So sorry to hear about what your son went through. So happy he has met the right women.

Johnny has some serious genius. I think they are probably both nutjobs. He's out there and likely to attract women who are out there. A lot of his comments sound like venting to me. I think she is probably the worse of the two. This case isn't doing either one of them any favors.

I don’t know anything about this case, not being a celebrity watcher at all ( I know who he is; have no idea who she is). I’m glad your son is in a better place and relationship, but I have to take issue with your statements about someone ”coercing’ another to violence. No one can do that. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own actions. Violence is a choice. Self defense is different and everyone is entiitled to defend themselves. But it is a fallicy to think someone ”goads” another to behave violently. That is classic domestic violence victim blaming ”she made me do it.”

I watched some segments of the trial on YouTube and Ms. Heard seems like very unstable person. I don't know if it's the drugs, her personality, or a combination of two, but the woman needs help. I'm sure Mr. Depp isn't a paragon of virtue, but at least he had the good sense to finally get away from her after she cut off part of his finger.

"But it is a fallicy to think someone ”goads” another to behave violently. That is classic domestic violence victim blaming ”she made me do it.”"

I agree completely. Also sometimes what's heard in abusive behavior cases is "s/he deserved it"

deb_ab, I'm sorry such difficult incidents are part of your life. While domestic and interpersonal violence happen far too often, they're also not so common as to affect a large portion of our communities. Such incidents and such behavior are things most people never experience. Like olychick, I don't in any way follow "celebrities" and learned long ago that too many of them tend to lack common sense and to have behavior and attitude issues.

Good luck and better days for you and yours.

The case before the court right now is a defamation case, not who is or isn't more abusive. It is about whether or not her publishing an Op/Ed about her experiences as an abused partner have damaged his career and ability to earn. He is seeking monetary damages for his alleged losses.

Deb, the personal part of your story was successfully deleted.

Elmer, I’m going to faint, lol.

@Olychick i deleted it. I asked houzz to delete this entire post MANY times its still here

olychick, deep breathing may help. Every day is a new day, try it!

<But it is a fallacy to think someone ”goads” another to behave violently.> (Consider the Dateline reference.)

I disagree with this because I believe that mental cruelty and mental abuse can cause someone to react violently. I've know people who torture others verbally, and the people they are torturing do not know how else to react, possibly because they do not have the verbal skills to respond verbally.

I know people who have repeated abused others mentally and verbally and then acted like an innocent victim when the person they were abusing hit them. I also know women (including my sister) who think it is okay for a woman to hit (or slap) a man but not vice versa.

There is also the case of Crystal Mangum, who falsely accused Duke University students of rape and caused them to be suspended, even though they were later proven innocent.

Last night on Dateline, there was the 17 year old girl who coerced her boyfriend to commit suicide even though he had decided that he did not want to go through with it. She texted him that he had to keep his promise to her to do it, and when he got out of the truck before being asphyxiated, she told him to get back in the truck and finish the job.

Women often think that verbal abuse is not the same as violence, but it can have the same result. Often two people in a relationship are equally nutjobs.

My sister once hit me when I was driving, and I told her that if she ever did that again, I would have her arrested for assault. Women have men arrested for assault all the time, but it is rare that men have women arrested. I read the crime reports in the local newspaper and see accounts of women having men arrested for doing no more than touching them. I never see reports of men having women arrested for touching them, and so women often think they can touch men whenever they want. This has happened to me, and when I tell them not to do it, they often cry.

You can walk away when someone is goading you and get control of yourself. Some do. some don't.

i'm sure Mr. Depp isn't a paragon of virtue, but at least he had the good sense to finally get away from her after she cut off part of his finger.

I heard he cut it himself trying to implicate her. They're both sickos!

"Last night on Dateline, there was the 17 year old girl who coerced her boyfriend to commit suicide even though he had decided that he did not want to go through with it. She texted him that he had to keep his promise to her to do it, and when he got out of the truck before being asphyxiated, she told him to get back in the truck and finish the job.

I didn't watch this, but I can tell you that NO ONE can make someone else do something (barring holding a weapon to their head, or a loved one's head) simply by telling them to do it. We can get into exceptions of that for things like Stockholm syndrome and threats of harm and violence against the victims, deprivation, etc. all the things that domestic violence victims are subjected to, but in general, a violent response to verbal goading is an excuse someone with poor impulse control uses to dismiss their violence.

And you can cite anecdotal examples of men being abused by woman, but that's a red herring to the fact that the VAST majority of abusers are men and victims are women. But that's a whole different thread.

"the VAST majority of abusers are men and victims are women."

I think this is a reality of physical size, not gender tendencies. Go to a school playground. Bullies are usually larger than their victims. Those who taunt are usually smaller. Not always for either but often.

I agree with this statement insofar as physical abuse is concerned but abuse takes many forms and women are far from being non-combatants in the arena of mental coercion and emotional abuse. And, not all that infrequently, can be physically abusive too.

Maybe you missed the deep breath suggestion?

Anyone heard of or watching The Girl from Plainville? It's about texting-suicide and she was convicted of involuntary manslaughter. I remember the story (I won't watch the re-enactment) and was shocked that he committed suicide at her coercion.

I for one, do not believe Amber Heard at ALL. Furthermore, she is doing a grave disservice to ACTUAL victims of domestic violence. Women like her who lie for personal gain about such serious things are the reason real victims are so often not believed. As someone who HAS been physically assaulted by a former romantic partner, she makes me SICK.

There are recordings of her arguing with Depp about how she HIT him, and her emphasizing that she HIT him, she did not PUNCH him. Victims do not make such a distinction. Offenders do. Violence is violence. She called him a baby for telling her to stop or bringing up the assault later. She also acknowledged that she would instigate physical fights and follow him from room to room when he tried to walk away and diffuse the situation. And made sarcastic condescending comments about he was such a good person for refusing to fight back. Um, yeah he is. I do not believe for one minute he ever assaulted her. Even the covert recordings she made of him losing his temper and slamming cabinets, he made NO MOVE to hurt HER.

She has an arrest record for physically assaulting her ex wife, while Depps exes have publicly defended him.

It is also a fallacy to believe that the vast majority of victims of DV are women. They make up the majority of REPORTED DV victims. Fact is, there is a stigma against men that if they are abused by women, they are weak. Add to the fact that people tend not to believe that a smaller, physically weaker woman could abuse a man and you have a perfect victim: that is a man that cannot fight back, either because he rightfully has no inclination to assault another person, or because of the fear that if he ever DID fight back, he would be labeled the villain, because as it has been shown here, people tend to believe that men abuse women quite quickly, but are skeptical when it is reported the other way around.

She did cost him work and therefore money. Disney and Warner Brothers dropped him from huge projects, and they are paying for that now, as they should. There are talks among fans of boycotting Aquaman 2, because the studio refused to replace Heard, despite clear evidence of her lies and abuse. So the stars of that movie will suffer as well.

All her lawyers have managed to do so far is show Depps past substance addiction issues, which he freely admitted to already. No one is suggesting that he is perfect. But NOTHING I have seen suggests that he is an abuser. NOTHING. Everything suggests to me that she was, then blatantly lied about it to gain attention and pity roles, the whole time damaging his name and affecting his work, and therefore his bottom line. And then having the nerve to take public speaking events posing as a survivor of abuse. This woman needs to absolutely pay him. The only thing I regret for Depp is that he never had her arrested. He should have.

I dont know the story blfenton but I wouldn’t be surprised. Bias against women (held to different behavior standards than men) in the justice system, and elsewhere, is not uncommon. I ’d be curious if she were a man what the court outcome would have been. I cannot believe anyone could be held accountable for another’s suicide.

""But it is a fallicy to think someone ”goads” another to behave violently. That is classic domestic violence victim blaming ”she made me do it.”"

I agree completely. Also sometimes what's heard in abusive behavior cases is "s/he deserved it""

Oh, I believe it can happen, but that doesn't make it the goad-er's fault. It's still the violent person's fault - it's they who holds all the blame for losing control (and taking the bait in the first place). However, there are times when "goading" is actually abuse - the devil is in the details.

What's the problem with a deleted post still being on the site?

This posting is no longer about your personal information and I think the content of that may be mostly forgotten here. The subject seems to be Depp/Heard and domestic violence.

I agree with Amy. He deserves damages for her having published the story that seems to have ended his career and cost him a loss of income. I think they are mutually abusive.

I never saw the original post so I've no idea about any personal information posted. But I am finding the replies interesting.

Judi He testified in court that she threw a liquor bottle at him and it struck his fingers where they were gripping the edge of a counter top, the bottle broke and cut off part of his finger and completely crushed the bone inside the remainder.

Woodrose: That would be an assault ( criminal ) with the vodka bottle but they are not trying to prove any crime. This is a civil case for monetary damages.