I am "guilty" of repeating stories as my children so many times remind me. Most of them are about their grandparents & great grandparents, and I want them to remember.

Other times, I think we simply forget who we've told the story to-- in normal conversation -- and who we haven't.

A bit of patience goes along ways.

I think it entertains "them". Makes the story teller laugh. Makes them happy to hear the story again.

My late husband was a talker. He had specific stories, anecdotes, jokes that he especially liked. Whether funny or interesting to anyone else, they were to him. And he shared them repeatedly for years.

Some people love the sound of their own voice. The question of their audience is immaterial. Whether you are listening or engaged, the story teller is meeting his or her own needs. I grew up with a step parent like this. It is sad in a way.

My mother did this every day. She was also a narcissist. Whenever there is the slightest possibility I may be repeating a story I'll preface it with something along the lines of, "Please stop me if I've mentioned this before!".

My husband was the talker. He loved to tell the same stories over and over. They made him and everyone listening laugh. He's gone now and I so miss those stories.

If everyone is laughing, then the talker is entertaining everyone. My step father needed zero feedback. If you listened in complete silence, he was thrilled, more air time for him.

As I write this, I’m thinking of my mother and my DH, both of whom weren’t necessarily talkers by habit but would often repeat a story that meant something to them. My Mom because there are so many of us she had a hard time keeping track of who she told what to and my DH who just had had good adventures and memories. Both are no longer with me and I miss hearing their stories every day.

ETA: You get it Elizabeth. Fortunately, I got it too when my DH was still with me so I always enjoyed hearing his voice regardless of what he was saying.

SIL always has to fill the air with chatter. Most times it is details that have nothing to do with the story. She also likes to gossip, often times it’s someone I don’t even know.

Since she is DH’s sister, I have to be polite. I avoid her as much as possible.

(Hugs Lukki)

OP, I'm not sure what you have in mind. For me, some are outgoing, friendly and talkative, interested in engaging in conversation.

At the other extreme are people who are what I'll call "chatty" who can talk on and on in a monologue about inane, mindless things no one cares about and about which the chattering person expects no responses. People like this are exceedingly annoying. It reminds me of when standing in line - like at a store or at an airport but equally elsewhere - when someone unilaterally begins a rambling series of utterances with me often about a random who knows and who cares topic. Even through I'm a friendly and outgoing person myself, I find such people annoying and invading my space without an invitation to do so.

"I was just over at the Safeway. The parking lot really needs to be repaved. Not only that, but the bananas were all green. I like having a banana in my cereal for breakfast and this store didn't have any at all. I'm not sure, maybe I'll go out to breakfast tomorrow. Have you noticed how bad the parking lot is?"

Me - Huh? Then turn on the "ignore" function.

Partners inevitably hear reruns from their mates. I'm not sure anyone has so many things to say that each utterance is being said for the first time.

I've know a couple people like that, that repeat the same story, word for word, 2 -3- 4 times in a row. Laughing all the while, because it's (supposed to be) (and often is) an amusing story. These were very EXTROVERTED!!! OUTGOING!! people. I think they simply wanted to ensure everyone was having as good a time as they were. Not a bad intent. And yes, they needed to fill any silence more than most people.

My grandpa was the storykeeper in our family. He'd tell the same story but at different times, to maybe slightly different audiences. But he didn't repeat a story multiple times in a row. Sure wish someone had written them down or recorded him.

My husband's family was all like this. Let them get together and the remember the family, insert name, that lived any direction started. They were related to etc. His was living in England as a child with each move the family made. Luckily there were only 4.

Elmer J. Fudd....yes, these are the people I am wondering about. The annoying ones. Their stories aren't even amusing, interesting or meant to draw you into a decent conversation. It just seems that they talk for the sake of talking.

I guess I'm suffering from overload of a neighbor who has taken up at least an hour at a time several times this week with stories that I've heard too many times.

Perhaps that neighbor is lonely and has no-one to talk to. They may have lost the art of two-way conversation?

"overload of a neighbor who has taken up at least an hour at a time
several times this week with stories that I've heard too many times."

I understand. I think we're all guilty sometimes of not remembering which "stories" have been told to whom but it's the monologue, random inane chatter, answers to questions not asked babble that annoy me.

I'm the person who decides how I spend my time, not others. "You" can't appear and decide how and for how long I'm going to spend time while you're near me. With a random person in public, ignoring them usually works. With someone like a neighbor, after a short while (maybe 5 minutes) I'd say - "I don't want to keep you too long here and I have a few things I need to do right now. See you soon."

Before caller ID, I had a person in my life who would call every morning and keep me on the phone forever. She talked the entire time without taking a breath; IMO it was abusive. Fortunately for me, caller ID came to be at that time and I was the first one in line.

I've known more than one person like this and find them very selfish. They are only interested in a one-sided conversation about themselves. I'm probably hypersensitive to it.

I'm pretty introverted and really need quiet time to recharge and let my brain "rest."

Some people exhibit a behavior I call "machine gun chatter." They talk and talk and talk and talk and nevertakeabreath and talk and talk and talk some more about everything and anything under the sun. Then they'll finally take a breath and you try to say something - but NOPE. They talk over you and ignore what you're saying and just keep on freaking talking.

It exhausts me. If it goes on too long, it actually gives me a headache.

I'm not talking about a normal conversation with give and take from both sides - I'm talking about the people who just never shut up. They have no interest in anything you may have to say - they yammer just to hear their own voice and/ or fill the silence, or for whatever other reason they just can't or won't control their own talking.

There are a few people I've known throughout the years who seem to be really nice people - but I can't stand to be around them. They machine gun chatter away and it gives me a headache. I've ended 2 friendships with people who seemed to be really nice people but I could never get a word in edgewise. I'd walk way with a headache after spending hours with them and me not being able to say more than 3 words the whole time....it wasn't worth it to me.

My Dad used to tell me the same stories over Sunday coffee on about a three week cycle, over and over for years. I think he did know that he'd told me the stories many times before but just could not help himself. I was bored out of my gourd with these stories.

patriceny....I'm with you 100% ! I sometimes feel like they are sucking the energy from me. I understand your post completely.

I am not a pro. I know that's a common medical condition in older age groups. We probably will be there someday too. Lol You always have a choice to listen or to walk away. You can't blame on the person who has this condition. For the people who like to be the center of attention, they are more likely to have another condition called Histrionic personality disorder. and some of them may also have princess syndrome. That can be tough to deal with. :-)

Sounds like you've had to do some figurin' about these talkers, summersrhythm.

So funny you posted this today. I just asked our DD this morning, as I started telling her a story, "did I tell you this before?".

My father and maternal grandmother were like this; in fact they were very much alike, which may be why they hated each other so much. My father would tell me the same stories over and over (pretty much verbatim), and so once as a child I told him that he had told me one of the stories before. He said, "If you know it so well, then you tell it," and then I proceeded to tell the rest of the story exactly the way he had told it to me many times. Then he said, "Maybe I did tell you that before." My mother would "tune him out," which is what my brother does, but I do not have that talent or ability.

My mother's mother would tell stories over and over, and if she happened to have something new happen to her, she would get on the telephone and call everyone she knew and tell them the exact same story verbatim. I would have to leave the room when she was doing this. She was also a terrible gossip, and so a lot of what she was repeating was gossip. She would also make a point of telling the gossip to the people who were the last ones who should have heard it.

I am pretty tolerant of random strangers talking to me. I consider it a challenge if a Jehovah's Witness tries to talk to me. Sometimes I tell them that I have been visited by aliens from outer space, and they get very interested and want to know what the space aliens have told me.

My father's mother told a lot of stories, but I suspect that she made a lot of them up, as they could sound like wild tales. She was also a Jehovah's Witness, but she made up her own version of the religion and would then go around town witnessing her version of it to anyone who would listen. Her church tried to get her to stop, but they were unsuccessful. My mother told me told to listen to her. Both my parents did not like their MIL's.

I sometimes tell a lot of stories, but I make sure to be aware of whether the audience is really interested or not. Once when I was in Vancouver, hitchhiking to Wreck Beach, a friend of mine saw me on the street and made a "U" turn to pick me up, and then he went with me to the beach while I told him stories about what had been happening to me in San Francisco and Mexico since I had seen him last. As we were walking along a wooded part of the beach, I happened to notice that some people who were half-hidden appeared to be listening to one of my stories, and so I became suddenly silent. Then one of them said to me, "Don't stop -we want to hear what happens next!" That was a bit startling to me, but at least I wasn't boring them. No one has ever accused me of being boring, but that doesn't mean that I'm not. I did take a creative writing class under Larry McMurtry and made an "A". He said that some of my stories were Kafkaesque. Some people tell me that I should write more of them down.

This is getting long, but I will add that one of the reasons I wanted to learn so many foreign languages was so that I would be able to tell if people were talking about me. I heard so many different languages riding just one bus in San Francisco (the 38 Geary Bus comes to mind), but I was never able to learn all the languages I heard on that bus, and so I gave up. Once I did learn a language, I discovered that people were not talking about me, and that made me feel better. There were some German tourists in Monte Albán, Oaxaca who complained about me to their tour guide, thinking I would not understand German. They complained that I should not be looking inside the graves, since I had not paid for the tour, but the guide told them that everyone was allowed to look into the graves.

I have different reactions to different kinds of talkers:

I enjoyed my Dad's stories, wish he was still here to tell them.

If I thought the talker was genuinely needy or lonely over some specific recent event, I would give them some of my time. It is a blessing if one can take the time to point the lonely to a solution- a senior center, a special interest club, adopting a new pet who might need the person as much as the person needs them.

But for those like the chronic ones who overwhelmed Patriceny, I would find a way to extricate myself and leave. When one is taken advantage of like that, if one allows it, it will continue.

one of the reasons I wanted to learn so many foreign languages was so that I would be able to tell if people were talking about me.

Lars that is funny. Let them talk! Be proud that you make an imprint in your world!

What about the one's that blast you with their political opinions and never seem to take a breath. You can't even get a word in edgewise to say, " I gotta go". I tell them that I hear so much of this on TV ( I actually don't ) that I am tired of the subject.

I've been guilty of repeating the same story. I think we all have if we are old enough and honest enough. But I am comfortable in silence. I love going on horseback rides with just me and my instructor. Today we rode for an hour and a half and barely said a word the whole time. Just time and distance checks and stopped to investigate some interesting animal tracks. We met another rider we know on the trail and he joined us for a bit. Again minimal talk. On the other hand when my female classmates show up it's nonstop chatter during the slower portions. Not ride related. Just girl talk. I sigh, I see the instructor sigh. I sigh. Sometimes even the horses sigh. LOL

I love conversing with people but mindless chatter to fill the silence and one up-manship tales bore me to tears.

Lars, I have read almost every Larry McMurtry book written ... love his writing. What a great experience that would have been. You really are an interesting person 😏.

Sometimes even the horses sigh. -- LOL so funny I can picture that perfectly!

I become a story-teller if there's a trigger. Dh & I were walking past a poster shop in Aspen Colorado, when I remembered my sister and I going into that shop. My sister noticed there were "no" prices on ANY of the framed posters. She said, "They probably had them rolled up for sale in the backroom. She wanted to buy this one. Probably $20." The shop owner came out, she asked, "how much? He said $5K." She said, "WHAT?!" He said "they were ALL originals. She needed to get a rich boyfriend to buy her one." She replied, "Are YOU available?" By then, I'd attracted a passerby who'd stopped to listen....and she burst out laughing.

The people I know who are overly talkative (and there aren’t many) will instantly have something they’ve got to go do when someone else can finally get a word in. They obviously aren’t interested in a conversation, they just have a need or itch to satisfy. Those are the kind of people I tend to avoid, which is why there aren’t many I know like that! (ha ha). I follow the 3 strikes your out rule and after that, I’m done.

Gossiping is where I draw the line. I hate gossip. I think it’s tacky and usually the people who do it are just as bad or worse then the people they gossip about. That’s when I say, yup....time to go.

How about turning this around. "Question about non-talkers"

I'm not talking about shy people. I'm talking about passive people. You're at a gathering, don't know everybody there. Unless there is somebody in the group who is willing to risk it, the group sits silent. You try asking a question to open the door and the answers are minimal, and a smirk. You wonder if you've wandered into some dimension where everybody knows something that you don't. So after a few tries you sit there and don't say anything and the conversation sporadically addresses the weather, the game last night.

I'm just making this up -- it's a general experience that I have run into occasionally. And this can be even with casual friends. I know someone who comments "Oh she really likes to talk" -- about a friend of ours. Well for heaven's sake, thank goodness SOMEBODY likes to talk or I'd be wishing I were drunk.

I find *nonstop* talkers to be insecure people. They fear you aren't listening. They know they are boring. They are DESPERATE for attention. These people often lard their talk with 'um', 'you know', etc. simply to give you no chance to break away. Pitiful, really.

*Good* story-tellers are rare. (We can observe this in novels, where we can at least close the book!)

This is one of my pet peeves. I get annoyed by talkers. I've been working really hard at being nicer about this in my head and in person. I am guilty of excusing myself from conversations or saying "Oh, yeah, i remember you telling me that." I've had to get better at this since living with an elderly parent. We go down memory lane a lot and I have a co-worker with the kindest heart in the world who is a talker.