hello I can understand your situation. My dad died in 2005 suddenly and very unexpectedly. My mom and he were married 39 years. He was only 68 and now my mom is a wreck. She moved out of her apt. because she couldnt afford it with my dads income cut. Then she moved in with me and my husband and 2 kids. It was disasterous. I love her very dearly but we just clash. She is now living with her older sister. She has bad anxiety. She is depressed but wont admit it and she is convinced she is sick. The doc put her on meds but I dont think she takes them. Anyway it seems she quit living life and she doesnt even want to help herself and it makes hard on everyone around her. She drives but she wont work or join social activities. She is only 65 but is acting like a 4 yr old who needs looking after. I dont know if something triggers this behavior when someone is thrown a bad apple in life. Like your sister, one day, they had normal lifes and the next day everything was gone and I guess its very hard to try and start over. I worry very much about my mom. I think she has no will to live anymore. I quess we just have to be there for them and try and help when we can. I wont go out of my way anymore and I told my mom she needs to start living again. They are the only ones who can help themselves. I dont know if this helps you or not but I just wanted to let you know that you and your sister are not alone. Alot of people are put in life changing situations and you just have to make the best of it. ZGOod luck and God Bless

Thanks for sharing your story, Crissy. I know it is so hard watching people we love leave us. Yes, it will probably get harder before it gets easier. I find that the longer the time goes by, the more I miss my mom and Chris. It's just natural. Remembering where they are now, makes it better, though. Life is good, but as we all know, there are many bumps in the road of life. If we live a good life, then we go to a much better place forever. As much as I miss my mom and Chris, if God would tell me that I could have them back for another 20 years, I would tell Him to keep them and I will see them later. I love them that much. I want them in a better place even though it would certainly be nice for me to have them back here. Try to live with the good memories and know that you will someday be with your dad again. Live on for him and make him proud. That is what he would want for you. Lu

Jan, I have often thought when one has been through hard times for many years with someone, the grief of how we would like things to be starts way back then. It's pieces of grief over and over again, so when that person passes, perhaps we've already done alot of grieving of losses we might have had with them. Relief is probably to be expected, too. I love your idea of a list of good memories you remember with her. Susan, I am thinking of your family today. We are also having dinner with our DIL & Son who lost their baby...hold each other close & time will heal the fresh sadness. Liz

I spoke with a lawyer this week, sorry for not updating sooner but it's been a rough time for me lately... Anyway, I can't remember which poster said he/she had a 'gut feeling' that there is no legal provision for self defence in animals, but that seems to be the most simplified explanation of the situation. Yes, the family member is an adult. He is actually my father. I'm 19 years old and trust me it's surely been a difficult time for me. My dad has changed his 'story' a few times since the bite happened, and it's hard to get anything straightened out. It's turning into a division in the family which is just compounded the already painful situation. Honestly I dont think there is anything that can be done for Lucky. The day after the bite, the officer who came to the house (my mom had to sign ownership of Lucky over to her) called our home and she explained that we would be receiving a call from the Department of Health to explain why Lucky has to be put down. When the representative from the D. of H. called I didn't speak to her, but apparently she essentially explained that the laws in our county are strict regarding second dog bites, and it is mandated that a dog who causes 2 "severe injuries" (the second bite didnt even require stitches so I wouldnt think it would be considered severe but I of course am a layperson) must be put down. I'm trying really hard to move forward and try not to dwell on this. Lucky was techincally my younger sister's dog and she is having a very hard time, understandably so. She is a junior in high school, and all of this occured during final exams week for her. Hopefully my family will have learned *something* from this awful series of events... maybe that some animals just aren't meant to be the pets we want them to be.. other than that I'm not really sure what 'good' can come of this. I guess I'm just glad that he didn't harm anyone more severly than he did. 99% of the time he was an affectionate and adorable dog, and it's just that 1% that proved impossible to extinguish. Fortunately I just obtained a summer job for my hiatus from college, so hopefully that will help me to keep my mind off all of this. It's the only coping strategy Ive come up with.