lucille, hard to top your ideas. Thank you.

I like giving compliments, in real life. (It's harder to do online, but still possible.)

The compliments have to be genuine, most people can sniff out phonies pretty quickly.

But a well-placed, real compliment makes almost everyone smile and brings a bit of happiness to the day

"Wow, you're great with Excel. I'm jealous!"

"What a fabulous haircut - it really brings out your pretty eyes!"

"I've always been impressed with your public speaking skills - how did you ever get so good at it?"

Real life examples I used just in the past week. It's important to know 1 out of the 3 was actually to someone I don't even like that much. But she doesn't mean to be annoying, she's just socially awkward, and she is really good with Excel and bailed my butt out when I got stuck. :-)

I had a very easy transaction with my banker today and we both commented on how nice it was to have a positive money-related dealing these days.

Backtrack to get the door for someone approaching with their hands full. Share a pretty view with someone, like pointing out a pretty flower arrangement.

Some friends and I will sometimes pick up a little somethin’ at the charity resale shop for each other. We know it didn’t cost much, so no need to worry about that, and it’s just fun. And if it gets donated back or forward, that’s okay.

Sometimes it’s just being aware of what’s going on around you, so you can act like you, and others, are fellow beings.

Even though it is a perfectly good word, do you know that NYT Spelling Bee will not take ”floof.” 😡

In light of all that's going on in our country right now, this has been much on my mind. I'm trying to catch someone's eye and smile, let someone go ahead of me in line, offer to return someone's cart, send a card, call someone I haven't seen in a long time. Thanks for bringing up this topic. "Little things mean a lot."

DH makes a point of ending a phone call by saying he appreciated the person's help. It's kind of sad how many people are surprised by that.

My DM taught me to try to attempt to soften the other person's disappointment when your answer must be "No".

I'm sorry to have noticed that this king of polite exchange is becoming rare except for older people. Younger people are impatient that your greeting is taking seconds of their oh-so-valuable time. (It's the equivalent of the old brush off, "Do I know you?")

I decided years ago that if I think something nice about a person, I should tell them, even if they're a total stranger. I always use "please" and "thankyou" with anyone performing a service for me. Yes, they're being paid for it, but politeness doesn't cost me anything and it generally gets me better service.

I think the universe knows if you are a nice person or not. I think there's like a "bank of karma" which you make deposits in with good deeds. I help others when I can, and when I need help there's generally someone around to help me.

I try to "treat others as I would like to be treated" as I was taught in childhood. I try to be cheerful, polite, positive and appreciative in my dealings with others. I'm happy to return someone's cart if I happen to be walking by as they finish unloading it. I don't mind letting the person with one or two items go ahead of me in line if I have a cartful. I'll hold the door or thank someone who holds the door for me.

I've noticed since I've been using a cane, people are much kinder to me. I guess I've reached the harmless, little old lady stage of life. 😉

@bbstx, I was disappointed this morning that floof wasn't acceptable to the bee, too.

I still try to ”acknowledge the other person’s humanity” by saying hello, thank you, good bye, have a good afternoon, everywhere I go. People do seem to appreciate it. Don’t overdo, just be human. Be nice. Even on the phone, I have had good results telling, for example, the IRS phone rep or the faceless brokerage person ”that was so helpful, thank you”. When I worked in customer service roles, I always appreciated people telling me that.

I always thank service people for every little thing they do. If it's an internet problem and someone is helping, I will effusively thank them and tell them how much I appreciate their kindness.

One of the things I do is have a joke/pun for the day ... often from the smiles thread. I tell it to the cashiers and the other service workers I run into. When I was in pre-op, I had a lot of fun telling the nurse a lot of medical jokes that had him "in stitches". One cashier at the grocery told me she always hoped I picked her lane to check out as she wanted to hear my joke. Made me feel good. It not only lightens their day, but it makes me happy too.

I am too often really irate by the time I get through a phone menu/AI to a human being, and I always apologize before hand saying that I know it's not your fault but I'm already angry because of the difficult, often defective menu. And I always thank them for their help.

On the phone, I always ask the CSR’s name, partly to be able to say who I spoke to if another call is necessary, and partly because I end the call thanking them by name.

I recall once, I couldn’t understand what she said when she gave her name. I asked her to repeat it because I didn’t hear it. She repeated it, in the same tone, volume, and speed, so I still didn’t quite hear it. I said I still didn’t get that, can you spell it? Her reply was just like it sounds. Ok, but I can’t quite hear you so that doesn’t help, and it was an unusual to me name, which was adding to my inability to distinquish it. The call did not improve from there but I still thanked her by what I think was her name at the end of the call.

Great thread.

Yes, I try to be that "nice older woman" and not a "cranky old b*tch". I try to smile all the way up to my eyes. If I see someone with an outfit (or sweater, or whatever), I will casually say something like "what a beautiful ....". I, too, like others have said, try to remember to thank someone for their time (such as if I need to contact a help line either via "chat" or phone call.

I appreciate all of the great ideas here and will try to integrate them into my days. I know that I sometimes get too involved with my stuff and these reminders of courtesy are helpful.

lily, I have often wondered why people thank me for cashiering at the grocery store. What you said may be why. I rarely get thanked for proofreading medical textbooks, or uploading grant stuff, setting up little meetings (the big ones 100+ attendees, I always do), answering emails, organizing and running my weekly seminar... Both types of work, I am just doing my job. I appreciate you enlightening me. Sincerely.

Speaking of cashiering, my favorite way to make someone's day is monetarily. I will discount any way I possibly can. I never say no. I find a way. It's fun! and it creates good rapport. Sure, I am always kind and do what I can to make people smile/laugh, but helping that way is becoming increasingly important. So I use the tool my organization will let me use.

I always taught my baby, everybody has power, so be sure to use yours to do good in this world. And we do. We have the power to make or break someone. Be kind!

rob, speaking about being thanked at work reminded me of a story from decades ago (dial up computer era). Without getting too in the weeds, the professionals had to put together information which the data person then input into a program to aggregate, who then returned it to them to verify their data was input correctly who would then return it to the data person with any corrections. One fellow handed his in while another was there and at the top of his sheet was "Great job!!". She was incensed as no one ever put anything complimentary on the top of her sheets! He laughed and said, "I write it myself!"

Annie, that made me laugh!

I always say we grade our own papers.

I do the NYT crossword every day. My husband prints it off of the epaper we get. One for him, and one for me.

When I’m done, I always give myself a big check mark, a star or two, and a comment.

I'm always nice and appreciative to people waiting on/helping me. If someone asks how my day is going, I always say it's great so far and ask about theirs. I shop a lot at Trader Joe's and their employees are just the best. Once in a while, if I have a big order, or am buying a case of sparkling water (which I often do), the bagger will ask if I need help getting it to my car. If it's a beautiful sunny day, I say "Sure" because I know it gets them outside for a few minutes. If it's pouring rain, I just do it myself.

I always tip when possible...once in a while I'll take my teen grandson through a fast food drive up because there is no time to get home for a meal before he's due at another place. I always tip them and they often seem surprised, but I know they aren't making much $.

If I've been having some kind of a problem and need customer service via phone, in those cases where I am REALLY frustrated about something and they provide a solution, I tend to get a little carried away, declaring my undying love for them. I'm sure it gives them a laugh.

I do get exercised with the automated phone systems and will often yell at them with a sense of great satisfaction. When I get to the person, sometimes I do get frustrated and expressive of that, but I always include that I know it's not them personally that I'm frustrated with and that they are probably as victimized by the firm as I am.

I always thank people for their time, whether on the phone or in person. My favorite thing to do lately is compliment women. I'm an introvert and usually keep to myself in public. But I find that when I like a woman's blouse or her hairstyle, I'll just come right out and share that. Being kind is free.

" I do get exercised with the automated phone systems and will often yell at them with a sense of great satisfaction. "

You get angry and yell at a computer? And find that satisfying?

I worked in retail on and off over the years. If a store is well-kempt and it's just the employee and I in the space, I often say, "The store looks really good". Most people beam when I say that. Picking up after customers is often hard and thankless work.

deegw -- Right! Last week the young man who stocks the produce shelves at a chain grocer was clearly amazed when I told him his display was gorgeous.

I communicated the same thing to an non-English-speaking older man at another store by touching my lips and smiling broadly, gesturing to the beautiful fruits. His face lit up.

Such small things!

(I do love seeing all that fresh produce under the halogen lights. Nature makes colors more beautiful than jewelry -- which you also see under halogen.)

I try to be nice. Really, it's as simple as that for me.

I do get exercised with the automated phone systems and will often yell at them with a sense of great satisfaction.

That right there is great floof material, I hope you don't mind that I floofed the idea.

You would be truly amazed at how so many callers to my DD at work (CS for a bank) are not just rude and demanding, but yell obscenities and make threats even, when she has to explain that the bank has not made a mistake or messed up their transaction (often it is just that they don't understand how the various aspects of banking/checking/savings/CDs work - like that the bank can't credit a transfer in that hasn't yet arrived from the sending institution, or that they can't get an increased rate on their CD just because the Fed raised interest rates.)

So I have become particularly conscious of telling any CS person that I appreciate their work, and thank them for their time.

I also try to throw out quick compliments to someone that I encounter, such as a "what a lovely coat (or hat etc)" The sudden, surprised smiles that appear also make my own day!

"You get angry and yell at a computer? And find that satisfying?"

Yep. It's a way to vent my frustration with absolutely no consequence. The computer doesn't care, there's no person there to get hurt, I alleviate my exasperation and it passes the time until I get to an actual human who may or may not help me.

The last time I got to a human at the bank, it took them 20 min to verify that I was who I was despite the fact that I've been doing business with them for over 40 years and had no idea why they didn't have my DL# on file. I even mentioned to her that we'd been at it for over 20 min and are we going to get to my actual question before next week?!? I get that they are trying to protect from bank fraud, but after giving her all my info, and answering over 5 questions about my identity and specifics on transactions within the account, and then telling me that even though we had a joint account, and I gave her the specifics on the failed transaction I was trying to accomplish, she needed to hear from DH who then answered her questions and then telling me that she was working only with *my* profile etc. (So why did I need him and what if he's not around???) Finally we got to my actual issue and another 15 min later we had it resolved as best as we could, except that, she warned me that they also might put the transaction on hold and I'd need to call customer service *again* to verify in order to release the funds....well, let's just say I was almost bald with pulling my hair out. So then I went to the actual bank and it took them another 10 minutes to finally get my DL into the system so I should avoid *some* of the rigamarole in the future. At some point, their *security* is so counterproductive that they must lose customers over it at which point fraud is no longer their primary concern. I was beginning to think they'd find the treasure at Oak Island before my transaction would go through!

So yeah, sometimes yelling at inanimate voices in the phone can be satisfying!

My brother works at Trader Joe's. Every once in a while, a customer will tell them about why they are having a really bad day and he will give them a bouquet of flowers. People have come back months and years later to tell him how much it meant to them.

My dad was a master at this. He was always telling people ”you’re terrific” or ”you’re doing a great job.” I would take him to dr appts and he would say that to the dr — they were always surprised, LOL. But as a result of his kindness, for example, when he passed away his PCP called me in tears. (She hadn’t even seen him in months.) He made such an impact on so many, just by being kind. I try to remember that but I am still a work in progress!

The thing I need to work on is being kind to crabby or impatient people. They are the ones who probably most need a dose of kindness. As I've gotten older, I've tried to be a de-escalator instead of an escalator but it's hard!

deegw, exactly!