Oh yes it is stained. We've been in our house for 10 years. The floors are still (or were until I ruined them) beautiful oak, finished on site, stained and polyed with a non gloss finish. Sorry but I hate the shiney floor look. We have lots of pet, furniture and people marks all over but they hardly show. However this giant ugly orange stain from the plant basket...YUK!

As a mom, I understand your wife's feelings. I have two sons ~ 20 & 23. The 23 left at 18 because he didn't like my rules, he came back several times because he couldn't loaf in any one place very long... but when I allowed him to come back, he ALWAYS had conditions! Had to find a job... spend his day looking, not sleeping all day. He had to do chores... more chores if he wasn't working because he had more time. He had to pay $50 a week. and he had to follow our house rules.. no staying up all night watching movies or playing video games, clean up after yourself, and he could only fix himself meals when we were preparing our meals. (He was welcome to eat what we were having but if he didn't like it, he could fix himself something else... but he could only do so when I was making dinner~ not after all the dinner dishes were done & kitchen was clean, because even though he had to clean up after himself, he is not very good at it so we'd end up having to do it over.) Consequently, my son CHOSE to not stay with me very long.. usually a few weeks & he'd find someone's couch. That's why he came back several times. We stuck to our conditions and he kept coming back, hoping we'd let him slide. He eventually joined the military and has matured a lot in the last two years. But, I am also going through it with my 20 year old son... having to stay firm & consistent with the rules. If they don't like it, they are "adult" age and can go do something else. You should not feel like a prisoner in your own home & suspect your wife agrees but it's her son & she doesn't want to turn him away, but maybe is conflicted because she remembers how bad it was when he was there before... I feel for her. Oh yeah, if he is leaving Dad's because he doesn't like the rules or being told what to do, does he think it will be different in your home? I think this is one time you & your wife should get together with Dad & stepmom to have the same rules/expectations in both houses.

Wow. You guys are great! Thank you all so much for the kind words and encouragement. It helps a lot. And I see I'm not the only one in this boat! I do know that things will get better, and I can always plant new roses, etc. But it's just the loss of the rare roses that pisses me off. Why couldn't it be the more common ones that are easily replaced? Of course that's not the way it goes, altho there were a few of those too! And it's my fault for planting the tiny own-root bands in this crappy soil of ours before they've grown to a decent size. And it's my fault for not keeping on top of the sprinklers to be sure they are covering the entire beds, and my fault for not getting the most invasive weeds and underplantings pulled out when they were smaller. But... that's because I've been so busy, and overly obsessed and buying waaaay too many roses. I'm not growing and cultivating them, I'm collecting them. That's what I do. I collect things. It's sad. It's a sickness I guess. I know that in the coming seasons I will get all the beds done. And Bluegirl, yes I am doing what you said. I plant a rose, or weed part of a bed. In this heat, that's all I can do. It's slow going, but it's nice when I do get something done. Right now tho, I also am now dealing with the death of my 98yr old mom. We've been expecting it for sometime, but it's kind of surreal now that it has finally happened. My brother just flew out from Upstate NY and my sister is coming up from SoCal, so we will be dealing with all the estate and stuff over the next two weeks. I'm not going to get much done in the yard for awhile, except watering. Which is ok, since it's been too darn hot to work out there. By then it will be cooler and easier to do stuff outside. The only drawback now is the days are getting shorter, so I won't have as much daylight to get things done. Oh well, it'll get done when it gets done. LOL My life will be so different now. I'll have more time and less stress. Not that Mom was stressful. It was my niece who is my partner in the shop, and who lived with her. She's got mental issues and was a nightmare to deal with regarding Mom. Our lives revolved around her needs and wants, and my younger son and I had to go stay with Mom whenever she wanted to have time off. Now I have freedom, and so does Mom! She was trapped in her bed in a body that didn't work and a mind that was basically gone. I will miss her, but I will not miss the ordeals we went thru with my niece. And I will think of Mom when I'm out there working in the garden. Being out there will help me get over her passing. Judith, your chickens sound wonderful. We only have room for a few. (In fact we're not supposed to have more than 2... which is totally ludicrous... why bother?) Anyway.... we built a decent little shack for the girls and have a run that's 8'x24', but we're going to add another 10-12' in length and use our old satellite dish to put over part of it. It's going to be a fun and funky set-up for them. And next yr... I want some of those Blue Laced Red Wyandottes and Brahmas. Can't wait! Oh and I also am using weed barrier under some of my potted roses. Saves on weeds that's for sure. Altho they still get in the pots. But now I am sort of cultivating some weeds. Those are the goodies for the chickens! They love it when I bring them their "greens!"

I hope you won't shut up and knuckle under, Bart. Sounds like you came from an intolerant background. But you all do sound like an echo chamber. Guess it's nice to have common values. I think I value human rights too. Maybe re the bathroom issue human rights trump people's comfort zones, but I think forcing people on this issue is itself intolerant. People change gradually. IMO gradual change can be more lasting and more valid as it may come from the heart. Sometimes maybe there is not time to wait around for that. It's debatable. IMO Martin Luther King had it right as he didn't demonize anyone. He treated people like he wanted them to exist, to be around, to contain a different attitude and to relate to better to. Not to pound into oblivion, shame into like mindedness, trivialized, etc. IMO race relations and acceptance of gays got a lot better through the last half of the century and beyond. I think it came from the heart. From just living, discovering friends, finding that relationships were valuable, people who used to live more apart could work together. I know I took joy in it. The demonizing and force work against all that. The appropriation of identity politics issues. Some do it in a cynical way I believe.