Need Advice: Daughters First Kitchen
designsaavy
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (33)
designsaavy
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoRelated Discussions
College Aged Daughter... need advice please
Comments (6)One caveat, before I say anything else--I'm assuming that neither child was physically abusive to the other (and yes, abuse can go both ways, I've seen it happen). Abuse is a whole different situation. I'm going to go on the premise that they had a relationship, it didn't work for some ordinary reason and they went their separate ways--leaving, as usual, some hurt feelings (but not hurt bodies) behind. So you're saying your husband WANTS them back together, right? Okay, I know that's NOT what you're saying, but your husband must have the mentality of a 6 year old if he doesn't understand that the when you tell a 'just barely adult' NOT to do something, they'll fight tooth and nail TO do it, just to establish their independence. So if he keeps up his childish behavior, she's likely to get back with this guy--even if she isn't that thrilled with the idea--just to prove to her father than she can. And it will be on Dad's head, in that case. I don't think honorably, or dishonorably really enters into this--kids are kids--their relationships are (should be) practice ones at this point. They're not supposed to last, But they are supposed to be learning experiences. Even if she decides to get back with him, so what? She will learn more from the experience. Maybe she'll learn how mature adults manage to work through differences--that's a very good thing. Maybe she'll remember why they split up in the first place and learn that it's never wise to repeat a mistake in the future. Either way it's a step along the road to adulthood Guess your husband would be really frustrated with my dd--she has ongoing friendships with MOST of the guys she'd dated in the past. I'm very proud that she's mature enough to be able to make them work. Honestly, having been in that situation as a parent, I'm at a loss to really understand what your husband thinks he has to gain by being angry at your daughter. What should you do? Let your child manage her own social life. If we never let them make mistakes, they never learn how to fix or avoid them in the future. And you probably should have a long, long talk with your husband, reminding him how, as an older teen, when told not to do something, he no doubt rebelled and did it anyway. As the mother of a much older (29 yo) daughter, I can assure you the fastest way to get them to drop an undesireable partner is to step back and say nothing. The more you complain, the more you let them know you disapprove the more determined they are to hang onto a bad relationship, even after they've decided it was going nowhere. Your husband needs to get his act together, and soon, or he's going to alienate your daughter to the point where it may be difficult or impossible to repair the relationship. Good luck....See MoreAdvice needed on daughter becoming estranged
Comments (4)Tell her you love her and that you can explain when shes ready. Be very patient with her, no force or pressure! She's in a tough spot with her Mom pressuring her. If you pressure, she wont have a no pressure place to go. Her friends may help her to understand who the manipulater is. Yet she will still want to support her mom. Yet she must learn to let her fight her own battles. Give her time to grow. And let her sort out her feelings, with out you in the conflict in her heart. Your e-mails witll keep her informed of the baby and your love. Tell her enough about the house to keep her cognitive awareness real. Thank God for e-mail....See MoreNeed advice on accepting step-daughter
Comments (11)Wow! 23 and a college degree! I'm impressed. You must know it all, then. You say, " I've tried to get him to do it, but he's always too engrossed in his games to even notice when she's being bad." So why is he too engrosed in his games to parent his daughter? If , as he claims, "[You're] keeping him from his daughter," , why is he spending what little precious time he does have with her, playing games and ignoring her? You also say, "I've talked to him about a lot of the issues going on, and it seems to fall on deaf ears. I'm also pregnant, and seriously don't need this stress." So, why is he not listening to you? Why does he seemingly not care about the stress that you, pregnant with what will be the _second_ of your children together, are suffering? I would have expected a caring partner would want to smooth the way for the mother of his child. If, as you say, " It just started getting this bad about 4-5 months ago. ", what changed? What was different then (besides the behaviour)? But, seriously, if his contribution to parenting his children is going to continue to be playing games and ignoring them while allowing you to physically discipline them as you see fit and do all the watching and organising, IMO you'd be better off not marrying him and parenting two children on your own instead of three....See MoreAdvice on Kitchen Layout/Ideas (First Kitchen/First Home)
Comments (6)Luckily, I still had Firefox open so I didn't lose the hours of work I put into it...so here's my reply...again! Ideally, kitchen work flows from Refrigerator/Pantry --> Sink --> Range. However, some common sense does have to be present in that you don't want the refrigerator too far away from the range if you can help it. For example, if you have a refrigerator + 36" counter + 36" sink + 24" DW + 12" cabinet + range...that's probably over 9'...but you can usually do better than that. You also want to be careful where things like the DW are placed...you don't want it in the Prep Zone or in the direct path b/w the range & sink or refrigerator & sink. So, with these comments in mind... First a question...do you need the eating area in the kitchen? You mention a DR...would you be willing to give up seating in the kitchen for a spacious work area? If so, a couple of the plans below will give you that. If not, well I did some w/seating as well. I know you put appliances in specific locations, but if you're open to other ideas, how about something like the first two? They both maximize counterspace where you really need it...between the range & sink for prepping. While they both move the sink out from directly under the window, the still leave the sink very near the window. Since most people spend 70% of their time prepping and only 20% cleaning up, a prep space in front of the window seems like a nice setup. In one case, I added a corner pantry with 12" deep shelves & 15" deep shelves. Most people find that 12" to 15" deep shelves are deep enough and that 18" or deeper are too deep...things get lost. Myself, I have a corner step-in pantry similar to what I put in for you in Layout #1. All my small appliances except my toaster oven fit on the 12" shelves. The 15" shelves provide deeper storage "just in case"...it turned out my potato bins are 15" deep...so it was perfect! [Drywalled pantries are usually less expensive, btw, than pantry cabinets.] In the second layout, I added 5 feet of 18" deep pantry cabinets instead. With an 18" deep pantry cabinet, you have approx 16" to 17" deep shelves inside (account for front & back wall depths). In the third layout, there's a 33" pantry cabinet. (More on the third layout later.) This gives you 3 options for a pantry. Here are the first two layouts that are different than what you specified...note how open the kitchen is with these layouts and how much counter & cabinet storage you have. Layout #1 Layout #2 Layout #1A (Layout #1 w/an eating area) This next one has a small eating area...basically, room for two. It allows you to have a little more room for counters/cabinets than the full-size eating area. (It also shows you more options for seating in the kitchen.) Layout #1B (Layout #1 with small eating area) Layout #3 tries to give you the appliance arrangement you specified while also giving you some decent work space. However, notice how the refrigerator/pantry wall, especially, is "heavy". You come very close to creating a "black hole" corner b/c of the bulk of the refrigerator so close to the window wall. The other issue is that the DW is in the path b/w the sink & range...which is also the space that's most logical for prepping. This first one has the small eating area. It allows you to have a little more room for counters/cabinets than a full-size eating area. Layout #3 Layout #3A Full eating area (like in Layout #1A) ... Which is my favorite? Layout #1. I think it has the best of everything...lots of pantry storage + lots of cabinet & counter space and better balanced with respect to counter space than the others. If some seating is a must, then Layout #1B....See Moredesignsaavy
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agodesignsaavy
5 years agoRachael Owens
5 years agoHans Hinners
5 years agodesignsaavy
5 years agobeckysharp Reinstate SW Unconditionally
5 years agodesignsaavy thanked beckysharp Reinstate SW Unconditionally
Related Stories
KITCHEN DESIGNKitchen of the Week: Mother-Daughter Budget Remodel
Designer Stephanie Norris redesigned her daughter's kitchen with functionality, affordability and color in mind
Full StoryKITCHEN APPLIANCESConsidering a New Kitchen Gadget? Read This First
Save money, time and space by learning to separate the helpers from the hassles
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGNKitchen of the Week: Function and Flow Come First
A designer helps a passionate cook and her family plan out every detail for cooking, storage and gathering
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGNSmart Investments in Kitchen Cabinetry — a Realtor's Advice
Get expert info on what cabinet features are worth the money, for both you and potential buyers of your home
Full StoryMOTHER’S DAYMother-Daughter Duo: Their Skills Come Together in the Kitchen
A love of cabinetry drives these two designers to build custom kitchens. We ask them each 4 quick questions
Full StoryKITCHEN STORAGEKnife Shopping and Storage: Advice From a Kitchen Pro
Get your kitchen holiday ready by choosing the right knives and storing them safely and efficiently
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGNHouzz Call: Tell Us About Your First Kitchen
Great or godforsaken? Ragtag or refined? We want to hear about your younger self’s cooking space
Full StoryKITCHEN DESIGNKitchen Remodel Costs: 3 Budgets, 3 Kitchens
What you can expect from a kitchen remodel with a budget from $20,000 to $100,000
Full StoryMOST POPULARFirst Things First: How to Prioritize Home Projects
What to do when you’re contemplating home improvements after a move and you don't know where to begin
Full StoryMOST POPULARKitchen of the Week: Broken China Makes a Splash in This Kitchen
When life handed this homeowner a smashed plate, her designer delivered a one-of-a-kind wall covering to fit the cheerful new room
Full Story
Rita / Bring Back Sophie 4 Real