It's a tea and I would do simple -- have three savories, and if you don't want a lot of dessert as a homage to your Mom and as a favorite of your SO, cheesecake. If you want to have fruit as well, go ahead and have fruit. I have a recipe for a white chocolate fruit dip (not a fountain but a dip) that goes well with a lot of fruit and strawberries are absolutely amazing in it! As far as savories: I like the ham salad, your sweet and sour meatballs (if a friend brings them) and perhaps little quiche.

So I would see your menu as follows:

ham salad on croissants

sweet and sour meatballs

miniature quiche

strawberries with white chocolate dip

cheesecake bites

Grandma's molasses cookies

Wedding Cake

I think it's a nice tea menu.

Ain't nobody who can do tea better than you MS! Thank you for your advice!

Oooh, just remembered mom left me some fish-shaped molds that we never use. Wonder if a salmon mousse would be out of the question? Maybe I should just leave them to their spot as decorations on the dining room wall??!

When I saw this I hoped it would be for you! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you, L!

l pinkmountain, Congratulations! Anyone one loves tea is a good person in my book : ) What lovely ideas, both the homage to your Mom and the tea decor.

I can't top Martha : ) She's already mentioned the mini quiches, which would have been my one idea for now.

OT but when we married a year and a half ago, I wanted my parents' to be with me (both deceased) so I sewed a simple locket onto my bouquet (which had herbs in it, Mom loved cooking with herbs), with their photo and a nice saying about how they were with me on that day. Something along the lines of this. Just a thought : )

Lovely idea 2! We are planning on having a memory board near the guest book table. Kind of like some "virtual guests" that we wish were actually attending. Mom, my uncles and two aunts, my grandmas and my great aunts. And my great grandparents who started the whole thing here in the US! And the necklace I will be wearing with my wedding dress is an heirloom from mom, she was photographed in it prominently when she was alive.

I pinkmountain, I just wanted to say congrats and that I liked reading your comments. Martha's suggestions sound good, and I'm sure the caterer you mentioned will have ideas, too. Sounds like an entirely lovely time!

OOOH!!!! A wedding!! So much more fun than a funeral lunch!!
My tea ideas....chicken salad on small cocktail buns....those Hawiian minis are sooo good with a chicken salad....shout at me for a recipe if you want.
Cucumber sandwiches....what's a proper tea without cucumber sandwiches?!...spread light cocktail rye with a mix of cream cheese and mayo seasoned with a bit of dill...add a slice of cuke and a little more dill or just a tiny bit of fresh pepper.
Fruit salad.....and for 50 you don't want people messing around with a bowl of dip....just a bowl of cut up fresh fruit...water melon mush melon strawberries, Kiwi, halved green grapes, pineapple cubes....no blue berries because they stain all the other fruit....and if you want to take the time....instead of a bowl, thread the fruit on picks and serve a skewer of fruit. Maybe devilled eggs if you feel you need to
I make tiny cheese cake bites with a ground almond crust....either in mini muffin cups or regular sized ones......you can top them with different jams for a different taste for each

Molasses cookies
And your cousin's cake....bowls of nuts and mints....if you must!!
Having just a tiny bit of trouble with "Laurie Pinkmountain" and ham sandwiches....;-) I I think chicken salad will be better.

Congratulations! I hope your day goes spiffingly :-) Your mother will be there in spirit, I’m sure.

You’ve had a lot of great suggestions so I won’t offer any more, but I wanted to point out that this kind of substantial, “meal replacement” kind of tea is actually called a “high tea” as it is eaten at a high/standard height table. “Low tea” is more a cup of tea and a simple snack such as a plain scone.

Congratulations, l pinkmountain! (Nothing useful to add to the other suggestions, though.)

Colleenoz, you'll never get that concept through to Americans. Here high tea = fancy tea, no matter that the rest of the world has been trying to correct that idea for at least 30 years.

It is not necessary to have hot dishes for a tea party - serving cold or
room temp is perfectly acceptable and your caterer can plan way ahead
easily.

These are all easy to make ahead and chilled --- tea sandwiches - any/all kinds, salmon mousse in tiny paper cups, little ham quiches, quartered deviled eggs, shrimp/pineapple skewers, antipasto on a stick, spicy rice/risotto bowl or balls, firm cheese chunks, stuffed grape leaves, chicken salad in phyllo cups, currant scones, lamington cakes, gingerbread baby cakes, chocolate truffles, lemon mousse.

I could probably fill a page with ideas. I make a lot of little things to eat so I can play with my food, and because my DH can't have red meat which limits menus considerably. We eat a lot of tea sandwiches and little quiches - they are fun and you can fuss with them or not. A bunch get made at once and then frozen to take out a couple of each kind for a "variety plate".

Congratulations! Wishes for long life together!

Congratulations L and prince Charming! I'm happy for you ♥

Btw, I'll try to think up some ideas, once my brain gets past the 'engagement' part.

Sol

I thought "Low" was time of day, not food temperature. Can one eat hot food at a low tea and cold food at a high tea? Also thought it had to do with table height. Can one have low tea and still use the standard tables at the church?? :) I know all the food at a low tea would be cold usually, but folks are coming from all over, many traveling hours, so I don't want them to leave hungry if they are not coming to the evening pig roast. Plus my friend offered to bring her chafing dish so maybe put it to use. Not necessarily, but those poor chafing dishes are always so lonely in the back of the cupboard!

Fruit only for the diabetics because we are planning melon at the pig roast. Maybe just a fruit bowl for decoration and those who really can't eat sweets will have something. Not sure how many it will be, there are a few diabetics on mom's side, my accompanist is one too. Anyway diabetics can't pig out on fruit either, so maybe I'll take a pass. Fruit salad isn't really tea fare unless it is in something scrummy. But Americans like all those fruit teas . . . sigh. I can't even drink tea anymore due to a bladder condition. Really sad.

Ham is for my Dutch side. Another wedding planned out east for other side of the family. I am only half Pinkmountain. Other half is Dutch, English and Scot's Irish. Plus, you know how we Pinks like our pork!! I'm a mostly vegetarian flexitarian so I don't really care!! I would not turn down a salmon mousse if it was offered to me.

Felicitations!

[Imagine shower of rose petals agif here. I don't have any images on the new computer.]

I'm a little lost in your preparations, so I only skimmed the other comments and hope I didn't miss something important. As I understand it, you're having a catered wedding tea aka luncheon after the service, and a pig roast at the beach for dinner. Is that right? It's easier if it's catered because then a lot of your decisions are finalized by price and what the caterer can do with the money you want to spend, and I'm thinking this is more about ideas than specific menu items.

So, for those who will attend both meals it's important to differentiate each one so it's not one long meal. Starting with the pig roast, it sounds like you'll be having a lot of traditional sides such as one might have at any backyard barbecue. The tea decor is frilly and dainty, so I think it's important to play that up with the food. Since you don't want heavy carbs, I suggest open face tea sandwiches and canapes, each on something different. Tea bread is thinly sliced, so just one piece shouldn't be too heavy. Canapes can be made on vegetable slices, and you can do a lettuce cup or endive boat for a tea sandwich holder as well. Your tuna stuffed tomatoes go with this as well. If they're made in finger sandwich sized tomatoes (2"?), even better.

Something to discuss with the caterer is how to manage salads. They can be difficult to serve and eat. Unless it's a big favorite, I'd suggest you nix the tabbouleh. It gets all over the place. Larger slices of fruit which are easy to spear with a fork or pick up with a couple of fingers are simpler to prepare and serve than a full on fruit salad, but fruit tarts that are more fruit than pastry cream or sugar, would be a good way to convey it. Crudités can be a little been there, nibbled that, but they're easy to serve and eat, unless your crowd are the type who need dressing or dip (drippy!) to like veggies. You can also do clever things, like chopped salad shooters, that is, in disposable shot glasses. People can eat them with a fork, or just shake a little in their mouths at a time.

Similarly, I wouldn't do saucy meatballs or sausages. Too messy. :) If you're thinking about guys wanting meat, how about something like a canape of a thick slice of sausage with mustard on a cracker sized mini-waffle or slice of firm but cooked potato or slice of pretzel roll?

If it's all smaller pieces, two or three bites each, it fits the theme, it'll be easier to serve, fun for people to get a variety--people tend to take some of everything no matter the size--and very different from pig, slaw, potato salad and sand. :)

High tea is what you have when you aren't going to get another meal until tomorrow. So if you're a working class person it traditionally might be an egg and chips or a kipper with bread and margarine. If it's not a full meal, it's "low" tea, although that term isn't used so much.

But a scone and a cup of tea isn't high tea unless it's standing in for a meal, no matter how elaborately it's served.

Congratulations!!! I can add nothing to the good advice already given. My one piece of unsolicited advice would be to hire a Wedding Planner... even its just for day-of. The fact that you live a good distance away makes that even more important. On the Big Day you will be busy doing so many wonderful things that you don't want to be bothered by the mundane, but critical, things that will come up all day long. The wedding planner/coordinator will take care of those for you. I hope this part of your journey will be fun as well.

Kate

Low tea is a small snack with a cup of tea (a scone, bread and butter, a toasted English muffin etc).

Morning/Afternoon tea is more elaborate, with a selection of fancier goodies (cupcakes, tea sandwiches, tartlets, cookies etc).

High tea is essentially what old fashioned Americans would call "Supper" back in the days when the main meal was eaten in the middle of the day and a lighter, simpler meal in the evening. High tea could be hot and cold foods- kippers, pork pie, scrambled eggs, bread and butter, plain scones (like American biscuits), etc.

Congratulations, Laurie, it's about time!!! Oh, and congratulations to Jeff too, of course. (grin)

I'd vote for the quiche over the stuffed mushrooms, because they're easier to make ahead. So you're having ham at tea and pork at the dinner, the pork producers are gonna love you! Not that it's a bad thing...

The hummus rollups are a good idea, gives the vegetarians something with some protein besides the deviled eggs. I also like the stuffed vegetables, but depending on how they are sauced/served I agree that meatballs and tabbouleh can get a little messy, so nothing really "soupy", probably. Tabbouleh might be nice in those little disposable glasses, as mentioned.

I did see a really cute idea with cherry tomatoes, but it's fussy and time consuming, but would make a nice "display" with a few on a plate. Especially since you're already considering "stuffed" veggies. http://onelittleproject.com/cherry-tomato-tulips/

Lots of good wishes and warm hugs to you, my friend, I'm so happy for you, I know this has been a long time coming. I'm excited and wish you nothing short of an absolutely perfect day. Elery agrees, and says to send his best wishes to both of you.

How's your Dad doing with this change?

Annie

C o n g r a t u l a t I o n s !

Such a nice celebration with family and friends and to honor your mother.

I'm helping a friend right now for a second wedding for both. They wanted to keep it simple being older. They were both way off cost predictions. So I'm trying to assist with real numbers.

(they keep calling it a 'bridal shower' type celebration/party, lol) ...that usually means someone else pays, haha.

I'm only planning the arrival tea. Based on the PalmCourt service at the Plaza. An 'Eloise' at one end of the table for children.

They want a long arrival time pre-service for mingling as so many will be traveling. And most are friends that don't see each other often having busy careers.

So far nothing requires heat/cooking. Cocktail napkins, small plates for those needing to sit. Parents and a few elderly.

Aw, just wanted to say congratulations, lpink! Don't have anything constructive to add, but I do like quiche:) It is so heartwarming to read your and others desires to intentionally remember loved ones on such a special day.

There will be folks coming from quite a distance before the wedding, and if they are like me they might have skimped on breakfast and lunch along the way and could arrive hungry. Which reminds me I need to have granola bars and water bottles out at the guest book table for the few that will. I also want to honor my family tradition of having tea in the afternoon, no matter what is served with it. I want to feed people well but not excessively, featuring savories and sweets. And because I am me, I want to also have some in season fresh fruits and veggies to show off the bounty of my home region. Some folks may not come to the pig roast dinner and some will not come to the wedding due to this just being a very busy time in our rural vacationing community at that time, so I'm keeping it flexible. Foods can move from the wedding reception to the park very easily since they are about a mile apart on a country road.

This will be a sit down meal so not sure why chopped salads are too messy? I do like the idea of maybe serving it in little paper cups. No plastic at this wedding. Also rethinking the idea of a wedding cake. At best it was going to be a "bride and groom" cake but not even sure if that trope is necessary. Why spend all that time and effort making a sculpture in flour and sugar and food coloring when you are just going to wreck it a few minutes later. Would I shock the group if I just did a dessert table and skipped the cake cutting? Do not need hot foods, it was just a thought.

So here's my rethought menu:

Whitefish spread (a local delicacy) with some small bagels around it so folks could either make a sandwich or open face. Maybe add hummus to the selection.

Chicken salad on small croissants or finger sandwiches or both, depending on cost

Quiche

Carrot mini cupcakes

Small cheesecake bites with berry sauce

Molasses cookies

And then the veggies - Hmmm, perhaps tomato, cuke and pepper marinated salad served in small cups, or caprese skewers. Another option is cold ratatouille but I doubt I'll get a caterer to make that easy peasy. Also probably the tried and true crudite platter with dip. It's ubiquitous for a reason. Leftovers can go with us to the beach. Then I dunno, maybe bowls of fruit that can be either eaten or taken with--nectarines, plums and pears which will all be in season. I'm saving melon for the beach after.

Nuts and mints, why not! ;)

Yes, do talk it out what makes sense. We are going through this daily with recipes and e-mail pics. Does not need to be a formal 'tea' but needs to solve the needs of guests. We also are listing what is in 'season' late October.

Forgot to add that my cousin is serving as my wedding planner. Apparently she has done it a lot for other family members and likes to do it. Plus has a lot of catering supplies and decorations. I am blessed.

Dessert tables are all the rage these days. You might compromise with a small cake to cut (and eat) if you feel some folks might be disappointed if you don't cut a cake.

I also like the dessert table idea, with Colleen's suggestion of a small cake for cutting if you want to go through that particular tradition. It's your wedding, do as you wish! Amanda actually had a dessert table at her wedding, with a cake for cutting, then various cookies, candies, fruit filled tarts and one sugar free option as we have several diabetics in the family. One of the favorite items was a sugar cookie baked in small mini-muffin pans, then filled with lemon curd. It went well, and Ashley and my stepson's wife both had "candy tables" along with their cakes. My stepdaughter had a cupcake tower. I think whatever you want to do is what you should do, it'll all be wonderful anyway.

I wasn't aware that it was a "sit down" dinner, I thought maybe it was one of those "wander about with a small plate and a cup" kind of things, and it's always hard to juggle a plate full of something that needs a fork as well as hold your cup/glass.

Why did I not know that you would not have plastic? I knew better, I just wasn't thinking. I keep thinking about a fresh fruit salsa, but I don't know how to incorporate that into the mix. Hmmmm.....

Annie

I agree with Colleen. Small cake to cut--it doesn't have to be fancy-- but ready to eat sized desserts on a sweets table for most of it.

I think I missed your previous post while I was writing mine. I've never heard of "low" tea before, but you're right about time of day when it comes to "high" tea, and I'm guessing that "low" was formed as a contrast to "high". High means "late" in this case, and is usually a meal after the work day. As Colleen said, what we'd call supper (though I think centuries ago in England, supper was food served very late in the evening, after dinner and tea). Afternoon tea is the one with the little sandwiches and cakes.

I like your new menu. It wasn't the chopped salad that was the issue--it's just that a little cup is an easy way to serve it. The caprese skewer is another great idea. It's the tabbouleh that gets all over. Salads in general do get messy, but not like tabbouleh. :) I was imagining a buffet. Is it served sit down? Or just tables and chairs but carry your own plate? If it's served, I'd still recommend against tabbouleh, but that makes all salads easier to wrangle. Part of the messy question is what people drop on their good clothes as they eat and how dire it is, in terms of spotting. Chicken salad is much less worrisome than sweet and sour sauce, for instance, or even vinaigrette. Then again, if you're going to port the remains to augment the pig roast, chopped salad and crudites stay nice longer than dressed leafy salads.

I love the idea of the whole fruit. It's unusual, but will be very pretty, and people can walk out with one. Make sure that there are plenty of trash cans in the room, so that people who have ditched their plates have a place for pits and cores. I was thinking a compost collection, but then you're asking your guests to understand the rules and that's not particularly fun.

Hummus is great with bagels.

BTW, I think having the tide 'em over breakfast snacks for the people arriving unfed is a great idea!

Your menu sounds well balanced, easy to serve and like there's something for everybody.

Firstly Congratulations. What a happy event to be planning!

As an English woman......I've never heard of low tea.

Afternoon tea is eaten on a sofa or the kitchen table. As Colleen said, it can be either a cup of tea and a biccy, or a more elaborate meal, starting with savoury food, ham,egg or cucumber sarnies, followed by scones or cake. There can also be hot things usually in the colder months like toasted tea cakes.

High tea replaces dinner. It's eaten earlier than dinner, usually around 6pm. Its more substantial and also starts with savoury dishes and moves on to cake.....we do like cake lol. The origins are the working class evening meal. Lunch in Britain is often very light so people are hungry early for their dinner, often, oddly enough, just called tea to confuse foreigners lol. Its the kind of meal often eaten on a Sunday evening when you've had a big roast lunch and don't need another big meal.

Mainly posting to say CONGRATULATIONS.

I think you've got a good handle on the menu. I do like the idea of the hummus rollups -- good protein if someone is not inclined to meat, and lighter than if on bagels. Caprese skewers -- nice!

Sounds like great fun!

Wikipedia "Tea (meal)" entry:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea_(meal

I think it clears some confusion and supports what Islay says.

I was very confused by the various uses ot "tea" when reading English Literature at university years ago in the Middle East (no Wiki then). Now I'm reading of hummous for tea. Love it! Long live the Queen!!

If you make your own bagels (or know a bagel maker), mini bagels about the size of a cracker, split and toasted then smeared with a little cream cheese mixed with horse radish and topped with shaved rare roast beef is yummy for those who don't care for lox.

That's what I was thinking of for bagels - the mini ones. If I can find them. Making them myself is not going to happen. I've had to stop even my weekend bread baking due to all this planning and home and yard chores to boot.

Congratulations

Here's some links I saved, for some reason or other

English or Afternoon Tea Party Tested Recipes

It's a Beautiful Day for a Tea Party Brunch

25 Dainty Tea Party Recipes

OMG Momj (how's that for alliteration!) those links should keep me going for a few years!

We have to stay away from smoked fish due to the salt but now I'm wondering about crab or shrimp salad.

Okay - I'm confused. Is this "lunch" or "tea"? What time of day are these refreshments being served?

When I got married for the 2nd time, it was a 2 o'clock wedding. After the wedding, we had a reception with small finger sandwiches (they were passed), wedding cake, champagne and non-alcoholic punch. Everything was passed after the cake was cut.

A reception such as this typically does not last very long - it's usually a Sat afternoon and people may have evening plans. One certainly could have tea as the beverage but it will be far more difficult to serve if it's passed, and it also makes eating while standing far trickier. It was pretty easy with either a champagne glass or punch cup and then small finger sandwiches being passed. I honestly don't remember if the age was passed with a fork on the plate or was on a table - it was 40 years ago this past March!

Swimming too? That sounds so great! Maybe some big rafts if there isn't a cruise?

pinkmountain, regarding savories, I was thinking about something I've done for both showers and weddings. These are really good and can be made right now to freeze. They can be baked ahead and served at room temp. I like to serve them on a platter with little "cocktail size" Caprese skewers. It's a nice presentation, but the spinach balls are fine on their own, too. Anyway, it's just a thought, but they're tasty bite-size nibbles.

Spinach Balls

2 10-ounce packages frozen chopped spinach, thawed
4 eggs, beaten
2 cups herb stuffing mix
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, freshly grated
1 garlic clove, minced
1 small onion, minced
1 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed
3/4 cup butter, melted
Salt and pepper, to taste

Squeeze the liquid from the spinach ( I use a potato ricer). Mix all the ingredients well and chill for 2 hours. Roll into 1" balls. Freeze in a single layer on a cookie sheet, then store in plastic freezer bags till needed. Thaw before baking. Bake at preheated 325 for 25-30 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.

We have the pavilion at the beach until sunset. The only reason I want to book a sunset cruise is so we can Finally drink! All the day's venues are dry.

Better book that cruise....after all the day's doings you will be ready for an adult beverage!

What the French do is what they call toasts. Its not toast at all as in grilled bread. You can make a lot quickly and they can be really pretty.

https://www.google.fr/search?q=toasts+apéritif&client=tablet-android-samsung&prmd=isvn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjlwb29sLnbAhXQxqQKHUX9BOgQ_AUIESgB&biw=1280&bih=800

Cut the crusts of sliced bread, top with whatever you like......cream cheese with smoked fish, cream cheese and a little cured meat, tuna mousse, pâté, then cut each slice into small bite sized squares.

Congratulations Laurie! I'm delighted and excited to hear the happy news! I don't have much to add, so many others have great suggestions. It certainly sounds like you're going to have a fun wedding day that everyone will enjoy. Mazel Tov!

This is always a big hit. I use smoked almonds.

http://www.ourcookbooks.com/recipe/3042381/curried-chicken-and-almond-rolls.html

I like to use the above curried chicken with almonds recipe on mini croissants, split.

Congrats on your engagement!

--or do people still say "Congrats" to the groom-to-be, and "Good luck" to the bride-to-be?? or is that regional?

BEST OF EVERYTHING, PINK!

Smiles,

Sooz

Let me join in with the congratulations! But, also play off of " I knew better, I just wasn't thinking. I keep thinking about a fresh fruit salsa, but I don't know how to incorporate that into the mix. Hmmmm.....

Annie" It is an older trend but seared tuna on cucumber slices with fruit salsa and wasabi . . .

I saw that you said you don't do much smoked meat/fish but a nice smoked salmon pate in a cucumber cup with a sprig of dill is very nice.

Popular around here are shooters for individual serving. So, put the veggies in shot glasses with a drizzle of dressing in the bottom. I have done Bloody Mary Caprese - pierce and soak the tomato in Vodka and then skewer, to differentiate from normal I did put a few bites of not quite crisp bacon on the skewers . . are you having kids there?

Your cousin with the catering supplies - does she have risers for the food or tiered displays? I am in a Coeliac Group based in UK - for humor and great ideas - they often speak of what we call dinner as tea, but go gaga over going out for tea and the fancy sandwiches and sweets; generally served on tiered displays.

The one thing that is set in stone is engraved shot glasses for my friends wedding. Actually more straight sided so they fit tea lights. Over-ordering so they will be used for veggie cups, probably a chocolate mouse for the 'cake' tier, and table lighting...possibly a gazpacho.

They want enough for all to take home a few.

No cake. A big tiered affair we are making. Petit fours, various chocolates, mini this and that...massive amount. (we are making the tier) another friend is making and organizing all the sweets.

We did a no-no list. No heating or re-heating on site. All fresh do-ahead. No pineapple, no mayo, (except fabanaise), No melon baller, lol. No dips, no bagels, no humus. No charcuterie platters. Yes to mini scones. Maybe to mini frittata.

No dance floor, loud music or band. Friends will bring instruments for impromptu music and a few good singers among us. (later around sunset bonfire)

A few toothpick items...caprese, watermelon/fetta/cucumber/olive, (square). One all fruit and one all veg/fruit. They want all squares or triangles.

Classic crustless tea sandwiches. And probably a club and a pastrami, cubed and toothpicked. For kids, chocolate almond butter and jelly, honeyed cream cheese and Nutella on raisin bread, (so good). Maybe a pinwheel or two.

I'm making spring rolls.

One rectangle table for tea/coffee tea at two pm. Tea sandwiches, etc.

One rectangle table other side of tent for misc veg snacks

One round table for 'cake' and misc sweets

3 round tables for sit down, lots of extra chairs

service at five pm

2 food stylist/caterers early to prep, (they are fast and precise)...they leave around 2-3pm but will make soup and salads before they leave. Salad in small white Chinese take-out containers. Big kitchen island for prep and oven/stove can be used but trying to avoid too much of that.

Everything at the same location/waterfront. A friends home but stipulation was a tent and an executive port-a-let...very nice one.

After service not decided. Probably a small catered Bbq/clam bake/bonfire

Fhew, first time I wrote that out. I've been doing shopping lists and loose budgeting....

Oh, they booked and paid for 20 rooms at a great spot nearby for mostly flight travelers and will host an open bar after party there.

Invited 110, probably final tally will be 85-90

No plastics. Still sourcing various papers and wood/bamboo/leaf plates...

Great idea on the disposable wood and plant based plates and utensils sleevendog!

Can't you rent proper plates, glasses etc? Here you can and you give them back dirty - they do all the work.!