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The late Nora Ephron on happiness in middle age

l pinkmountain
6 months ago

Saw this meme on FB this week. According to Nora Ephron, these are the keys to happiness in middle age:

Gather friends and feed them, laugh in the face of calamity, and cut out all the things––people, jobs, body parts––that no longer serve you.


I think I might be more happy if I could do more of these. I used to live in a more communal situation where I ate with co-workers and often had folks over for dinner, or attended luncheons, etc. Almost nil at this point. No one wants to do these kinds of things in my social circle. Most live too far away. I get together once and a while with far flung friends, but almost nothing locally. Church is my one social outlet, but at 62, I am one of the youngest members . . .


Hubs is very negative and does not share my sense of humor. I try to watch as many good comedy stuff as I can but the pickings are old and slim. Again, miss my more jokey friends that I can laugh with.


I am trying to cut out the problematic things in my life, I'm still smack dab in the middle of Swedish Death Cleaning. But this is made extremely difficult by my father's insistence that I hold on to many of the things in this house that just don't work! This was an age old problem for me and for my mother, my father was in the junk business, not throwing stuff out was ingrained in his blood. I throw some of his things out, but the pace has to be slow so he doesn't completely wig out. I have to hear how it is still good and I don't appreciate him or the things. Of course it is bs but I still have to listen to it. I try to spend as little time in his negative mindset space as possible, but I'm his sole caretaker. (Imagine that!) I try to find other folks to help, sometimes they manage to stay for a while. He has finally burned out his caretaker of 4 years, which is sad mostly for me. She was a saint.


This is also exacerbated by my being an environmentalist and the waste of throwing out things that don't work for me still bothers me. So I try to fix things, adapt them, or find someone who wants the things, which is tedious.


As for casting aside people, I'm not sure that we can just throw everyone away . . . we're left kind of lonely. At least for me, the extrovert. I have nice colleagues, but few close friends, which bums me out.


How are you doing on this list?

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