Etiquette Regarding Cost
lfblair768
2 years ago
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Neighborly etiquette question for privacy hedges and shrubs
Comments (25)It all boils down to what the municipal code in your city dictates you are allowed to do along with what you believe is "neighborly" but here's another opinion for all those who might look at this thread while searching for similar answers: If you live in a packed residential area like I do (and if moving is not feasible) with neighbors windows looking directly into your own windows then you will probably appreciate some privacy shrubs for screening. I strongly believe that good fences make good neighbors and I would be extremely grateful if my neighbor would stop obsessively pruning all their plants to the height of their fence line so that I wouldn't have to constantly hear or see them every time I look out my window or try to use my yard. We had to plant shrubs along the wall we share with them even though they have more room to do so than we do. Unfortunately, they severely cut back our exquisite NON-MESSY ornamental evergreen shrubs which have hung slightly (less than 6 inches) over the fence in their front yard which gave them privacy simply on the principle of maintaining their property line (they have nothing planted below/along the fence line or any other justification for doing so). Not many of us appreciate the feeling that we are being "watched" and I certainly think that even the property line fanatics who have posted above also appreciate privacy to some extent. I would be more than happy to lightly prune back my neighbors shrubs if they were to grow over too far onto my side but then again I think that would be a great "problem" to have. If your neighbors are reasonable people try talking to them. Perhaps they would appreciate the privacy shrub installation as well. Sometimes communicating with nasty neighbors is unfruitful but its worth a shot in the beginning. Also, a word on large trees: We have several protected endangered oaks on our property including an enormous one that is over 300 years old. The trees were here long before any of the houses in my area were built. Around 15 years ago, developers thought it might be a good idea to erect a massive house on a tiny lot 10 feet away from the property line and right under the trees massive canopy. The old house that was knocked down was large enough (2,500 sqft) and was set back an appropriate distance from the trees. The new house is a monstrosity and home to neighbors who hate all trees and love lawn. Needless to say this has resulted in significant problems over the years with the new neighbors who are unhappy that the biggest tree is close to them. Luckily, where I live (California) neighbors cannot just cut your tree/shrub to their property line if doing so injures or kills the tree. Cities should do a better job at preventing these issues by ensuring massive houses are not built on tiny lots or fix zoning of properties to ensure that old large specimen trees aren't being cleared to make way for concrete yards and McMansions which have destroyed the character of the city and do nothing to help the current housing crisis....See Moreetiquette on inviting specific family only
Comments (8)I, too, agree with carla's post and those that follow, on both issues. Don't do drink tickets or make guests pay cash -- just provide what you choose and can afford, period. The OP knows that it's asking for trouble to invite some but not all nephews. But it depends on so many things -- how many are we talking about? I mean, if there were one nephew who was like a son or was the only one who lived nearby and 12 that aren't, and it's a small party, I don't think it would seem like a pointed exclusion. But if you invite 10 out of 12, I wouldn't blame them or their parents for being hurt. So here again, it's a situation in which the OP needs to be careful of HOW she does whatever she does. She certainly can go ahead and invite some but not all. But if she does, then the less said, the better -- trying to justify her decision with logic will just make it worse -- and she might try to think of something else inclusive to do soon after (a holiday gathering?) or some other way to soothe any hurt feelings. If there are guests who don't seem to get it that only those named on the invitation are invited, I wouldn't put anything on the invitation. I'd discuss it very gently in private with the most responsible member of that group. Something like, "Lurlene, I'm not quite sure how to bring this up, but I need to ask for your help with something about our party. I seem to recall that once or twice one of the boys brought an extra guest to an event. I wish we could just say, 'The more, the merrier!' but this time unfortunately we have to keep a limit on the guest list. Please make sure the boys understand this; I'd hate for anyone to be in an awkward position. Thanks so much." Obviously, you don't have to follow a script, but I do encourage including two essential elements: (1) Do NOT give a REASON -- can too easily lead to hurt feelings, if personal, or arguments, if logistical; (2) ask him/her for his/her HELP -- i.e., rather than try to get the person to agree that you are RIGHT, let him/her be the gracious one. Good luck!...See MoreQuestions regarding cats/replace,repair costs and soft paws
Comments (1)You mentioned you didn't want to declaw, but there is a new method using a laser~the whole nail isn't removed, only down to the first knucke. My best friend had 2 of her cats done, and they had to stay overnight at the vet. The paws are not bandaged when they come home, and there is very little blood loss. If you want to know more, you can probably find something on line about this method.I don't have any info on the Soft Paws. ;o)...See MoreNeed basic intructions in propagation and exchange etiquette
Comments (8)HI, sorry no one has responded! Such a great and helpful group here! I am fairly new to roses, but have been swapping plants here since 2008 ( I think that's right?) anyway, I learned to go to Help Me Find (HMF) and do a rose search. It will give you information about the rose and patent date. It is my understanding that rose/plant patents run for 20 years. Plant swaps are so much fun. There is just something special about a pass along plant!! I have met so many wonderful people here. The swaps also give me the opportunity to get roses that are not available in my area. (Our small town has NOTHING to offer as far as unusual plants!!) I am on a budget, so shipping for around $6 or so (plant swap) is easier on my wallet, than to purchase and pay high shipping. I have received very healthy plants from everyone. You will find that the people on this forum are so kind and fun! They have been a blessing to me! I have learned so much by reading past post in all of the rose forums! Welcome aboard and enjoy!...See MoreBeverlyFLADeziner
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