Update on my cancer diagnosis
7 years ago
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Update on K with pancreatic cancer
Comments (36)I so agree with folkv- keep the memories alive. It is so hard to know what to say and when to say it. But I feel that it really important to always speak of a child's parent. I think it can truly help them make choices in life even if that parent is gone. I have always tried to mention how my BIL would have felt about a given situation with both the kids and even my sis. He hated ties and I suggested to my sis that when his kids get married the groom should not wear a tie because dad would have thought that was funny. Would tick my mom off, she never liked my BIL, and that would have made my BIL laugh even harder. Even though someone has passed I feel their spirit lives on in us and can be so useful. ajsmama- I wondered how the service would go. Your post has brought me back 12.5 years to my having to watch my sis and her kids. It was something I would not even wish on my worst enemy. Please, stay in touch with these kids as much as you can. Family is so important even if it is just a card or call here and there. You seem to have such a caring heart, please share it with them. It will help you all. And one thing that is soooo important is that we allow ourselves to grieve and be sad. Everyone goes through the stages of grief but not in the same order. One may be quiet at first and yet the other is vocal. It may seem confusing but it is just our nature of processing grief differently. So don't be surprised by the kids behaviors, keep on your toes and don't avoid speaking about K no matter how difficult it may be. She is still their mom and always will be. Things, events etc will come up and it may feel uncomfortable. The best thing is to face things straight on. And you are right about the wedding thing. I told my sis that there is just no way to "avoid" everything without ruining the day. I told her that every guest there will be feeling the same thing, they all knew her dad. Sometimes the best way to deal with the sorrow is to not do the "oh, so sad her dad isn't here to see this" but rather "her dad would be so proud of her, this day is exactly as he would have liked it to be for her". I think it really is about how you choose to deal with it and to not focus on the sad but rather the joy of the day. She will figure it out and it will be a wonderful day. Again, wishing you all as much peace as possible....See MoreUpdate on my cat's cancer diagnosis
Comments (15)saitpfla--I am so sorry for your loss. Having lost two very beloved older cats, and a no-less beloved 5 month old kitten within a 4 month time span about 4 years ago, I feel your pain. I just wanted to pass on something, re: your less cuddly, and semi-feral ones. When we lost our kitten, we still had another kitten. We'd adopted her shortly after adopting the first, so they could grow up together. The kitten we'd lost was just the cutest, friendliest little thing. Our remaining kitten was gorgeous, but still quite shy (as many rescue kittens often are). Well, as time went on, this shy little kitten and I bonded so (perhaps in our grief) and she is now not only still absolutely gorgeous, but she is the biggest mush and quite the mama's girl, and an absolute nudge when she wants attention. Your other cats will never take the place of the two you lost, but you might find that they will "come around," and will bring you some comfort in the days, weeks, and months ahead. I wish you peace, and I wish you well....See MoreA wonderful update about my Mom/lung cancer
Comments (19)Kathy....GREAT NEWS!!! I'm so happy for you and your Mom. I hope and pray you get a good result from the blood and PET scans. If I could , I would do a cartwheel with you, but I've always been a klutz. Love, Dottie...See MoreUpdate on my Mom-Brain Cancer
Comments (24)Oh Nancy...my heart aches for your mom & you & yours. It is such a battle but with all of your love, encouragement and attention for her, the Drs' wisdom & meds to ease her pain and your mom's optimism..it's through all of our prayers that she find healing & comfort!...See More- 7 years ago
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