Iris, that is my motto! as down hill rides, aka, fast rides are my kind of ride... and I totally enjoy them.

Lucille, I have a good friend that will go for a carton of ice cream with me, two or three times a year. meanwhile, I do eat some on my own, just in smaller amounts often.

Lucille, please know I am thinking of you.

((((Lucille))))

Well, as the oldest member of this group I am trying to live a decent, healthy (except for too many cookies) life, but after last year's assault ( flu, pneumonia, bronchitis) I have been slowed down considerably, especially as I now use a walker.

I have raised a good family, have outlived two husbands, feel that I've had a good life so when it ends, it ends.

I live in an independent senior apartment but notice that most of the new residents are at least 10 years younger than I. The things that impacted my life-the Depression, WW2, are history book stuff to them. I try to avoid being "that old lady that talks about such long ago stuff."

Oh Seniorgal, I would be fascinated to have you as a neighbor! You could come over for tea and talk about that “long ago stuff” every day if you liked! Too late we realise what a trove of information is lost when a person graduates to Heaven.

colleen,

I'll be over for tea when this April blizzard is over!

Lucille, I'm sorry that you are experiencing worrisome symptoms and I hope that everything turns out to be well with you. You will be in my thoughts.

As I've grown older, I've become much more aware of the passage of time than I was when I was young and it seemed like I had all the time in the world. The concept of time passing was really driven home to me when my brother died unexpectedly at the young age of 46. That was a real eye opener for me that there are no guarantees in life and that people should live the best life possible based on their likes and preferences as individuals. What is a great life to me might be something completely different for someone else, but whatever it is, it's important to "just do it" as Nike says. I do not want to be facing the end of my life filled with regret at all the things I didn't do.

While I try to take care of myself, eat well, exercise, etc., I absolutely allow myself treats whether it's going out for a rich, artery clogging dinner and a few beers, a decadent dessert or splurging on some ridiculously self indulgent thing like a spa day or new shoes that I will only wear once or whatever it might be.

I've also become more aware of wanting to do for others as I've gotten older. Whether that is volunteering or donating or marching in a protest or picking up trash, I've realized that I want to give something back while I'm still here on earth. While I've always tried to be kind and compassionate, I didn't used to think about what I could do as an individual to leave the earth a better place than I found it.

As far as MamaP's post goes, I didn't find it inappropriate at all. She was simply expressing her concern for Lucille and giving some advice based on her own experience. MamaP is very tuned in to these types of situations at present due to her own battle. Best wishes to you too, MamaP.

Despite all that, I think that graywings is right and that in the end people die the way they lived.

I won't ever say no to a piece of dark chocolate - ever. I eat it every day. It's a darn thing that I truly love to run in the trails 5 minutes away from my house. I do that with neighbourhood friends several times a week.

seniorgal - you are my internet role model

lucille and mamapinky - hugs and best wishes to you both. Eating ice cream is a good way to live.

I'm an only child but I did lose two cousins around my age this year. Since my last aunt died at 100, we were/are the old generation now. How did it happen? I seriously remember being depressed when I had my 30th birthday. Our motto back then was not to trust anyone over 30. Age weighs on my mind and I have a routine I rarely vary from. I eat mostly a plant-based diet with just 1/2 pound of salmon a week. Other than that, it's all fruits, veggies, and grains. I try to get six miles in on my Fitbit, and even though it's a chore to run on the treadmill for two miles every day(but Sat.), I make myself do it. It's not to live longer, it's to have a better quality of life in the last years.

I've had to avoid saturated fats most of my adult life because I don't process them well. My dad was the same way. I've told my kids if I ever get dementia and end up in a nursing home, feed me ice cream. Not only would it be a blissful experience, but it would get me out of there faster.

Just wanted to mention 2 things. We recently read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande and in it he highlights 4 questions that are essential for anyone dealing with end of life/quality of life issues that it's important for both the person and their family/care givers to know the answers to... we can't stop the end of life from coming, but we can make sure that everyone involved is focused on what makes for the best *quality* of life ... whatever that means to the person ... in those final days/months/years.

And this:

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

• I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
• I wish I hadn't worked so much.
• I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
• I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I haven't bought ice cream in a long time but now I'm thinking, why not!? :)

I like this quote:

If your carrying something around that is heavy and causing stress or frustration, look around. Find someone who needs your smile. Find somebody whose day will get better and whose burden will get lighter because of your kindness and love. I promise, you will benefit as much as, or maybe even more than, they will.

- Jennifer Rothschild

When we were on a tour, our director said, just remember all those women on the titanic who turned down dessert!

:)

I just ate a doughnut in your honor, Lucille. :)

Lucille, whatever your reason for posting this, know that my thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Way back in 1983 when DH had his first heart bypasses at age 43, I changed our way of eating. Did all the recommendations for healthy eating/living etc. of the times. Well those recommendations kept changing. What was/is good for you this week is bad for you next, and on and on. About 12 years ago in spite of DH's and my heart issues we gave up and decided to eat/do whatever we wanted at least in moderation. DH, in spite of trying our best to live healthy, by then had a total of 6 heart bypasses, 3 of them redos of the original in 1983 and 5 stents placed. Ice cream is a staple in this house. It is 90% of the time low fat and low/no sugar added, but we do eat some almost daily.

Last evening, I really went out on a limb with dinner. I actually cooked and ate a boneless skinless chicken thigh without removing the globs of fat!

Article on dog de-wormer to treat cancer:

NPR

The one thing I worry most about getting older is money. I received a modest inheritance from my mother's estate. It's the most money I've ever had or ever will have again. My dilemma, do I spend it on things other than house repairs? property upkeep? (which I'm doing) should I spend half of it on a new car (15yr.old vehicle finally becoming a money pit)? Enjoy it and spend it on whatever I want? save it in case something "big" happens? Everything now days costs so much, my inheritance can dwindle away sooner than later.

I'm 66. Maybe I have a good 20yrs. left. I don't want to be 86 with nothing in the bank but a meager savings account again. I do have a life insurance policy to take care of after life matters. And no, no investments to make the money work for me. I always worry it wouldn't be accessible when I need it. Should talk to a financial expert I guess. But, it's not an enormous amount of money.

I know a 98 year old lady who is STILL concerned about her figure and denies herself ice cream and other goodies. If I made it to that age, I think I would have cake for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, and a healthy dinner to balance it all. :)

Regrets: I think I do agree somewhat in theory with the 5 points that Annie posted up thread.

But, let's face it certain things are not always in our control. Sometimes there are certain priorities that have to be addressed, when you take care of others, sometimes they have to come first.

Of the five, my top wold be the last two.

I think I have spent too much time worrying. I am now trying to cut myself some slack and put a limit on it. Look instead to add ways to feel happy each day.

I regret losing touch with friends. In my case, this shipped has sailed. I am not concentrating on developing new friendships and have taken steps to do so.

Lots of whistling in the dark here. Actually contemplating our own inevitable death is hard. It certainly is for me, but I am very interested in seeing this thread develop.

Mentally, we know we live on 'borrowed time' -- right from conception. Some here have intimate knowledge of death from family experiences. However, I suspect that most of us have never even been familiar with the cycle of life in animals -- as people were in agricultural societies. We've also lived a long time after antibiotics made early human death rare. Death and dying are not our emotional 'familiars'.

We 'make arrangements'. We do practical, legal things. We 'set our houses in order'. And then -- other than going on *living*! -- what else might we do well to consider? Can you 'prepare' emotionally?

When I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma I found some solace in knowing I would not have to take heroic measures to kill myself in the face of dementia! I still have to come to grips with the progress of the disease...and our topic here: Dying.

greywings123, there is lots of info out there about dog wormer killing cancer.

of all types.

Yeah, they suspect that some combo of existing meds could be the answer.

Schoolhouse, please buy the brightest, most beautiful car with all the bells and whistles and know you just erased one stress, your present car, and can move forward with a carefree feeling. You will feel happier in a brand new car. I believe in being kind to oneself, do as much for others when needed and try hard to live in the moment.

It's amazing the work being done with Fenbendazole. The NIH has active studies and trials. The big drug companies do not want to support it because they won't make any money on it because it's already generic stage and had all the drug testing done years ago and passed. NIH one of the studies.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2687140/

It's not up to drug companies to agree or disagree, support or not support research that the NIH or any other academic/professional body decides to provide grants to.

Note that the study cited is work done on mice some 10 years ago, published in the Journal of the American Assoc for Laboratory Animal Science. Not quite the same as if it were in JAMA, the New England Journal of Medicine, Lancet, or any of the oncology journals.

I am enjoying myself immensely this morning. Went out for a ride on the trike. Ordered groceries from Costco. I know I'm supposed to be careful of sugar and restrict fluids. Ha! Am working on the Costco in-store-baked cinnamon rolls with icing washed down by iced tea.

(Shopping tip: the delivery services at Costco and other stores where the delivery is being done by an outside company have a basic shopping list that does not include everything in the store, but one can make a special request like I did for the cinnamon rolls.)

None of us know for sure exactly when the last curtain will be drawn but I'm doing life (and death) on my terms. I'm not going down eating green beans and sucking on an ice cube!

So glad most are checking this out ,lots of people doing it as preventive

Masdel, looks like your original post was deleted. I am glad I got to read it before the forum nannies decided it was inappropriate.

Ha! Forum nannies!!!! Lol!

Schoolhouse, since you asked, here are my thoughts on your inheritance. It's hard to be specific since we don't know how much money is involved, but if your car is beginning to fail, by all means replace it. Get one that you'll enjoy driving, but don't buy a brand new one that will cost a bundle and lose so much of its value when you drive it out of the showroom. I love cars and driving, so if it were my money I'd look at appealing models (whichever appeal to you) that are four or five years old. Or newer. Or older. Lots of good cars are available with relatively low miles and high expectations of longevity. Some are still under warranty. A vehicle like this would make me just as happy as a brand new one.

I think it's smart for homeowners to have enough money for contingencies--home repairs, appliance replacement, etc. These things happen. So again, if the inheritance were mine I wouldn't spend all of it. It's a nice feeling to have a healthy bank account.

These are personal decisions, but I hope you'll spend some the money on something that will make you happy long-term and keep enough of it to make you feel secure.

schoolhouse, why not some of all of those things? Write it on paper. How much MUST be in savings. How much can go towards a car, repairs your home will need in the next ten years, one fun thing that you totally blow it on... Like that. Budget it. Don't live like it's your first or last day of living. Just live in the moment, enjoying it to the fullest.

Thanks all, yes security is the thing I want most and unfortunately money is a big part of that. As for the car, I just can't see spending $30,000 on a new car. A less expensive (boring) one or used is definitely the way to go. My intention was to buy a new car and make payments until - Medicare. Now over $700 for health care comes out of my retirement benefit check. There goes the car payment! And I find myself already dipping into savings to meet monthly expenses some months.

I've scrimped and saved and budgeted all my life. Not a bad life really. Just would be fun to have things. ha I did replace my other 15yr. old - my Zero Turn mower a month ago. Got $550 trade-in for it. yay.

So much for me. Good luck to us all!

I was thinking that if they do determine that an existing medicine is efficacious in treating cancer than, without a doubt, the price of that medicine would skyrocket, just due to greedy drug companies being greedy.

It turns out that the price of that particular medicine has already skyrocketed. The article notes: the wholesale cost of a 100 mg tablet in the U.S. has risen from $4.50 in 2011 to $369 in 2016

Seriously? I'm starting to think that every executive at every Pharmaceutical company ought to be frog-marched directly to prison.

frog-marched directly to prison That might be heaven for them, from what I know there are huge markups for drugs sold inside prisons.

Having learned early from watching people purchasing used cars then being faced with big repairs even with the good used cars except for one time I have always purchased new. The amount lost driving them out of the sales lot is seldom more than the amount for the first repair on a used car. One of the reasons that so many young people who are poor is that they purchase used cars which need repairs. While some people trade every few years most trade when they start finding the repair cost is more than what car payments on a new car would be. I definitely would make payments rather than paying for the whole cost up front unless you do decide to purchase a used car.

Sadly you may need to find a job to tide you over until you start collecting Social Security not Medicare unless you are already collecting SS.

That’s to bad they deleted my post .you never now when cancer knocks on your door and you may need that info I posted only to help people as it has helped other.

but at least you know to Use fenbendazole 222 mg

My Cavalier was purchased new in 2003, first and only new car I ever had - so far. It's been a good car. I would prefer to buy new.

No SS. I worked for the State for 30yrs., and first 1.5 yrs. in a job out of high school - not enough quarters to earn SS. That's why I pay 100% of Part A Medicare. But that is something for a whole new thread. In fact we may have had a discussion on Soc.Sec. and Medicare some time ago.

seniorgal -- I'd guess that you have witnessed the declining years of many people while living in assisted living. My late MIL sometimes called her facility "God's Waiting Room". Would you share what you've gleaned?

Are there any medical people or hospice or other volunteers here with insights about people's thoughts as they face death?

Schoolhouse, I hear you, it's not easy to get by when so much of our income is tied up in necessities. I could afford to buy a new car but I never have as I value my $ and get one several years old with low mileage. I purchased my last two on Ebay, haha. Yeah, my kids were horrified but they know me well. I saved 9000.00 off the prices around here. I got someone to fly to Florida and drive it back. My bio is one of seven kids and we are Scottish. That's my story!!!

To reply to chisue--I live in an independent facility so not much experience with Assisted Living places, tho folks here consider it a last resort. Many are unregulated, all seem to charge for each task, for example $$ for sorting meds, $$ for giving them, $$ for bath help, etc. so that it can become very expensive.

Where I live we can hire helpers (I do from an agency for just 2 mornings a week) and many do.

What I notice most is people becoming very forgetful--approaching dementia. If families don't step in, management sometimes does. One of the common reasons for leaving here is a fall. We all dread that. There are call buttons in our apartments which give some security. We have a controlled entry and a concierge on duty 24 hours a day. No medical help, however.

At 96 I am one of the oldest here but we have many who are over 90. Some are more able than others but most are quite able and mentally fine. We have many activities one can choose to partake in. I don't do as many as I once did.

Hope this answers your questions.

We are honored to have you as one of us here at the KT, seniorgal.

My brother drives a $40,000 + pickup truck. I don't know how he does it, money-wise that is, not drive. ha And they are not brand new! Can you imagine? He trades them in every so often. I would be a nervous wreck having payments on something like that.

This is a thinking post. Really make you crawl into your head and ...ponder.

I've been hesitant to speak much about myself in the KT lately, but I've been drawn in by the pure bittersweet.

As some of you know I've been diagnosed with metastasized lung cancer...it's in my right lung, lymp nodes in my chest, around the heart, in most bones and two tumers in the brain causing swelling and fluid.

Im undergoing brain radiation treatments at present..I'll have 10 of these..today I finished 6...my 10'th will be Thursday than I'll start chemo and immunotherapy I think I was told I'd have 3 chemo and immuno than 21 days off than 3 and 21 off for a total of 4 or 5 sesions. My Oncologist wasn't pleased to postpone chemo but they won't do it with radiation and the brain must be saved first.

So I'm facing death. There's no cure for me unless God sends me a miricle.

I ask my brain doctors when radiation started if he could give me a week...he told me....I'm so very sorry but where your brain tumers are located and the stage...I can't promise you tomorrow but....we are all fighting this with you and a LOT of Prayers, HOPE, and new medicines have given many people in your situation TIME and LIFE. This is what scares me the most....the not knowing from one moment to the next...as if I'm a time bomb...ticking. already I have arm seizures daily, head pain, but it's lessioning up some...

God how I've been thinking for weeks the same questions Lucille has ask..

From the first moment I was told about my cancer...

My family became my first priority. Nothing absolutely nothing is more important than family, no pretty clothing, no nice cars, no amount of money could ever be more important than family. And Dear God my boys and Amiee.

I've also thought about all the other important things that must be taken care of, such as....well....important papers, etc all in a neat folder and labled.

So much to do and get in order..sometimes I just don't want to think about any of the mundane stuff I must do and just grab the family and have fun. Like after this post last night...I sent my son for ice cream and even though it was a school night I kept the boys up and we had a ice cream fest..the boys LOVED it. Right now my family is filling up air mattresses in the family room, digging out sheets , pillows, blankets...we're having a weekend PJ party. My adult sons are here to join us as is Amiee's BF Kody. Lots of ice cream, cookies, etc along with some good breakfasts and dinners thru the weekend....huge messes with all this bedding, but SO WHAT...the boys were absolutely thrilled that I cancelled their showers tonight and told them to get into their PJ's. Everyone will just be vegging, laughing, and having fun. Limited work except the basics...bare basics. This makes me happy...I love my family and I want to share and feel their smiles.

I've installed enough good habits in the boys that they know the importance of good eating habits, bathing, ect....letting up, easing up once in awhile won't hurt them one bit but will go a long way in giving them peace of mind and some real laughter. Guess I've realized a little slack in routine and all the good healthy life is great, but there must be enough balance to provide a healthy body and mind.

For me it's all about family...and the boys and Amiee are of course my greatest concern right now. I try so hard to stay strong, not dwell on what's to happen....but God how can I leave these kids..this is the question that's always on my mind...I know I cant...as long as my brain is still functioning, and there's a breath in me I refuse to give up. I'll take the fear, the pain..I'll suffer the agonizing....I'll do whatever I must do to continue to be with my kids....and we will eat ice cream while I do it.

I'm sure I got way off topic Lucille, I found myself saying, sharing, to much yet again. I always did have this bad habit.

Lucille, I truly Pray all is well with you. Enjoy those cinnamon rolls, and other cookies, your bike rides, and everything fun your life offers. Do it all with a peaceful heart, and a smile.

((((HUGS)))).

mamapinky now is the time to do those little extras for yourself as long as your treatments allow. I have and have had friends in similar situations. Their advice to me is to live each day as a gift. Do something nice for yourself be it the ice cream, special bubble bath, painting your finger nails wild colors each day. It allowed them to face the tomorrow with grace. Be at peace.

mamapinky, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. My mom had metastatic lung cancer as well so I am familiar with some of what you're going through. I hope the new treatments they are always coming out with will help you! It seems so unfair, especially since you never smoked, but I guess cancer is never fair.

Have you considered writing letters or making videos for your family? My mom never did, and I would have loved to have them for special milestones in my life that she missed, like when I got married, and when I have children. Just a thought, as someone who has gone through it.

Mamapinky ,please give Joe’s protocol a chance I’m glad I did.

https://www.mycancerstory.rocks/single-post/2016/08/22/Shake-up-your-life-how-to-change-your-own-perspective

MamaPinky, you are an amazing giving person who has been the idol of your entire family as you make their lives enriched and, whether you are present or not, they will always hold you on high, reminisce about you, laugh and cry and never ever will you be out of their hearts. You accomplished an amazing goal and they will most definitely be able to lead their lives to the fullest with loving and caring ways as you were their role model. I pray you can live out your life with faith and fun. I'm cheering for you in my prayers.

MamaPinky, it is so much to think about, and I am sure if it was me, I wouldn't be able to relax, with trying to get every base covered and detail taken care of. My heart goes out to you.

About cars. I have had many new cars and trucks. I used to get a new one every other year, because I drove 50,000 miles a year.

Now we buy one owner, used cars. We look for one that has been well maintained. If you aren't driving thousands of miles a month, you shouldn't have to worry about a lot of repairs. I have bought used cars, drove them 2 years and sold them for just about my original price.

My brother in law had cancer of lungs and it spread to his pancreas. He took chemo for awhile but doctors only gave him 6 months. Chemo made him very sick, and so he quit. He lived 17 months. I know had he known about FN, he would have tried it. He was another one who never smoked, or drank, or did drugs. Always watched his weight...lived healthy lifestyle. Same for my husband....and he has an incurable lung disease. Their other brother drank, chain smoked, and did every kind of illegal drug there is, and looks like he will outlive them both...so I guess you never know. Do everything right and die anyway.

It's true Marilyn, you never know. We have two friends that watched what they ate, no preservatives etc,for years. They both got breast cancer. Now, they are back to eating everything.

mamapinky0 -- I am late to the specific news of your condition and treatment plan. I hope you will keep talking it out here. The KT is a good outlet; no need to spare *us*, as we all have to do sometimes with family.

How are you tolerating the radiation? I'm hoping to hear that followup scans show good reduction in the brain tumors and that shrinking them eases your symptoms. Do you have to travel far for treatments?

I also hope you will not only please your oncologists with the chemo results but will also *feel* better. (Some of my irritating confusion cleared quickly within weeks of starting Velcade chemo for my multiple myeloma.) Will your chemo be by infusion at your hospital or cancer clinic?

I see some good hand-holding in our immediate future on the KT!

seniorgal -- Thanks for answering my questions. I mistakenly thought you were in assisted living, but some of the same 'decline' issues apply. Here I have been dreading a decline into confusion, and now I'm wondering if that isn't a sort of *kindness* as one fails! (As long as one doesn't live on and on, demented!) You've always been generous with sharing your life stories from the past. Current experiences are also valuable here. Thank you.

Annie, I very much appreciate your post's comments:

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

• I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
• I wish I hadn't worked so much.
• I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
• I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I'm bringing this up because of the poignant posts from Mama Pinky.

Anyway, I will say that I have never done any of the thing top five regrets that you listed, except perhaps letting myself be happier, and I am working on that. The top four that you listed are the exact opposite of how I live, and it is very nice to get confirmation that I have been living more or less the way I should.

Kierkegaard said that some people think that the purpose of life is to work hard, but he felt that the purpose of life was to enjoy oneself. I've always agreed with Kierkegaard on this, and his philosophy has helped me live a happier life. Also, I've never been able to live a life that was not true to myself, despite expectations from others, although this was the most difficult one for me.

Lars, I enjoy reading your posts. They're thoughtful and considered, and you are such a good descriptive writer.