Interesting question! Personally, I think that the "traditional" gender roles are still practiced more often than not. However, the mentality behind it has shifted, and it's no longer an expectation that household chores are the woman's duty. The shift to many women working just as much as men has changed the domestic landscape, and now chores tend to be divided more evenly in that case.

It's interesting to see what people select for themselves. Everyone I know still divides their household into the traditional roles, with the women doing the bulk of the cooking and cleaning, and the men taking care of the outdoors/cars/etc due to personal prefence. I know I much prefer to cook than mow the lawn, and it's not because I feel that each job is only suitable for one gender.

I do know a few couples where the working arrangements change the chores distribution. If someone doesn't work, or works part time, they take on more of the chores.

I think this varies by region, by the education and socio-economic levels of the people involved, by the employment status of both, by the presence or absence of children, by job demands (travel, no travel, part time, evenings weekends, short or long hours, etc) and many other things.

From what I've seen, I think "traditional" was on its way out for many boomers of my generation and is mostly gone from my kids' generation.

We do what we are better at. I take care of all the finances even though I don't work outside the home. He is horrid at money management. He changes the oil and does most minor automotive repairs on our vehicles. I have the ability but he has more natural mechanical ability and is is faster at it. I do more housework. He helps when asked but I am better and faster at most chores than he is.

Basically I can trouble shoot and find solutions better than he. However his natural mechanical ability again comes into play along with his height and reach when it comes to physically doing many jobs.

We don't consider these speciafic duties. They are simply things that need to get done and we do them dividing the work as best we can to expedite things.

Who does do those things if your co worker won't? Do they hire everything out? He works too so he doesn't have to do anything at home either. Right?

I think individual households should set up whatever system works for them and that everyone is in agreement about. However, these arrangements can change over time as circumstances change (health, finances, lifestyles, having children, etc.), so there will be times when these divisions of labor need to be reviewed or updated. There are also times when one person may be doing more work than others in the home, but those things tend to balance out.

In our household, I do most of the cleaning and tasks that require organization. We share cooking duties and nightly kitchen clean-up. He does the laundry, grocery shopping, errand running, vehicle maintenance and home repairs.

We often work together on big jobs. For instance, we just put in new water lines and outdoor faucets and while he spent more time on it, I helped out quite a bit with tasks such as shoveling dirt, spreading gravel and clean-up.

Our next big job is to deal with a large tree that came down last winter during a snow storm. He will cut it up and I will load the cut up pieces into the back of the truck. We'll unload the wood together, he'll split it and then I'll stack it in the woodshed.

Watchmelol, her husband does them all,according to her. Her opinion is that as a woman, she feels as though she must be taken care of. As she has to work to help with finances, I gather her reasoning is that he is not fulfilling his "role" so she shouldn't have to either. I am specualting of course. But while she is a generally lovely person, she was and is spoiled by her parents and her husband almost to the point of her being obstinant about having to be a grown up and compromise. She once described cooking a meal for her husband(and herself) or having to wash and fold his(and her own) clothes as degrading. Though i think its funny that she doesnt feel its degrading him to do anything for her. We get 4 days off at a time, unlike her husband, who usually only gets 2. I dont think its a time issue. Its an attitude issue. So its an interesting dynamic going on there.

I wonder what she would say if she knew that i bring SO breakfast in bed every morning.......

I earn about double what DH earns. It doesn't bother either of us.

He cooks. I clean up afterwards. He pays the bills. I take care of the yard.

His main other "chores" include keeping our hobby cars running, helping me change linens, and taking out the trash/recycling.

My main other "chores" include dusting, mopping, sweeping, cleaning the bathrooms, and laundry.

He'll occasionally help with the laundry, and I will (once in a blue moon) cook some food. Although: I do help with our weekly food prep session on Sunday evenings (I wash/chop fruits and vegetables), and I've also been involved in engine rebuilding and oil changes. lol

Wow! That co-worker sounds like an entitled princess. It would be interesting to see how long it takes before she's a single mother.

I don't think couples have to follow traditional gender roles but do what works for them and suits each's talents. I do think that if both are working then both should share the household chores, while if only one is working then the other one's contribution should be the majority of the household chores.

Her opinion is that as a woman, she feels as though she must be taken care of.

Let me guess. She considers herself a feminist right? Probably dons her pink pussy ears and goes off to marches while her castrated houseboy works his butt off. I hope that child she is carrying is not a girl. She's not equipped to raise a strong, well adjusted girl. However did they manage to get her with child anyway? Did she take his testicles off the shelf and allow him to use them when she decided to get knocked up?

Colleenoz, she is. However, she and her husband have known each other since kindergarten,(they are both 21 or 22 now) and her parents spoiled her all her life. He knew full well what he was getting into, and appears to be content, so good for them. He rather enjoys catering to her it seems. But, as I said before, I do wonder how adding a baby into the equation will affect his AND her attitude. She already threw a tantrum because another coworker mentioned her pregnancy to someone else, AFTER she announced it herself on Facebook. As she put it, "It's MY business, and she(other coworker) shouldn't be talking about it." Uh........you put it on Facebook honey, its EVERYONES business after that. She didnt agree. (Throws hands in air)

It sounds like he will also have to take care of the baby along with everything else. She probably will be a good time mom. Meaning she will interact with the baby only after it is all cleaned, feed, dressed and in a good mood.

They are 21 and 22? That explains things a lot.

She's a snowflake, to be sure! :-)

Living in a rented apartment there are no outside chores to do, although we both shovel snow. It helps the landlords out, and we enjoy it. They mow the grass though.

I cook, he puts the food away and washes up.

I do laundry, I enjoy it, and he does any ironing.

He vacuums (don't all men like vacuuming?) He likes steaming the floors and will use the little machine to clean the hall carpet (cat yak).

I dust. We take turns cleaning the bathroom.

I do the bill paying and take care of the cats.

You say they are in their early 20’s so I suspect that “life” just hasn’t hit them yet, but once a baby is in the picture, one can only assume (or hope) that will change their perspective.

My DH & I are traditional in some ways and non traditional in others. We work well together as a team but more importantly, we are happy to do for each other. The way we see it is that life is short to fight over who will do what so if one of us is having a bad day, we work around it. I’ve always done laundry and managed the finances but if I needed him to step in to do it, he would.

Wow, interesting dynamic. I wonder if he enjoys being the protector/provider? I'm going to bet that this gets really old after a while.

We started out many years ago, with the traditional division of duties, but it has evolved. I pretty much do everything inside and out, except things like car and house repairs. But I only work part time, and DH works WAY more than I do. Also, I am a former accountant, so my head would explode if he touched the finances. We have two businesses, and I handle all of the office work for that. I also do the outside work, because I work for a lawn maintenance company, and that's just my thing. I often joke that he only does yard work if it involves fire or a chain saw. :)

He's pretty good about doing things if I ask. I help him if he needs step-n-fetchit. There are some things I do refuse to learn, because if I know how, it will become my job. No, I am not changing the oil in my car!

So to recap, both husband and wife work, yet he comes home and does ALL the household chores?

This seems odd and unbalanced, but I am not in their marriage.

I'm married 34 years and our division of labor is very traditional. I'm, inside the house, DH is financial and outside. Since DH always had a side business of owning and managing real estate, while working a full-time job, I could not imagine asking him to dust when he got home.

Now that he is retired, but still manages his properties, it is still like a full-time job.

But, I now have a housekeeper 2x a month. This was life-changing. DH was always against it as he didn't like the idea of someone going through our home. But, we solved this by not having them go into his home office.

When my sister's DH retired he took over everything and still does! He does all the house cleaning and shopping. He is a tightwad and loves to be in control of ways to get things cheaper. Now that she is retired, nothing changed. She does the laundry and I think she now might sweep and vacuum. But, it works for this couple.

Your co-workers' marriage seems very one-sided and it will interesting to see how things pan out.

My step-daughter has a friend just like the co-worker you describe. She is 40 and hasn't changed one iota. She walked away from her marriage and young child even though her husband worked full time, did all the chores, cooking, upkeep as well as all the child care. She said she wasn't "happy". He has since remarried a normal person and is reportedly very happy. She has had serial relationships, none of which made her "happy". She is, however, successful in her career.

Our son is 38 and his wife is 30. They just told us that many of their friends and co-workers (20-40) don't seem to comprehend much of anything beyond their own wants and needs and are unwilling to make compromises or adjustments for others. They blamed the prevalence and influence of social media on this age group.

Since the topic is gender roles, it reminded me of an incident that occurred at my work about 25 years ago. My boss had to look at a job in another state, and the client had a company plane, so the decision was made to fly, to save time. I wasn't present, but this was related to me by my boss, and the client, whom I knew as he was my contact whenever my company did work for him.

So, they get to the airport, and board the plane before the pilot. After a few minutes the pilot boards, and comes into the cabin to greet the passengers and explain the itinerary. The pilot is a woman. My boss almost s***s, and didn't want to fly, but is convinced by the client to do so, and so he does, and of course all goes well. Remember Archie Bunker on 'All in the Family'? LOL.

dragonflywings42 -- I misread your remark. You said that the prima dona left her child and a DH who did *everything*, after which HE married a normal person.

I thought you said that SHE then married normal person. I'd thought there was hope for her to be happy with a man with a spine. Oh, well.

What kind of partnership Is it when ONE person carries the whole load?

I am picturing the Princess in amylou's illustration as she delivers the baby and hands it off to her DH (or her parents). "This was *hard*. I'm done."

I think the person being described is young, immature, and somewhat ignorant of life and the world in general (as others have suggested).

21 or 22 and married ? That's a red flag about lacking judgement too, in my mind.

Unfortunately, adding years doesn't necessarily add maturity or good judgment for many people. Cluelessness and ignorance can be lifelong afflictions.

Elmer, my husband was 21 and I was 23 when we were married. More than 25 years later, we are doing very well. Work well together, too.

Marrying ages have been trending older for decades. Your own experience was quite awhile ago in our ever modernizing society. Late-20s and into the 30s is more common today, don't you think?

By waiting, careers have been started, the young adults have gotten to know themselves and to experience life a bit, and can make rational decisions about a partner and their life goals. At 21, no. Not close. Do you disagree?

Best wishes to you and continued happiness.

I agree that late 20's into 30's is more common in a lot of areas outside of the South and Midwest, which tend to skew younger. 21 seems VERY young to me to get married. I was a completely different person at 21 than I was at 31, when I did get married. Though plenty of people have married young and made it last, I think it's less common these days. My grandparents married at 18 and they are still together, but I think back then divorce was a much less viable option, especially for women with children, so there weren't many options if there were regrets or if one or both spouses had negative changes as they aged.

I'm watching a lovely little Netflix series set in the 50's and the married woman had a husband who cheated on her and abandoned her with 2 small children for his mistress, and still divorce was such a stigma for a woman in those days that all of her family and friends are encouraging her to do everything to win him back home where he belongs. That wouldn't fly these days with most people.

I only know a couple of people who were married before 30 (counting marriages in the last 10 years).

I don't think anybody can afford to get married at a young age anymore. These days getting a decent paying job with benefits with the same company till retirement is rare. Living on one income is also almost as rare.

My husband and I met in high school at 17 and 19. After university, we married at 22 and 24. We just celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary. Roles have changed and changed back over the years depending upon circumstances. It all boils down to expediency and respect of preferences.

We will celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary this year.

Of my two closest and oldest friends, one was married for over 10 years and recently got divorced, the other has never been married or had a serious, long term relationship but she is very strongly career focused.

Bear in mind that we do live in the Bible belt and I strongly feel that THAT has a profound impact.

We have had discussions amongst ourselves, speculating as to what works and what doesn't.

Out of my closest circle of friends and, indeed, the people in my general age that I grew up with, divorce was rare. Getting married young was also seen as the norm.

My closest (still single, 30s, never had a serious relationship) friend speculated, and I must say I'm somewhat inclined to agree with her, that there is an actual benefit to "pairing up" before you are fully grown.

My husband and I DID marry young. So young, in fact, that we weren't even fully finished growing.

We "evolved" and "grew into" our roles,

slowly, overtime, as a unified front.

I think that 50 years ago, the expectation was common that at 18 one was an adult and assumed adult roles and responsibilities (even though voting age was 21). Most of my friends of those who did not go to college were out on their own and self sufficient then. Not so now - I commonly hear 18, even 19 and 20 years old referred to as a "child" who must be excused for foolish actions.

About gender roles: back in the 1970s into the early 80s, when I was married and working, it was a battle to get spouse to recognize that all household chores (other than mowing or getting the car oil changed) did not belong to me. I suppose because that was the first generation that working wives became a common thing and our mothers were the stay at home wife whose job was all the housework. I do notice in my neighborhood of predominantly younger couples, that I rarely if ever see the wife out mowing, trimming, shoveling snow, or doing any other of the more physical work.