What is your biggest source of stress at the holidays

Valentines day? No stress there

Memorial Day? its always boring because no one invites me to Bar B Qs

Fourth of July? hosting, pre pandemic, up to 40 guests in my back yard

New Years Eve? Worrying about drunks on the road

Amy......... I cannot stand people in my kitchen! Except my daughter she get's me.

Judy, no one gets me. They all annoy me......

With the exception of the first 2 years of my 43 year marriage, my holiday stress has been nil. Neither of us live near our families, and we have no children. We chose early-on not to travel on busy holidays and instead have always spent time at home with like-minded friends and strays. I've always enjoyed it and have never felt any guilt. We do family visits other times of the year, without the emotional baggage and travel delays/hazards that surround holiday get-togethers.

I don't mind people in my kitchen as long as they are making themselves useful. Otherwise Christmas is a stress period. I do all the decorating, cooking, baking, shopping, wrapping..... everything. Hubby's big contribution (sarcasm) is helping to carry in the decorations from storage to the basement the day before Thanksgiving and maybe just maybe he will put up the blow ups. Then the day after Thanksgiving he leaves for hunting for several weeks. I'm not a fan of Christmas at all.

The best thing is seeing the kids' headlights of their cars as they arrive.

The second best thing is seeing the tailights as they leave.

Sandwiched in between is ... stress. *grin*

amylou, I wonder if your guests are bored. Perhaps they should come a little later.

Having guests at all in our home feels crowded. It is a very small house. I prefer when some or all of our visiting can be outdoors.

For the first 15 years of married life we schlepped to one family or another (3hrs one way) each and every vacation we had. Because we lived far from family, back then it was what made holidays special/different. We had US each and every day so why not!! Then we began wanting to explore and "vacation". So even today 15 more years later one HUGE stress is not going to either family of origin and just sticking to the five (now 6) of us. Friends are envious at our choice, yet say THEY would turn into the black sheep of the family if they did that. We are. Hence the stress. Now our grown offspring come to us and because of how we chose back in the day I suppose soon we will be alone. Fair fair. The difference is our offspring have TONS more vacation than we ever did so maybe they will continue to find a way... The other HUGE stress is gifting. I hate the pressure of it. I love a holiday where gifts are not involved!!! That makes Thanksgiving my favorite in many ways.

I don't understand why people want to gather in the kitchen either. I've gotten to where when I'm at a friends and people start doing that I'll go into the kitchen and say "let's all go do whatever in another room" to help persuade others to leave the one cooking some space and ability to concentrate.

No stress ever. I enjoy the Holidays. I had them every year but now I enjoy them at the kids house.

Decorating the tree. DH is a minimalist (no that's not entirely true, he's lazy!) and grumbles that we have sooooo many ornaments and we neeeevvver use them all so we should give them away except for the few we use (which happen to be HIS favorites). Nope, not happening. I've already culled out the ornaments that I didn't like (except for a few which are his favorites). So what if not every ornament gets used every year? They each have their turn every couple of years and that's enough.

Minor stress is my extended family's need to bake every type of cookie we ever had during our childhood Christmases. They weren't all good. Oh well -- accept them all with grace, take home and eat the good, discard the rest (shhh! don't tell!)

I hate the holidays. There, I said it. My family is scattered, we just have DH’s sister, who has decided that she doesn't cook.

Everything is on me.

However now that we are using our Florida house, I don’t have to worry about Easter, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. DD’s both send us gifts here and we speak on the phone.

Honestly, I am over having to celebrate the commercial holidays.

We have added drama now that oldest is engaged.

The only really important holiday is Christmas for DH. I enjoy decorating a live tree. I am non observant Jewish, so I do everything because means it something to him.

Similar to eld6161, I'd be just as happy if we went from Halloween directly to Valentine's Day!! I can do without all the hoo-hah that comes in between and I am not all that wild about winter either :-) Too much fuss and bother and too expensive.

I did enjoy the holidays more when I was younger and had a family to share them with and the financial wherewithal to make them happen. But now single and with all the steps that made up our family unit grown, living at a distance and with families of their own and me living on a very modest fixed income, they just seem so unnecessary now.

I do have family - sibs and their kids/grandkids - living close by that I see (unless they are travelling, which happens often) but not often on The Day. And we can happily jump over any gifting, thank you very much! Everyone has what they want or need or can buy it much more easily themselves. I'd rather focus on birthday gifting than be sucked into the buy, buy, buy ethos that comes with the holidays.

My biggest stress is getting my family to accept the way I would like to enjoy the holidays without being labeled a grinch or a hermit :-) They are finally starting to come around. Last year was nearly perfect as the pandemic restricted much celebratory gathering. This year, my local family will be travelling and I will be left in peace to enjoy the holidays on my own.

ETA: I don't mind Thanksgiving......it is really Christmas I would prefer to avoid.

45 years of marriage here. I have always loved any kind of celebration/holiday/get together.

If I’m the one hosting, I like to do ALL the cooking. I prepare as much as possible ahead of time. Anyone can sit at the kitchen island or table and chit chat while I’m getting things ready, just don’t get in my way🙂 I’ve considered roping off out of bounds areas (like with crime scene police tape) for my guests but most of them are pretty good and it’s not something to get stressed over anyhow. I like their company.

I like being invited to other folks homes and enjoy just being a guest.

My main focus is making people feel comfortable, enjoying each others company, good food, good drink, and if I’m lucky a good card game well into the evening.

My two big stressors are my inlaws and stepson. Neither has the courtesy to RSVP or respond to voicemails and then they may or may not show up usually several hours late or early. Inlaws sometimes show up several hours early and are bewidered when food is not ready or worse they volunteer to help. DD and I have a routine and don't need or want help. Stepson always over stays to the point where everyone including DH have gone to bed and I am stuck entertaining him.

To be fair, one of my BFF's responds but never gives a firm RSVP . She and her husband are social climbers always looking for a "better offer". She has always been this way but she has a heart of gold and in a crisis she is rock solid. This doesn't stress me out as much because they are very flexible and good humored and I do not make accomodations for them.

People bringing a guest, unannounced, to a dinner they know is sit-down-at-the-table. And, especially when they don’t tell me their relationship, just a name.

People talking to me in the kitchen. I don’t mind people in the kitchen, chat amongst yourselves, but don’t chat with me.

When people ask what they can bring, I make a suggestion, and then they hem and haw.

In the 20 years that I took over from my mother to host our extended family, as many as 7 families, someone else offered to host once. ONCE. It was lovely, fun, she’s a good cook, he’s a congenial host. They later said they thought their house was too small and they would host when the new house was built. When he told me a few years later that they were divorcing, my first selfish inner thought was ”well, there goes the new house and their hosting”.

I love the holidays, everything about them. I love entertaining, being entertained, and finding ways to keep the magic alive for my friends and family. From holiday performances, to lessons and carols at church, to gathering with loved ones, and exchanging presents, it's my favorite time of year- warm and filled with light and joy.

That said, I have lots of food catered. Cooking is not a hobby of mine. I do the job well enough. I will roast the turkey for Thanksgiving, the rib roast for Christmas, and order a bunch of sides and dessert. There are things I have to make myself since buying them is impossible or not up to snuff: kipferle cookies for example.

My daughter told me yesterday my sister is bringing an uninvited guest to MY house - hmmm... thought you should ask the HOST first?! I have seating for 12... this will be #13... she told my sister that she needs to check with me - my sister said oh of course, after my friend tells me if she can come or not.

The holidays used to be very stressful for me. I hosted a big group for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Then I moved far away from family and it's just the two of us. I do not get out of my pajamas on Thanksgiving. I have pie for breakfast. I watch the parades. I do make a full spread and we eat when it gets ready. Could be two. Could be six. Thanksgiving is now my favorite holiday!

I don't like people in my kitchen either, unless they are washing dishes. I have a peninsula in L.A., and I do most of the prep on the side opposite the sink and D/W, and so it is possible for someone to be in the kitchen at the same time. Once I've finished my prep work, I move to the other side of the peninsula, and then there is really not enough room for anyone else to be in the kitchen with me, except very briefly. Because the space is reasonably tight, I can to everything very efficiently by myself.

In Cathedral City, the kitchen is extremely tiny, and I have to do the prep at the table, which is bar height, and I have to sit on a bar stool while doing it. We are replacing that table with a new one that is regular height, and we also have a dining room there, although I use it mainly for sewing. Still, it has a large dining table in it, and I can move the sewing machines out of the way, if we ever have more than a couple of guests at one time. So far, that has not happened.

Our relatives all live at least 1300 miles away, and so we've never hosted our family for holidays, which is fine with me. The worst thing about the holidays is the airports, and I have not been back to Texas for holidays since our parents died. I also have no intention of ever flying during the holidays again. The best Thanksgiving I've had was in Mexico City.

My biggest stressor is family. 2020 was a wonderful year for us as we could stay home and enjoy ourselves. We had two family Zoom calls that lasted about 30 minutes each, then were able to enjoy the rest of the holidays without travel, cooking meals for 30+ people, dealing with unhappy relatives, etc. This year, we are traveling again for Christmas and a good portion of the relatives are unvaxxed, so I'm really (not at all) looking forward to it.

Fun2BHere, wild horses could not get me to be in a house with plague vectors.

Well, no stress at all here. I usually work on the holidays. This year I was going to have Thanksgiving on the Saturday after but now I'm sick. Ordered a Covid 19 home test kit from Walgreens and if it's positive will have to back out of the dinner.

Kitchens are usually the gathering place in a home. Think about it, whenever you have company, anytime, not just a holiday, people tend to gather in the kitchen or dining area. I don't know why, but it's something I've noticed when I've had company or when I'm visiting other people. It may be that you have an inviting kitchen.

I've never noticed kitchens to be a gathering place, especially not in my parents' kitchen and not in my sister's kitchen either.

We have always gathered in what we called the den, which is an informal living room or TV room. I don't like being in other people's kitchens.

In my friend's houses in Mexico City, no one was allowed in the kitchens except for servants.

In the past, we gathered where the booze was! The hosting families when I was growing either had a wet bar NOT in the kitchen, or set one up in near, say, a laundry room for the sink. In this house, we don’t usually make cocktails so it’s just wine and beer and soft drinks, and because it is cold here we set up the bar on the unheated glass porch. People hang there for awhile but then they get cold so head back to the living room, or to the study where we had the train table set up.

I think kitchens are now designed to have people gather in them. Islands and stools really invite it, as does open concept. I think the islands and bar heights started it, then since people were at the island, the kitchen had to open up. Ours is old-school, so we might have a few non-cooks in their with a glass in their hand, but eventually they drift off to other rooms.

@bpath...I agree. Open concept kitchens allow people to hang out...and not disturb the cook. THIS is my kitchen, there's a TV to the right, above the planning desk. Just around the corner is a wine cooler, bar area with a commercial ice machine.

We have people all over when we have a large gathering.

Kitchen, den, party room, livingroom, front deck, back deck (weather permitting), lawn, even the garage 🙂 🛵🚗🚜🛻

I usually get a whole bunch of stuff for the kids, if any are coming. Stickers, magnifying glasses, bubbles…that kind of stuff.

Very nice kitchen, nicole!

eta my do not cross tape would run from island to the near corner and the island and the fridge.😁

@Kathsgrdn, I hope you do not have Covid!

Thanks, Fun2Bhere, me too.

I usually work on the holidays. This year Christmas falls on my day off. But since I don't usually celebrate it is just another Saturday for me. I could go to family's house but I won't risk catching covid. I trust my brother and SIL but not other guests that I don't know who might be there.

Stress? Do NOT interfere with my turkey gravy making. One year, SO washed the roasting pan before I was finished with it. No one made better gravy than my mother...except maybe me. So just stay away from that pan.

sealavender - LOL!!

I haven't been to a family holiday since my dad died in 1968. It used to always be at my mother's house, but after my dad died, she started going to my brother's, and my sister moved away, and back, and away, and unaccounted for sometimes. She didn't get along with very many people...so it was always just Jody and me, until Erin came along in 1980. She finished high school and moved to Houston for university and never moved back. So the concept of family or family celebrations or family getting together for the holidays is kind of foreign to me. Now my mother, brothers, sister, and all in laws, and most of my nieces and nephews, and Jody have passed away. It is just me. Erin spends holidays with her husband's family, which is good, because I am glad for her to be part of a family, although knowing her so well, she probably would rather just spend it with her husband.

Of course, I miss Jody, but I don't mind being alone. I prefer it. I bought a turkey, but not sure if I will cook it before or after or on the day. Heck, I may just leave it in the freezer. I am expecting company after Thanksgiving....not particularly looking forward to that. I don't mind company but I am ready for them to leave after a couple of days, and I get a sense that he plans to stay awhile. (He is bringing his cat). I have sort of a routine and I like to keep to it, plus I have to be home a lot because a couple of the horses are fed four times a day.

I do miss all the foods associated with holidays past, and I plan to make several of the ones I like best....probably not all at the same time. My company to-be has already sent his likes and dislikes in that department, and they aren't the same as mine....so we will see. He says we can eat out a lot. Great. Not.

Thanksgiving is stressful for me for several reasons.

We go to DH’s family for the dinner…..which starts too late in the day.

There is usually not enough food, even though everyone brings assigned items. One small dish of green beans is not enough for 23 people.

The meal is served late but the booze begins early. It flows feeely, so the mood gets to be

” silly silly”. I love fun and humor, which are very different from silly.

My biggest stress is just holidays in general. I hate cooking, I hate shopping, I hate decorating and I hate going to any type of holiday gathering. My biggest stress currently is that my new (2 years) daughter in law is a HUGE holiday fanatic. I love her dearly so I try to act all in to it. But deep down I’m just waiting for January. This year they are going to be out of town for xmas. It is also my grandson’s first birthday a few days before xmas so they will be away for that. She is so bummed to not be here for both but I’m fine with it. It’s not like he’ll have any memory of it. I haven’t bought the first gift yet and I just don’t really care to. I used to enjoy it, but over the years I realized I did all of the work and even had to buy myself gifts. Plus we owned a kennel, so I always had to work in and amongst doing all the crap. So I’m just happily not doing any of it.