4kids, are you suggesting that based upon this very unusual experience, there was some takeaway lesson you learned? I can't imagine.

My comment was intentionally exaggerated and outlandish. This conversation treads on some of the same ridiculous ground as the other one talking about people who want to be neighborhood vigilantes. I think one should always assume there are many, many facts and facets about people in our lives, whether family, co-workers, neighbors, or whatever, that we will each never ever know about. Nor should we aspire to learn or probe in a nosey way to learn about. Most are none of our business. Some surprising, some boring, some shocking, some irrelevant. Yawn.

"Yawn." Yet here you are, lol.

Annie D wrote:

I bought a pretty pink and white azalea plant to give them.

“Pink is the navy blue of India.” — Diana Vreeland

I like your note, Annie, and it is kind and generous of you to get thm the azalea.

“I cannot imagine sending a note to anyone saying basically "I'm too busy for you but good luck finding a friend". Far better to send nothing!”

That was exactly my reaction too. As the saying goes, that adds insult to injury.

Oh, for heaven's sake, elmer. Calling someone out when they've insulted a group of people (who actually like each other and get along very well), for participating in a thread and "yawning" at them, is not stalking. It's pointing out the hypocrisy of insulting all of us for participating, then participating yourself. If you find it so tiresome, why not just stop posting. Why must you hurl insults in every thread?

The plant is a much better idea than food. I wouldn't eat food from a stranger. When we were first married we lived in an apartment in an old Victorian house and the Jewish landlady who was quite ancient would send very strange food down to us which we promptly fed to our pet rabbit. She probably meant well but it was awful looking.

Olychick, he's probably participating because he can't help but dump all over me. It seems to be one of his favorite past times. He has accused me of stalking him as well. In fact, it's just that I point it out when I strongly disagree with something, and more often than not, we disagree. If I share facts off the internet, then I'm doing blind monkey searches and know nothing about what I'm posting and I'm reprimanded for not using personal experience. If I post about personal experience, then I'm too stupid to understand what actually happened as, if my experience is not in his ken, I *must* be wrong. I think I'll call it the elmer-22.

Annie and Olychick, when my grandmother went into a nursing home, we were given a pamphlet about how aging can affect personality and to expect different personalities of the folks who lived there. One section was about ”aggressive personality” and how some folks, especially older ones, fear losing control of a situation so they tend to be generally disagreeable and ultimately end up lashing out at others. They accuse others of things that aren’t happening.

I don’t think they know they are doing it. Kindness helps.

eta Of course, this is only one of many possibilities why an individual needs to argue and lash out.🙂

Annie, please let us know how it goes. There are way too many people on this thread to leave us hanging. I suspect a Psychology class at a local university is already using this for analysis.

Give us some reality here. The azaleas are a perfect “hello” gift.

RedRyder, I will be sure to fill you in. Here are the azaleas...

Annie, murderous neighbors probably seem like a walk in the park tto you at this point 😁

You’re a kind person who is always concerned with doing the right thing in any situation. The azalea is a lovely gift and you and Mr. Annie are going to be the perfect ambassadors for your town!

Annie is a kind person and makes KT a lovely place to visit.🤠

You guys are so sweet! Thank you!

I remember the first time I did a real life meeting with a bunch of people I'd met on another internet forum. It was literally the best party I'd ever been too....what a great and interesting bunch of people. While I was there, I mentioned to a few folks there that I was glad I'd driven in case they turned out to be serial killers, I could make a fast escape. One looked at me and said, "Now that's a career opportunity I haven't pursued." Another said, "I'm in a 12-step program for that now." They really cracked me up! I was so amazed...one came from London, another from Indonesia, another from Australia to be there. I still have a gift one brought for me.

Roxsol, I know you are right about being more compassionate toward someone who seems to be unable to stop being consistently disagreeable and insulting. I am not an unkind person, but I also think that bullies shouldn’t just have free rein becuse no one speaks up.

Oh, olychick. I don’t believe you are an unkind person at all. Quite the opposite in fact.

I don’t care for bullies at all, either. Folks only have free rein if you let them. I’ve learned to pass over certain posters comments that are not worth my time. 🤠

eta Grandma, learned to avoid Mr. Kenton in the nursing home. It was the kindest and smartest thing she could do. We were all better off for it.

To be clear, I absolutely made the distinction between English having NO formal and informal pronouns/modes of address, or a concept of such, with Germanic, Latin and Slavic languages, all of which still do have that distinction. Those are the only languages I am familiar with, I can't speak to Asian languages or African.

https://www.babbel.com/en/magazine/formal-and-informal-languages

BTW, if you are someone who wants to know a widely approved method for making friends in your neighborhood, I suggest getting a super cute dog and walking it around your neighborhood every day. Especially one who wants to be friends with everyone she sees. Our Josie pup is the talk of the neighborhood now. Kids on the bus even shout out to us how cute she is as it passes by at the end of the school day. We walk by and folks shout "Hi Josie" before even acknowledging us!

I appreciate that "free rein" was spelled correctly.

We need a Josie pic!

Fist bump , Bunny 🤠

I don't need no stinkin' written invitation . . . ;)

Josie is adorable!! I can see how she can attract the neighbors. My GF walks a trail frequently and has gotten to know a lot of the dogs that are walked there....she says she has no idea of the peoples' names, but she knows all the dogs!

That’s funny about ”rein” Bunny, becuse I did pause for a moment to decide if it was a horsemanship term or a monarch out of control, lol.

Bridle that monarch!

BTW, my town is very much experiencing a rise in crime due to drugs and transient people due to being at the crossroads of two big interchanges. But the crime is HIGHLY unlikely to be coming from a neighbor who sends a little card suggesting we get to know each other as "friends." Even as scams go, that's pretty unlikely. They didn't knock on your door telling you their car had broken down and they needed to use your phone . . .

I know lots of people who have been surprised to know that their friendly neighbors ended up being involved in some type of serious crime. One friend had her neighbors arrested and the house seized due to drug dealing. Nice suburban neighborhood and my friend said they were "nice neighbors." So there ya go, no guarantees. Being cautious about people doesn't preclude becoming casual friends. Again, that's the point of manners and social conventions, the process of vetting people. I had to do that a LOT when I was into online dating. A lot of discussion about scams and how to avoid them. There are ways of vetting people, happens all the time when you are in the business of hiring people. No excuse for not doing your due diligence. It can be done in a low key way. I recently saw an episode of "Bull" where one of the lawyers ran a background check on her new love interest and found out he was married. There were extenuating circumstances, he was separated but stayed married so his very ill wife could keep his health insurance coverage, but when he got all bent out of shape that she had even done it I thought, "Pft man, that's just common sense!"

She's a cutie!!

In Annie’s situation, I doubt I’d feel overly cautious or think much about safety. But I am alwys taken aback a bit by people assuming just because someone is a neighbor that they are ”fine” - they are a neighbor after all! Bad people all live somewhere! Why not next door?!!

Hoorah!

They sound like lovely people. Cancer researchers - kudos to them! Glad the visit went well.

Thanks for the update Annie. Your new neighbors may have been initially attracted to your home but after meeting you and Mr. Deighnaugh I'm sure they felt warmly welcomed to the neighborhood. So glad it went well.

Kswl hit the nail on the head -- she wins the grand prize! Annie, looks like you and your new neighbors had a nice introduction. All is well with the world :)

Delightful news!

How lovely to meet nice people! So glad it went well.

So glad they weren't serial killers. lol I had been thinking maybe your house appealed to them and that's why the note. We have been approached by people because we have the oldest house in town and it's unique looking. You should be flattered. Glad you met them. If this is their first house, it will be an eye-opener for them for sure.

Very nice. Imagine how wonderful life could be if everyone was friendly with their neighbors. Also great safety measure with a young child, getting to know the neighbors.

Of course, I didn't tell them that *we* are serial killers! :)

You're alive! lol Sounds like you met some nice people. But don't do that again, okay? I was hoping you'd report in. Their careers seem interesting.

Maybe you just became grandparents!

Nah, keep doing it. This tired old world needs the positive energy that newfound friendships produces.

Good will out! Annie, you have a new superpower! Love the nice outcome of this situation.

The case of The Note in the Mailbox ….SOLVED!

Happy it went so well Annie! Glad you made it out alive. Wait…did you eat there? Still feeling ok? lol. The night is still young….

Really though, it sounds like a beautiful day in the neighborhood .

Glad that you met them- careers up my alley- love the compliment about your house! ❤️

I am glad to hear of a happy outcome to the dilemma!

When I bought my house, my realtor actually sent postcards to the neighboring addresses telling them about me - that I was from out of state, unfamiliar with the area, single, child...(without my knowledge until after the fact!) I was taken aback, but interested to see the responses. The houses are close together - I am in hailing distances of 10 or 11 if on my front lawn and 3-4 more from the back. Two neighbors came over to introduce themselves and say welcome. I really appreciated it, and became friends with the one near my age and right next door. The neighbor on the other side waited a week after I moved in, then called the police to complain about a water drainage issue (a small water main leak, which she apparently knew about from the seller!)

raee, glad that worked out for you. I would have been livid for it to be broadcast that I was a single women with a child moving into that house - to people she didn't even know! Not everyone in the neighborhood is a homeowner, renters come and go, too. Dangerous people DO have to live somewhere and single women and children can be vulnerable. It makes my blood boil to think she did that.

Annie, What a nice visit, and a lovely (well earned) compliment.

Raee, That sounds well meaning but I would not have been happy either!

Wonderful news, Annie! It’s so great to hear you did go for a short visit and that it turned out well. We often don’t realize that sometimes people may feel isolated and don’t want to feel that way being new to the neighborhood. They sound like great additions to your neighborhood.

Another example of the goodness of our fellow humans. You did the right thing and there was a terrific outcome! This has been the most interesting thread on Houzz for a long time. Thank you for sharing your story and tolerating our sometimes verbose contributions. Hooray.

So glad you had a nice experience, Annie!

raee - your story reminds me of my first encounter with my crotchety next door neighbours 12 years ago. They came over the day we moved in - to ask when the hell we were going to trim the hedge between our properties. Answer: NOT on moving day!!! They were elderly as well, and would have benefited from a better relationship with us as we likely would have shoveled their driveway and helped with the yardwork if we were on friendly terms. Now there is a lovely family there who couldn't care less about the hedges and do a lot for the neighbourhood. We're lucky!

Robo, my police calling neighbor, and the one next to her, gave me a chilly reception when I saw them out and walked over to introduce myself. Fortunately, the police calling one moved just a few months later, replaced by a really nice young couple. And the other one eventually decided that I was tolerable, and warmed up enough to say hello (but we aren't exactly friends).

Oh, and that water main I got the seller to pay to repair, because she didn't disclose it. Good thing because these old mains (80 year old clay) break regularly around the neighborhood, so I avoided having Old Faithful in the front yard.