I think I’d leave it alone. In my experience, someone on the doctor’s team, not necessarily the doctor, reads the patient portal messages anyway. Assume the nurse did indeed pass along your generous gift, and the doctor is too busy to send a thank-you. He probably gets a lot of gifts from grateful patients.

If his office mailbox is like mine, it's easy for things to get lost or missed. Some days I don't even check my physical mailbox.

First, I hope all is well with DH.

I disagree with Suzanne. Maybe the nurse forgot to pass it along and it is still in her purse? That is the best case scenario.

Something similar happened to me. A work friend's daughter "G" opened up a hair salon the next town over. I have never met the daughter but am friendly with the mom. After talking it over with my friend, she suggested a gift card to the gourmet shop across from the salon. I bought the gift card, had a congrats card and gift bag ready.

I walked over only to find that "G" would be out for the next hour. I left it with the partner.

I never heard a word about it. When I spoke to the mom a few months later, she said that "G" never mentioned it. Any possible scenario. But, case closed.

Lesson learned. I would never leave gifts that are important with someone I did not personally know. (I won't even leave tips in those little envelopes at the hairdresser either.)

Joannie, get the consensus here. I am sure most will say to let it go. This is very frustrating.

I am assuming that when I write to my doctor on a portal that it is she that is answering. Would it be wrong to say something like, "So sorry I missed you when I stopped by on Tuesday. We hope you enjoy the gift as a token of our sincere appreciation of the great care you gave ...........etc."

I hope your DH has a quick and uneventful recovery. With your upcoming move you'll have a lot going on.

I'm not sure how your patient portal is set up but mine seems to be primarily for appts or renewals of scripts - I've never used mine to ask a question of the physician.

I think I would call the receptionist and ask her. It's an awkward situation but you could simply say that you were calling to see if she had a chance to give the doctor the card and gift certificates. Perhaps she was busy and forgot to pass it on. That still allows you the option to leave a note on the portal.

Don't overthink this. It's not awkward. Call the receptionist and tell her for your own peace of mind, you just want to double check this detail is crossed off your "to do" list and ask her if she gave the gift card to the doctor. I would not mind at all receiving such a call. Then leave it to the universe. I doubt you will get an acknowledgement from the doctor unless you see him again, if he is good he is probably beaucoup busy.

I don't think anyone is too busy to acknowledge a gift. Especially anyone with staff. It's not like you left a plant or box of candy.

However, IMHO, I don't think there is a way to ask about it without a whiff of accusation.

If it were me, I would let it go. I am sure that the Dr. could sense your appreciation in your meeting, and I am sure you thanked him then, and I would imagine the exchange left him feeling gratified by his ability to help. The gesture is nice but I bet he knows how you feel. If someone stole it, karma will kick in.

I do hope things go well for DH.

You have a nice thank you gift. You have done your part. Rest easy and don't worry if it got to him or not.

Some people do accept thank yous and end the thank you chain quickly.

(mtn is correct about karma, if she stole this card she steals other things and will pay the price.)

Hope your husband has a speedy, complete recovery.

I hope your husband recovers very quickly, and wish you both all the best.

I had a similar uncertain gift situation a number of years ago, when I asked a friend of mine to deliver a baby shower gift to a mutual friend who had just adopted a young child, as I was unable to see her at the appointed time. I never heard a peep from the mutual friend, and for a shower gift I would think acknowledgement by thank-you note is always appropriate (although I understand this practice is becoming less common, but like I said this was a number of years ago where it was still pretty much the norm). I never could bring myself to ask the delivering friend if she'd actually made the delivery, but I couldn't help having visions of her attributing the gift to herself instead of to me. I felt I was letting my imagination run away when that happened, so I decided to just determine that the gift had been delivered and the new mama was so busy with her newly-enlarged family that she completely forgot about the gift.

I agree that there's really no way to inquire of the receptionist without sounding at least a tiny bit accusatory, so I think I'd just let it go. As others have said, if the receptionist did pocket the gift (and she probably didn't), karma will get her.

If this has just been a couple of weeks, perhaps the doctor is waiting til after he uses the gift card so he can tell you he enjoyed the dinner and movie?

edited to change to "a couple of weeks".

Hmmm. I don’t know....years ago, I left a Christmas gift in mailbox for our postal carrier. Never heard a beep. Around March, I got the nerve to ask about it and she told me she never received it. During the holidays, Temps help out and likely pocketed the gift. I gave her another gift and I was glad that I asked. It taught me to put gift in the intended person’s hands. End of hand-wringing over this type of situation.

Thank to all. IdaClaire....nice to see you back!

I’d let it go. Only you can decide if it will continue to trouble you, in which case, you may want to ask the assistant in the most neutral, and polite way and with no hint of any assumption.