I'm moderately new to gardening, but I like inventing a LOT. I'm having trouble with the watering system, though.

- I grow squash in a place prone to powdery mildew, so I can't use overhead watering.

- I really don't like the degradability and water waste of a soaker hose, especially since all the ones I've had hold water for too long and keep the soil soaked between watering sessions. They've never lasted me more than a year, I have poor water pressure and want to preserve it, and I don't need or want to waste water on the sometimes significant spaces between plants.

- I can't use a single line of tubing with drip-irrigation attachments because the spacing of those attachments won't stay the same from year to year, and I hate single-use setups that have to be disposed of and remade each year.

- I can't easily use mulch to protect a line made of weaker material because I have the earwig swarms from Hell. Seriously, they've stripped a small peppermint plant to veins in three nights. I can just barely control them with traps and manual attack, but I don't dare encourage them with mulch. (They're not the problem I want help with, they're just a reason I can't use traditional methods)

My dream system hybridizes PVC and tubing, or uses drippers that can be attached directly off PVC. I like the straightness and several-decades-long durability of PVC, and I can easily find attachments to thread segments together so I can unscrew it and rearrange it to fit each year's garden. In fact, I have everything I need right in front of me now at home. I don't know any hardware that will let me do the same with flexible tubing without ring clamps, pricier metal hose attachments, and failing/molding rubber rings. However, I've only ever found drip attachments for tubing. It seems so simple to create a plastic piece that will attach to PVC on one side with cement and connect to tubing on the other. Maybe a threaded 'T' coupling adapter, if nothing else.

Can anyone help me? Show me a PVC-to-tubing adapter, a way to screw together or otherwise non-permanently attach 20+ short segments of 3/4" tubing, drip attachments/methods for PVC, anything? I work at Home Depot, but everyone tells me it's impossible despite the apparent simplicity. I really want to make this system. I feel like it would last for many years, allow for larger gardens, and waste absolutely NO water if I got it right.