No more female doctors, I'm done!

Jasdip

I had my doctor for decades, and when he was away on holidays etc, a young female doctor would fill in for him. She was great, I liked her.

She had a baby and decided not to come back to practicing.

When he retired a couple of years ago, he sold the practice to 2 female doctors. The one we had was so wonderful! She was fantastic with Tom and we both loved her to pieces.

Damned if I didn't get a letter today saying that she's decided not to come back when her maternity leave is over. Grrrrrr

SaveComment26Like
Comments (26)
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
morz8

That surprises me, you'd think any person, male or female, who had put in the effort to get a medical degree would know what they wanted to do and work a family around it.

My most wonderful doctor ever had a baby, just one. She was I think the brightest woman I've ever met and did nothing but good things for me. Her husband was a writer and worked mostly from home so was there (along with a nanny) the years their daughter was young.

Sadly (for me), she went into a branch of neuro endrocrine that excludes me. She was asked to head the department of pituitary tumors at a large hospital and jumped at the chance to fill that need - and my pituitary is just fine ;0)

I hope you come up with someone who's a good fit for you Jas. I'm rowing the same boat right now, no primary care doctor only specialists and no one to call for in between stuff.

1 Like Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
stacey_mb

I have a female doctor and I like her very much. I first began going to her when she worked in our area, but she moved her office several times, and although she is more distant from us now, I still see her. She had a couple of pregnancies during which she took maternity leave and I was very grateful that she continued to work after that time.

1 Like Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sushipup1

My husband's "lost" two doctors that way, to maternity leave. OTOH, we're old enough now to have lost several doctors and dentists over the years to retirement and even sudden death. There are no guarantees!

2 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Olychick

Well, in an ideal world, women wouldn't be the only ones deciding to stay home and take care of their babies, so you wouldn't be holding that against women doctors.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
maifleur03

This and sushi's comment about loosing doctors is why I never looked for a personal relationship. If you do sooner or later you will have to find another. I want one that listens. Acts professionally. Does not have a superior attitude that they know better than anyone especially you about what your body is doing. Last time I had one of those I knew something was wrong with my chest. The x-ray showed pneumonia. He did call and apologized but just nope.

I think my current one is either my 9th or 10th. Most have died or retired.

1 Like Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Elmer J Fudd

I think it's sexist to think of any provider's gender as being relevant to a choice. I've had good and bad doctors of all genders and now have ones I'm extremely satisfied with. What matters to me is their skill and caring attitude.

As with sushipup, we've been through all types of unexpected changes. Retirement, moving (spousal job changes too), a decision to stop practicing, even one who closed his practice and joined a very high priced concierge group. Our health is good and we couldn't justify a very high annual fee just for immediate access so we let him go.

My primary care doc right now is a female and she's great. I chose her for her background and not anything else, and have kept her for her apparent ability, attitude and caring manner for patients. I don't see gender when I think of her, not at all.



4 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
share_oh

I had a wonderful OB-GYN who left her practice to adopt a baby. I was sad! I thought about how much schooling she went thru to be a dr and had built a really great practice. But I know for myself, in a not so illustrious career, I gave mine up for a while to stay home when I had babies. So I really couldn't fault her. But I did miss her!

I still prefer women dr's though. : )

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
chisue

I hear you, Jasdip. I had a good female primary for about a year until she wanted to spend more time being Mom. Our present primary is female, but neither of us is crazy about her -- too many patients, and she missed seeing my MM looming. I like my (female) oncologist -- and her superior, also female and one of the top in her field.

Our last primary sent me home from his office coughing so much I nearly fainted in the stairwell to parking. He called me in the hospital the next afternoon, saying, "Oh, I thought you'd end up there." (You don't forget that kind of conversation, even if you're exhausted with pneumonia!)

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
caflowerluver

I prefer female doctors over males. It is because of personal reasons and I am not being sexist. I had a very bad experience with a male doctor when I was 13 and it left an emotional scar for a very long time. Maybe you should pick a female doctor that is middle aged so don't have the childbearing issue. I seemed to have got lucky that way with my last 2 doctors so have stayed with them over 10 years.

2 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
wildchild2x2

The general public tends to think that people who get medical degrees are somehow different than the rest of us. Having the academic capacity to get a medical degree don't mean one is necessarily smarter, often just more driven to achieve. But the achievement is the goal and when they reach it they flounder in what to do with it. Others go in with the finest of intentions, hoping to be the best doctor's ever but then real life hits and they have to reevaluate their priorities. Just like normal everyday people who work in other fields


My PCP has practiced for several decades, in that time he told me he has has had one family vacation. One. He has several kids in college and he is at work 6 days a week.


Then there are the ones that get the degree for the money and status they hope it will get them. These are the ones who never actually practice medicine a day past their internships. They go into research positions, write books and papers and some do little but crunch numbers. Our government and public health departments are full of those and for some that goal is to do good, however many do it for the power and to achieve fame. They may have started out with good intentions, just like many who join police departments do but like the police many are quickly corrupted within the system. Those are the ones that have our practicing physicians' hands tied in doing what they do best, take care of their patients, heal them and keep them well.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Lars

My primary care doctor is male, and I've been seeing him for about 20 years now. The other two doctors in his office are female - one of them I like and the other one I do not trust at all. She misdiagnosed my sleep apnea as HIV, which I do not have, and that greatly upset me.

My doctor and my supplemental Medicare insurance SCAN are affiliated with UCLA, and so I have to see UCLA doctors if I want SCAN to pay the 20% that Medicare does not pay. About half of the doctors at UCLA are female, and I have not known of any of them who left for maternity reasons. The UCLA Hospital is ranked #2 in California (after University of San Francisco Hospital) and is in the top 10 nationally. Unfortunately, they do not have branches or doctors in the Palm Springs/Coachella Valley area, and so I have to go back to Los Angeles to keep my appointments.

If we move to the Valley permanently, I will have to change doctors - and supplementary medical insurance. My doctor said that there are plenty of good doctors in Palm Springs - there are just none in his medical group. It would be nice if UCLA would open a branch here. The nearest hospital to me now is The Cat Clinic, but I won't be going there, since I do not have a cat.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sephia_wa

Wow, how do you mix up sleep apnea and HIV? That would alarm me too.

2 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
arcy_gw

I would have to applaud any educated person who comes to the knowledge of the importance of raising their own children. In fact I have often thought the opposite also, my doctor is a mother and I wonder how she doesn't realize nothing and no one is more worth her time than he. As it is now the majority of children are raised in institutional day care settings--when I look around I do not see that working for us.

3 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
ravencajun Zone 8b TX

I have had wonderful primary care physicians of both sexes. My concern when looking for one is where they went to school, what their background is, and how successful they are, and patient reviews. I usually become friends with the ones we really like. I absolutely love my current primary care provider, who is a female with a young son, and she is divorced. She calls us her in town parents. She actually offered for us to move in with her during the time we were homeless after the Harvey flood.

But our primary we had in Dallas was a man, and we were very good friends with him and his wife who was also a Dr in the same office. We were actually neighbors which we did not know at first. I didn't think we could possibly find someone who even came close to him but luckily we hit the jackpot.

2 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Elmer J Fudd

"Having the academic capacity to get a medical degree don't mean one is necessarily smarter, often just more driven to achieve. "

Most people think of "having academic ability" and "having smarts" as synonyms. I know plenty of people, friends and family, who have been successful applicants and graduates of uber-competitive academic programs who can't be described as being anything other than smart and academically capable, because that's the pool of competitors you need to rise above and the skills needed to succeed. And others who weren't as successful, not to anyone's surprise, who many regarded as being a bit too optimistic about their abilities and chances.

Maybe what you have in mind is that someone who has the skills to learn and become competent in intellectually demanding and difficult subject areas may not have the sense to get out of the rain, invest $10,000 wisely, or assemble a child's sandbox and for that, I'll agree.

2 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Lars

Sephia, I had been complaining about having no energy, dizzy spells, and blacking out while working at my computer. I was also aware that I had a snoring problem. Finally my primary care doctor sent me for a sleep test, and when I filled out the questionnaire, the technician told me I had all the symptoms of sleep apnea, which is not curable, but he did tell me that it is treatable. At first I did not like the idea of having to wear a sleep mask every night, but I do it because it is the only thing that has helped. During my sleep test, I stopped breathing 94 times in one hour. Drastic is considered to be 30 times in an hour.

3 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Elmer J Fudd

"I would have to applaud any educated person who comes to the knowledge of the importance of raising their own children"

Working parents raise their own children, your bias is showing. Many so-called "educated persons" and others simply do not find being full time stay-at-home parents to be enough intellectual stimulation. Sometimes part time work or other activities outside the house can fill the bill.

It isn't 1955 anymore. The long outdated model of wife at home, husband at work, evolved at a time when there weren't equal educational OR employment opportunities for women as for men. Women were as much as locked out of the more rewarding and challenging (and intellectually stimulating) jobs. That isn't the case now and hasn't been for a long time. But it's true that whether the burden falls on the husband, the wife, or both, being a working parent is very stressful and demanding.

3 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
joann_fl

this is our changing world. Try to keep a hairdresser, that's almost impossible also.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Lars

I agree that keeping a hairdresser is more difficult, and I always hated having to break in new ones, which is why I started cutting my own hair. That, and to avoid insults from hairdressers who did not want to cut my hair they way I want.

1 Like Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
wildchild2x2

Maybe what you have in mind is that someone who has the skills to learn and become competent in intellectually demanding and difficult subject areas may not have the sense to get out of the rain, invest $10,000 wisely, or assemble a child's sandbox and for that, I'll agree.


Yes.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Jasdip

My previous male dr, I've had for 30 years but I wasn't that overly thrilled with him. It's impossible to find a new dr, if you already have one.

This one took the time with us, explained things, was compassionate and we didn't feel rushed. That's important to me.

1 Like Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
dedtired

My niece is a doctor. She returned to work after her two maternity leaves. Her oldest just graduated from college.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
hallngarden

We’ve had many doctors throughout the years. At this point in life, we are so blest with great doctors. The way I judge a doctor is noticing if they are listening to what I am saying. Hubs and I always make our appointments together. We have two doctors we see , you would think they had nowhere else to go when they sit down with us. We are so blest to be this age and have excellent care. A doctor friend of ours said if you will take the time to listen to your patient, they diagnose themselves.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
chisue

One of our best primaries claimed that new doctors tend to try this, then that, then *as a last resort*, listen to the patient.

My late MIL was an RN and served as a hospital administrator during part of the war years. What she didn't know about the business -- at the time -- wasn't worth knowing. You do have to remember the times. For instance, she learned to call a doctor's wife "Mrs. Doctor" (Surname) .

One of my DH's fraternity brothers was a brilliant student and only child of affluent parents. Once he got his medical degree, he made the terrifying discovery that if he went into practice, he'd have to have ongoing physical contact with a wide range of people...sick people! Research beckoned.

MDs run in our DIL's family. Grandpa was an MD. Four of his five sons are MDs. I've lost track of how many of DIL's first cousins are MDs, and her middle sister is an MD. (All are specialists.)




Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
C Marlin

My female Internist works part time for the reasons stated above. Since I'm healthy and don't see a need for immediate access to her only, I'm okay with her part time status.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
ci_lantro

There are a lot of rolling stone docs around my area. Here today, moved on, retired or dead tomorrow. Then there is that other breed, the traveling doctors. Fly in & work a week or two & then fly back home for a week or two. Also traveling nurses but they seem to work longer stints, like 6 mos. Then they bop out for other parts. One RN who attended my husband when he was in the hospital follows the season. He was here in WI for the summer and was headed south for winter weather.

Save    
Browse Gardening and Landscaping Stories on Houzz See all Stories
Housekeeping Three More Magic Words to Help the Housekeeping Get Done
As a follow-up to "How about now?" these three words can help you check more chores off your list
Full Story
Winter Gardening 6 Reasons I’m Not Looking Forward to Spring
Not kicking up your heels anticipating rushes of spring color and garden catalogs? You’re not alone
Full Story
Life 10 Things Around My Home That I’m Thankful For
A designer shares the comforts big and small that she is grateful for
Full Story
Pristine Acres is committed to offering the highest-quality, most professional landscape design/installation... Read More
With the help of our experienced experts, remodeling will no longer be a hassle for you to handle. Virginia... Read More