Facing the end of one's life
lucillle
5 years ago
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Bleah tasting avocados - signal end of life?
Comments (12)Thank you so much garden web community for all the great info! @ yukkuri name - I never thought about grafting so I will definitely look into that. @ lgteacher - got it about the ripening, they were unfortunately still tasting bad even after ripening off the tree @ tropical thought - thanks for the link. I am definitely sure it was planted as a tree, and not from seed. The previous owners gave us a scrap book that showed their grandparents planting the tree in the yard back int the 40s @hoovb - this info is great! Based on what you said, in september we definitely picked them to early. A few we had picked recently had the black fibers. I will check next time for the seed cover. What a bummer. I hope we did not miss the peak @ wcgypsy - I I have no idea what variety this avocado is, but I will take one to the local gardening store and see if they can id the type. I included a picture below in case anyone in the forum can ID Here is a link that might be useful: Pic of my avocados...See MoreEnd of life/advanced directives
Comments (5)That story really struck me, especially the part about the mother pulling out her feeding tube. Last November my 94 year old mother fell again and was sent to the ER. Of course, we immediatly went to see her and she seemed OK. However later that afternoon she was admitted with a pneumonia diagnosis. Later that evening her heart started racing uncontrollably and they had to give her additional mediction for that. When we went to see her the next morning, we discovered that she had puffy white "boxing glove" things on her hands. The nurse explained that she had torn out the IV with her medications, so they had to put the special gloves on her. Before I even went into her room, I saw her with the gloves up to her mouth and she was gnawing at them trying to remove them. When she saw me, she started crying out my name, begging me to get those things off her. Then she started calling for my husband to do the same. I tried to calm her and comfort her but she was still horribly agitated. My mother suffered from Alzheimer's, so reasoning with her and explaining the need for the IVs was out of the question. I looked at her, so scared, so agitted, and realized that I could NOT do this to her. We had all the legalities and directives in place. We'd already had all the conversations. So I asked to talk to the doctor in charge. He explained that in my mother's wekened state, it could take weeks for her pneumonia to clear up. In the meantime, she'd have the IVs. Then, even if she got better, she'd spend quite a while in a convelescent facility recuperating. All I could think of was that she would end up so weak that she'd permanently be in a wheelchair. And with little ability to interact with others (Every medical crisis had a negative effect on her Alzheimer's). By the time the doctor was done talking to me and my husband, our daughter had arrived. She immediatly went into my mom's room, took the gloves off, and just held her hands so she wouldn't tear out her IVs. I told the doctor that I knew what my mom wanted, I knew she wasn't afraid of death. I said I couldn't sentence her to weeks or months of misery. I told him to remove the IVs and put her on palliative care. He understood and accepted my wishes. Both my husband and daughter agreed with my decision too. So we all went back into her room and spent the entire afternoon with her. We sang songs, I read the 23rd Psalm to her (she was still able to recite much of it with me, especially the part about dwelling in the house of the Lord forever), we talked about Greek cooking, and my daughter's upcoming wedding. Eventually her fiance arrived and my mom was able to talk with him too. It was a wonderful time together with my mom. When we left her, we all prayed together. And my mother said a strong, "Amen!" My biggest worry was that the anitbiotics she'd had for one day would somehow work just enough to prolong her suffering. The next morning we saw her again, but she was so weak and pretty much out of it. However, she was clutching the little teddy bear I got her the day before. Later that afternoon, I got the call that she had died. As strange as it may seem, the first words out of my mouth were, "Thank the Lord!" She wasn't suffering anymore, she hadn't died scared, agitated, or upset. I've never second guessed my decision. I remember her crying my name. She was trusting me to deliver her from that frightening situation. I was her only child, so the resposibility was mine. She died a good death, spending her last hours of consciousness with her family....See MoreMy mom got Alzheimer's during aunt's end of life care?
Comments (15)Thank you everyone! I just know I’m going to get bombarded at different points of time while up there, most likely by my aunt and my sisters husband. They will feel I need to be told what my responsibilities are and will be doing so to protect my younger sister who they think cannot handle it. I told everyone long ago that as I lost my childhood I had no plans on losing my older age years as well. My Aunt who just passed knew this and coaxed mom into setting herself up in an environment that has assisted living. I contacted several facilities and had literature sent to her as well as info on all senior amenities in her area. Mom was under the notion that it was all her idea, picked her place to live and she uses most of the local senior services. Of course I will do my share but had to say those things to get the ball rolling while mom had all her wits. I do love my mom but do have to limit the responsibilities to somewhat shared responsibilities with my sister as I live five states away. I have decided not to have any conversations with others regarding mom (except with sister) while up there. My response will simply be “its Karen time” as in, my aunts’ funeral time. And, instead of getting myself worked up over likely “mom” topics from family members I’m going to think of Annie’s words and let it rooolll off me lol. Thanks for that Annie; I’m already putting that great advice into action. This morning I was getting worked up again and visually pictured myself awash with comforting warmth starting at the top of my head and moving down over my body taking all negativity away. Mattie, I have no idea how you have cared for two elderly persons with Alzheimer’s/dementia. My potential problems are nothing compared to what you do on a daily basis. I do not have it in me to be a caregiver for elderly. It’s a selfish thing to admit but true. You are a special person! Kellielog, I know you get what I’m talking about. I had an alcoholic parent and a mentally unstable parent. I’m not sure but do I remember that your dad was both? I know I always felt like the real parent as young as age five or maybe even earlier. It’s not something you ever get over. It’s something that takes over against your will. Being that I’m a very strong willed person it still catches me by surprise. To all, your kind words really have helped right now and I mean that....See MoreEnd of life distress
Comments (62)I'm so sorry for the pain and suffering you have both been through and glad that he is finally at peace. I hope that you will be gentle with yourself and will be able to recall some pleasant memories from the past. I would encourage you to consider some form of commemoration of his life. From my own experience, I think it will be meaningful to you in time....See Morelucillle
5 years agolucillle
5 years agosjerin
4 years ago
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