hello I can understand your situation. My dad died in 2005 suddenly and very unexpectedly. My mom and he were married 39 years. He was only 68 and now my mom is a wreck. She moved out of her apt. because she couldnt afford it with my dads income cut. Then she moved in with me and my husband and 2 kids. It was disasterous. I love her very dearly but we just clash. She is now living with her older sister. She has bad anxiety. She is depressed but wont admit it and she is convinced she is sick. The doc put her on meds but I dont think she takes them. Anyway it seems she quit living life and she doesnt even want to help herself and it makes hard on everyone around her. She drives but she wont work or join social activities. She is only 65 but is acting like a 4 yr old who needs looking after. I dont know if something triggers this behavior when someone is thrown a bad apple in life. Like your sister, one day, they had normal lifes and the next day everything was gone and I guess its very hard to try and start over. I worry very much about my mom. I think she has no will to live anymore. I quess we just have to be there for them and try and help when we can. I wont go out of my way anymore and I told my mom she needs to start living again. They are the only ones who can help themselves. I dont know if this helps you or not but I just wanted to let you know that you and your sister are not alone. Alot of people are put in life changing situations and you just have to make the best of it. ZGOod luck and God Bless

my partner and i had not been together long when he lost two nephews at very young ages (19 & 20) several months apart. i can remember him going through all of the stages of grief and being a very private person, he pulled away from me a little. i just let him have his space but made sure he knew i would be right by his side and willing to listen if/when he felt like talking. he never really did, it just took a lot of time before he could come to some sort of acceptance. i can remember many nights following these deaths when we simply sat quietly on the couch with the t.v. on, not really watching anything, just holding hands. i think touch is very important...lots of hugs and lots of hand holding if your partner is so inclined. you are really doing exactly what you need to be doing until such time as your partner feels like talking. just don't feel "left out" or ignored if it doesn't happen, it doesn't mean you aren't appreciated! speaking from the other side of the coin, i lost my husband 3 years ago after a long battle with cancer. i pulled away from the people who tried to help me grieve. truly, no one could possibly say anything that would help me come to terms with my loss. my grief was crushing, at times it still is. i have talked to gary's family members occasionally and we have traded "gary stories" and that has helped but if your partner is anything like me (very much a loner), the best thing you can do is what you are doing right now. i'm sorry for this loss and for your partner's grief. i hope things will get better. just know it takes a lot of time and patience on your part. :)

I spoke with a lawyer this week, sorry for not updating sooner but it's been a rough time for me lately... Anyway, I can't remember which poster said he/she had a 'gut feeling' that there is no legal provision for self defence in animals, but that seems to be the most simplified explanation of the situation. Yes, the family member is an adult. He is actually my father. I'm 19 years old and trust me it's surely been a difficult time for me. My dad has changed his 'story' a few times since the bite happened, and it's hard to get anything straightened out. It's turning into a division in the family which is just compounded the already painful situation. Honestly I dont think there is anything that can be done for Lucky. The day after the bite, the officer who came to the house (my mom had to sign ownership of Lucky over to her) called our home and she explained that we would be receiving a call from the Department of Health to explain why Lucky has to be put down. When the representative from the D. of H. called I didn't speak to her, but apparently she essentially explained that the laws in our county are strict regarding second dog bites, and it is mandated that a dog who causes 2 "severe injuries" (the second bite didnt even require stitches so I wouldnt think it would be considered severe but I of course am a layperson) must be put down. I'm trying really hard to move forward and try not to dwell on this. Lucky was techincally my younger sister's dog and she is having a very hard time, understandably so. She is a junior in high school, and all of this occured during final exams week for her. Hopefully my family will have learned *something* from this awful series of events... maybe that some animals just aren't meant to be the pets we want them to be.. other than that I'm not really sure what 'good' can come of this. I guess I'm just glad that he didn't harm anyone more severly than he did. 99% of the time he was an affectionate and adorable dog, and it's just that 1% that proved impossible to extinguish. Fortunately I just obtained a summer job for my hiatus from college, so hopefully that will help me to keep my mind off all of this. It's the only coping strategy Ive come up with.

My Dad died in 1987 at the age of 60. The next day I found out I was pregnant with Amanda. My Mom died in my arms and I tried cpr til the ambulance came 13 years ago this August. I can honestly say, I thought I was going to lose my mind. The pain was so debilitating at times. I got on the computer and played solitaire and other mindless games. Mindless, mind numbing, so I didn't have to think. I had good days and bad days. I thought the guilt was going to eat me alive. I couldn't sleep for months because I DID relive that night repeatedly in my dreams. There's nothing, nothing anyone can say. Nothing takes the ache, the void away. Only time. And time only eases it so that when you do think of her the pain doesn't floor you. God bless you, God help you deal with your grief. I'm very sorry for your loss.