Dealing with 13 year olds- vent
happy2b…gw
4 years ago
last modified: 4 years ago
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happy2b…gw
4 years agoRelated Discussions
13 year old Sheppard poops in the house
Comments (20)I'll have to suggest the aspirin to my parents. I know they used to give him but i think it was coated and I'm not sure if they are still giving it to him. He is not completely emptying his bowels. Its probably more like 'sawed off turds' and this happens when he's struggling to get up. This is the reason I'm reluctant to take what the vet says about him not feeling it as the reason for it. He's struggling to get up from lying down and he's straining himself. If he's experiencing pain while trying to get up, as well as just straining to get up, he's not likely to clench his butt cheeks tighter to prevent an accident (if he's in pain then that is what he's feeling not the passage of stool). The problem with Jessie is that he has always been a quiet dog. My mom said she never heard him bark until he was 5 years old. One afternoon (and it scared her) but he was barking at the hot air balloons that were going overhead (he still barks at the mention of balloons). He makes a mumbling sound, kind of like 'woo, woo' because he did that as a puppy and my dad would do it back so they'd talk like this, lol. If he wants food he usually does this noise and if no one gives him food he just gets louder and eventually barks. I can't say I've ever heard him whine. When he wants to go out he usings his snout to hit the door handle and it makes a rattling noise with the key in it (the really old type of keys). So its difficult to see if he's in pain except the way he walks you can tell if he's stiff, especially in the morning. The problem with my brother is that he rarely comes over especially when my dad's around (he works evening shift so he's gone in the evenings). It would be hard to get them together. We are all going out for dinner to celebrate my parents retirement but that's not until June and I'm not sure that's the best time to bring up doggie accidents. But I'll see if my brother will mention something if they cross paths....See More13 year old looking at Porn
Comments (8)Very good point justmetoo! To get to the root of the problem you need to find out what is triggering it. Although I'm sorry the whole sex addict thing is a boy for you. I know they all hit pueberty at different ages, have you noticed any physical changes about him yet? Get passwords on that computer just so he doesn't end up costing you $$ but you will never stop him from looking at naked pictures altogether. He will settle for the JC Penny catalogue if he has to. You said he admitted he was on the computer and didn't lie so that itself is a positive thing. I really think he needs someone to talk with, prefferably a male role model. Since it seems he hasn't gotten a grasp on proper behavior. It's not that "sex" is bad/dirty nor is having the uncontrollable hormones he is most likely experiencing.. but these are things I'm sure he's just not comfortable discussing with Grandma. My son is nearly 13 and just starting to go into puberty. my computers are locked down so tight they need me to research breastcancer for school projects. However; I walked into his room the other day to see on the wall a scantily (and I mean VERY scantily) clad model on a motorcycle. I thought about tearing it down but decided against it. Instead I sat with him and asked him why he liked that picture.. and without skipping a beat he looked right at me and said "Mom she's beautiful and that bike is awesome." I realized you know what he's right. She IS beautiful, and the bike IS awesome. And he is searching for some way to make the confusing feelings he is going through "OK" This conversation led into a very open conversation where he opened up to me about feeling different because alot of his friends weren't going through this yet. Granted my parenting style is a combination of old school hard a$$ and new age openess.. Depends on the situation. But in our discussion I admitted to him that there are things he is going to go through that I won't understand and his Dad may have to fill in for me. Surprizingly he told me "nah you'll do ok Mom you've never lied to me before and when it comes to girls if I ask you it gives me an inside track!" Sorry got off track there =) My whole thought process here is your grandson IS at that age. and depending on the issues, alot of it is probably centered around the stage of life he's in at the moment. He needs guidance from someone he can feel comfortable with. He needs to know he ISN't abnormal for feeling those feelings and having those urges. It has to be someone who is comfortable with explaining to him appropriate and inappropriate actions in relation to sex. In my case my husband has a hard time with that he still uses nicknames for bodyparts with our oldest daughter for goodness sakes (she's 21) If you can't look at the child and say the actual word for the sex organ, You are not the one they need to speak with that has been my motto. Be ready to openly disscuss what is ok and what is not and explain in detail why. Kids want knowledge they want to feel normal....See Moredealing with mom of 17 year old step daughter
Comments (94)lafevem, I agree. That's why it angers me SO much that they joined a "support" group for step-families. They both use this forum as an excuse to take out their anger on any stepmother who posts questions (looking for support) because they mistakenly view her as the "other woman" in their lives. It's not only unsupportive, it's insulting. And I wish I could say that I respect their perspective, but I don't. I think they are both lonely, angry, bitter, first wives who are taking it out on us because we're just some women on the computer with no face or real name. There's no repercussions for insulting us like there might be if they took it out on the ones actually causing their anger. Don't insult me because you can't blow up your ex and his girlfriend, y'know what I mean? Take a kick-boxing class and imagine she's the bag. Take her picture to the local range and shoot at her for all I care, but stop treating me like I stole your husband and hate my SK. I also think they use the ole "I'm learning your perspective thing" as a cover to be here. If my son was gay and I was having a hard time "understanding" it and wanted to learn where he was coming from, I wouldn't go to a forum and tell all gays that they are wrong for being that way, that it simply isn't "natural", or that God is frowning on them. (Which I really don't feel - I'm just making an example because that's usually the opposing arguments!) I also wouldn't assume that all gay men are hairdressers who wear designer labels and talk with a lisp just because some of them do. I do not appreciate being grouped into some category of ignorant, horrible mothers simply because Cinderella had an evil stepmother. It's just wrong. We are all people with different situations who are hear seeking support and we all deserve that opportunity to be listened to instead of picked apart. Some of us are better parents than others, some of us are better people than others but it doesn't mean that everyone in here is guilty until proven innocent. "to stepping -- no I wouldnt like or defend anyone hurting a child" Kkny: I will take this as your way of saying that I am not like the "other" stepmothers you assume we all are and that deep down, you see and appreciate that I am more maternal than the BM in my SS(s) lives and understand that those boys now have a chance to have the mother they deserve and that they have a better life now because I'm in it. After all, I don't physically and emotionally abuse them (and I won't list everything I DO do for them!) So, thank you for acknowledging this (even if I had to say it for you.)...See MoreHelp! 13 year old stepdaughter difficulties
Comments (5)Wow, I'm sorry about this. I'm afraid that if you let this girl make 'grown-up' decisions, your DH could become estranged from her - that will only let the gap widen. Do you have any reasons as to why she suddenly feels this way? I assume you were not the reason her parents divorced and that she has no reason (mother) to believe her parents would be together were it not for you? A couple of things I would recommend: 1. DH talks to his ex to see if she knows what's the problem. Is she using any divorce poisoning? Most kids don't take such a strong stance w/o some encouragement from their most influential person (mom, usually.) 2. DH must not allow her to disrespect you, as his wife, or you will grow resentful - of this I'm sure - been there. I would explore the help of a marriage/family counselor NOW. My DH and I waited til recently to seek counseling - my skids are grown, but we've never had an easy road. Many men are non-custodial parents and are afraid of 'losing' the kids even more. So, they back down when the little voice inside them tells them it's not the right path, they reward bad behavior out of guilt, etc. It really leads to problems in adulthood - for many of these kids' relationships. Have you and this girl gotten along rather well up until this point? I'm curious as to why you've only known her for six mos. Did you have a whirlwind romance? Or, did you give him and his DDs space on their weekends? How long have you both been divorced? What is the ex-wife like? If the ex is not bitter or angry or jealous, she will be the key to getting through this. If she is any of those things, I'm afraid you have a very tough uphill battle. But, if DH gives in to his DD, you can bet she will begin to work on her sister and that relationship will also deteriorate. Good luck - please fill in the blanks a little. My skids and I get along much better these days, but those early days were he!! for me. I still have issues, and the SS hasn't spoken to us in over 2 yrs. His sisters have their calls unanswered for months at a time. His mother hasn't heard from him in longer than us (he has issues: lifestyle, bad choices, etc.) Anyway, the ex in my case pinned me as a homewrecker - ironic since she had a long affair during their marriage. Later, like three years later, she found the Lord and confessed, but a lot of bad water had gone under the bridge - it's still a tough process to fix the damage. Some days I want to mend the fences, but others, I just am burned out. At least the girls are adults and fairly self-sufficient these days. All the best, Dana...See Morehappy2b…gw
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