Having hard time naming new pup - maybe bc still mourning loss of dog
Back on May 20th, my little boy, Sam, passed away in my arms on the way to the Vet ER. It was very traumatic for me. Sam would have been 13 yrs old on July 30th - he had just had his senior blood draw just a few weeks earlier - and vet commented on how great everything was.
The only issue he had (besides some cataract development) was a collapsing trachea. His dad had a collapsing trachea his entire life (not bad - but started noticing it at a fairly young age). Sam had started having some episodes a few months ago - vet said that they were not bad and gave me something (don’t know why I am blanking right now) to help try to keep trachea stronger.
At around 8:30 p.m. on May 20th, he started panting - which was odd. He never really pants. I thought it was because he thought I was going to leave (I actually was, but then decided not to go). Sam did have some separation anxiety - due to health issues, I was home with him almost every day.
I started having the overhelming feeling of dread that something was going to happen. My youngest daughter was home with me - and didn’t understand why I was so worried. She told me that he was probably just a little hot - but for some reason, I just had a feeling that something was wrong (I even texted my sisters + other daughter and told them that I had this unewsy feeling that Sam was going to die - which they all thought was odd). He didn’t seem like his beathing was ”labored” - and he actually started to pant less when I held him while on sofa. He had the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen in a dog - and would always look me in the eye - and not look away. He kept looking in my eyes that night - not with a panicked look - just staring into my eyes.
About a half hour later, I decided to check his gums - and they were not pink. I immediately yelled for my daughter to grab car keys so we coukd take him to ER.
I had Sam’s mom and dad - and was there when he was born— and I was holding him in my arms (like a baby - he liked to have me hold him that way) - while he was still looking in my eyes - when he passed away.
I was devastated - so was his ”sister” Ella (a mix maltese/bichon/yorkie).
I never thought that I would have another puppy this soon. However, my friend had an adorable yorkie that she had bought from an excellent (and responsible) professional breeder - and she called to let me know that the breeder was getting ready to retire after two final litters due in July. I told her it was too soon. However, after watching how depressed Ella was (and she’s the happiest dog I’ve ever met), I started thinking about it. I finally went and saw the pups, and one of them immediately ran up to me. He was super sweet - not the most outgoing out of the pups, but not the least.
So, I decided I wanted him.
He is ADORABLE. He was born on July 2nd - and he’s been an angel. He has picked up housebreaking much faster than any pup I’ve ever had! He whines to let me know he wants to go outside. He can sit/lay dow/shake. I actually am waiting for something to go wrong because he has been almost perfect.
He also does some things that really remind me of Sam.
I really struggled to name him. I had him for three days, and hadn’t decided on a name.
My fiance really wanted a golden retriever (if we decided to get another dog in the future). I didn’t think that I would decide to get a new pup - until I actually met him. My fiance has been great - even thought I failed to discuss it with him. He used to sometimes call Sam by his middle name - Baxter. So, we talked about it, and decided that it would be nice to name him after Sam - so, we started calling him Baxter about 1 1/2 weeks ago.
HOWEVER, now I’m not sure that was a good idea. Sometimes when my fiance calls him, Sam flashes through my mind for a second. When I call him Baxster - or when my daughter does, I’m fine. It actually warms my heart.
BUT - now I’m not sure. Sam was my very FAVORITE dog ever. I’ve had to deal w some serious health issues - and Sam was with me through all of it. I miss him a ton.
I am starting to really have feelings for this little pup - and I think I’m feeling ”guilty” because of it?
I probably sound like a whack job.
I’m not sure what to do.
Comments (12)
dani_m08
4 months agoI like Edward - and using Eddy/Eddie for short! My daughter suggested Simon - but ?
Ella does seem better While she hasn’t completely ”warmed” up to him - she does want to play fetch again - which she hasn’t been doing since Sam has been gone - and she ABSOLUTELY loves playing fetch.
She doesn’t want to lay next to him yet - but she definitely has become more interested in him - and what he’s doing. When I introduced Ella into the family, Sam absolutely wanted NOTHING to do with her! If she was on the bed, he would jump off and sleep undeneath the bed instead. They are almost exactly the same age difference between them - Ella will be 7 yrs old in 3 months - and Sam was just 4 months shy of turning 7 when I brought Ella and her brother home to foster (I hadn’t planned on keeping either of the pups - but my mom had unexpectedly passed away, and Ella was the only one who could actually make me laugh - so so, I kept her and adopted out her brother to my daughter’s friend).
This is how Ella has been sleeping during the day since Sam has been gone - this was Sam’s spot (and his pillow). She now has started hanging out on her little doggie sofa again.
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Sherry
4 months agodani_m08
4 months agodani_m08
4 months agolast modified: 4 months agoc t - weird - I can’t tag you for some odd reason! Max was his name - but we had a ”Max” - he was a great carin terrier who passed away a few years ago - so, there was no way that we could keep it. I actually thought about how if I had decided to take his brother Hank home with us instead, I might have just kept that name!
We actually got Max from a family who had a two year old who wound up developing terrible allergies to him. He was about 4 1/2 months when we took him home - and his original name was ”Bob” - I just wasn’t sure that I wanted to be out in the yard calling
”Bob” - so, we decided to change his name to Max. We called him “Max Bob” for awhile, and then just dropped the ”Bob” part after a couple weeks. It was a pretty easy process actually,
My daughter was kind of pressuring me to decide on a name - which is why I went ahead with Baxster after a couple days. Later I remebered how one of my nephews was nameless for the first two days after he was born - I’m not sure why - but I do know that the nurses were all giving my sister a pretty difficult time about it.
I‘ve always been able to name a new dog right away - but I think the heartache from losing Sam was still so fresh that it just has made this more difficult. He truly is an adorable little pup!
His new favorite place to sleep is on my pillow - this is from this morning:
I was EXHAUSTED this morning! I watched my 9 month old grandson and Baxster all day yesterday - last couple weeks have been easier because Baxster wasn’t into ”exploring” nearly as much as he is now + my grandson just started crawling. He has nad ZERO interest in crawling - wants to stand and walk around the coffee table. His mom was the same way - my daughter didn’t crawl until 9 months, and then was walking at 10 months. The two of them definitely wore nana out! 🥹dani_m08
yesterdaydani_m08
yesterdayJust a quick update -
While I miss Sam a ton - the name “Baxter“ no longer reminds me of him.
Baxter has a unique personality - and is definitely his own little man! It appears that he is going to stay pretty small (smaller than I expected - his mom is 6.5 lbs) - today he turned 7 months old - and he’s only 2.6 lbs. However, he has a BIG personality - and is extremely lovable!
Pic from about a month ago (6 months):
Photos from a two days ago:
He really needs a haircut but I haven’t been feeling well - so, he looks a bit of a mess - especially after just coming back inside after playing w his big sister (who has FINALLY warmed up to him).
He is kind of an ”odd” pup - but in a cute way! Very smart - and was extremely easy to house train. He started using a bell to go outside when he wasn’t even three months old. I had just started to introduce the bell by shaking it a little when I said ”Let’s go outside” as I opened the door - and about three days later, he began ringing it on his own. He didn’t learn it from Ella - she’s never used a bell (she just lets me know when she needs to go out). I was a bit shocked when I was in the other room and heard it ring.
However, he tends to “overuse” the bell - especially when its nice outside (it’s 52 degrees and sunny today so quite a few trips outside) - he LOVES being outside. A few weeks ago he started ringing the bell when he wants to “steal“ something that Ella has (like a turkey tendon or a trachea - he likes them better after she’s already been chewing on them!)
Ella will drop whatever she’s chewing on and follow him outside (she also loves being outdoors) - and then he will make a quick u-turn back into the house - and grab whatever she’s dropped. When Ella comes back inside, she is very confused about her tendon/trachea/etc. mysteriously disappearing.
Anyway - I truly appreciate all the advice/support/comments from everyone. I was way more worried about it than I needed to be. I just wasn’t emotionally ready for a new pup - but I am extremely happy that I decided to go ahead and bring him home with me!
Thanks again,
Dani
Alexa Cole