Brian, thanks for your very informative response. I have been to the Raleigh/Chapel Hill/Cary area a few times while visiting my son who is stationed in Goldsboro and found it very lovely. My DH was raised in a town in Connecticut that had a population of 2200 and now we live in a town with a population of 480. He actually LIKES this. I am all for living in a small town for I like the sense of community pride and commorodity that goes with that but I prefer a small town with at least 15,000 - 20,000 people LOL. My DH also wants acreage. Not a particular desire of mine as long as I am not living on top of someone else. He could never live on a property less than a few acres and that is where we are running into some issues. Due to the type of work he does we need to be within reasonable driving distance to a metropolitan area. I understand that Raleigh and Charlotte are the two places he is most likely to find employment so I have been scouting bedroom communities for both cities. I have found some lovely homes in the Lake Norman district outside of Charlotte as well as some in the Cary as well as Clayton area outside Raleigh. Thanks for the headsup about northern Raleigh and Cary. One thing I know is sure to send my hubby off the deep end is the hummer crowd. We see a lot of that where we live in the Berkshires. My hubby is a sweetheart and hates confrontation but he is also a man comfortable with who he is. Whenever he is amid the keep-up-with-the-Jones type of people something comes over him and he turns into a neanderthal which if it weren't so in-your-face- on his part it would be rather comical. We have the "New York" aka "The Wallstreet Crowd" that own summer homes around the lakes in our area. They are excruciatingly politically correct, pretentious and obnoxious. To protest their invasion every year DH goes out of his way to make things unpleasant for them. He has an old truck that he named Mable. The thing should have been buried about 25 years ago yet he insists on keeping it professing its value for hauling things around the property. At the peak of summer when he is sure to find the snobs, I mean New Yorkers at the one and only general store in the area he insists on driving my little daughter (who does not know any better) to the store for an ice cream cone. I have had the "pleasure" of being on a few of those trips myself and it is rather humorous to see the expressions on these peoples faces as he pulls "Mable" next to their Lexus' or Hummers. LOL...I overheard one man tell his wife "it really is time to sell our place here" after seeing my husband pull in and get out of his truck. She responded "oh dear but we love the lake so". It was the one and only time that I really wanted to go up to someone and tell them how rude they were and how much we looked forward to fall every year to be rid of them. At the time my DH was running his own company and financially was probably doing as well as anyone of these pompous jerks but they judged the book by the cover and thought we were the "poor relations". I managed to hold my tongue and I am glad I did. What do I care what these trogs think anyway and it is a good lesson for my daughter to learn about humbleness as well as seeing for herself how plastic some people truly are. I am all for intellectual dialect but attitudes are best checked at the door.

Before I launch of into the ether, LavenderLass..... Your husband is doing OK now, and y'all are over and out of perils and pitfalls that befell y'all? This is gonna be a fairly long ramble, 'cause I’m really good at such things, and I sorta kinda in a way wanna brag about it all anyway..... We started on our new place at the end of this past June. Well, if you count the well and septic as starting, it was the first week of June We have a nice 1888 sq ft house on a couple of acres surrounded by a couple of acres of county owned "Storm water run off ROW" right down town here in the middle of the big city, Well, OK, with the "finished basement" I reckon it's really more like 3456 sq ft, but around here nobody counts a finished basement as part of the house. It's kind of just expected. We have always had a place way out in the sticks since we first got together 33 years ago. We had a really nice almost 2.5 miles off the road down a private ROW in the middle of an Appalachian foothills hollow out of the way almost 40 acres that we bought when the kids started middle school and we decided I was keeping the "new" job and that we would move closer to the real world than our 105 acres in the middle nowhere Tennessee was. Then a moron in a great big hurry passed a school bus on a curve and there I was. To make a real long story short enough to bear, everybody but me thought that being a "Neurological disaster area" that far off the road with no neighbors and cell phone service only if you're in the right spot is totally unreasonable. My wife said she would be OK with me finding a place just as country just half as close to home (which would have been 13.75 miles) and half as far off the road with a neighbor or two...... Which of course no one thought I would ever be able to do. So, I asked everyone everywhere that I came across and looked and looked and drove down every un-named pig path around and at last found a very nice 17.3 acres located almost right where three counties meet right in the very middle of the NC Piedmont. Unbelievably rural for considering its' being just 7.5 miles from the square in the booming metropolis of Mocksville, NC. and pretty much equi-distant to Salisbury, Lexington, Statesville, and Wake Forest University/Baptist Medical Centerin Winston-Salem. And it's just 47 miles to the terminal entrance at Piedmont-Triad International Airport in Greensboro, NC. and 67 miles to the terminal entrance at Charlotte-Douglas International Airport in Charlotte, NC too. C was at first in shock that I actually found such a place and was a tough sell on me getting us this, but she finally realized that I was never going to shut up about it said if I could swing the deal that she would sign her name on the dotted line right next to mine. Everybody concerned, the people selling it, the real estate agent, the neighbors, the county folks, the people down the road, everybody, said we were never going to get it at what I was willing to pay. Everybody, except me of course, had little enough faith in my unfathomable charm and and bull dog (though many call it bull something else) tenacity to think that I would ever be able to talk us into making such a deal. But, I DID! And so C just like she said she would ended up signing her pretty little signature right next to mine and it's since Dec 2013, it's ours..... Very private at a little over 1.3 miles off the pavement across three cattle grates through pasture and woods down an excellent shared private drive with one neighbor 500 - 600 feet distant on each side of the home-site. A school teacher couple with no kids on one side, and a retired serviceman and wife on the other, and an absolutely palatial estate behind across the river. Due to the location on an oxbow of the river, and being in a three county "Designated Agricultural District", that's all the neighbors there will be. And the "Designated Agricultural Area" is bigger than this whole one town one high school county of maybe 40,000 is, and near as I can tell has a population density of 32 per square mile, which for east of the Appalachians, especially in the Ga/SC/NC/Va Piedmont, means it's virtually empty. Sort of a pie shaped property with almost 2100' on the S Yadkin River. From a +75' bluff above the river down to several hundred feet of actual real sandy beach right down along and with two great big and deep swimming holes including one with a great big rock sticking up right in the middle for an excellent diving platform into its' 12 - 13 foot deep hole, with 300' fronting the "drive", +3000' along the longest side of the property with +1200' along the "opposite" side. And the river is from beginning to end one of the very few NC state "Protected Watershed"s and there willnever be any kind of development adjacent to it, no industrial plants, no sewer plants no nothing except woods and farmland. C had serious doubts about the rational of buying this place, but, the chances that anybody could now talk her into selling bit and buying something else, are substantially less than zero..... Approx. 5.5 acres of very nice and healthy pasture/field - with close to 12 acres in large mature hardwood's from level river-front floodplain to gently sloping to fairly steep hillside. And several acres of those hardwoods down in the flood plain that will one day make another several acres of beautiful shaded summertime pasture too. We have us a new permitted and tested and approved 282' well with static water at 60', and a new permitted and tested and approved septic system installed. We bought a really odd 14 X 68 half of a double wide with an odd 2 separate pitches roof that we stripped out from end to end and is now in the process of being completely and totally ever so slowly redone by ME formerly 2 bed/2 bath - now being turned into a luxurious 960 sq ft 1 bath, 1 bedroom with a small alcove, an entrance-hallway/laundry/closet, a 9'6" X 13' "spare" room (for ME!), and a large sewing room and walk in closet. VERY rustic in the outside appearance as the neighbors are like minded and none of us are concerned with what the drive by traffic that will never be, nor are any of us about impressing the county tax folks or anybody else except for the Great Blue Herons, Beavers, Bald Eagles, Deer, Turkey, Fox, Bobcats. Rabbits, Raccoons, Skunks, Possums, Wood Ducks, and according to one local lunatic, Bigfoot too, that are all in abundance here. A wonderful retirement place for us, our now grown and hopefully permanently gone kids, our 5 dogs, horses, cattle, goats, and chickens, and our peace of mind too..... You could look and look, but it's it's absolutely no exaggeration to say that no one will ever find another "almost like being in the mountains" place like this anywhere in all of the Ga/SC/NC/Va Piedmont. OK. The youngest of the great big Great Pyrenees wanting to go out and play in the snow, I am done with my brag..... As next week is the first time this season since early November that we'll see temperatures hit 60F, work is about to once again, begin in earnest. And regular reports of perils and "progress" and pic's too are soon to follow.

Sorry David; I see you did post back. I guess you addressed your intent, but I don't understand this in your original: "Here's my contribution, ready for the New Year: Q: how does a narcissist social climber express empathy to someone whose spouse has died?....." Really hope that isn't something you're dealing with! As for the rest of it. Why the need to ask questions like "Am I bad for wanting..."? You know a Q like that has a predictable answer. You'll get some soothing affirmation you're looking for and you'll also get some completly opposite responses which will most likely be interpreted as self rightous, judgemental and tick you off. Why post about bad manners in one forum when the bad manners happened in a different forum? If it was so upsetting why not address the offenders in the forum where it occurred or ignore it instead of taking it out of context by looking for affirmations and allies in a different forum? Please know I'm not picking on these 2 threads, and by "you" I don't mean the OP of those threads. Those were the 2 that were mentioned and I'm just talking generalities. I'm pretty new to GardenWeb, but I've seen a few others in the same vein. Reports of GW kitchen forum being biased agains wood or contemporary kitchens, only being for "rich" people's kitchens. Complaints about threads not getting attention or many posts because there are favored "regulars" and therefore they don't intend to hang around after their kitchen is done. Designers posting their work and getting ticked when people are honest about what they don't like. I guess my point is why ask Q's that BEG for a judgment of your own character or the character of others? That's just looking for trouble. And if we don't have a tough skin for honest opinion about our projects and tastes we probably shouldn't post. I hope this high school "mean girls" stuff (for lack of a better description)is rare, because GW appears to be a fantastic resource with tremendously helpful people. I haven't ventured beyond the kitchen forum, but my goodness I'm so thankful so many people are willing to share their thoughtful ideas, expertise and resources! Some amazing contributors offer more detailed and more professional looking design and layout plans than I can get from paid professionals! It's awesome. Thanks and I look forward to more great info in 2011!

I really appreciate all your comments and suggestions. In rethinking this, we’ve decided to move the dining room table to the left of the kitchen, ditch the banquette and turn the former dining room into a morning room/library. (I am having trouble giving up my existing house and I was attempting to take many of the rooms we now have and recreate them in this proposed house. Both my husband and the building designer had suggested otherwise but it wasn’t until reading all your comments that I finally realized this just wasn’t going to work. ). I think this arrangement will work really well. Greenfish1234, I love the house pictured in the link you sent. Our proposed house looks very similar, flipped so the garage is on the opposite side, with a shed dormer above. It will then have the master bedroom wing where the garage of your picture is. And there is enough room over the mud room to connect the bonus room with the rest of the upstairs and include a bathroom there. I also think your suggestion about finishing the bonus room later is a good one, and that was our original intent; however, when I tried to fit my husband’s TV into the plan downstairs, it just didn’t work. We compromised by deciding to finish the mud room sooner, rather than later. And if it seems too expensive, we’ll just have it finished to the drywall and flooring and my husband can do the rest later. He’ll be retired at that point, his “shop” will move into the basement and he’d love having a project to work on. My existing furniture will fit there perfectly and it will get the morning sun.