Anyone here ever make. . . . . . .
Rusty
2 years ago
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Has anyone here ever adopted an older child?
Comments (12)Hubby and I came together late in life (in our early/mid 40's). Due to that and a huge host of other reasons, we will never have children of our own. We talked seriously about adopting an older child or two, to the point where I was looking at the sites and contacting some of the local adoption groups. Unfortunately, our life has taken on other responsibilities that make this an impossibility. Hubby's Mom has (probably terminal) metastatic thyroid cancer. Hubby's Dad is incapable of managing things on his own. Hubby's brother (who currently lives with Mom and Dad) is seriously mentally ill and has physical disabilities as well. He requires pretty much round the clock supervision. As their culture is to take care of everything at home and only with family, our lives will be spent "parenting" them. It breaks my heart to know that Hubby and I will never get to be parents, that we will never get to see a child grow and thrive under our care. But this is the hand we've been dealt so we just have to do the best we can. On a practical note, at least out here in CA there are special programs for adopting older/special needs children. You get a lot more support and there is actually a mandatory "trial period"....See MoreAnyone here ever do paper quilling?
Comments (12)Wow...I forgot about this post...glad someone brought it back to the front! I want to do this for cards and scrapbooking too, so I amn glad to hear it'll hopd up on the pages. It looks like fun. I need a new hobby.....my tole painting is kind of on hold for awhile, I have no time for it anymore. Jenni that is so nice of you! I saw a demonstration on TV a few weeks ago and years ago at Joann's and it looks simple enough. Not a lot of supplies either! I'd love to get into it. Guess I'll get some stuff to start this week end. Sounds like a favorite around the KT!...See MoreDoes anyone ever come here anymore?
Comments (9)Hi sayhellonow, Thanks for replying. I searched Google for Toxic Parents and came to some comments posted here from '07 or so under the topic "Adults Estranged from Parents." I think it is sometimes good to vent similar growing up situations. I am trying to improve my own outlook and my relationships with my alcoholic somewhat abusive Mom as a middle-aged adult. I would guess there are many lurkers who read the forums, but never bother to post as it is very personal. And for such things, I think using Facebook is a big disadvantage for sharing very personal issues like growing up in a very dysfunctional family. I keep Facebook usage to a bare minimum and rarely post anything considered too personal as the site is not that private anyway despite what some people may think. Anyway, with some good search skills, someone can find many answers to their personal problems, but in some cases, professional therapy is useful as well....See MoreHas anyone here, ever gotten this line????
Comments (7)The child can choose at 12 but you cannot force the parent to take him in. This happened to an adult friend of mine. Her parents split and when she turned 12 she wanted to live with her dad. THey had to go to court because it needs to be legalized. Well dad said no to the judge that he has no interest in his daughter living with him. So of course she was devastated. So sweeby, the child can choose but so can the parent. As for my sd , yes she wants to go to college, university. My husband believes that with all the poisoning BM has done saying where we live is dangerous and evil that she will still with mom for sure till18 and mostly likely wont move in after that. So he is in denial from my perspective. My SM said that most likely she will find a boyfriend and live with him. And with the value that bm has taught her....that sounds like more plausible outcome. And the home i will purchase will be outside of the city...so...will have to go to live with roommates or dormatory for university. That is anotehr option. There is nothing i can do until the moment comes except make it clear and remind my dh from time to time. I've also stated to him that when they come for an extented period of time, he loses his patience and the visit a few months ago ended badly with her and him fighting. Its not me who wotn get along with her...its my dh and i dont want to be stress because he is stressed. LH - you can't really iron it out. Because nothing has happened yet but the line was thrown from bm. I remember my Sd telling me it...and i said...what if you want to stay until you are ready to leave from moms? and i also told her that by the time i was 15 i had a fulltime job and a place of my own. The thing that disgusts me, is that this line just proves that all she wants is money....all that counts is money. Not her childs emotions, education , well being....all about the money and how much she can gouge out of my Dh. I'm just so disgusted with her and im happy i never deal with her. No communication what so ever hallaluya! Have i told you BM is a substance abuser? and has no job now? the substance she hides very well and so far the only thing we see and hear is she has mood swings...but apart from that, kids are fine. But they really do not say much about their household. Ours is very stable and its day and night between the two homes. Her new husband swears at the kids from time to time..yah we all lose our temper but even my sd friends do not like this guy. And if my husband ever told me to F off...oh nelly! Where is the shovel!?...See MoreRusty
2 years agocolleenoz
2 years ago
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