Great Gary Thx , Exactly, I just saw u r in zone 10 " hello !!>..OK, My sister has one excellent strap leaved Vanda growing outside on a tree , I believe it is Robert's Delight excellent vanda anyway, she also has 2 gorgeous catts next to them. She is in Delray which is a bit different then me and my temps. She has morning sun and afternoon shade . She has a good breeze here and there lives off the water. She also has another epyphite which survived this cold well the Stag horn which I love and also have. I also believe ( her Phals were left outside as well> However, I bring mine in and they don't get these conditions as they are all on this extremely hot porch morning strong sun and good afternoon sun facing south, open windows and Iam placing them with fans as soon as it gets hot..But I believe I learned a lesson "costly> but I think it was the drop of extremity that shocked the plant. One, I did not mention Oncididium (poor thing> Got forgotten outside in a cabinet as I moved furniture around that day and forgot it was placed inside it( for a bit ahh) I found it after 2 nites of extreme cold in the fourties with windy conditions.But it was sheltered from wind so it did much better then the Vanda. This oncidium turned yellow some leaves a bit as well and I nursed it back and talked to it telling it "Oh I'm sorry how could I have left u in that position all alone out there ? lol" It is coming back gradually and was brought in the last few nites.( looking happier I might add ) They are like our children only they don't talk back lol. In all respect I would buy the Mikasa again as I adore the flowers. I can't except loss I'm a nurturing kinda gal. Most of what I want to grow are plants that give a challenge as I mentioned Ming areala /stag horn.Vandas and phals and onciduiums, bonsai (trying Mings ). Thank you so much guys , what a nice group of people you are God Bless ..Have a great week..J'aaime P.S. maybe they do talk back when they wilt/turn yellow/drop leaves/look great/bloom they do ..hihi

Diane - I am so sorry for what you are going through. I'm there, too, just a few months ahead of you. I understand that emptiness. I've heard people say that it feels like half of you is gone - well, for me it felt much more than half. I felt like most of me was gone and I felt like I was dead inside. The message my son passed along to my boss was that I didn't know when I would be back to work. I was on that roller coaster of emotion: a few minutes of talking with a friend - almost normally - then suddenly breaking down, sobbing like a baby. I went back after 3 weeks (I'm very fortunate that I work for a person who is very understanding). My husband died last September just 12 days before his birthday. Having also lost my Dad in September years before it's no wonder I think I'll dislike that month forever. BUT - here is the part you need to hear: Yes, you get up and go to work and simply do what you have to do. At first it's monumental and as time goes by it becomes easier. When friends want you to come for dinner you go and after a while you find you can contribute; but friends - true friends - understand and they just want to do for you. It's ok to be a taker for a while because those friends know it will just be a matter of time before you are able to give again. Some days I still feel like a heavy weight is on me and it's hard to lift my foot to take a step. That's the grief depression and it comes and goes - but it always seems to be just under the surface. I know you must be tired of hearing people say that in time it gets easier. I'm not sure if it gets easier because of time or if it's just that we get used to the new life we've been shoved into. Either way, I don't cry as much now and I still hurt but it's in a different way. Maybe a sadder way but not as sharp if that makes any sense. I still miss him but when you have a connection and a love and a life like Bob and I did I think that the missing him will go on for the rest of my days. I started therapy a few months ago and that has been helpful. I also started on a drug for my depression. My doctor and I talked and I told her that in the 5th month I felt I was going backwards - grieving more again, crying more. So I wanted something that was very mild just to take the edge off and allow me to be more calm. I made it clear I didn't want something to knock me out or make me numb because I knew I needed to keep doing what they call "grief work". (Who comes up with these names?). Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble on but I thought if I shared with you where I am now it might help you to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Is my life like I want it? Absolutely not. But I can laugh with my friends again and I can play with my grandson (9 months old!) and have fun with him and I can spend time with my family and talk about things other than my pain. One of my biggest realizations was when I once commented about something I'd do when life got back to normal; that was the first time I really realized that I would have a new kind of normal and it might resemble the old normal but would never, ever be the same. So I'm working on my new normal and you will, too, in time. Just don't rush it - let it come to you. And it will. God bless you and I hope you are able to work your way through this scary and lonely time in your life.

Came over here to see what's going on and saw my old post. It has been seven months since my DSIL passed away. I'm still talking to my brother at least a couple of times a day. His grandson just left last night from spending the weekend with him and he said it was rough seeing him go. The last week or so has been really rough on him and neither of us really has a clue as to why. I'm hoping when spring gets here and he can get out more things will look a little brighter for him On a totally diferent note, the strangest thing happened a couple of months ago. A car pulled up in his driveway and he went to the door. There stood a couple that my brother knows, but not well. They ran a local florist and my SIL knew them a lot better than my brother did. Anyway, they were on their way home directly from the man having been in the hospital. When he opened the door the man was crying. He told him, "I know you're gonna think this is crazy but I absolutely could not go home without stopping to see you. I promised that I would. While I was in the hospital I coded and they had to bring me back. During that time I saw (my brother's wife) and she told me, "You're gonna be okay and you're going to get to go home. Please, when you see (my brother's name) give him a big hug from me and please tell him how much I love him and always will!" My brother said that he and his wife were both just sobbing. Now, whether or not he actually saw my SIL, or not, is not important. As my brother and I said, the fact that this man felt so strongly about what he needed to do was a message from her. My brother was, of course, both saddened and comforted by what the man did. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you going through the loss of loved ones - may you find comfort in your memories.

I agree, your boyfriend broke up for reasons other than his daughter. He's a coward to blame her. When my husband and I started seeing eachother we both had teenagers. The teenagers came first, for both of us. I would cancel plans I had with him if something came up with my children and I think that's the way it should be. They were here first and I'm their mom, they should be my priority. But there's a fine line between that and having a life of your own. We wouldn't have let any of our kids come between us to the point of ruining our relationship. Your boyfriend does not feel as strongly about the relationship as you do. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you should move on and you'll find someone even better the next time. Take care and I wish you all the best.