I'm so sorry for all involved. I would like to suggest you retain a lawyer to deal with the insurance company. We once had a incident where the insurance did not want to pay. The lawyer took care of that and submitted his bill to them and they paid that too.

pink, so very sorry to hear the sad news. Thank goodness everyone is safe and made it out okay. The only advice I have is to focus on the positive -- it could have been so much worse.

Yes, the only "up" side to some of this is that we actually do have a bunch of nice stuff that we have been trying to get rid of and downsize, so somewhere down the line we will be able to offer that up and also de-clutter on our end. It's not the loss of the value of the actual stuff, as so many have mentioned, it is the daunting task of rebuilding, which will take so much emotional and mental energy from folks who were already stretched. Of course we are not alone in this boat, many American families are stretched very thin. Speaking of thin, maybe it will be easier for me to cope with coming to terms with the fact that I am never getting back into my "thin" clothes is that I can give them to my daughter in law. She can wear them. The kids on the other hand, may feel differently about losing things, that while minor in value, probably had a lot of emotional ties for them. These are all children of divorce, so they're also already stretched emotionally. On the plus side, they do have loving families and friends nearby.

Also had a total loss house fire. What would I do different? Find and hire a good adjuster, who was experienced and skilled in dealing with the insurance company.

Sending good thoughts.

Regarding insurance. There are two types of personal insurance for homes that are owned. At a very high level, here are some of the differences

Homeowners Insurance if for when the titled owner lives in the property. It covers things like structure, additional buildings (think detached garage), liability and personal property.

Dwelling Fire Insurance is for the structure when the titled owner does not live on the home. It covers structures and liability.

The person actually living in the property would be responsible to cover their own personal property under Renters Insurance.

If you did not have the right policy to cover the living situation, you may need to retain a lawyer. Again, this is very high level. Start with your insurance agent first.

I'm so sorry pink! it's horrible when these devastating kinds of accidents happen.

From a practical standpoint helping them with immediate needs is a good place to start. I 100% agree with the care package thing. It is sometimes even difficult to think about toothpaste when something has happened.

Make sure everybody has a good warm safe place to sleep a good hug at night or whenever and good food.

Therapy might be needed for the children's losses fears and any confusion and even the adults can benefit due to guilt and so on.

Otherwise I think it's a case of put one foot in front of the other and as things come up deal with them as best you can.

Also try not to project your mind too much into how bad things are going to be in the future or how bad things got. Just try to work on you and your family's present day situation.

My instinct is always to hide under the covers and that has never turned out well. So I really now believe in if you have a problem like a loss like this you deal with each thing as thoroughly as you can as it comes up.

(That has saved my life. I guess due to that whole proactive thing. I use the phrase to myself I feel guilty but that won't get the job done and then I get to work. And believe it or not it has gotten me closer to my goals but that is another story.)

Prayers said. Best wishes for you and your family. I hope you find and get all the help you need.

I am so sorry for your family. Thankfully everyone is OK and you will all weather this.

I'm so sorry. What a terrible shock to the family. An insurance advocate can be a real help when dealing with a stubborn insurance agency.

I am so sorry that you and your family have to deal with something like this. I agree with the other posters who suggested hiring an attorney. It's not easy to deal with insurance companies. Two of my friends had to deal with house fires that destroyed their homes - in both cases it was a prolonged and nasty battle.

I'm so sorry to hear about your family going through this. Thankfully, all are safe and hopefully, the insurance will cover everything. No one needs that kind of stress in their lives; I hope it's sorted out quickly for all of you.

Thank goodness the family was able to evacuate safely. Sending good wishes for strength to deal with the stressful job of recovery.

I can just offer virtual hugs..it is devastating

My brother had just the time to pick up kids and drive away as fast as he could -there were wild fires spreading over their area. They could come back in 3 or so days..and they saw their place -luckily-untouched.

But it's very scary experience even when a house survives.

And the feeling of loss must be huge.

Thanks goodness they're safe.

I'm so very sorry. You're already doing everything you can. Insurances can be a pain to deal with, that's for sure. I hope they will have somebody..normal to deal with. Or get a representation that will help them to deal with things, if needed.

Can I be helpful in something? Practically speaking. I've no idea where they live of course..and I hear from you they do have family and friends nearby, so that's good. But who knows.

Again, hugs, and lots of strength to deal with it all.

ETA: as yeonassky-I also think most helpful in crisis is to try to think in terms of "today", "tomorrow", "after tomorrow"..step, then another step. Found it helpful throughout my life too. Otherwise gets very overwhelming and depressing to the point it's harder to fight at all.

Oh how awful. I'm really sorry to hear this. I'm glad everyone is safe and okay, and hope everything is sorted out soon with insurance. What a devastating ever, and I agree therapy may be needed for the kids if they are on emotional thin ice already.

I am so sorry, pink. There are of course the 2 different things, the emotional aspect and the financial aspect. Both are of course important and would likely need the aid of professionals. On the financial side, I would talk to a private adjuster or lawyer to represent you and handle the dealings with the insurance company. You need somebody to represent your interests. At the very least, I would interview a private adjuster to see what they may be able to do for you. At your distance and the complexities of coverage with someone else living in the house, it is definitely worth the cost.

I just had a "minor" kitchen fire. We got it out with only smoke damage. The cabinets didn't catch on fire, and the fire department didn't have to use water. It did kill the over-the-stove microwave. This was February 26th and we still have no kitchen. No, to be honest, there are a ton of claims for flooding in North Alabama right now, which I am SURE has slowed everything to a crawl.

1. No one died and no pets died. Everything else is just aggravation.

2. Y'all had a more serious fire, but still everyone is okay.

3. They can clean more than you think! (At least as far as clothes, furniture, and toys/stuffed animals.)

It will pass. Get a notebook and notebook paper and keep notes of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE you talk to.... Trust me, you will not remember what they said (or when).

4. Whatever ends up covered or not covered, is distressing, but not the worst that it could be. No one or no pet died. That is what I keep telling myself. We have had several in my area since my fire, and pets and people have died.

5. The cat is sick and I had been texting the vet and got distracted for 60 seconds and I had a grease fire. I thought the burner was off and it was not.

6. You can message me if you want to talk on the phone.

It was a 1920's wood home without a lot of the modern fire-stop features in the framing. That's why the damage was so extensive. Houses very close together so I think the main concern of the fire department was to keep it from spreading to homes next door. We won't know the whole extent of the damage for a while, but our son is just shell-shocked, it is "all gone" as far as he is concerned. He gets very upset just going near there. Kids are set up to get counseling. We are making arrangements to get out there as soon as we logistically can. Family in the process of boarding the place up.

(((Hugs))). It is probably not as "gone" as he thinks. Kitchen, yes, structure, iffy, furniture, as I said it is amazing what they can do with smoke damage.

ETA: They are even able to restore photos and paintings.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't have any good advice. I know a couple people who lost homes in California wildfires in the last couple years. One figured that she would enjoy herself while her home was being rebuilt and rented a house 2 or 3 hours away in Santa Cruz, near the beach (she worked remotely so could relocate easily).

(((Pink))) So sorry this happened. Grateful that the family was all able to escape.

No advice just want to say how sorry I am for your family. I hope everything works out with the insurance company. Xo

What a shock. It is a lot to deal with, that's for sure. If your husband was not leasing and collecting rent and an immediate family member was living there while he still had full access to the place (not restricted per a lease), I think you may need to get an attorney, ands I don't usually suggest that until there are problems, but this sounds like a problem starting -- and the sooner they act the more likely some tings may be salvaged. Delay benefits no one. They rate tenants differently because they don't own the property and don't exercise the same level of care -- it's a higher risk. He still owned it and family was living there -- they had the same level of care and concern -- as evidenced by the fact that they were maintaining and improving the property. The loss was not one of neglect. It was a kitchen fire that could happen to anyone. I hope you and they are able to get them turned around.

So sorry they are going through this, but glad everyone got out. Wishing them the best outcome going forward.

A good reminder to have fire extinguishers around the house as a first line of defense. I need to check mine as they have been sitting in the spots we placed them in when we bought the house 9 years ago and they probably need to be refilled or replaced.

I am so sorry this happened. Saying a prayer for the whole family.

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry. Prayers that everything gets situated and sorted as quickly as possible. What a difficult situation. :(

I am so sorry you had this disaster. Am grateful that there was no loss of life. There will be giant amounts of paperwork in your husband's future, I'm sure just you being there to help make sense of it will be a relief for him.

Pink, so sorry to hear about the fire. Relieved everyone is ok. For what it is worth my DH’s house had a terrible fire when he was 10. It happened the night before his birthday party. The party was in the morning and his mom was getting stuff prepped so she decided to throw laundry in the dryer before going to bed. A squirrel was attracted to the warmth in the dryer vent and the rest is history. He remembers the subsequent months of vagabond traveling while the house was resurrected as a wonderful adventure but still feels ripped of because he didn’t get his party.

I hope your kids memories will be like his.

I am so sorry your family is going through this.

I live in a 140yr. old wood frame house. Fire is my worst nightmare.

I'm so sorry... the main thing (being that all the people got out safely) would be the loss of photographs. HUGS to them and all their/your extended family.

Sorry the insurance company is being a PITA. On top of everything, no one needs that.

About half a year ago, I bought a couple fire extinguishers. One is in the kitchen, and I try to remember to check it monthly. Things do happen so fast sometimes that even that may not help, and there are times when it is better to leave than take chances - but anyone reading this, have one/several handy. For sure one in the kitchen!

PS - know how to use it in advance - aim at BASE of fire. Read all instructions when you set up. Get a multipurpose dry chemical one.

Doesn't help you now, but know that my thoughts are with your family.

Very hard to do "coulda shoulda woulda" with our son when he was standing on the porch of the ruined house crying over the phone. It was an old, wood frame house, the fire extinguisher was located in one corner of a small tight kitchen, not sure if he could have even reached it and trying might have cost him his life. With three young children in various parts of the two story house getting ready for school the next day, their main focus was on getting them out safely, which they did. They did not go back into the house to try and get to fire extinguishers to try and put out the fire. Our son could have died from smoke inhalation trying to save the house, and I am much happier that all made it out alive. 55 fire men were there in seven minutes, with five fire trucks. Due to the construction of these old houses, it basically went up like a tinderbox, with smoke everywhere. The problem is that there is basically no way to rebuild parts of a 100 year old house when the whole framing structure is not up to code. Time will tell. The houses in that neighborhood are all old and close together, so the main focus on the fire department was not on "saving" that home but to keep it from jumping to the next door houses. Lots of damage to windows and walls.

They did EXACTLY what they were supposed to do. There was a person that died just a couple months ago near here, because after he and his wife got out, he went back in to try to put the fire out and got overcome by smoke.

Hope y'all get better news about the insurance company.

I'm so sorry this happened, pink. Also so glad nobody was hurt.

What a horribly experience for all...(((((pink))))))

I'm so sorry your family is going through this, pink. Glad everyone made it out safely. I can't imagine how scary it must have been for them trying to get the kids out and watching their home destroyed.

We had a fire a few years ago. Also in a 100 year old house. After some back and forth, the insurance co. agreed to restore rather than tear down and rebuild.

You mention PTSD and I have to concur. One of the biggest changes I experienced after the fire was this tense feeling all the time that something bad was going to happen. It was as if our safe little bubble had been popped and there was this awful vulnerability to disaster. I wish I had advice on how to handle things, but I really feel like we just muddled our way through and things got slowly better over time. My youngest DD had the hardest time with it and it took a couple of years before she seemed to return to herself - however, she was a pre-teen at the time, so it's likely not all of what she was going thru was due to the fire.

I think insurance works quite differently in the US than Canada. We had a third party adjuster assigned to us from day one and she helped us navigate with the insurance companies and contractor. It made things much easier. Also DH is very conservative about all things financial and we have always been insured to the max.

I wish you and your family strength as you all go through this. I'm not sure if any advice I have would be relevant, but please don't hesitate to ask if you think there are questions I may be able to answer.

I’m so sorry to hear this pink! it must be a harrowing experience!

Such a dreadful experience for all. Your son and his wife are heroes. They got themsleves and the children out of the house safely. That is all that matters.

Before we met, my husband's parents had a house fire. It was a total loss. His father, a retired career firefighter, was killed in the fire. Mother had minor injuries. Adult son who was visiting had extensive burns and spent many, many months in the burn center. Therefore, I am really happy that everyone made it out alive and physically unhurt.

My husband handled all the insurance and tells horror stories about it. They tried to point the finger at everyone and find a way not to pay. When they rebuilt (it was an older home) they tried to cheap out on materials and cut all kinds of corners. He did have to fight them tooth and nail and finally got an attorney involved, which ended the shenanigans. He does say he wished he had hired the attorney earlier.

He does talk about the "punched in the gut" feeling when he finally saw the house. A few days later, when he could kind of walk through the house, he had the same feeling many times as he found remnants of things that he had grown up with. He is sick to this day about the many photos especially that are gone forever.

I really feel for you and your family. It will be a long road but everyone will come out stronger on the other side.

The insurance company should pay to rebuild a brand new home in its place. We have coverage that is almost $300,000 to rebuild in the event of a total loss which is way way more than the houses are selling for in this area...but building a new home is quite expensive. But that's why we have insurance, in the event of such a loss!

I'm so sorry for your family. Sounds like you have received some great advice here. Hugs.

Yes, Pinkmountain, best that they got OUT!

(Apologize if my earlier post sounds like a "shoulda done" - admitted there I don't know the situation, but reminding folk not (yet) in that situation to add safety features if they haven't already done so - and not to be afraid to EXIT because lives really are most important.)

Hugs and good thoughts.

Just saw this, I am so sorry for this terrible trouble, Pink. I am grateful your son was able to ensure his children were evacuated and safe- what a blessing in the midst of this ordeal. I would hire a lawyer immediately. Knowing what the rules of the game are is vital and I would not trust the insurance company to school me, or the internet. {{{{{{Pink}}}}}}}

Yeah, now we are in the process of trying to find a good lawyer. Not easy but I have feelers out. Hubs has already gotten some calls from ambulance chaser types. Very worried also about security. My husband is kind of the king of avoidance and he's in pretty bad shock and depression so I'm trying to help as much as I can. Our son is even worse off so we are trying to do as much as we can to take on some of their burdens. I've put together a clothing care package for our daughter in law, most of the stuff was going to Goodwill anyway, with my recent weight gain.

Have you made your notebook? It was a suggestion from the owner of the company that did the cleaning. It really helps. Just a cheap binder with ruled notebook paper. Day and date with names, phone numbers, and notes of what was said. I just started on the first page and kept going. The front of the binder had a pocket that I tucked the business cards into.

Do you have Nextdoor? Ask on there for recommendations for a lawyer. I'm sorry you have to get one, but it seems like a good idea. Don't trust Angie's List. There have been problems here with what was recommended. Seems the more the company pays, the higher the rating.

We were very lucky. Not that bad and our insurance has been great so far.

Don't try to look at the entire job. Make a list each day for what is the most important to do that day. Think baby steps. If you do one thing, that is one thing finished.

I told our adjuster what happened to you and he said that was very common with older houses and that your son did great getting everyone out. He said that after our fire there was one in the older part of town that the lady that lived there did not survive. The firemen could not get her out. She was on the second floor.

Yes I don't know if some of the kids might have been upstairs, but perhaps and that would have been a top priority, to get them out because if the fire spread to the upper wooden cabinets in the kitchen downstairs, it was just a hop to the second floor and there was a cedar closet above the kitchen.

Hubs has started a notebook. We've had some leads on getting a lawyer. The age of the home is going to make rebuilding tricky. We'll see, time will tell right now we need to get a lawyer and find the son's family some temp housing. That won't be easy. Obviously they want to try and keep the kids in their same school for the rest of the year. They don't want to move out of town, but a family with two kids of modest means to find an apartment in their area is not going to be easy. That's why they were living in my husband's house. It was a win win because he was staying with me while I was living in my parents house dealing with their estate. We were all just about to embark on our own more stable lives after wrapping up some family difficulties, including his son's cancer battle and my mother's death.

Any way you can park a camper on the lot?

ETA: It may be a total rebuild, because of the age of the house.

This is in an urban area on the East Coast. Big houses on small lots, many houses close together, narrow streets and even limited street parking. That's why rent is going to be so expensive. If you've ever watched "The Property Brothers" and wondered how they charge so much for such run down houses, welcome to urban life in popular cities! Of course that is probably Canada, but there are similar places in the US.

Lpink, I wish you and your family the best wishes in dealing with this going forward. Please keep us posted on how the family is doing and the progress in getting the house rebuilt.

This forum is so helpful and I was so happy to see so many wonderful suggestions in navigating the insurance territory. Hugs to you!

Lpink I just wanted to add my well wishes. So happy everyone is safe but from what I understand, going through a fire or any total home loss is very traumatizing and involves grief. My best to your family.

Having lived through total loss 2 times in 2 years yes I feel that pain. The floods of Harvey took everything we owned and left us totally homeless with nothing, no clothes nothing. The PTSD is a killer! It's there every day and especially at night. Waking up reliving it thinking you are drowning it's a constant struggle. We at least were able to get a motorhome in the driveway to live in temporarily. At least they are able to rescue a few of their items and that's so important, they will treasure those items. It's a very difficult process and painful. They should consider asking for help especially for the PTSD! Good luck with the recovery.

I am so very sorry for your family. How devastating. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

I am so sorry for all your loss and sadness, and sincerely hope for better times to come.