Howdy Alan. "Spiders eat live prey." Like me? LOL Alan, do you handle insects without wearing gloves? Oohhh. I had some doubts about baiting spiders..You're right, they're not like roaches..set food inside a trap, and like motels, they won't check out. Fears are inherited from our parents/guardians. My mother would scream when a spider, well, almost any insect got in the house. She wasn't afraid of lighting bugs, butterfly's, etc, neither am I..she detested moths..bird seed (we have plenty,) attracts moths. Thank goodness, moths don't worry me. Alan, how many different types of house spiders are there? Did you know IL had Black Widows? I had NO idea..In 1994, I worked in a retail plant store. One day, my manager (she knew my love of spiders,) walked in and said, Hey Toni, do you want to see a BW? I thought she was joking..Sure enough, on the side of the building, a BW resided..A co-worker said they lived in his yard..He lives in Chicago!!! I couldn't believe it..So, out of curiosity, I phoned the Chicago Public Library for verification, asked if they'd check, and sure enough, I was informed BW's were documented living in the midwest. And other cold climate states. I'll never forget this. My grandmother bought a bunch of bananas. As she pulled one off, stuck to the peel was a dead Banana Spider. This happened years ago. Why did you wife's doctor think the spider was a Recluse? Does he have a phobia? LOL. Alan, how on earth do you remember each spider/insect known to man, latin names? If this is too personal, you dont have to answer, but I was wondering if you've travelled to places like the Amazon searching for insects. I have to scroll up to see what your occupation is. I'd have to ask my friend, Cindy, how she or whomever concluded she was bitten by a Recluse. Both people who were bitten happened to be in a country-like atmosphere. She has a summer house about 70 miles southwest of Chicago. The second person who was bitten is a friend/co-worker of my husband. I hope your wife is okay, Alan..did you charge your wife's doctor a co-pay for analyzing his spider? LOL Spiders eat Praying Mantis? You're kidding? I'd imagine a large spider would be capable, but what about small to mid sized? I don't want to harm a Mantis. Alan, nope, EW's don't amount to much, especially since you mentioned they eat new foliage. No wonder my Croton has newly bitten leaves. The Croton is on a table..one of the spots I mentioned when you lift a pot numerous EW's take off. Do you know if they're nocturnal? Thanks for the info..You are a true-blue, knowledgeable insect-person. LOL. Sarah, if I hadn't scrolled up to search for something Alan wrote, I wouldn't have seen your post.. Well, next time/if, ants find a way in, I know what to do. Thanks so much. What happens to the ants when you set out the cotton? Does it kill them or keep them out? I dont know what essential oil is..What is it? You fear crickets? Really? I love when they sing at night, while lying in bed, but if one hopped on me, I'd probably fall on my, behind..LOL..Between spiders and crickets, I'd rather deal with crickets. Are crickets the only insect you fear? What about grasshoppers? Is it their appearance that troubles you, or the fact they hop/jump? If it's the hopping, what would you if you saw a Jumping Spider? Sorry, I don't know the Latin names. Oh Sarah, your cats are sooo pretty..Beautiful in fact. The Calaco, Ugs, (LOL, that name) colors are so pronounced. Luna's a nice name..Did you adopt during a full moon? (S) I'm happy you found and adopted Ug. What color are her eyes. Nerd's huge, green eyes are inviting. Are they lap cats? Purr loud? We had a Catalina Macaw (21 yrs.) His name was Zelda, (talk about names,) he was a surgically sexed male. We got Zelda when he was 6 months old, if that. After his 15th year with us, he changed, grew violent. Not a little violent, a lot. He turned against me. Every morning, while I was sleeping, he'd walk in the bedroom and bite. Everyday I'd wake dripping w/blood. One day while walking in the LR, he charged, bit the skin between my toes. To this day, my toes are split. Meaning when I stand, my toes are shaped like a 'V.' The conclusion, he 'flew' on my face, held onto my skin..he wouldn't let go. I was spinning around, and still he wouldn't loosen his grip. Their powerful beak ranges 4-5," maybe more.. That was it. I know a few women in charge of Illinois bird shows/fairs. They adopt unwanted/abused birds. Zelda wasn't abused at all, though when he woke me, I was afraid when half asleep, I'd strike out and hurt him. We took him to the vet for a physical before thinking about putting him up for adoption..the vet said he was going through sexual frustration. He was seeking a mate. Since he didn't want me touching anyone, including our son, he attacked me. We ended up putting him up for adoption..I was so darn depressed, but there wasn't any other choice. A single, lonely man adopted him; the two get along great. I keep tabs on Zelda but not allowed to visit. After 21 years, he might remember who we are, which might cause problems..I understand their rules. If anyone asks about adopting a bird larger than a love bird, (unless they live in a warm climate and/or have more than one bird) my advice is to look for a smaller parrot or move to a sub-tropical area. Birds need company, attention, and healthy foods..Bird seed isn't adequate. No siree-bob. They need fruit and veggies on a daily basis..they can't be locked in a cage 24/7. Around 5 years of age, birds go through sexual maturity. At that time, they need a lot of attention, bond, or else they'll eat your walls, furniture, and rip anything they feel will make appropriate nesting.. Budgies and Cockatiels are good size. They're smart, learn to whistle an entire song, and even talk. Males are vocal, females affectionate. Speaking of phobias, there are a good number of people who fear birds..Maybe they'd seen Alfred Hitchcock's, The Birds movie..LOl.. Sarah, do your cats eat/bother your plants? Do they have a favorite? Toni

I don't trust companies to do the right thing because history shows that most of them don't. They will if there is something in it for the company...Oh lets see there is a tax break...OK we can do XYZ...no tax break...Oh this thing is impossible to do..we need incentives. The larger the company is the less it can be trusted. The product I create damages humans?....No it can't do that...we test everything...Ever heard that line? Companies are In business to make money - that's it..and what ever good comes from the outcome may trickle down to the consumers...but lets not fool ourselves and think that the first thing a company is thinking about in its meetings is not profits,how to make them... and how to keep making them...everything else comes along for the ride. My personal gut reaction to the problems with the Detroit auto makers is to let them pass out of existence. They are the ones who have not made cars people wanted and they have been at their game for over 20 years. The reason ford is not in as deep of trouble is because they retooled some of their cars sold to foreign markets and were able to sell them to the USA consumer. What about the other auto makers...what were they doing...Oh that's right - offering incentives to buy cheaper gasoline while selling Hummers getting 10 miles per gallon. But on a practical level I don't want the people who work for the auto makers...the folks who did what they were told and followed the car manufacturers design, to get the short end of the stick. It is as unfair to them as it is for taxpayers to foot the bill for the loan. Also what of remaining workers in other companies that are part of the auto supply chain? I am in favor of a loan with conditions. The car makers need to come up with a concrete path forward which includes goals that can be measured and assessed for improvement and achievement. No improvement - no more loans. Even a loan may not help. Loan them the money...people are getting laid off. NO MONEY....so who is going to buy a car next March? THEN WHAT? How about a switch in focus? Let them start manufacturing mass transit vehicles so we can have a good rail system like Europe has. Going to work?...take the train. Back to Downy - I really liked the performance and scent of Downy Advance...This new Downy stuff I mostly avoid because it smells so strong and lingers in the clothes for days, and to me the clothes don't feel good they feel slippery.

We had a round skirted table in our Florida house for years, as the DR was an octagon and it was really the only shape that looked right. We had a lined tablecloth made for the 60" table, which was corded and weighted inside the hem. I did not have it extend all the way to the floor, but stopped just a quarter inch short of the floor. I used a round top as in the second picture, above, but it was made of white linen and could be laundered. It seated six people very comfortably, and if anyone hated it... well, they were too well-mannered to mention it to me!

Back to the original post, as I know I am chiming in here very late..I have 2 yes 2 ADULT step sons living with DH & I now, plus a G-son 3-4 days a week. Trish, it never ends, you know when it ends? When you die. I have to be blunt. I love my DH very much, I love my S children but I do NOT want to live with them in their adulthood, they supposedly were staying here temporarily to save $ for down payments on houses but have just been spening money on cars, motorcycles etc with no signs of moving forward in life. This is all acceptable to my DH and he cotinues to enable and support them, there is no end in sight. He cannot say no to anything. We have no privacy and no time to just be a couple. I am going to start travel nursing shortly just to get away from it & get a fresh perspective. I have a very loving husband, he is a very good & kind person. It is his kindness that kills him & our relationship. He is also working like a dog & killing himself to support these adult kids. I see no end in sight for your situation unless the kiddo wants to go back to Dads house, but even at that, he could play the same game with Dad. No his behaviors are not acceptable I don't care what his issues ADD-ODD whatever. It is not okay to speak to your mother like that & the last time my son raised hs voice to me like that (at 14) he got hs mouth slapped. Momma doesn't tolerate lip, learn it-live it. Sorry, flame away folks but he is going on 23, respectful, supporting himself and we have a great relationship. He would not dream of speaking to anyone like that. BUT I have chosen from the start (8yr.s ago) to not parent my S-kids since they were teens already, rather to be a support person in their lives. We have good relationships though somewht superficial but thats ok, I'm not their mother. They know they can come to me if they need to but they also know they cannot use me like they do their father. So when they want money, they go to Dad. DH & I parent completely different. And like you, I am 43, DH 54, I was looking forward to us being couple and the kids being out on their own. I don't want to have a houseful anymore, I don't want to be a built in babysitter, cook, chauffer, etc..but no one cares how I want to live. So we are in similar situations as far as that goes. I can't make my DH change his life I can only change my circumstances. I am hoping the short term (13 weeks assignments) seperations may change his things or maybe I will like living alone again, who knows. My only advice to you is don't think if the son moves to his dad's he will stay there. Long term this kid will be in your life, maybe (probably) he will mature and behaviors will improve but it's a long road. Personally, ifI knew things were going to end up like this I would have left a long time ago. I think you should get on with your life, seperate and let her take care of her son and their issues, otherwise it WILL (I promise you) take over your life. CL