Oh you bad girl! Let us know where they lock you up, and we can bake a cake with a file in it. (LOL)!!!

Don't forget your mask and hand sanitizer.

Go into witness protection and come back here with your new name. Maybe weedarita so we know who you are.

Post your prison address, I'll mail you a cake with a metal file. :)

Nickel, just now noticed you offered a cake before I did. Guess Rita is going to have two files, one for each hand. :)

Don't forget your TP.

Do you like jumpsuits lol?

Hope you look good in orange!

Lockdown or locked up counts as sheltering in place. LOL

try to smuggle out a note to let us know how you are doing.

will you have a choice between orange jumpsuit vs black / white stripes?

if not, just refuse to go...

But it’s so easy to resolve this issue. The Feds take prepaid debit cards.

This is obvious, but I feel the need to state this is said “with tongue in cheek”

I've always liked a good black and white stripe...hmmm.

I got that call yesterday! They haven't shown up yet. I am hiding out in my house, shhhh don't tell them! 🙄😊

Ooooh, yes! Stripes...vertical please.

I wonder if you'll meet the people phishing our Amazon account -- or the ones who sent DH a letter on Bank of Singapore letterhead.

Because any successful criminal uses her SS#. No doubt on the off-shore bank account. Or did you use it to rent a you-store for the stolen artwork?

No, it’s okay. Go to the drugstore and buy a Visa gift card, probably $750. You have to pay cash for it. And send it in to them. Easy peasy, and you’re back in the good graces.

JK!!! DON’T DO THAT!

I know I’m not supposed to, but sometimes I play along. The call ends with them telling me off, and me having a good laugh.

LOL

No problem. I know a Nigerian prince who will send you a million dollars for bail.

Rita....before you go, I wanted you to know I made the eggplant rollitini for Mother's Day. I figured since it was my day, I get to eat what I want. Thought if I told DH it was eggplant, he wouldn't eat it. So when he asked, I just said it's what I wanted and since it's Mother's Day I get to decide. He actually like it even after I told him what it was. The greatest thing, for years I put the tomatoes through a colander. I thought I was in 7th heaven when I bought a food mill. At my age, time is of the essence so I was thrilled to use the immersion blender. It made life so much easier. The sauce was done in a few minutes and because I wasn't throwing all the pulp away, it made so much more. I can't thank you enough. Why I never thought of that is beyond me.

Maybe while you're locked up, you can get a haircut. :-)))

This thread is so much fun and such a lift as we all got a chance to fool around.

Georgysmom, I'm so pleased you tried and liked the recipe. And getting a haircut might just be worth going to prison, OMG it's so awful.

OMG! Did you forget to sanitize southing? Forget and go outside without your mask? Stand 5' next to someone? You naughty, naughty girl! You can always go incognito and get one of those HU-XXXXX ID's and no one will ever suspect.

Thank you all. This was a most delightful jaunt and I actually have a smiling face. It feels nice!

Don't feel alone. There is a warrant out for my arrest, and they will pick me up unless I send a man from the IRS $5,000 in gift cards.

Hey Marilyn, we might wind up as roommates, you poor, pitiful thing.

Well, technically you would be cellies lol. Send me your off shore bank account number, I'll manage your account while you're "elsewhere". Really, I'll take good care of it. 😎

I volunteer to post bail for you! I'll just transfer the money from my International PayPal account. Oh wait, they're threatening to suspend it!

Now how they're going to do that, I wonder.....since I don't have an International PayPal account?

I'll send my $2000 in bitcoin to you for bail. That guy who emailed me will have to wait for his lol

At least you are getting notice. Jail cells need plenty of tic before they are livable. You can go shopping for some nice bright patterned sheets, under-cot storage, a little Ikea desk and one of those cube storage systems for your clothes. And a few nice houseplants. Don't forget a little hand held bell so you can summon the jailer to bring you extra snacks when it is time for TV watching.

Do you have a good recipe for toilet wine? You can trade it for cigarettes. :-)

Y'all are nutz!!😂😂😂

Hahaha! You reminded me of a meme I saw the other day.

Next time you get a spam call, say quietly to the person on the phone, "It's done but there's blood everywhere!"