knows how to fix that? I've scoured Facebook for an answer. Apparently others on fb have the same problem, but nobody has found a solution. I've been told people can also invite their friends by clicking the "share" icon near the top, but that's not self-evident. If anyone knows a solution, please let me know. Also, I'm posting a link to our Facebook below. Here is a link that might be useful: Facebook Page for Humpty Dumpty House

Heather, I had an experience that was so real. I wanted to share it with you in hopes that it will help you with your loss. I know how hard it is to be here without your mother. My pain is great too but I was comforted by God. Here's what happened: I loved my mother so much. I was an only daughter so she was my mom, my sister, and my best friend. One day she was in the hospital, she had emphysema and I knew that she did not have much longer to live. I remember standing in the shower and saying prayers for her to get well. I live 400 miles away from her and could not be at her side. At the very moment that my prayer ended I received a reply. The response came to me first from my heart and then to my head. It said, "Why all the prayers if you do not go see the person?" At that moment I had greater wisdom then so many in my position. I ran from the shower dripping in a towel and hugged my husband in tears. I told him I have to go, my mom is sick. I have to spend as much time with her as I can. He said go. Be with your mom. I quit my job so I could spend as much time as possible with her. From that point forward I had four wonderful years with her helping to ease her pain and fear before she passed. And my story does not end there.... My mother did finally pass and of course I was devastated and beyond grief. I cried a solid two years. My heart would not heal. At night I would dream of her. She would be sick and I would be there praying for her to make it though it but she didn't and when I awoke, I knew the dream was for real. I had a very, very hard time moving on. I could not stop crying. Hardly for a moment. My face was raw from the salt of my tears. And then again one night I was having another nightmare dream about her. I remember sobbing in the dream. But this time a young man in a suit came a placed his hand on my shoulder. At that moment I felt safe and I just knew that he was an angel. I knew it was okay to go with him and I did. We began to walk and he spoke to me. I will never forget his words, "You have no idea how fortunate you are. You are going to have the opportunity to sit down and meet with God. So many people would love to have this chance that you are going to get. God wants to speak to you about your Mother. You are suppose to share this with others and he knows that you will." Then we reached a room and he said, "This is not how it is, we have created this for your benefit. God will come in and he will look like an ordinary man." In this room was a big desk with a chair in front of it. I felt like I was in a job interview. I sat in the chair and I waited for a moment. A tall dark haired man came into the room. I could not tell you all his features just that he was wearing a very nice suit and tie and he had big loving eyes. He knew my name reached across the desk to shake my hand and said, "Hello Nicole. How are you?" I must have squeaked a hello and a okay. Then I saw his big brown eyes. These eyes gave me a feeling of intense love. They seemed to look into my heart and shoot safe and soothing feelings at me. And he said this to me.... "Nicole, I want you to know your Mom is okay. She's not alone. She's with me and she's happy. It's okay, she's not alone." He seemed to know that a huge part of my grief was that I was separated from her and I didn't want her to be alone without the family. I knew that was a big part of my grief. He kept stressing that she was with him and not alone. Then he said, "She's happy, she's not sick anymore and she can breathe." I was sobbing at this point just sitting in that chair. I could hardly look at him. Then he asked, "Would you like to see her one more time?" "Oh, yes, please, yes, yes, yes!" was my answer. "Okay, we're going to set that up for you." and he called the angel back into the room. He told the angel, "We're going to go ahead and set it up for her to see her mom. Go ahead and take her to the room for her to see her." I was brought to a big room. It was lowly lit with chairs all the way around the room like a reception room at a doctor's office. There was a door across the room and through that door came my mom! She didn't look sick anymore. She looked like she did back in the 1970's. She was so pretty. She ran over to the chair next to mine and hugged and kissed me. I could smell her hair. I hugged her neck and kissed that favorite spot on her temple. I loved her so much. I told her that over and over. She told me she loved me too. The she spoke sharply to me, "Stop worrying about me. I'm okay. I'm not alone. You have a whole life ahead of you and a wonderful husband. Go back and be a good wife to him. Be happy again!" She was kind of mad at me. All I could say was that I knew she was right. Then she said she had to go back and I have to go back. I said okay. She got up and went back through her door and as she did, I turned and went back through my door. As soon as I passed though my door. I could see my body sleeping in the bed. I sped like a bullet to it and as soon as I hit my body I woke up. Then I went back to sleep and the whole dream came back to me the next morning. I hope this will help others with their grief. I have more to share if you think it might help. I don't know why I was chosen for this, I am an ordinary woman and not so perfect and good. I have sins too. But I do seem to have a special connection and I know that I am blessed. Respectfully submitted, Nicole

My Dad died in 1987 at the age of 60. The next day I found out I was pregnant with Amanda. My Mom died in my arms and I tried cpr til the ambulance came 13 years ago this August. I can honestly say, I thought I was going to lose my mind. The pain was so debilitating at times. I got on the computer and played solitaire and other mindless games. Mindless, mind numbing, so I didn't have to think. I had good days and bad days. I thought the guilt was going to eat me alive. I couldn't sleep for months because I DID relive that night repeatedly in my dreams. There's nothing, nothing anyone can say. Nothing takes the ache, the void away. Only time. And time only eases it so that when you do think of her the pain doesn't floor you. God bless you, God help you deal with your grief. I'm very sorry for your loss.

After losing what I did last year and pets before that and on and on my mind was much, couldn't concentrate and put one foot in front of the other and would be driving and not a clue except out of habit could drive it. I agree do not do anything no matter what for a full year, find counselling, grieving and talk it out and let it out and don't worry about what others tell you, I had ones that said suck it up. live life and that is how it goes. And no crying and you don't want your dad back old and sick as he was and on and on it was all the time. Then the wills are unreal and you find out so much and trying to find out things and your mind can't remember and can't concentrate and you can't do anything. I was forced to move and to this day my living room is full of bins and boxes, just can't do it I find. No energy, no zip, this is not my home and on and on it goes. Your life totally changes many of us, we find out things we wish we didn't or experience either. Hold off as long as you can if you can as I know many can't and financially must be force to sell and do things but if possible, don't rush into anything and wait until you can finally concentrate and your mind isn't mush and you can figure things out more. Get a lawyer too if you can afford one, well worth it and make sure all is legal and you don't do something crazy while later you go what I did what? Surround yourself if you have good friends around them and be with them and don't be afraid to talk things out and talk those painful things you are hurting so bad and then good memories and everything. Don't let anyone tell you to stop grieving and don't be afraid to cry, to sob loud and long, to scream it out and to be so angry, its all normal to feelings. And be careful to not let others know you are now alone, don't do obits in papers as you will have people come out of the wood work after you and if you inherit, have good money, you would be surprised who will come at you and want to take it from you. Vent, whatever to get it out and even years from now, the pain can be just as strong the missing of them and wanting them there with you. Don't feel bad if you talk to them as that is normal too. I will find myself looking for our beloved pets gone and call out for my buddy's name. I will find myself turning around to chat with my dad or ask him something and find he's not there. Go your own way, don't follow what others tell you as we are all so different when we lose loved ones, pets and humans alike. And some of us grieve so deeply and others never or lightly and that is it. kathy