(((Trailrunner))) I am so sorry your adherence to quarantine is causing you additional problems. Difficulties you don’t need at this time. Even though I’m on a different island, there may be some way I can help. We have a network of friends throughout the islands and relatives on the big island. Please feel free to PM me if you need/want to reach out.

Garrett clearly developed a deep connection to the Islands. I can picture his enthusiasm as he shared his Aloha with those he loved most - taking you and DH to those beautiful places that filled him to overflowing. And unbeknownst to him, gifting you with Hali’a Aloha, cherished, loving memories, that you will hold in your heart forever. Malama pono.

Sending Sympathy & a warm hug. I know the pain you are feeling. It is so nice you had some comfort with your son in his last days.

One of the things I received from someone when my husband died very unexpectedly at age 47, which provided me with some comfort was this, from The Little Prince:

All men have stars, but they are not the same things for different people.
For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are
no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars,
they are problems... But all these stars are silent. You-You alone will
have stars as no one else has them... In one of the stars I shall be
living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all
the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night..You, only
you, will have stars that can laugh! And when your sorrow is comforted
(time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me...
You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you
will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure... It will be as
if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little
bells that knew how to laugh...Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,
The Little Prince

I have no words to offer except to tell you how incredibly sorry I am for you and for your family. I will keep you in my prayers for comfort.

My heart breaks for you, but swells from the compassion and strength you have Garrett, and with the compassion and love sent you by your friends here in the Garden. After reading your update I was listening to There's a Light in the Hallway by the Pentatonics and it was too much, I wept. May his memory be a blessing to you always.

I am so sorry for your unimaginable loss.

Oh C, I'm so very sorry.

I'm so sorry. I have tears for you, your son, and your family.

Trailrunner, your description of "swimming" reminds me of the poem "Breaths" by Senegalese story-teller Birago Diop who collected stories of the Wolof people. It is too long to reproduce here, but the key point is to "listen more often to things than to beings." The dead are "in the rustling tree, in the murmuring wood, in the flowing water, in the still water, in the lonely place, in the crowd." May you always be able to connect to Garrett through water and find comfort there.

Trailrunner, I wish I could give you more than just virtual ((((hugs)))) right now. Keep holding on to the good memories. And for the rest of your quarantine and the coming weeks and month, take it one step at a time, as slow as you need to.

My heart has been sending you prayers of comfort ever since I read your last couple of posts, C.. Like us all here, I wish that I could reach through this internet to give you heartfelt hugs, my longtime medical listening ear, and any wise words that might help. Back 25 years ago, we came very close to losing our 2 month preemie daughter. I still, VERY vividly, recall the fear and the pain then (it never really leaves and can come back in a heartbeat). But, I know, that this pain is still somewhat small when compared to losing a child of many years! My heart hurts for you! All I can do is continue to send out prayers for you to (eventually) find some comfort. That you were there to beautifully aid in your darling son’s passing was a blessing. For him, as well as for you. Hang on to that knowledge!!! And, hold onto the thought that he is now soaring through an amazing afterlife, and all it’s beauty. As one who has also lived and loved all things that abide in our glorious oceans, I can only imagine the world that awaits us who identify and love it so much. In my mind, death is just a leap into another life.

I am so very sorry, Trailrunner. But reading about your last gift to him, your time together, that was just beautiful and so touching. Thinking of you and your family.

It's hard to read through the tears. I am so touched by your 'swimming' with your son at this time when he needed you most. He is very blessed to have had you be able to move heaven and earth to be there with him to gently guide him to peace. His pain is gone, thanks to his loving parents. I'm so sorry.

I have no words but my heart goes out to you and your family.

As a mother of 2 sons, my heart is absolutely breaking for you. What a beautiful gift you gave Garrett, guiding him peacefully through his last moments in his beloved Ocean. May you find comfort in your beautiful memories of time shared with your precious son.

I keep thinking of how you found your way back to us here recently. Maybe the timing was very fortunate to receive these hopefully healing words, virtual hugs, and prayers from all of us who wish we could perfectly comfort you with a real touch or hug during this difficult time. May Garett live on in the hearts and memories of all those who loved him so fiercely.

I am so sorry. I am sorry that it didn't work out as you hoped. I am so glad that it did work out for you to be there when you were needed. I hope that the problems now work themselves out. I just hope that you have as smooth of a path as possible and remember that you can always come here and everyone will be here for you.

Please know people here who have commented are still thinking of you and Garrett and praying for you as well, holding you in our hearts.

Caroline, those are magnificent. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️

Trailrunner, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope it gives you comfort to know you were there with your boy at the end to give him comfort and peace, just as you did everything you could do in this life to love and protect him always.

Love those pictures. I can almost hear the quiet of the world below the water. There is joy and a sense of peace in these images of Garrett.

Trailrunner, my heart is broken for you. Holding you close in thought and prayer now and in the days to come. I am so, so sorry.

Although Garett is wearing a snorkel mask in that photo, somehow you can just tell he is gazing with wonder upon the sight of that sea turtle. That tells me everything about him.....

💚

That was such a descriptive writing about Garett, Caroline. Thank you for sharing it. I am so sorry he had to leave you when he was still so young. Hope you are getting some rest while trying to do all the other things that need doing. My DH also has a real connection to Hawaii, & I see that in your Garett.

Thank you everyone. Garett got certified in SCUBA when he was 30. He’s travelled the world and been so lucky to SCUBA and snorkel in some wondrous places.

You will never fully know how much sharing this amazing son of ours has meant to me. All of the above pictures were taken by his dear friend James off of the Waimea coast on the Big Island. They worked together at the hospital in Waimea. James is heartbroken.

I still remember the feelings and awe, the first time I SCUBA dived. I went and got certified soon after. Haven't had the opportunity to do it much once kids came into the picture. I got to do some beautiful dives in Maui and snorkeling with our kids on the Big Island. I can understand exactly the feelings that drew Garett to follow this passion.

Caroline, my DH was able to get certified too & did the night dive to see the Mantas. We have a really cool video of it. It wasn't my thing, but I do love snorkeling & the turtles!! It's easy to see how Garett developed his love for this.

Oh, your sweet boy-turned-man! What a beautiful tribute to an obviously beautiful and special soul. Thank you for sharing a small bit of Garrett with us.

C, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family find peace as you hold Garett close in your hearts. You are a wonderful, selfless, loving mother. Despite your pain, you not only brought Garett into this world, but you helped him transition to the next. Your eloquence has helped your garden web friends know your wonderful son. As expressed here by so many, we are here for you and hold you and your family dear.

What beautiful pictures. Thank you.

The pictures and your tribute are so touching. No one knows a boy/man like his mother. That relationship has intricacies known only to the two of them. Sharing the pictures, that part of his essence, is opening a window for us to know a tiny bit about who you've lost. You have been such a big part of this group for so long, we are all heartbroken for you.

"He was kind and loving and stubborn and abrasive." That brought a big smile to my face and I also laughed a bit.

The second picture of Garett underwater is frame worthy.

God bless, C.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear son. May the memories of Garett and the love of your family surround you and bring you strength and peace in the days ahead.

Thank you for sharing these lovely memories and tribute with us.

Peace to all of the loves in Garrett's life.

Oh, Caroline, your posts break my heart. I wish you comfort and the peace you gave to Garrett. There is no better gift that a mother could offer to her child.

I feel so touched by these beautiful stories and snap shots of a life so well lived. The length of Garret's life was far too short but the mark he left is large enough to touch multiple hearts of people who never even met him. thank you for sharing his magnificent spirit with us.

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I hope your beautiful memories bring some peace and comfort. May every thought and mention of Garett serve as prayer from our hearts to God's ear. xo

We are home. I am so glad our daughter and the babies came with us. I couldn’t have stood the quiet just yet. The sorrow is so great I can’t take it all in at once. Having them here let’s me pull back and just be in this moment . Thank you again for the support and loving thoughts that you all have expressed. It has helped so much to have you here with me. c ( Trailrunner)

I am so glad you are home with your daughter and grandchildren. I thank goodness for that measure of comfort.

Thinking of you Trailrunner 🌹

Thanks for letting us know you are home. Having your daughter and grand babies with you will be wonderful therapy. I can’t imagine walking and living through this without support of loved ones.

Glad to hear you are home, Trail. There can be nothing more healing than the joys of new life in your grandchildren. I'm imagining them baking with you!

So glad you are home now and have your family around you.

I just want to thank you for sharing this time with us. Please continue to do so. We are here to hear of the highs and lows and will continue to give our virtual support.

You and Garett have crossed my mind so often. I’m glad to hear you are safe at home after this long emotional and physical journey. It’s nice that the brands are with you. Something to bring the occasional smile to your face.

Roarah is so right. Garett has touched our lives too and will be remembered. I can only imagine how profound your sorrow is and I am so sorry. I am glad you are home and that your daughter is with you.

Thank you for checking in, Caroline. I, too, am so glad your DD & your precious grandchildren are there with you & your DH. Thinking of you often....