Yep girls are so dramatic. I've had exchange students and every time we've hosted two girls together there has been problems. The boys were so much easier, have only had one boy at a time, though, but I have a feeling it wouldn't be the same as the girls.

I raised 3 daughters so my radar went up right away. I hope DG can take this in stride.

So what happened? The mothers got involved and made sure that the girls held to the 6:00 commitment?

I raised two daughters. For me I found it was the meanness that caused the drama. I had issues with the moms who couldn't parent their daughters so that they did the right thing.

Unfortunately there also was a mom that was mean spirited and the daughter learned that this behavior was acceptable.

I rarely agree with Elmer but this is one time I totally do. Yes, I have had a daughter. I now have a granddaughter. Unfortunately, a few of my daughter's good friends had drama queens for mothers and yes, it came right through to the daughters.

I just set limits and if these people didn't respect them, then the invitation was withdrawn. It's SO much easier if the parents can be relied on to do the sensible thing and not give in to their children.

Pretty much universal in what goes on a lot. Elmer, you are right for the most part. The other part is that sometimes the mothers aren’t even clued in to what the kids are planning and plotting, which is even worse. Just letting the 13 year-olds manage their own time is a disaster. The kids certainly aren’t taking into account what is convenient for the parents, or in this case the ones hosting.

I hope the weekend works out and you all have fun. It gets better as they get older except the mean girls usually stay mean.

I'm just so glad I had boys, My poor parents had four!!! daughters and two sons. It's probably best I had boys, I don't do nor do I accept drama.

I taught middle school for years before getting smart and moving to high school. Mean girls unlimited in middle school. Plus I raised 2 daughters. If the girls were mean they usually had social climbing mothers. ick!

"flaky mothers can tend to have flaky daughters. Dramatic mothers tend to have dramatic daughters. With-it and "S***t" together mothers have with-it and "s**t" together daughters."

^^ Times 1000!!!

I knew something was up when DGD called this afternoon to ask if we could leave at 8 instead because the friends have activities. I said fine,but now the real story has become apparent. Well, turns out that the two friends are being rude and inconsiderate. surprise, surprise! They, but not my granddaughter, were invited to a classmates end of year party that they want to attend before going to the riverhouse.

So your granddaughter called to ask you if an 8 pm departure was okay and you said that it was.

Sorry, but, what’s the problem? Have you never gone to more than party or event on the same evening, say at Christmastime?

Thank goodness I didn't have any daughters. Yes girls are for the most part all drama and very scheming and smart. Not all, but most from what I've seen. I'm not saying boys aren't smart but they seem to be more direct in their actions and don't seem to be as intent and adept at hiding their schemes. I have known very s###t -together women whose daughters weren't. I just think it's even harder today to raise kids due to everyone being so busy with their jobs and their tech gadgets and social media to pay attention to what their kids are doing. My 17-year-old grandson just told me the other day that he is the only teen he knows whose family regularly sits down at the table together to eat dinner. He said all the other teens laugh and think it's weird.

Sammy, I think the problem is not the departure time, but the fact that the granddaughter was not invited to the party her friends wanted to attend before leaving for the riverhouse. That is hurtful and it stinks. But sounds like the moms did good and stopped the nonsense. Am I right about this?

We never had end-of-the-year parties when I was growing up. The times and dates and who to invite....could get messy as you described. It sounds like it had a happy ending.

In my adult life I'm finding women are a "lot" of drama & clicks. :0)

Yes, the mothers set everything straight. As it turns out, the mothers expected to drop their girls off at 6:00 and did not know that the girls were discussing an alternate plan. They were reminded that accepting an invitation and then asking for a modification was unacceptable under the circumstances. We arrived safely; the girls happy to be here, admired everything, commented on the flowers, the sunset, the decor. These are gracious girls who were having a tough day yesterday especially the ballerina who will attend a ballet school in Germany and leaving the states very soon with no plan to return. The realization that she may not see some of her friends again and the anxiety of attending the new school has set her askew. understandably so.

So with that behind me, I look forward to relaxing and also catering a bit to my granddaughter and her friends. My granddaughter is quite independent and capable, so most likely I will not be catering. However, while they sleep, I baked Jasdip's blueberry muffins and prepared a fruit salad that awaits them when they awake.

Thanks for listening to my vent yesterday and I appreciate the comments.

Oh I' m so glad it worked out and that the girls are having a good time.

I know this won't help because it is scary but might set minds at ease

My DH's cousin left the west coast at 12 years old to go to ballet school in Toronto and loved it. She was scared and yet excited at the same time. After graduating she wound up in Germany doing ballet grad work (whatever that is) and danced in Germany for years. Germany seems to be a hot bed of talent and of innovative ballet dance. She met her DH there, eventually came home and is now doing a program involving dance as therapy. But she is in Germany for the summer dancing and working on her masters.

She loves Germany and thrives in the dance community there. I hope your granddaughters friend has the same experience.

I imagine that a weekend at the riverhouse will stay with the girls forever, more than the party would have. I'm sure if they get together 40 years from now, one of them will say "remember that weekend? That was so fun, and I designed my new house with that one in mind..."

Have a lovely time!

Enjoy your weekend, these are precious moments in time!

i thought that's what happened. so many times the kids plan things and the parents don't even know it. So typical. Glad the parents did the right thing and set a great example for their daughters.

When we lived in LA, my children went to a much sought after private school. It ended in 6th grade and my son entered it that year, so only 1 year there. The had moved from 1/2 way across the country.

DS was on the basketball team. Since he was 6ft tall on his 12th birthday in late Feb, he was a big asset to this team. The other asset was a very tall boy whose father was a major league baseball player (Tommy Lasorda was the child's godfather!). We were at the league championship game and "out school" won. As we were walking to the parking lot, we saw all the boys on the team (except my son!) running to parent's cars and retrieving overnight bags. They had ALL been invited to a sleep-over birthday party in one boy's parent's Malibu weekend house (he, too, had entered the school in 6th grade). ALL except my son. He was totally humiliated. Our car was parked right next to this boy's parents two cars. The mother looked at my and smiled and shrugged her shoulders and said, "It was his choice who was invited". It was all I could do to keep from spitting in her face! I just looked at her and said, "Shame on you!!! Shame on you!" I wanted to add "A pox on your house" but didn't. It was totally humiliating and embarrassing for my son and truly unforgivable.

Father was a big, famous entertainment and sports attorney and deeply involved with US Soccer. Son is now big in finance. Son went to Harvard. Interestingly, he was a very poor student while at this school, and his parents moved heaven and earth to get him into the top high school in town. Guess they did the same with Harvard.

I'm normally a forgiving woman, but don't mess with my children.

Just realized that I had the wrong kid as an adult. No Harvard for "my" brat - just a series of random schools for short periods of time and no degree. His two older brothers proudly list that name of the top high school they attended; he does not so I'm betting with his less than stellar academic history in elementary school, he didn't actually graduate from that school. It appears that he now "works" as a "street photographer". I assume his father is supporting him. Sounds like they both got what they deserved with this very spoilt, nasty little boy.

I know I shouldn't care all these years later, but that 6th grade year was an agonizing one for my son. He was very, very tall and the shorter boys resented that, he was a "teacher's kid" and that made him a social piranha, and he was very smart and did well. In a school filled with the progeny of many celebrities, he never stood a chance. He attended the prestigious 7-12 school for two years and happily went east to boarding school and left LA behind gladly. Sixth grade can be a hard year - the children of both sexes vary from still being very much "little kids" to being practically full-blown men and women and all points in between. When one of ones son's teachers tells me as a parent that he purposely chose to teach in middle school as he was a short man and at least the students wouldn't be taller than he was, and that he disliked my son because he was (can you imagine a teacher saying such a thing?), you know you're in the wrong place. And no, he was NOT kidding...

"a social piranha"

I think you maybe mean "pariah"?

I am so sorry that your son had such a terrible experience and teacher.

"a social piranha"

I suspect we have autocorrect to thank for that one :-)

Anglophilia, that happened to me when I was in 6th grade. We had moved to the country and my new school was three rooms, with grades 5, 6 and 7 in one room. When we had been there about a month, I found out that on the coming weekend, every other child in the room had been invited to a birthday party- except me. I was informed that the reason was that “it was planned before [I] came.” Even then I could see that adding one more guest to a group of about 30 would not be a strain on the hosts. I went home and cried for ages.

Sometimes, with teenagers, I think the word "piranha" is appropriate - especially today with social media and there is a feeding frenzy on someone deemed to be weaker.

I so wanted to learn ballet when I was younger. The other girls in my small school all took various dance lessons. Couple of years later one of the mothers told me that she was sorry that my parents would not let me join the group. Apparently the other parents were willing to pay for my classes but the girl that was delegated to ask me lied to her parents and I was never asked.

I have wondered if my feet would be in better shape if someone had told me that strengthening my feet by standing and walking on the tips of my toes before my bones were strong enough.

I do not know if ballet strengthens the feet; however, dancing on one's toes is very hard on the feet. Dancers and instructors have to be very diligent in caring for the feet. So sorry you never got to be a part of the dance group, Maifleur.

happy. ballet does strengthen the whole leg from the hips to the toes but toe dancing before the bones are strong enough can bend them or damage the joints. Doctors now because I am older look at my feet and see bunions. When I was younger they looked at the feet and told me my instructor should not have allowed me to dance that way. Now because of the distance between the joint of the toes and the first toe I have developed bunions in that area.

maifleur, my endocrinologist was a dancer as a young girl all through school. She is a tiny, athletic fit healthy woman now about 10 years my junior who had surgery on both feet before she was 40. She definitely blamed the dancing.

I've got a 20 year old girl and a 14 year old girl and, despite hearing all sorts of negative things about their generation and teens in general, I'm always amazed at how truly wonderful the groups of kids they hang out with are (maybe we've just been lucky?). Teenage years are tough and, for the most part, these kids make good decisions and work hard.

ETA: My oldest danced intensely for about 3 years as an older teen. We watched with horror at what it did to her feet. I'm glad she made the decision not to continue.

blfenton

I'm just so glad I had boys, My poor parents had four!!! daughters and two sons. It's probably best I had boys, I don't do nor do I accept drama.

Well, my parents didn't have a daughter that took the car when they were out of town, and drove up to Albany on a dare, and got caught by the police on the way back. My brother was 14.

I wasn't perfect, but in comparison overall, I was pretty mellow.

It's about individuals.