Visitation is flexible in my experience.

Yes, visitation is flexible, but since she's a good friend I think I would arrive no later than 2:40. I'm always pleased to see familiar faces at a time like that. I appreciate those that were thoughtful enough, and able to come. I feel like it helps the bereaved to get through a stressful time.

I would try to be there from the start for a good friend. You didn't say why you're aiming to arrive later, but I would think your presence would be a much appreciated means of emotional support for your friend, and it’s only a few more minutes of your time, which seems to me like a reasonable thing to give.

I too would suggest arriving at an earlier time, unless there are limiting factors you haven’t shared. (You don’t have to share, just saying we may not be aware of them.)

Thanks, everyone. I have been taking food and visiting with her, family and friends. We've been invited to the house afterwards. I'm happy to go to the visitation earlier for her since you all feel it would benefit her. I just find that conversation becomes challenging after all the pleasantries, condolences, etc. have been expressed several times.

No need to have a lot to say. Your presence communicates something as well.

I completely understand and empathize. I find small talk especially challenging at things like this, but think it's perfectly fine to just sit quietly. It's more about showing up and being a physical presence than conversation in my experience. Your kind outpouring of love and concern are surely cherished.

IMHO, visitation is like an open house. Very flexible and people will come and go at will.

Open house type coming and going always--but arriving that late may well mean you don't get to visit with the family. The funeral home will be gathering them up and prepping them for the service.

I think if you are a close enough friend to have been connecting directly with the bereaved prior to the visitation/service, it doesn't really make a difference if you are there at the start time or just arrive with a little buffer before the service begins.

My husband's brother died 2 weeks ago, and from the family's perspective much of the formal commemoration was a good opportunity for people who hadn't been in close and ongoing contact to let my SIL and niece know how much my BIL had meant to them, share happy memories etc.

I agree with Running. You have been there for the family and I personally don’t think you need to participate in the entire length of the visitation

I find most people are busy talking among themselves after offering condolences up front.

No one is watching who is coming and going.

The only time we have come as soon as visitation started was for a cousin that we knew would have a very small turn out.

And, I agree with Ida. If you are not one for small talk, talk a seat where you can sit by yourself to quietly reflect.