Thanks for your replies. Pam, the scenario that you described above in regards to 'charity '+ fund raising auctions', is exactly one of the types of pro bono work that I am being asked to contribute to more and more these days from a variety of clients across the county. I do see your point about how it can work out to be beneficial on both fronts, ie; leading to more work and good community business relations. Guess I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by how many of these auctions that I have been asked to contribute to so far this year ( and it's only Feb ! ) as well as doing some other more indepth work for a couple of other social programs and causes that I feel passionate about that are actually a bit more related to me on a more personal level. Those last few words , " more related to me on a more personal level, also is part of my conflict that gets added to the mounting pile of requests. Many of the requests for 'donated time or money' is for school programs from clients that are in $outhern Marin, which is so not my school district even if I was to have kids. And although I feel sad that any school kids despite their soicial economic situation does not have adequate funds for extra curriculum activities I am also conflicted by the mismanagement of school funds in the first place ( not in all school districts but certainly in many of my local districts ) I can tell by writing this , 'that there is more too it', than just donating more time and money than I have available, it also goes much deeper than that and this is something that I am rustling with as well. Thanks again for the replies and letting me vent, it actually caused me to think a little deeper and come up with some solutions when faced with more requests. Michelle

Hello again username 5 :-) My sympathies to you for the quack grass. I am sure you have heard the old saying....about changing what you can change and accepting what you can't and the wisdom to know the difference? Well...I agree with you that accepting quack grass is the wisdow to know the difference...lol. I am not sure I don't have it in the lawn, but if I do, I don't think it is everywhere. The one area I think it is in is adjacent to this vegetable area and I am not growing grass there anymore but installing a walkway with flat stones and creeping thymes between it. I am going to mulch that heavily before I do though and maybe let it sit there a whole season before I try laying stone. And I am going to plant the thyme very closely to get it to fill in fast. I am hoping that I may have killed 90% of it this year, in that area, because it has had cardboard and bark mulch covering it for three months and it has only rained twice in two months. I had another area of the yard, that I wanted to put a mulched sitting area in and I left clear plastic covering it for 2 years before we mulched it and put a sitting area there. We barely saw a weed for about 4 years after that, and just started getting them back this year, so we cardboard and bark mulched again and so far haven't had to weed this season. That area didn't have the quack grass in it though. I wanted to use the plastic technique for the quack grass but didn't want to injure the neighbor's trees. So my soil is close to ideal..hmmm...that is good to know. If I just had full sun and about an acre more of land..lol. This land used to be farmland in the 1940s. So I don't have to add lime to the soil for the veggies, right? I seem to do ok with the veggies. Last year was the worst due to horrible weather all season. Rain, cloudy, no breezes, humidity, heat..everything bad and nothing good. I got diseases on my tomatoes that I never got before. Thankfully this year was better. Even the dryness was ok for the tomatoes and peppers with supplemental watering. We also took out a 120 ft of overgrown shrubs along the lot line in the spring which really opened up the yard to air circulation. We planted new shrubs, but it will be awhile before they are that overcrowded. [g] I have one veggie bed near my back door that is on the other side of the yard. It is raised with cement blocks and instead of soil, I piled half finished compost and shredded leaves in it. I put in a couple of kale plants last spring and when it got hot, I pulled them except one that I wanted to leave to go to seed. After I collected the seed, I just left it there when I got busy. I had parsley in the bed too that I wanted to try to winter over. I put more shredded leaves around them and I was so happy to see that the parsley came back this year and has gone to seed. Love when it does that. The beneficial insects love the parsley flowers and I love the seed. The Kale plant, started growing again in the spring so I just left it, it flowered and went to seed again and I got busy again..lol .... and didn't pull it. I was so surprised to see it start growing again after it went to seed, and right now I have a kale plant producing very nice dark green leaves and it is filling up about a 4x4ft area of that bed. No covering either. We juice greens all year, so I am glad to have that plant with no work for it, right next to the back door. What is YMMV? [g] Okay well...you are right, nothing is written in stone. I may try using the lasagna bed technique and I can always add something else in another year if "disappearing" soil becomes a problem. Yes, I am growing all annual crops. How did you find the excavator that brought you in a truckload of soil? Sandy loam sounds great! I am not going to plant up that whole 35x35ft area with veggies. I am going to fill 4 raised beds that are 4x4ft. and I want to construct a structure to house compost and grow squashes and pumpkins etc up the structure. I will have a lot of just mulched area between the beds. WOW! Those silver maple roots are amazing~ ! I am SO sorry for all the trouble they have been to you. If we ever move, I am going to remember that. We had a neighbor 3 yards over just cut down every tree in his backyard. Why oh Why couldn't the people in the next yard do that?! LOL Oh, well, we aren't going to be moving anytime soon, so you are right, just have to make my peace with them. I thought maybe every fall, I should take a shovel and just push it into the ground around the perimeter of the beds to sever any small roots that are trying to get a foothold. I already found out first hand how they will go for anything raised. I have had them fill up a compost pile that I left too long, and have had them in my veggie beds over the years. What can you do...is right! Not very many people have the "perfect" growing environment. Everybody has something. Thanks so much for talking this all over with me. I am much more certain about what I need to do next year, and I can get started getting ready for next year, this fall. I rarely come to this forum. Especially this summer as I barely had a veggie garden. Had some plastic totes from Lowe's with 3 tomato plants, and a pepper plant. Two zuchinni and two eggplants in a bed in the ground...which btw was near that area that I mulched and was FULL of quack grass all season and nothing grew well. I didn't get one eggplant. The container plants grew much better. Two zuchinni were TOO much..lol. Next year, I have been told one is enough. ;-) Oh, btw, how much lawn do you have that has the quack grass in it? Have you tried that corn product that is supposed to suppress weeds? Adam

I have a 10 year old boy and I have hear some of the same things you are talking about. I don't remember even being interested in boys at 10, but since I turned 40 this year, I realize that was back in the dark ages and everything is different now : ) LOL. I was shocked when my son started coming home and talking about so and so are going together and so and so broke up. I tried to joke about it and say "so where are they going together, where are they going?" Yes, I know, that is very uncool. LOL I just try and listen to him when he is talking with his friends in the car or when I ask him what is new at school and his friends. He recently "broke up" with his girlfriend. I asked him what happened and he said that she was too possessive and he wanted to be with his friends. I had to bite my lip from laughing and I just told him that he was right. He has lots of time for girlfriends and now was the time to have fun with his friends. The little girlfriend called our house at least 6 times from the time school was out until we got home at 6:00, leaving a message only once and then continuing to call and handing up when the voice mail picked up. I told my son that it was OK that she call, but that he should tell her that once was enough and not to call until after 7:00 when we were home and finished with dinner. She didn't listen very well and I was glad when she stopped calling. I was almost ready to call her parents. I think you are right in talking with her about what is going on and encourage her to stand up for what she wants and doesn't want even though other kids may be doing it. This is such a hard lesson for kids, but I think it builds strong character which will be so important later on. Kids are growing up so fast these days. We can do everything in our power to slow that down, but I am not sure it is doing much good. I hate to see where this is all leading to. Good luck

Hey Kelly! I'll give you feedback on yours... Please give me feedback also on mine :-) https://www.houzz.com/discussions/4907784/what-do-you-think-of-this-layout-w-in-law-suite#n=2 The obvious choice in your plan is to swap Bedroom 2 with Kitchen. You're trying to get the large living space integrated with the kitchen to achieve "openness". In the words of my realtor (volume: > 90 closings / year), "People hang out in the kitchen these days". If you're doing a remodel, this is probably the cheapest solution. If you are building new... then read on: Once you swap the bedroom with the kitchen, then you have two problems left: - Garage door into the house enters in face of a staircase. This is awkward and uninviting. - Bedroom 2 is now too far from the baths. This is just... awkward. Solution: See attached photo below.