How do you stay motivated? Well lizzardly, first, you've got to get your priorities straight...See, husbands come and husbands go, but how often do you see a free bathtub you could make that pond out of you've always wanted?!!! Think about it..... Just kidding, of course. I know how you feel. My DH and I are opposite in the same way y'all are. Have you ever read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? It can help you understand what he really means. It can help you communicate with him better too. It's hard to give advice without knowing both of you, and it makes a difference the way he says it too, but the thing that helped me is- don't take it personally. Think of it as if a friend or neighbor had said the same thing. That way you get all the other issues out of the way and fast foreward to the problem at hand. Keep believing in yourself. Don't let him squish your ideas or convince you it's a waste of time. You were working, plus you did all that work around the house, you earned the right to play with a little junk and discover the creative side of yourself without a big hassle, now that you have a little time, before you die. Guys do like to think they're being helpful, maybe you could find some project for him to work on. And sometimes they are right. There may actually be too many tree roots in the yard to sink a bathtub in. Maybe he could help you figure out how to build a raised platform or partially bury your pond or put planted pots or rocks around the bathtub or make a pond out of something else. Keep an open mind. Sometimes you just have to ignore the nay-sayers and forge ahead. I like to make my own mistakes, too. Otherwise I'll always be thinking something could have been different. But he didn't help when you were working on the house, why does he feel like you need his advice now that you want to enjoy your self a little. Does he have a hobby/interest? You may have to do some things when he's busy with something else. Now, what actually motivates me is- wanting to see what something will look like. Also, I want to use the things I've collected and carried around all these years, and clear out the rest. I find as I get older, it's better to get up and get interested in sometning rather then sit in a chair and think about how bad I feel, and be thankful I still can, quite a motivation. It is very comforting in more ways than one, to have something to work on. I like happy endings. Hope you get that pond and I hope you learn to play nice together. Hang in there. Donna

gobruno! i decided i would change my mind on the (not very inexpensive) sofas i was about to order ...when i was on the phone with the salesperson! there i was, notes in hand looking at my fabric and layout and WHAM! all of a sudden i heard myself say, "let me call you back!" and i was back online looking at more sofas. and then i did it again ...changed my mind on the banquettes for the breakfast room AND THEN i moved on to my BED! it's a really good thing those are the only pieces i'm getting right now otherwise i'd be nowhere. i'm sure i am settled on the furniture for now and will order NEXT WEEK. ...i think. and i was just thinking this past week i should learn to sew! i'm not convinced i'll be good enough to want to sew my own curtains (always had them made and professionally hung) but then i tell myself "i'm not stupid. surely i can operate a little machine with a foot petal" ...but i have no patience which could impede my ability to take my time and do a good job. at least this was my experience when i had "home ec" in the seventh grade. we made gingham book bags and embroidered our initials on them. THAT is the extent of my experience with a sewing machine. old dog, new tricks? i dunno... how's the sewing going for you???

Two years I was at least 30+ lbs overweight. I just got sick and tired of not being able to breath when I would go out and do some gardening. Plus my back use to ache. I remember watching a program on tv about reversing your diet. Well, that is exactly what I started to do. I started to eat half my dinner and save the rest for breakfast. and I also started to walk. I use to walk around our firehall parking lot to start because that was flat and easy for me. I drove my car around first and seen that the circle was 0.1 mile. Well, I would walk around 10 times to equal 1 mile. Not fast, but a little more than a slow walk. Within 3 weeks I lost 5 lbs. I was absolutely thrilled. I found out that by eating a bigger breakfast you weren't hungry for snacks by mid morning. For lunch I would eat a can of soup and dinner I really wasn't hungry for a large meal. It's been over 2 years now and I lost 31 lbs and have kept it off. I didn't go out and buy any special foods. I just ate what I normally would eat but I just ate more of it in the morning. I do snack on peanuts and I have yogurt as my 3:00 snack. I did give up my doritos, fritos and cupcakes because I wasn't hungry for them anymore. I found out this is my lifestyle change because I can live like this the rest of my life. What I like about this is when we do go to parties or weddings, I eat whatever I want because I know I'm not going to gain 30 lbs in one night. On Monday, I'm back on schedule. My great husband did buy me a threadmill for rainy and cold days, but if you don't have one buy a walking DVD. They're just as good as walking outdoors. I use mine when it's raining. I hope this helps you. Linda from PA

Mary, My intention in telling you this, I hope you can see his side a little better, because I think I might just get it. I just got my degree (political science with CJA as an addtional major) after 23 years of attending a university! Yea! Hurray! Finally. Needless to say, I am not interested in being a police officer any more at the ripe old age of 40-ahem, er something. I am too old. And yes, you need to be a young spry kind of person to wrangle bad guys. So I keep thinking to myself, what can I do with this freakin' degree? You know what you can do with a CJ? Parole officer, probation officer, police officer, or a corrections officer. That's it. So with his blown knee, he can't do the most lucrative and interesting one, police officer. I can see he'd have no interest in doing the others as he'd be dealing day-in-day-out with those society has found too hard to handle. Not just kicking them into a jail. Or maybe he hadn't thought about the others. I am still trying to brainstorm for myself, so maybe he is too (aside--I wish I could be a detective without being a beat officer. That would be interesting!!!). So basically, he's lost everything he's worked for, for the past few years. And has to start from scratch.