There's nothing sibling rivalry about her bahavior. The resentment, embarrassment, and other feelings described here concerning a much, much younger sibling is nonsense, justified as normal or legitimate because they had no one to tell them their feelings were wrong. People think and feel all kinds of things, but just because it's the way one feels doesn't make it right, hence there is murder and much other wrongful doing in the world. If they had someone to set them straight, the subjects would never have entered into your thread as anything of concern or consideration. Given any opportunity, I think your SD will abuse the baby - smack him, pinch him, or anything she can do to make him cry, if not *accidentally* drop him - because she lives in a very dark place mentally and emotionally, and she wants the whole world to be as angry, sad, and unhappy as she is. For him to think it nothing more than sibling rivalry is turning a blind eye. He needs an intervention to make him realize and understand the damage he's doing his daughter, and therefore his marriage and his son. You might talk to a health care professional and tell them the same as you've told us (and everything you haven't told us). Then, ask them to help you talk to your husband. I know you don't want to leave, but I'm truly impressed you are seriously considering it as more than just threatening in order to get your way. I don't know how the women who threaten end up feeling when they don't get their way and don't leave either. You can't keep being walked on like this, but he isn't going to listen to you. He isn't going to do any more than he has been doing no matter how much you threaten. It might take you leaving to get his attention, and then you can demand he go with you to talk to the professional. You might demand it before leaving but if he refuses, then you have to walk out the door, realizing it is likely forever and no amount of tears and begging you to come back can change your mind unless he changes his. If you don't leave, then please don't leave the baby with him when you go back to work. He has a cautious mother to protect him right now. Who will protect him when you're gone? His father never will believe there is any danger or concern.

Hair spray actually used to be dangerous. The propellant used was vinyl chloride. It was hardest on barbers and hairdressers since they were around it all the time. The danger was a significantly increased risk of liver cancer. I think the show I watched was called the Chemical Revolution. There was also something in maybe the hair dye?? that caused a surprisingly high rate of bladder cancer in hairdressers. (Obviously this is not a commonly occurring cancer.) Here is a link that might be useful: PBS link about Hair Spray Propellant

I do spray that guck on new shoots and canes (basal breaks) which I am excited about, and buds also if I notice them. We always cage newly planted roses, until they get big enough so that some grazing will not kill them. We are lucky - we live 4 blocks from downtown, and as my DH says, by the time the deer get to our garden, they are just on dessert. Only 1/3rd of an acre, and by a busy street in the middle of lots of houses. The deer walk down the sidewalks and cross at the corners - really! We have 150+ roses, and I do not mind some nibbling, especially since they are either full or lazy, and only munch at deer height - hardly anything below or above. That's why I have always planted lots of climbers! This year about 6 weeks ago, a doe gave birth to twins in our garden (parts of it are sort of wild and overgrown). One morning I woke up to see the below out of my bedroom window. I grabbed my camera - the below pics were taken through our 110 year old wiggly Victorian window glass, so pls forgive the bad quality. She spotted me in the window (see the second pic) took umbrage at me staring at her kids, and took them away, and I haven't seen that trio since. There has been some nibbling at night, but no sightings. I must admit that, although I would never feed them deliberately, they are welcome to some food and shelter and water in my garden now when we are in the 5th year of a horrible drought. Jackie

You say that you sense the smell mostly in the air. Is it possible that this particular area is just an area where other household odors accumulate? We have two such areas in our house, where odors will collect and linger- one is in a central area in the entryway, the other is in a bathroom that is in a back corner. One of those I can see having limited air circulation, but the first seems like odors would move through quickly, yet they don't and odors from other parts of the house will essentially leave those parts of the house and collect in these. I was just wondering if it was possible that the smell is coming from elsewhere (say a nearby bathroom or laundry room?) and is hanging there? What happens if you put a small fan in that area later in the day? Would the smell still be in that area with the fan on or off? The other thing that comes to my mind is bed linens- particularly any down or feather product. I've had issues on occasion with these getting funny/smelly odors that come and go, and it's very hard to pinpoint the issue, even when smelling the comforter or pillow directly. It's only by removing the item from the area/house for a little while, that we were able to pinpoint exactly what it was. I've noticed this problem more when the humidity is higher and it was worse later in the day when temperatures in the house had increased, and like I said, it smells fine some of the time and then other times there is a weird funk. I hope you can find the source. It sounds very annoying.