9 Non-Awkward Ways to Meet Your Neighbors
Get tips on how to finally connect with the people nearby, whether you’re an introvert or a social butterfly
Asking a neighbor for the proverbial cup of sugar can be more intimidating than it sounds. Whether we’re new to the apartment building or have lived in the same house for decades, making the effort to strike up or grow a relationship with the people who live near us often feels scary, especially when everybody seems glued to their phone screens. But it doesn’t have to be. Once we’ve made the decision to put ourselves out there, a few simple gestures can jump-start things for both the socially awkward and the socially gifted among us.
1. Get online. If you’re someone who gets nervous interacting face-to-face right off the bat, plenty of online neighbor-connection resources can help you ease into it. Many neighborhoods have active email chains or pages on apps and sites such as Nextdoor or Facebook, where local residents can share news and events, buy and sell stuff like an outgrown bike and generally keep in touch.
Local GardenWeb forums here on Houzz are organized by geographic location and allow users to swap home- and garden-related questions, seeds and plants, neighborhood tips and stories. Search for your community pages and join the conversation. If your neighborhood doesn’t have something like this already set up, you can start one yourself.
Local GardenWeb forums here on Houzz are organized by geographic location and allow users to swap home- and garden-related questions, seeds and plants, neighborhood tips and stories. Search for your community pages and join the conversation. If your neighborhood doesn’t have something like this already set up, you can start one yourself.
2. Say hello. Even a little friendliness can go a long way. When you see a neighbor in the driveway or the apartment building hallway, just smile and say hi. If you’re just moving in and lugging your coffee table past the people next-door, use that as your opening line. “I’m [your name], we’re going to be living next-door!” To take it a step further, ask if they know a good place to order pizza after the move or where you should go to recycle your boxes. The fact that you both live in the same place is a great conversational starting point.
If you’ve already lived at your home for a while when someone walks by, you can use obvious clues as your opening. If someone is carrying a tennis racquet, you might recommend your favorite little-used court. Do they have kids in tutus? Inquire about their experience with a particular dance studio if you’ve been meaning to sign up your son for tap lessons. Steer clear of anything personal or invasive.
If you’ve already lived at your home for a while when someone walks by, you can use obvious clues as your opening. If someone is carrying a tennis racquet, you might recommend your favorite little-used court. Do they have kids in tutus? Inquire about their experience with a particular dance studio if you’ve been meaning to sign up your son for tap lessons. Steer clear of anything personal or invasive.
3. Hang outside. You’re probably going to have a hard time meeting anyone if you hole up indoors all the time. Increase the chances of a casual encounter by making use of your front porch swing or front-yard flower beds.
If you’re in an apartment building or a townhouse complex, the gym or the business center offer places to connect with neighbors. Become a regular at the neighborhood coffee shop or lunch spot you like. You’ll start to recognize friendly faces and they’ll start to recognize you too.
A Denver Porch Makes a Happy Connection With Neighbors | Browse porch swings
If you’re in an apartment building or a townhouse complex, the gym or the business center offer places to connect with neighbors. Become a regular at the neighborhood coffee shop or lunch spot you like. You’ll start to recognize friendly faces and they’ll start to recognize you too.
A Denver Porch Makes a Happy Connection With Neighbors | Browse porch swings
4. Let your pet do the work. Pets make great wingmen. Research suggests that strangers are more likely to smile at, offer help to and strike up conversations with people who have dogs with them. Pets also can act as a social interaction buffer, as passers-by will often use speaking to the animal as an avenue to speak with the person accompanying it.
Even if you don’t have a pet, just noticing a dog or cat in someone’s yard can give you an opportunity to chat with the owner if he or she is nearby. In case you’ve never noticed: People tend to love talking about their pets.
Even if you don’t have a pet, just noticing a dog or cat in someone’s yard can give you an opportunity to chat with the owner if he or she is nearby. In case you’ve never noticed: People tend to love talking about their pets.
5. Run into them on purpose. Dropping by with a batch of fresh-baked cookies could go over great, but it also could create a dangerous situation as not all neighbors are OK with strangers knocking on their door unannounced. (Dietary restrictions can also make a surprise food offering risky.)
For a similarly direct approach in a more controlled environment, put the ball (or cookie) in their court. Stop them in a public or common area such as the building mailroom or the driveway and introduce yourself. If you have fresh tomatoes from your garden to spare, leftover flowers from a charity event or a neutral “Welcome to the neighborhood” gift like a candle you’d like to give them, invite them to stop by your place when it’s convenient or bring your goodies out to them.
In addition to introducing yourself, you can give the neighbor a helpful heads-up about something. (“Just wanted to let you know we’re going to be out of town … ” or “Family is visiting, so let us know if their cars are in your way.”) Just make sure you catch them when they don’t seem to be in a rush.
For a similarly direct approach in a more controlled environment, put the ball (or cookie) in their court. Stop them in a public or common area such as the building mailroom or the driveway and introduce yourself. If you have fresh tomatoes from your garden to spare, leftover flowers from a charity event or a neutral “Welcome to the neighborhood” gift like a candle you’d like to give them, invite them to stop by your place when it’s convenient or bring your goodies out to them.
In addition to introducing yourself, you can give the neighbor a helpful heads-up about something. (“Just wanted to let you know we’re going to be out of town … ” or “Family is visiting, so let us know if their cars are in your way.”) Just make sure you catch them when they don’t seem to be in a rush.
6. Do something nice. Few things will garner neighborly goodwill faster than an act of kindness. Offer to shovel a snowy driveway, help carry an old dresser to the curb or deliver someone’s newspaper from their driveway to their doorstep.
8 Tips to Help You Live in Harmony With Your Neighbors
8 Tips to Help You Live in Harmony With Your Neighbors
7. Ask a small favor. There’s always the old-fashioned tradition of asking a neighbor you’ve already met to borrow a cup of sugar or a corkscrew.
Taking a new neighbor-to-neighbor relationship to the next level with a request is a bolder move, but offering to share the resulting cookies — and telling them you’re there if they need something — is a good way to show you’ll return the favor.
Taking a new neighbor-to-neighbor relationship to the next level with a request is a bolder move, but offering to share the resulting cookies — and telling them you’re there if they need something — is a good way to show you’ll return the favor.
8. Throw a party. Slip invitations or flyers under doormats and encourage people to drop by your place or a common area for donuts and coffee or a casual backyard barbecue. You could even make a tradition out of it — a monthly block party at different people’s homes, perhaps?
9. Get involved. Much like spending time outdoors can lead to more spontaneous neighbor chats, signing up for a nearby cooking class or volunteering with a local charitable group will put you in a better position to come across people in your area who share your passions.
Many cities and towns have newcomer clubs or other community organizations, in part to forge just these sorts of bonds.
However you get your new neighborship rolling, you will, at the very least, be investing positive energy in the place where you live, whether it’s reciprocated or not. And you might just plant the seeds of a lasting friendship.
“We all want to put down a few roots and feel like the people around us are supporting us,” Nelson says. “Very few of us will perhaps take each other up on the offer to come borrow two eggs if needed, but we’ll feel closer to our neighbors just knowing they offered.”
Tell us: How did you meet your neighbors? Share your stories in the Comments.
More
The Art of Being Neighborly
8 Ways to Create a Neighborly Front Yard
How to Make Your Move Easier for Your Family
Many cities and towns have newcomer clubs or other community organizations, in part to forge just these sorts of bonds.
However you get your new neighborship rolling, you will, at the very least, be investing positive energy in the place where you live, whether it’s reciprocated or not. And you might just plant the seeds of a lasting friendship.
“We all want to put down a few roots and feel like the people around us are supporting us,” Nelson says. “Very few of us will perhaps take each other up on the offer to come borrow two eggs if needed, but we’ll feel closer to our neighbors just knowing they offered.”
Tell us: How did you meet your neighbors? Share your stories in the Comments.
More
The Art of Being Neighborly
8 Ways to Create a Neighborly Front Yard
How to Make Your Move Easier for Your Family
“Of course, after that decision we still have our internal fears about what they’ll think of us or whether we’ll look stupid standing on their doorstep,” Nelson says. “But we’ll remember how happy we would be to have our neighbors come introduce themselves to us, and eventually the biggest barrier will simply be both being home at the same time!”
Knowing our neighbors can make us feel safe in our homes and supported by our community. Here are nine painless ways to break the ice, in increasing order of effort required.