Shut off his internet connection .... its going to be a battle but it will stop him from surfing into unknown sites.

Is he gambling? or stealing?

Donate the money to charity :) or keep it for his care.

I woke up at 2 am went into SS14's room he was on the comp (new laptop mom bought for christmas) no clue what he was looking at but I took it away ... shut off the tv and went to bed ... got up at 6am he was on the comp again watching tv .... that night huge battle told his dad FU and me to screw off .... ok 3 hours later he has lost all communication devices ....

The next day when things were calm ... he was told after 9 puter is shut off or you leave it at mom's ... no internet for a week (I changed the network password) Lost tv for a month.

Swear directly at us again be defiant like he was that night again and you will lose everything in your room down to the carpet and will earn stuff back one piece at a time... so if you think we are kidding try us!!! (there is a show on MTV called world's strictest parents love that show we watch it with the kids ... so they (my SC) can see how rough they have it.)

He's been an angel since :)

Although I would most definately monitor his use of the computer more, I would focus more on the behavioral issues at hand. Let's face it he is a 13 year old boy his hormones are raging out of control and he will access what he is able to access. So I don't think that is so out of the normal. Plus it is something that you can have a bit of control over. (possibly putting a password on so he is restricted from porn sites )

I agree with Pseudo Mom that taking away privledges and such is an excellent way to grab their attention. I haven't been really active lately so I don't know the back story here though, what is the reason he is living with you and not his parents? I only ask because not having the parents there may be causing some real emotional issues at this rather uncomfortable time, puberty is not easy on teens in the usual situations. Perhaps it would be wise to look into a bit of counseling for him?

hmmm, so what happened or changed for your grandson since the holiday vacation? Did he just get the computer? Meet any new 'friends'? Did a new student move into his school district that he's just met?

Besides securing the computer so he can not view/access what you think is not age correct for him and talking to the other parents of the teen that source the money came from, you can also try making a meeting at his school with his teacher and the office. What's going on at school for the grandson? Is his school work keeping up? Has the teacher or the other staff noticed anything new and/or different with the boy , including personality, appearance, friends, behavior.

This could be anything. An even wild thought might a parent or older brother might be paying your grandson to print porn from your computer so their own computer stays clean. He might be selling it to his gym buddies who parents have security locks at home. Gambling, selling drugs, heck, pawning grandpa's gold ring?

While you can monitor his behavior and hand out correctional measures of banning computer, grounding ect, I think you really need to get an idea as to what has changed and what is going on outside the house.

I know with my little one starting to get a bit more interent time I plan on putting on one of the new family protection problems on my computer later this month that I was looking at in the store last night, I waited as I wanted to get online and check out my different options other than the brand I looked at. Over at the public library in our village there are public computers for kids and adults to use and these are secured and monitored for kid friendly usage with the staff at library able to turn up or down the security depending on user. I used one one day when my computer was down and I had to request monitor be adjusted as I could not bring up a simple 'ad of the week' for JC Penny I wanted to view, the ad had bra and sleepwear in it and I kept getting a pop-up telling me it was not for my viewing allowence--LOL.

Very good point justmetoo! To get to the root of the problem you need to find out what is triggering it.

Although I'm sorry the whole sex addict thing is a boy for you. I know they all hit pueberty at different ages, have you noticed any physical changes about him yet? Get passwords on that computer just so he doesn't end up costing you $$ but you will never stop him from looking at naked pictures altogether. He will settle for the JC Penny catalogue if he has to.
You said he admitted he was on the computer and didn't lie so that itself is a positive thing.

I really think he needs someone to talk with, prefferably a male role model. Since it seems he hasn't gotten a grasp on proper behavior. It's not that "sex" is bad/dirty nor is having the uncontrollable hormones he is most likely experiencing.. but these are things I'm sure he's just not comfortable discussing with Grandma.

My son is nearly 13 and just starting to go into puberty. my computers are locked down so tight they need me to research breastcancer for school projects. However; I walked into his room the other day to see on the wall a scantily (and I mean VERY scantily) clad model on a motorcycle. I thought about tearing it down but decided against it. Instead I sat with him and asked him why he liked that picture.. and without skipping a beat he looked right at me and said "Mom she's beautiful and that bike is awesome." I realized you know what he's right. She IS beautiful, and the bike IS awesome. And he is searching for some way to make the confusing feelings he is going through "OK" This conversation led into a very open conversation where he opened up to me about feeling different because alot of his friends weren't going through this yet. Granted my parenting style is a combination of old school hard a$$ and new age openess.. Depends on the situation. But in our discussion I admitted to him that there are things he is going to go through that I won't understand and his Dad may have to fill in for me. Surprizingly he told me "nah you'll do ok Mom you've never lied to me before and when it comes to girls if I ask you it gives me an inside track!"

Sorry got off track there =) My whole thought process here is your grandson IS at that age. and depending on the issues, alot of it is probably centered around the stage of life he's in at the moment. He needs guidance from someone he can feel comfortable with. He needs to know he ISN't abnormal for feeling those feelings and having those urges. It has to be someone who is comfortable with explaining to him appropriate and inappropriate actions in relation to sex. In my case my husband has a hard time with that he still uses nicknames for bodyparts with our oldest daughter for goodness sakes (she's 21) If you can't look at the child and say the actual word for the sex organ, You are not the one they need to speak with that has been my motto. Be ready to openly disscuss what is ok and what is not and explain in detail why. Kids want knowledge they want to feel normal.

He brought home $100???

Do the kids in his school have that kind of money to gamble?

This sounds like drugs;

I'd have him pee in a cup.

pronto.

Ok he lives with us because his mother was in prison. We have perm custody of him and his sister. Since she got out on parole (sp?) he has wanted to go back and be with her. She is not stable and has 15 years to serve before she is in the clear. He is actually my husband step grandson and only related to me by marraige.

I have locked the computer right now. I have to go in and lock the internet. But I have told him that he is not even allowed to watch someone when they are on the computer. He was grounded before this happened and now he has a week that his GP gives him chores to do and when they are done he has to stay in his bedroom.

I do believe it is from gambling. His first story to his sister was that his friend just gave it to him and when I questioned him it was from gambling. He goes to a charter school and not a public school. I dont really want to bring the school into the mix on the gambling because it is grounds to be expelled.

He has lived with us for 2 years. The only thing I can figure out is his brother who stayed in GA where he lived before came to visit during Christmas and told him and his sister that theor mom was ready to get them back all she had to do was get a home. I wish people would not lie to them like this because we have a court order to have them. Its not that wasy to just go back. The older brother caused alot of problems while he was here. But that is a whole different story.

THanks again for everything!

i would check for drugs

You've really got your a handful with the young teen who has lots of issues. Besides the computer lockdown you can also block numbers from his cell phone so he can't text/call those you don't authorize.

Yeah, the older brother's visit likely has played a role in your new round of problems. It's got to be real hard on your grandson wanting his family to be back together down where he came from, a mom struggling to rebuild her life who can't yet be or do what the kid hopes for, and top it off with entering teen years with all the ups and downs that go along with being a teen.

You said counseling did not seem to help much, but I think it's a route you and GP might try again and don't give grandson a choice about it. Make the counseling be a requirement that you and GP insist on just like the grounding and computer lockdown. Let GP talk to the boy showing GP understands how hard it all is for GS and that you all want to work this out together so that GS can learn to deal with everything he's faced with. I don't think no matter how hard you and GP are trying with the boy that you can handle all the different issues of the boy without some help and guidence. Your goal is to raise, love support and send the teen off some day to live a healthy productive adult life and he needs to understand the track he is inching towards now is not going to make that the end result.

Your state should help pay or pay for all of the services for assisting if the state gave you custody of the children. I'm assuming here custody from mom was relinquished to the state and judge awarded custody to GP.

Also depending on where you're at and the city size, you might also reach out to your churches and see what is there for young teens. A lot of churches in my area reach out to pre/teens and work hard at keeping them off the streets and helping guide them in positive ways in group settings. Some even have grandparent support groups and their volunteers help guide , make referals and that type of thing.

Good luck to you, what you've taken on is not easy nor has any simple answers/solutions, you've really got to just keep plugging away and trying hard one day at a time.