I'm with you...I don't like surprises. Don't like them for me nor do I like being in on surprising someone else. Some may view it as exciting, but it's not my cup of tea.

Sorry, I shouldn’t have posted such a whiny thing, but houzz wouldn’t let me delete it. :p

yes, orchidrain — it’s more stressful than exciting!

Annie D, I think that’s a little different because you both knew you were going ’somewhere’ together on that day. Without unexpected people. :)

I agree with you Party. I hate to be totally surprised by something. i think because I love the anticipation of a fun experience. maybe also a bit of anxiety and also maybe i have a little dose of being a control freak. Haha! On the othe hand if I know I am going “somewhere” and doing “something” (like Annie’s surprises) then i enjoy that very much.

I am tired of unpleasant surprises these days, like new covid variants.

The occasional nice, planned surprise seems lovely. Annie's outings with her mother sound perfect. I can see where party's sister's constant surprises seem more like being controlling than being fun. She may not intend it that way at all, just people like to know about big events so they can be at their best.

I do not like surprises except maybe a small gift.

I arranged a surprise party for my mother’s 80th birthday. My BIL spilled the beans and ruined the surprise, which turned out to be a good thing. Once she knew about the party she added a few names to the guest list and upgraded the menu. That party was a huge success!

Another time a friend’s SIL gave my friend and her husband a surprise anniversary party. She told my friend they were going to a fancy restaurant in the city but instead we all were hiding in the rec room. My friend nearly died of shock and looked like she wanted to kill somebody the entire evening.

My nephew in law surprised my niece with a new car. She hated it. Hated the style, the color, everything. She also loved her old car which was perfectly fine. Never surprise people with a big purchase. Half the fun of something new is picking out exactly what you want.

I’m a planner, so not a big fan of surprises. Not that the thought isn’t appreciated, I just like to be prepared.

I don't mind them. The only person that tries to surprise us is oldest DD. If it's a surprise for DH I work along with it and it goes through. But....DH always seems to have to involve me because he can't complete what is she asking him to do without my help.

Once, youngest DD surprised me by coming home early for my birthday. DH managed to keep that one under wraps.

I like being surprised with small gifts for Christmas.

Once DD’s fiance surprised me by making my favorite cocktail, a Lemon Drop.

I have never been surprised with a party. Not sure I would like that.

It certainly depends on the surprise. I wouldn't mind a surprise gift, but would hate last moment announcements that we were going to some big event! That does seem controlling and self centered, IMO.

I guess it depends on the person being surprised, tho. Some folks enjoy that, and others don't, of course.

For me, it depends on the level of surprise. If my DH came home and said he made reservations at a restaurant that would surprise me. Seriously. And I'd be happy as a clam! But if he invited 5 other couples to join us there and it happened to be my birthday, I would not be happy.

When I owned the hair salon, I made a day for seniors and charged them half price. We learned all about the town's history and what it was like years ago, chatting together for years on the one day of the week I REALLY enjoyed. My staff loved them too so, one day, I was told by two older women that they never had seen surrounding towns nor been to Boston. Aha, I told them all that we would all go together, once a month, on a surprise visit to places, they were so thrilled. I had the best time with them. We went to Burger King first as one had never even seen the place. They had the Crown hats for the public so we all got one. Then I took them to Boston to see the crown exhibit at the museum of fine arts plus most of the rest of the museum, we ate there too. In the years going forward, I kept that up for 16 years until most of the had passed. That was the most fun for them and me.

Yayagal, you are the best.

The size of the surprise is indeed key. A surpise car is absolutely a no-no unless it is a tiny part of the budget amd I can change it out without issue, like a matchbox car. Otherwise, it's an I gotcha, not a surprise. A friend of mine's husband pulled that when they were first married, yuk.

How heartwarming, Yaya! You are a kind soul.

Wow, I feel a little like I've gone to therapy -- zalco and carolb, I think you nailed it when you referred to my sister's surprises as being "controlling" behavior. It fits so perfectly! She definitely uses a "my way or the highway" philosophy in everything she does.