Voting is a public event that most of us have in common. People like to feel connected to each other. I don't think asking if someone voted is anymore rude than asking a person if they watched the game today or if they had a nice holiday or if they have any plans for New Years Eve.

I see nothing wrong with asking someone if they voted. I have no problem with people asking me that. I can’t imagine anyone asking who the other person voted for. THAT is rude and fortunately not a societal norm.

Almost everyone I know is very politically engaged, so when I spoke to friends and family today, my question was "Have you voted yet?" They understood that I was asking "How was your experience?", i.e. were there lines, etc., and certainly didn't consider it either rude or nosy of me to ask. YMMV.

Bookwoman,to be fair, no one who asked ME was a friend or family member,or even a coworker. These were either straight up strangers or distant acquaintances that i see at work(not coworkers) every few weeks. I thought it was weird. As I said before,I live in an area where people LOVE to talk and argue politics. I don't.

amylou, in that case I consider it a bit nosy, but not really rude. You could always reply "Why do you ask?" ;-)

The only time I have asked any one if they voted, is when they have started to complain about an issue. If they say no, then I tell them if they didn’t vote, they can’t complain, and walk away.

" I tell them if they didn’t vote, they can’t complain, and walk away. "

Now, that's rude and also cowardly name calling. If you have an opinion about someone, why not stand and discuss it? What you're describing is like throwing an egg or a tomato at someone you disagree with and then running away.

That's not a rule I ever heard. Speech is free, people can say whatever they want, there aren't any prerequisites to doing so.

I think with this current election, as in 2016, there has been a lot about it on the news. Lots of news, campaigning, flyers in the mail. There is a lot at stake. One can't overlook the fact that today is an important election and that's it's on most people's minds. I think that is contributing to people asking other people if they've voted. I was asked several times today, both by people I know and some I didn't. I just replied and said "put it in the mail last week." No one further persisted and asked WHO I voted for. If anyone had, I'd probably just reply with a "wouldn't you like to know" type response. I just think the state of the country and having the opportunity to change things is contributing to the "did you vote" question, because it's important.

But if they said no, I ask again,what is your response? The polls are closed. People who didn't vote might not even be registered,and it would be too late to do so on election day. So a scolding,a lecture, or an outraged or passive aggressive response to an individual will not make an impact on this election. Such a question asked of someone who may not give the answer you want seems to only bring about negative reactions. Outrages or at least upsets the asker and irritates the askee. So why ask?

Did someone say there were cookies where they vote? I need to move!

just kidding, although I saw so many people at the early voting with their Starbucks cups, maybe Starbucks could be the polling place?

I did something I rarely do, I deleted a comment I'd typed. It was lighthearted and joking but some might have thought it not in good taste. I try to avoid being offensive, contrary to what some may think.

IMHO, yes it's a rude question.

This poll is about 50/50 so I would say that is why they hand out those stickers. Those that are not insulted by the question can wear the sticker. The only people who ask me who I voted for are my students. I LOVE teachable moments and the opportunity to tell them that is not a question asked in polite society. My take is because you ask does not mean I am obligated to respond and a simple "I prefer to not answer that question" should not be difficult to respond with. It is not an occasion to get your feather's all ruffled!!! What is this bent we are on, becoming rude or insulting at the drop of a question???!!!

I don't think recognizing or seeing something as rude is the same as feeling insulted,or getting ones feathers all ruffled. There is a difference in thinking, "well that's rude." And thinking, "How DARE you!"

I love reading all the perspectives on this thread. How interesting people are. I love to be asked if I voted. I always say that I voted in the first election I was eligible to do so and have not missed one opportunity to vote since. I am proud and grateful to live in a country where I have the opportunity even though I may not always like the results.

It sounds like the people in amylou's post have bought into the Newt Gingrich concept that politics is a team sport where you're either "with us or against us". Politicians are afraid to compromise on any issue because they can't survive outside the team. It's all or nothing now. That's what I see as the biggest internal threat to our country.

No one has mentioned a few items. Where I vote you receive an "I voted" sticker so most people are wearing one by the end of the day so no need to ask. Some states participate in early voting so a fair amount of the population voted prior to election day.

I started Bible study with something like "I hope everyone took an opportunity to vote, we can leave the results in God's hands and focus on glorifying God." Assures no more discussion on the election during that time.

Lyft offered half off rides to the poll, I suppose under those circumstances their request that one enter a special code if one is going to vote is permissible.

While I don't think it's rude to ask, I don't think it's the most polite way to broach the subject either. I don't think "who you voted for" is necessarily the next question either...esp in this political environment.

If the purpose is to remind people to vote, I do it by mentioning what I'm wearing. I wear white, purple and gold on election day which are the colors of women's suffrage in honor of those brave women who fought so hard that I may enjoy the rights I do today. The women I mentioned it to all found it very interesting, they're reminded it's election day and no one is prying into their personal politics.

Not at all. You just don't ask who someone voted for.

Amy seems to be surrounded by rude people or pigs where ever she is!

Iris (hi!), my much loved British SIL married my brother over forty years ago when he was in England getting his PhD. They moved here with one baby and had another after making the move. My SIL never felt the urge to become a citizen until less than twenty years ago.....because she wanted to vote, desperately so.

She had very strong feelings about politicians and politics and wanted her opinions to mean something, dammit! When she took her exam and the oath of citizenship, we (her family and friends), gave her a bunch of blank picket signs and a megaphone as part of her celebratory gifts.

She spends weeks prior to an election asking people if they're registered, need a ride to their polling place, or simply need help. Some voting sites aren't equipped to provide help to people who cannot stand in line a long time! No longer the case in her community! She is an inspiration for all of us who know and love her.

So, NO! I don't think it's rude to ask someone if they've voted, not at all.

I took one neighbor to our polling location (tossing her wheelchair into the truck, and also took my youngest Sprite, who begged to go along. One gal is pushing 90 and the other is barely 8.

Like so many things, the tone in which it's asked is key. If I were pounced upon like AmyLou described, I'd hate it too.

Me, my husband and our daughter often discuss an election before it happens, and we feel and vote similarly. I avoid discussing politics with the rest of my family ... can't trust that they are "correct" like me <- joking about "correct like me", of course -- I hope I'm making good choices but life is complicated so who knows in the long run?

I would be more likely to say "don't forget it's election day!" and leave it at that. I'm a grown up and don't need people telling me what to do or when and I try to treat others like that.

Politics, religion and sex are still the things not to talk about. Isn't asking if someone voted just a lead in question to get more information anyway?

"Isn't asking if someone voted just a lead in question to get more information anyway?"

I've never felt that way at all. Still don't.

I think it depends on who you ask. I asked my husband if he voted when he came home yesterday and we talked about who we voted for and why. That was fine. However, when I bumped into someone I barely knew at the grocery store, I did not ask her about voting. In that instance it would have been inappropriate.

Aren't there are MORE than enough reminders out there about getting out to vote? I don't need to serve as a further reminder.

IMO

rhizo, I think it's a whole different thing to work to get people to the polls, to see if people need help in order to vote, etc. than it is to ask people if they voted.

I'm curious why anyone would even ask that question? What's the follow up? What's the purpose in asking if someone voted? It's really none of anyone's business, thus I think it's rude to ask.

Did you brush your teeth? Did you return your library books? Did you pay your taxes? MYOB

"Politics, religion and sex are still the things not to talk about."

I don't agree with this. All of these topics are appropriate in some but not all circumstances. This hackneyed list suggests topics sometimes best avoided, especially in the workplace or when in the company of people one is not well acquainted with. These and other topics tend to trigger feelings and disagreements. There's a time and a place for everything.

I'm with oly. There's no requirement to vote nor obligation to tell anyone about it. In the old days of my visiting a physical polling place, I never took one of those "I voted" stickers, it seemed pointless.

I know many who long ago tired of the political scene completely and have withdrawn. They don't vote, they (mostly) don't talk about politics - a reasonable and not all that extreme of a view in my mind.

Elmer, I guess you maybe right. It may very well be rude, but I try to say it nicely. I just feel that if one does not take the time to try and change something then I don't think I should take the time to share my view with them. It matters not to me if we are on the same side or not, as to me they did not care enough to try and voice their wishs. In my state it is just a trip to your mail box to vote, so no excuses ( as I see it) and now we can't even use the excuse " I didn't have any stamps" as it is prepaid.

It only seems rude if you didn't vote :)

I would not ask someone if they had voted, neither would I think them rude if they ask me if I had voted.

I was asked if I voted yesterday by a guy who entered an elevator with me. The minute the door closed we made eye contact and he didn’t hesitate to ask. It was obvious by the look on his face that he was excited and engaged in the process. I was too. I pulled my sticker out and with a smile said yup! Did you? And he said, “oh yeah! Took a half hour in line, which wasn’t bad, my friend had to wait at his voting place for over an hour. I would have waited too if I had to.” He was in the age group that doesn’t vote as much. It was good to see his enthusiasum and his energy made my day.

There is absolutely NO reason to ask someone if they've voted after the polls have closed on election day. To do so is nosy and borderline rude, yes! Asking who you voted for is definitely seriously rude and unacceptable.

I've been involved in politics and elections a number of times over the years. So yes, I am a firm believer that everyone should exercise their right to vote! And yes, during early voting and while the polls are open on election day, I am very apt to remind people to vote. But there are diplomatic ways to do it.

My rather warped sense of humor has been known to surface the few times I've been asked those questions, and it usually ties in with one of the issues of whichever election is in progress, especially if I know the political stance of the person asking the question.

Rusty

Well, I can tell you that yesterday at pulmonary rehab, everyone was asking everyone else if they had voted yet. NO ONE asked for whom anyone was voting, and the polls were still open. A couple of people said they had forgotten and would vote on their way home.

Perhaps this varies by age and in what part of the country in which one lives. In my area (flyover country) and at my age (75), it is not considered rude in any possible way. My polling place has about a 75% turn-out for elections, but the ladies yesterday said they thought it was even higher this year. Democrats and Republicans are nearly even with voter turnout, the Republicans bettering the Dems by about 1%. It's a small precinct - about 800+ registered voters.

Yes I find it very rude.

Reminding people to vote is one thing... which may include asking. Once the election is over, yes, then it's rude.

I've never heard anyone ask after. That seems a little odd.

I was asked again today. 4 times and counting. And I have only been awake 3 hours.

Maybe it’s the tone the question is asked in, the mood of the person being asked or both because I find it really hard to believe that anyone would be offended by someone who is genuinly just trying to make conversation about current events. The guy who asked me was so energized and upbeat about it, not invasive or offensive at all.

I don't really think it goes so far to be OFFENSIVE, just rude and annoying.

I wouldn't find it rude, myself, as I'm frequently chatty about different situations. Jockeying for a parking spot, how long I was in line, we had THREE different items for the same thing (legalizing medical marijuana) and only one could win, etc. I'm sorry you found it annoying, I would take it only as people striking up a conversation. Innocent until they go to that next level asking WHO or WHAT you voted for.

amylou321

I was asked again today. 4 times and counting. And I have only been awake 3 hours.

By strangers?? You are surrounded by aliens.

Yup. Rude,nosey ones.

I might ask whether someone had voted ... and when I wondered whether I might even after polls were closed, I thought that I might.

The follow-up would be that I value living in a land where we have a great measure of freedom and democracy and I feel that it is essential that we make use of our opportunity to vote, for in many places where people didn't bother (and to keep up their interest by letting the leaders know their views from time to time) ... they ended up with dictators, and they're often seriously hard to get rid of.

So I feel that we should all make use of our opportunity to vote and participate while the opportunity continues to be available.

As one of the major early U.S. leaders (Nathan Hale? ... my memory ain't what it used to was) said, "The price of freedom is eternal vigilance".

ole joyful

I don't think it is rude, most of the time it is just a conversation starter based on the major event of the day. What crosses the line is if the answer is no, the next question is "why not" or the asker launches into pressuring one to go do it.

I got lots of campaign workers calling and knocking on doors, many of whom would ask who I was going to vote for (and those did seem to be mostly affiliated with one party). I simply reminded them that one of the rights our forefathers fought for was the secret ballot, and they need to make their case without asking that. I doubt that any changed their approach, though!

"one of the rights our forefathers fought for was the secret ballot"

According to Wikipedia, the secret ballot was introduced in the US in the 1880s. I'm not sure anyone fought for it at all. Not unlike other things, we introduced this voting feature years later than did many other developed countries in Europe and elsewhere.

Campaign workers may ask who you're going to vote for. Physicians may ask personal questions about your love life and other rather private matters. That these people typically do doesn't mean anyone else in a general conversation should consider it appropriate.

Nathan Hale was the "only one life to lose for my country" guy. According to a quick search, the quote about vigilance was used for liberty, democracy, and other things by many people at many different times. Good quotes are often wrongly attributed. Including many attributed to Yogi Berra, like "It's like deja vu all over again", which he denied saying.

Its rude to me. I would answer with, "why do you ask".

Can't get over how many people find it offensive. Todays society is really butt hurt these days. Gotta be careful who you ask what or you get in trouble.

Most people who vote proudly wear the "I voted" sticker so you don't need to ask!

I agree Debby. I can't fathom how such a general question can incite such disdain!