"Sweating the small stuff" Petty complaint of the day
4 years ago
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Can my downstairs neighbor sue me for walking?
Comments (49)if anyone ever has any sitch similar, you need to move- as soon as you possibly can. I realize it seems unfair, and it is. But when you’re the tenant upstairs, you bear the brunt of the blame. I know, I’ve been that upstairs neighbor and I’ve been through he** bc of it too. It’s been a fluid situation but it all started with a bad downstairs tenant. It just got worse and worse, even though I don’t believe I deserved any of it. The courts somewhat agreed with me too. I’m talking about different counties even. Seriously, with the first bad tenant situation, uhh on a legal website the lawyers didn’t even believe my story. But it’s the truth. I got citations- as in tickets- for getting up too early in the morning. It was 645 am. I didn’t even shower when I woke up. I wasn’t being loud. I had a bad neighbor. Thats bad enough by itself. But again, it got worse. Almost 2 years later I ended up getting “assaulted “ bc a bad property manager unlawfully gave a copy of my key to someone she shouldn’t have bc she got mad at me. During a pandemic lockdown, She morphed criminal. She’ll pay for that for a very long time. I hope for the rest of her life. What happened to me is bad. But when ppl twist off, sometimes innocent ppl pay. I’m still paying. Please, try to make the best of your situation and if you can’t make the best of it, find somewhere you can move and have some peace. At a time like this, it’s of utmost importance. Cut your neighbor some slack. No need to complain about EVERYTHING. There’s literally noise everywhere. Sometimes you just need to deal with it. Good luck all....See MoreA very important quote for all you parents out there please share
Comments (15)What your MIL says is very true. Another thing I read somewhere is that MOM must carve out some time just for Mom, because babies will demand all your time not knowing you need some for yourself. And this is the hardest part, MAKING some time for yourself, a 30 minute walk by yourself twice a week, or one afternoon/month that is yours - not to get groceries by yourself! - but to get that hair trim, shop for that elusive new bra or new denims. Even to take a bath while hubby keeps the kids from clawing at the bathroom door to get in with you (because a bath isn't relaxing while THAT is going on!). I myself am guilty for concentrating on the things I thought mattered most (home cooked meals from scratch that took time), laundry kept up, house vacuumed and dusted, then one day I looked down at my 18 month old who was pestering me to play with him while i was performing one of these 'important' aspects to being a stay at home mom, and the thought occurred to me that he'd be happier if I'd gone back to work, because his day's would be filled with playtime with other kids, instead of following a working house mom around the house and being put off all the time, and I figured since I quit the job to benefit HIM, then I had better start making this stay-at-home thing about HIM, and not about how clean and organized I could keep the home. We didn't live in a pigsty, but it felt like I was always behind on something, if the place was vacuumed, then the bathrooms needed attention, then when I got to the bathrooms, now the laundry needed to be done etc etc (the late Richard Carlson wrote about that in one of his 'don't sweat the small stuff' books), remarkably, we could use the 'messy' bathroom safely, had enough clothes that laundry could pile up, and no asthmatic sufferers in the house so a bit of dust wasn't a health problem. But my 18 month old would only be that age for such a short time, I had to grab what I could while he was there. I have done that, and never regretted it, and look at all the extra housework I got out of doing! Keep smiling Stacie, you've got a good handle on what's important, stick with what your gut is telling you. kioni...See Moreventing..
Comments (9)What state do you live in? Our attorney (in CA) told us that once SD was actually living here primarily for a period of time (even if the custody order says 50/50) it would be easier to go to court and ask that the 'actual' arrangement be made the order instead of what is 'on paper'. When BM moved away, our attorney suggested we leave the written order at 50/50 and pay the child support, even though we had SD. Then, after SD was settled in school here and had lived here for a few months, we could take it back to court to get the order changed to reflect the true situation. Once a child is settled into a stable environment/situation, the courts are reluctant to uproot the child just because the paper says the other parent has custody. In our case, we got LUCKY. I told DH that he should ask BM to put their agreement in writing and he said she would never sign it. I drafted it anyways and the first weekend she came to our house, he asked her if she would sign it. She didn't bat an eyelash and signed it. To be honest, I was in shock but happy she didn't throw it back in his face and refuse to sign. He submitted it to the court and it became their new order. Fortunately, he has that order because within a year, she was trying to change things... well, she started trying to change times from the first weekend. But, when he put his foot down and said she has to go by their agreement, then she tried to claim she signed under duress, she was tricked, it was fraudulent, blah blah blah.... In your situation, it may be more difficult if she lives nearby because it is possible for her to come pick up the kids and resume being custodial parent and make it difficult for dad to see kids. Have you spoken with a family law attorney in your state? Do you know what the law says regarding your situation? I think it's worth looking into. If you can document the kids live with you, either with school and/or doctor records, etc. then it may be harder for her to convince the court that dad should not be given physical custody... after all, he already has physical custody IRL, just not on paper....See Morebeing petty
Comments (30)Almost nobody has the problems with bio-mom that we do, so my situation isn't comprable to most others. But it reminded me of a story. We don't let ANYTHING go to mom's house (before she lost all but public visitation). If the kids sneak something to her house, we warn them, they are likely to lose it. This is the story behind that decision. As I've said before my husband's ex struggles with psychosis and bipolar disease. In 2006 they were still allowed on rare occasions to spend the night with her after my husband would meet with her and assess her stability. So they took a couple books and a bookbag each of clothes to her house for a Xmas visit, and some homework she wanted to 'play mommy' and help her with. The visit went fine, but the kids were so busy bringing gifts home, they left their school books and clothes at her house. A couple of days after Xmas, bio-mom fell into psychosis, and we didn't hear from her again for 6 months. Unfortunately it was the end of the school year and my husband wanted the school books back ($80 a piece), and maybe some of the clothes. He arranged with bio-mom's brother to go to his ex's house and get the stuff with brother as a witness. When she is in psychosis she pretty much just hides in her apartment and talks to herself and lives on diet coke and cigarettes. Her brother apparently paid the rent and utilities out of her disability check, for a couple months, and then stopped, and my husband knew she was about 4 months away from being evicted (which would coincide with her being Baker Acted, and all her stuff would end up in the dumpster). So he and her brother went over to her house and he found her on the couch talking to herself surrounded by waist high piles of coke cans, cigarette boxes and fast food bags around her. THe kids stuff was in a pile at the other end of the room and he picked through it as quickly as he could; as soon as she saw him she started screaming at him. He wanted to move fast because he thought she might attack, she has before, but she was content to sit on the couch and scream. He got the school books and bookbags, but the clothes were horrible. They were damp and moldy. There were Xmas presents and cards addressed to the kids from her side of the family still in wrapping paper. If she ever gets overnights again, you can bet we will carefully control what goes to her house and what comes back. (She eventually was baker acted in September and sent to the hospital. Her hair hadn't been washed for so long, the staff had to cut most of it off.) As for the original poster's complaint: I think a lot of this sort of thing, whether it is petty or fits the circumstances, is dependent on the kids' perceptions. If they see no reason why they can't wear their shoes to Dad's house, then mom's cutting off her nose to spite her face. If it makes sense to them, it's not petty. Did the child want her shoes at your house? If so, roll your eyes and wait until she's a teen. She'll handle these problems for you. ;)...See More- 4 years agolast modified: 4 years ago
- 4 years ago
- 4 years ago
- 4 years agolast modified: 4 years ago
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