I went for the first time last weekend and it is a garden not to be missed! If you want to learn what a particular rose looks like when fully mature, here's the place to go. You can see it in comparison to so many others too. How might it look in your yard? What does that foliage look like? What is the ultimate shape of the plant? As Eurodesert is closing, and roses are being sold all the time, there just won't be an opportunity again to see and be able to purchase such a variety of very rare roses. Some never seen in North America before. So put on a pair of comfortable walking shoes and plan to spend the day absorbing rose history and adding something very special to your own garden. Here is a link that might be useful: Cliff's High Desert Garden

A-Hem. Well...since you asked.... *grin*.... A VERY long time ago- about, oh, 18 years or so - I was at a slumber party with a couple of friends. We were roasting marshmallows on a bonfire, out in the front yard. And, since this was out in the sticks (and I mean...WAY out in the sticks, the closest neighbor was 5 miles away, and the closest neighbor to THEM was 5 miles away......ANYHOO....pardon, too many brownies, My mind tends to wander....) SOOOO....this was out in the sticks, and there were chickens running around in the yard. Poor, helpless, defenseless chickens. Lots and lots of chickens. So there we were, using old wire coat hangers (unfolded, of course) to roast marshmallows. Then, the unthinkable, un-avoidable, and totally a waste of good marshmallow happens. My marshmallow caught fire. And I don't mean *fire*. I mean....FLAMING, INCINERATING, little-ball-of-DEATH type fire. Yay. Naturally, I'm calm and collected....while the other girls are screaming their fool heads off. "YOUR MARSHMALLOW'S ON FIRE! YOUR MARSHMALLOW'S ON FIRE!!!!" Yeah, duh..... So, I react in an appropriate manner, of course. I start waving the coat hanger/marshmallow fire ball in the air, hoping to fan out the fire. Next thing I know, the marshmallow goes flying off the end of the wire, whizzing through the air.....ZOOOOMMMM!!!!...... And smacks a poor chicken RIGHT ON THE NOGGIN. Still flaming, with marshmallow-ey goo going everywhere, the poor chicken runs around bock-bocking all over the place. We all run for the water hose, and put the chicken out... But she didn't make it. :O( Guess what we had for supper the next night? Yep, roasted chicken!

Wanted to drop a note and give an update. Last time I posted we had decided to tell BM she could have Thurs to Sat but sd needed to be home on fathers day.So bm said shed see about getting Thurs off at work. (she was already off Fri and Sat.... and we never heard a word back. Finally DH made contact on Mon and said we needed to know so we could make plans. Got a message back canceling for schedule changes at work..WTH? It has now been almost 7 months with no contact or visit for SD. And if she is working where the heck is the child support?? It is really far behind and CSE says they have no record of employment where she claimed to be working...... We are trying to figure out whether we should tell SD we had contact with BM or not. on one hand I think SD has a right to know that we heard from BM even though BM didn't ask to talk to SD and hasn't in the past 7 months. Originally, We were holding off telling her there would be a visit until we were sure there would be and now I am glad we didn't tell her. Would have been just another let down. on the other hand if we do tell her we had contact what do we have to tell her? thaat BM made contact but BM is still unable to visit? I really don't want to tell sd she said she was gonna visit and then canceled...that will only make sd feel bad..WWYD?

As harsh a reality as that is and it sometimes can be completely insane, Deborah is right about the "cub" thing. You better play it smart or else you will be kicked to the curb never the son. A son can be a spoilt, selfish, lazy and useless brat and the mother will still fend for the cub. He could even be a total pyscho and most mothers will fend very strongly. In this case he belongs to the former rather than the latter and this is the case most of the time. I have a step son who is 13 and I am sending him to live with his Grandparents. I had to play it very smart to get this to occur. The step son uses me and shows no respect he never has. The first time he ever met me when he was 10 years old he asked me for money. He hits his grandfather and shouts at him when his grandfather tries to assert himself. This boy has run the joint ever since he was born. If he did something wrong, grandma would give him some candy or some money. His mother is a single mother and the father abandoned her and the son and daughter who is a fantastic girl turning 14 this year. She works her ass off and I have nothing but respect for what she has done since I got involved in their lives. But the step-son is different and is actually undermining her development. This was especially so before I entered the picture when the daughter was a wreck always moaning and upset yet unable to verbalise her feelings. She was ignored while the step son who is useless in an economic sense continued to rule the roost. Despite these kind of factors mothers will do anything to fend for the cub. My way of getting him to the grandparents was to argue that they give him what he wants, and that the cost of me disciplining him at this late stage is just to great. The house would be a warzone, a pitched battle between me and the step son to get him to take responsibility and to demonstrate respect for the fact that I dragged him and his entire family out of borderline poverty. He does not give a shit that I did that because he is no longer in control. When his family was poor they still spoilt him. They are still poor now mind you but they will never fall below the poverty line; i am their security guarantee. A 13 year old boy is old enough to understand this in theory. Especially the MASSIVE change in living standards. They lived in a 'house' the size of a small bathroom with 6 people and rats running around it. I pulled them out and all i get is used by the step son who actually prefers the old life because he was the boss and did whatever he wants. When I tried to control him it became war and instead of continuing it I said to his mother, you know what, he now knows that he can not beat his elderly grandfather and shout at him (because I grabbed him by the throat when he did it). With that control mechanism in place, he knows that if he does it again I will take it further because that is just beyond the pale, beating or hitting and screaming at your grandfather who loves you and kept you alive slaving in a factory for 60 hours a week for a paltry 25 dollars for the entire week...So with that being said, I argued that he should go to the grandparents for now, they love him and will spoil him gladly and he will be very happy as he can do whatever he wants. Me on the other hand, I want to vomit when I see it and refuse to do it. The cost of trying to get him to play ball in society is not worth the result because he is not my son. But my argument to the mother was not that, because I would have triggered the 'cub defence mechanism' that is inbuilt in all mothers. My argument was simple: (1) he will be loved and there will be no real conflict (2) the grandparents love him to pieces and are happy to take him (3) he will be happy there and you (the mother) will not have to worry about me disciplining your son anymore (3) (i actually most left this part out though) her daughter can focus on her study without her brother and grandfather taking over the house with their bullshit (grandfather cooks fried pork fat hotdogs and fried chicken for step son every morning) the daughter eats it because it is what is there - that will change when the step son and grandfather go back to the grandmother's house. Moral of the story is if you want to get rid of a step son you have to make it benefit him 90% + with very little downside to him personally; in my case it helps that he never liked me despite what I did to get him out of poverty. So easier to get rid him. Also I pay the bills. Depending on what your situation is you have to tailor your reasons accordinly, but if you want to succeed you must make getting rid of him a plus for him personally and not for yourself. Otherwise you will trigger 'mother cub mechanism' and it is GAME OVER if you do that. Find a way to make getting rid of him a net benefit for him and make sure that he is in a safe loving environment. You won't succeed in having him go to a less safe environment because that will trigger the mother. BE VERY SMART and capitalise on ANY viable opening you might have.