Hello Dazed, I am so sorry for all you are going through. Deborah also. Death is such a thief and we are never prepared I think. Not wether it's a long drawn out illness or totally out of the blue unexpected. It's not easier one way or the other because hope is always present and we don't see our loved ones gone. Can't. My mom died in 1991, Fourth of July weekend. She had baby sat her granddaughters for the weekend and was tired. They were small, 4 and 6 and kept grandma running. :) She told my dad she was going to take a nap to be up to watch t.v. with him later that evening. He went to bed later and thought she was just going to sleep through the night and when he woke for work at 4:00a.m. she was gone. No look of pain or strain. Just, stopped. For my dad especially, it was devastating. My mom and I were close, I was an only child and was close to both of my parents. However, they were each others best friend. My dad was a railroad man for 36 years, my mom worked in a factory for Milton Bradley toys. She was happiest as a 'homemaker', loved her little apartment, to cook and have company over for dinner. She prized what she had because she grew up so poor. My dad passed nine years later and thankfully now rests next to my mother. It's all he ever wanted and unfortunately drank himself there. Just couldn't cope. Find peace. What I was wondering is what beliefs you may have that you find comforting? Do you have questions about death? Do you look to scripture for comfort? It's there. Everything you may wonder about. Where your loved ones are. What they're doing. What they're not doing. What is in their future and yours. I would be so happy to help you through your own bibles find these answers. It's nothing mystical or magical. It is what has always been available free of charge for any who look to it for help. It's what gets me through day to day. There is sure hope of seeing them again. As far as doing as your mom said, Dazed, I would take a job if she says she is fine. Busyness is best right now. If she has to keep busy, even if its dealing with a somewhat difficult younger sister...it's good for her. We all need to feel we're in control. Your mom too. She knows you're there and willing and simple words of encouragement and complement on each step she takes is going to work wonders. My mom never let my dad use the washer or dryer when she was alive. "I have my own system". she'd say. When she died I kept close contact with my dad and helped with meals and such, but, cleaning and laundry...simple mundane little things I left for him and to my great surprise he accomplished it. He also shrunk a few items but it provided some good laughs between us. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman. What she needs is space and hope. You too. You and Deborah both. Feel free to ask anything anytime, here or at rottenlivia@yahoo.com My name is Kim I'm a mom myself, a school bus driver and still a daughter. Always.

ncamy- In our unfitted kitchen we have full inset, partial overlay and full overlay. The inset and partial overlay are kitchen displays (1 hutch, 1 island and 1 small full kitchen) purchased when a local place was changing out their displays (from, I kid you not, 1978, we built in 2006). The full overlay were built on site by our contractor using drawer fronts leftover from a remodel of our previous house. All of the styles play nicely together (at least in my mind), and I like the contrast. If the price of all inset is too high, you might consider doing a mixture. Full overlay is probably my least fav style, and I don't think it can pass for inset for one minute, and anyone who thinks so is fooling themselves (IMO). Having said that, we have full overlay on some of our cabs cuz we had cab fronts (that morphed into drawer fronts) leftover from a remodel of a previous house and it was the cheapest way to get drawers next to the DW and on the other side of the sink. They are pretty chunky, and I painted them an intense blue paired with glossy black pulls, and they look OK. My whole house kind of resembles a jumble, so they don't really stand out. It's interesting that some folks have commented on the door thickness and molding thickness being a consideration of what looks pleasing to the eye, our partial overlay cabs are light maple, from 1978, and the doors are thin and the solid brass (gasp!) hinges are visible. I think the thinness and the hinges showing make them more reminiscent of the vintage kitchen circuspeanut posted (which I love, thanks cp). Here's a pic of our partial overlay maple cabs in our pantry. Good luck- sandyponder

This is what the budget looks like that we were given. As I mentioned before, we are also working with a fund control and they verify all purchases and receipts and will not fund a draw until the work has been verified as complete by the bank inspector and only fund draws according to the budget. Re the high permit fees: we are in southern California. The builders are working on another project right now where the fees were just as high. It's what they cost here in our particular area, so they knew what to expect, they just didn't plan for it. ETA: done if the permit fees were school fees ($8k) TIFF, building permits ($4k), septic permit, grading permit, park fees, etc. Each one is thousands of dollars and that's how they add up so quickly. I have all the receipts, those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. If a professional's help is necessary, we will seek it. For now we have a meeting with them on Friday to discuss this stuff more in depth and we'll see how that goes. We have a good relationship with them so far, and would like to resolve this between us if possible. Also, I don't know why my picture is upside down. Sorry. Also, also: in case it isn't clear, someone else (houses14) posted some issues they are having regarding windows that have nothing to do with my contract/permit fee question. Just to keep people from getting confused.

Uptown Gal, I clearly stated that ALL levels of education are important. And I admire people who have the determination to go through the rigor of getting a degree. The whole of my immediate family,save my mother and myself,have bachelors degrees and some have masters. Their work is important. So is mine. I was responding to a post on which not having a degree or making a ton of money was being equated to not having basic job skills or any pride in one's work. Perhaps you missed that one. And I was giving examples of personal experience in which people surely thought themselves better than I or others simply because they have a higher education. I say this because THEY SAID THIS. The girl that is in my department says ALL THE TIME that she is overqualified because of her degree. She also says that if our department were ever eliminated (where THAT came from I dont know) she thinks the company would find her another position within the company, because she has a a degree, but she doesn't know what the rest if us will do. Even the man who needed HELP was spouting about the "slow idiots who don't know how to make a tire." I wonder if he does.... The "no common sense " comment was referring to the man who could not or would not make the connection between an infestion of a rodent and removing it's natural predator. Not you or anyone else except the person I was talking about. I do not know you and so was not talking about you and I am not sure why you think I was. I gave 3 examples of 3 specific people. And I never claimed to be more intelligent than anyone. Not sure I am the one with an anger problem. Schoolhouse, it really doesn't matter if you believe me. That doesn't change the fact that i have to deal with this headache in a mail jeep. I wish it did. If you think I am a troll then refrain from engaging with me.