Consider a vintage ring from a reputable jeweler who specializes in consignment or estate jewelry. You can find a lovely ring at a reasonable price if you shop around. The mark-up on new jewelry is obscene.

To add on to einportlandor's post, buying a vintage ring and vintage stones ensures you are not supporting so called blood diamonds, stones mined to support war efforts of countries or the deBeer's (legal) cartel.

I have a diamond solitaire engagement ring. It is in a basket setting, which makes the round stone look square. It is a good size and I still really like it.

For a wedding "band", I wanted a Cartier rolling ring. At the time they offered them in various golds, and they had just come out with a version that was three bands of pave diamonds. I didn't want a big diamond engagement ring plus three bands of pave.

What I wanted was a rolling ring with two bands of gold and one band of pave. To me, the pave represented our union, the bands each of us. I worked only a few blocks from Cartier and I went in to their showroom to request this, but they do not do any custom orders. (I bet they do for someone.)

So we went to another jeweler and he made exactly what we described. I thought the rolling ring was like a big secret only Cartier could do! Here is what the ring looked like:

I loved my ring and got a lot of compliments on it. Cartier now makes one just like it, for about 1k more than what I paid for a custom one.

The only thing about my ring was it was heavy. Also, it could come off easily. I once threw some coins in a toll booth bucket and very nearly threw the ring in with it. One summer evening 4 or so years ago I was coming home on the train and it was a hot muggy day and I took off all my jewelry, and then placed it in my zip pocket of my briefcase. You know the rest. I have no idea what happened, but TBH I was always a little haphazard with my jewelry.

I waited and waited assuming it HAD to turn up. I really wanted to lift up my house and turn it and shake it.

I couldn't buy the same thing again, just couldn't. I gave in and bought this Cartier ring, as homage.

ETA - When i travel I wear a silver ring I bought at the gift shop at the Four Seasons Hotel in Chicago. It cost $4. That one, i have never lost. grrr

I too am an April bday. I spent my childhood sad I had such an homely colorless stone. I felt I couldn't get a birthstone ring as everyone would think I was pretending. When the time came DH and I chose a setting with a modest stone and the wedding ring has a small stones that encircle the large one. We chose to have his birthstone, ruby, replace every-other small diamond chip. Any larger/taller and it would drive me crazy. As it is gloves are a pain. I don't remember what its official size is under one carrot, not sure if it is half a carrot. I think money on a ring makes 1000% more sense than on ONE party "reception". That ring if all goes as planned you will wear daily for the rest of your life. LOVE IT. Not that I think $500 can't be a lovely ring. I am just saying be sure you get what you love. I had no preconceived ideas before we found this one and it is my one and only, it has worked for me. I have never added a "mother's ring" or any other add on. I am not a huge jewelry wearer. I am actually surprised I could stand to wear this ring every day. DH is a mechanical engineer so his ring got squished and put in a drawer with in a couple of years. Rings and machines don't mix.

My ring was a high setting, surprisingly it did not bother me. Two years ago while paddle boarding I somehow bent my rings and lost most of the accent diamonds, still have my center stone. For the last two years I have been trying to decide what type of setting I want, I am the sentimental type and want to use my original marquis. The marquis not a popular diamond shape at the moment and none of the designs I have seen really impress me.

Mtn, too funny my engagement ring is a round set in a basket of four prongs so it looks square also. And my plain band is the Cartier love ring, my husband has the matching one but his is white gold. Love (no pun intended) the whole Cartier love collection.

I have a modest solitaire engagement ring and a channel set wedding band. For our 5th anniversary, I got another channel set band, and had them all soldered together as one ring.

For at least the last 20 years, it has been in my jewelry box. I have a plain gold band, because I usually have my hands in dirt, or paint, or something messy. I pull out the diamonds when I am getting really dressed up, which is hardly ever.

Married 39 years, but haven't worn my ring for the past decade. Dh wears his occasionally. We had them made by a local jeweler using our birthstones. I never cared for diamonds, so that was the perfect choice. His is sapphire; mine is ruby. They have a bezel setting with 4 thin vertical bands on either side.

I can understand your dilemma. When DH and I went shopping for rings we had a similar problem. With him being a physician and me, at the time, an x-ray technologist, we both needed to factor in many, many hand washings every day, easy in and out of surgical gloves, as well as basic patient contact. That immediately ruled out a Tiffany setting for me, because it could possibly scratch a patient. We opted for no engagement ring, but custom designed wedding bands from a jeweler locally here in New Mexico. Gorgeous but practical, too. My vote is for something easily cleanable but beautiful. I love beautiful jewelry and have accumulated quite a lot over the years. My wonderful David Yurman ring that I wear most days takes quite a beating. It doesn’t clean easily and the stone looks sad most of the time. I’m not in radiology anymore, but gardening and just life takes quite a toll on my rings! My advice? Go for beautiful but practical.

I'm not a jewelry person but I love my wedding rings! My birthstone is diamonds as well, I rarely take them off. I love the sparkle and the meaning.

Since we got married later in life, I got what I wanted knowing there would not be any upgrades. I originally just wanted the engagement ring, but I later regretted not getting the matching band. On our first anniversary, he surprised me with the matching band. No regrets! My ring is similar to this, but with a round solitaire..

Wow - hard to imagine getting engagement/wedding rings and not wearing them but rather sticking them away somewhere. I guess one doesn't know that's how they'll end up. If I did I sure wouldn't waste the $$. I did decide along the way that I did not want a large "protrusive" diamond as I just wouldn't be comfortable wearing that kind of thing on my hand. Hence when I reached the point in life where I could afford a larger diamond, I opted for a pendant and earrings instead. As I mentioned earlier, I wear all of them nearly every day. I really have no costume jewelry - just diamonds and pearls.

I got married later than my peers, which means I managed to avoid the ever-twisting, ever-snagging marquis solitaire that was ubiquitous in the early ‘90s. My wedding can be dated easily to the early oughts when three-stone rings were the new thing. The setting on mine is low, because I knew I would be hard on a ring. Knock on wood I haven’t had any problems with it. I wear it with a plain matching platinum band and seldom take them off. (Picture is of a similar ring).

Hubby originally had a simple hammered titanium band. But he really admired a gypsy-setting ring my dad wears, and which belonged to my grandfather. (similar ring below). We shopped around and found him one a few years ago and he wears it now. Heck, maybe I’m due for an upgrade. We take turns, right?

I've never been able to tolerate high settings for long. I never had an engagement ring, but later I did get a bezel-set sapphire and diamond anniversary ring- alternating rectangle and squares in gold, loved it! But I didn't wear it to work and one day, 30 years ago, I came home to find it had been stolen (along with all my other valuables and setting-up-housekeeping supplies).

I'd replace it now but haven't been able to find one like it.

That's awful raee.

I still haven't really learned to take better care of my jewelry. We were in the city overnight a while back and when I am in a hotel, I always take off my jewelry and put it in a waterglass next to my toiletry bag on the sink.

At this hotel, the waterglasses were artisanal and they were a dark colored glass. So when i packed away my toiletries I did not notice that my jewelry (a very expensive watch, the 3 above mentioned rings, and mikimoto earrings too) was still in the glass. We left to attend a lecture a 10 min taxi ride away. Just after getting seated in the middle of a packed row, I suddenly realized i had left my jewelry in the room (we had checked out). I nearly died. I whispered to DH and he climbed over everyone, grabbed a taxi and rushed to the hotel. Thank goodness they were all still there ...

I'd suggest heading to pricescope if you choose a ring with diamonds. People there are extremely helpful and can assist navigating the world of diamond/gemstone jewelry.

I second pricescope.

Stay away from mall jewelry stores. Honestly, if you're not freaked out by it, a pawn shop will give you the best bang for your buck, but you need to know what you're looking for.

Steer clear of a ring consisting of many small diamond...they're worthless.

I feel as if you would like more of a three stone ring that serves as both your engagement and wedding band, plus the profile is low enough not to be a bother..

Congratulations :)

One thing you may want to consider for budget/ethical reasons is a moissanite ring. Just as sparkly as diamonds and no blood diamonds!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite

At one point people in Europe wore a wedding band on their right hand, either plain gold or diamond, as an engagement ring and then switched it to the left hand at the wedding.

Really cool and interesting thread! SO and I are not typical, I'm 58 and he is almost 65. When I imagined getting married in the past, I figured I would eschew diamonds and just get a simple band ring. I have to laugh at what Arcy posted, I too was always bummed that I had such a boring birthstone - diamond! I wanted a colored stone! So when I went into the jewelry store I was prepared to be austere. But I found myself oddly drawn to all the bling. And yet I still do not want to get something pretty but impractical. I am old enough to know the folly of buying something that looks nice in the store and then you get it home and never use it. I also want it to be something that SO likes. He keeps saying "It's up to you" but I want the ring to speak to both of us. The lady in the jewelry store didn't quite know what to say to us, she kept saying to SO, "What kind of ring would you get her if she wasn't with you" which was laughable since SO knows better than to leave a big purchase like this to chance - we don't often agree on style!

Some of this is just wishful thinking. SO and I are so frugal, we have to be, and we have just adjusted our taste to what is possible for us to afford. Jewelry is not as important to us as a nice house or beach time or a reliable car. But these sparkly gems are fun, and our life has been quite devoid of fun lately. And our love is one bright spot in our otherwise tough lives! So hard to resist the urge to buy something "Ooooooh" worthy. But that is a fleeting thing . . .

I am quite happy with our budget, because then if something happens to the ring we are not out a mint. Also don't care if it appreciates, that's highly unlikely anyway at my price point and age. I would like to buy used actually, but I am finding I really want to see the ring in person and try it on and see how it feels. Buying online will just not work for me I'm afraid. Not sure about the pawn shop situation, I don't really want to try and figure out what I'm buying, don't want to give it that much thought at my price point. I would maybe like to try and find a used/antique jewelry store but not sure such a beast exists in my neck of the woods. Worth a look, we are going to a bigger city this weekend. Used appeals to me because I am well aware at what a ripoff diamonds are, but again, at my price point I may just want to go on the path of least resistance.

I am more and more thinking I want something comfortable. I am a jewelry fiddler, and I know I will be more likely to fiddle with a higher setting and then take it off absent minded and forget what obscure pocket or place I left it in. I have lost other jewelry pieces that way.

Here are some contenders. Not these exact rings but similar. The first is a man-made sapphire, an ode to the rings of princesses Kate and Diana. I am not a fan or follower of the royal family in any way, other than I am a bit of an anglophile so know of the ring tangentially. That one seems really out of character for me other than I love the color blue. The other one I liked but SO did not. The last two are right now the biggest contenders and I am leaning towards the two stone one because the other one is higher. It just is more traditional. I am finding they invented a whole category of rings called "promise rings" which usually have two smaller stones. They didn't quite want to let go of the concept of a big rock as the aspiration for "engagement" ring but they realized that some of us just wouldn't buy that expensive of a ring, so they invented another, cheaper term, "promise" for those of us who can't afford "engagement" or even aren't likely to get married due to finances. I'm being sarcastic, sort of.

Very nice...

This one....is 399...might not be your style, but is .85 tcw

Just to show you what's out there...

Here's a perfectly lovely Charles and Colvard moissanite...

I just love jewelry and can talk about it all day!

I don't know if you looked at the link sueb posted; this is very different than your contenders, but maybe? Under $500

Every ring you posted is lovely, I pinkmountain! It sounds as if you know yourself well enough to choose something you both will appreciate for years to come.

Congratulations on your nuptials. :)

Here's an Edwardian style stunner for 550...

I'm looking for diamond earrings myself, but some of these pretties just catch my eye...

I like the second one that you posted but maybe in a slightly wider band to give it more of a statement. I like the idea of the two diamonds (his and hers) coming together to create a circle of love.

Don't get the cluster diamond ring in a "tiffany" setting. That will just look like you cheaped out on a traditional engagement ring with a single stone.

BLF the one I like with the two diamonds actually has a wider band.

I love those rings on that website that Sueb posted but SO not so much. He is extremely staid.

I actually do not mind looking like I cheaped-out on a single stone. That's the only reason that one is in contention. Max sparkle min. cost. My social set is so old that it will look like one stone to our eyes. :)

Dh and I married fairly soon out of college, but he saved up at his first job & bought me a beautiful 1 KT solitaire in a Tiffany setting. Classic. I adore my diamond. He kept bugging me to upgrade it but I said no way, this is the diamond you saved for, and put so much love into choosing for me, I’m never trading it in. So he bought a six stone (3 on each side) wrap for it. It’s very pretty and I love it. I literally only take it off to sleep and when I run so it doesn’t get sweaty. It occasionally snags things, but I don’t care. I love it and feel naked without it! Definitely get something you both love that makes you smile every time you look at it.

Have you looked at places like Jared? I know they are a chain, but they do have a nice selection of diamond wedding bands and anniversary bands that are affordable as long as you don't want platinum.

I told DH we could have used my mother's engagement ring, but smart man that he is, he said I needed my own. I got engaged at 42 and married at 43. So, I also have the 3 stone and I love it even though it is a little chichi if you know me. It is a higher setting. I also wear my band and the newer bands he got me as stackables, and I like that look too. My original band was platinum, and I also have a rose gold 10th anniversary band and an art-deco style yellow gold. Those look really nice together if I am not wearing the engagement ring, which is rare. Or I'll wear the rose and yellow with the engagement ring.

My brother and SIL got married 5 years ago. They were 65 and 60 years old, respectively. She has an engagement/wedding set and they had a formal wedding with gown and tuxes. It was nice. Really, whatever you want! We also had a formal wedding.

Love the second one you posted with the gold leaves. Seems so appropriate!

I like that one too. It is different but yet doesn't seem like something one would tire of

Mtn, I like your rings! Here are the stackables. Hands are looking ROUGH. Need mani badly.

From bottom, rose gold, platinum, yellow gold.

Gscience, i love those. I have a bracelet that is like the topmost one. very pretty

Like eld6161, I told my husband to be I didn't need an engagement ring. Pennydesign's photo of an Edwardian ring reminds me that my daughter used her inherited great grandmother's platinum and diamond engagement ring from the early 1900's for her own engagement. It was extra special since they were engaged and married the same year 100 years apart. The wedding band was custom designed around the ring.

I like the ring olychick posted.

My first marriage I had a Tiffany style solitaire and plain band. The stone was small, but it caught on EVERYTHING.

When DH and I got engaged I chose and emerald cut stone with 2 small round on either side, it didn't stand up too high which was nice. I had an eternity band as my wedding band and on our 1st anniversary got a second eternity band and wore them encircling the engagement ring. It was really pretty, but one day I lost the center stone. My mother then gave me my father's diamond ring so I could use the stone as the center piece, but it was round and smaller than the emerald stone setting so I just had that ring sized to fit me and wore it instead.

Then one day I took off all 3 rings and ended up losing one of the bands. I was at the jewelers looking to see if I could find a replacement and I spotted the ring I wear now.

I've always loved baguettes and I spotted this ring with 9 round stones in an east-west line in the center with 14 graduated baguettes on either side-it looks kind of like a butterfly but my DD calls it my female anatomy ring. I fell head over heels for it-it was on clearance and that day they were having 40% off everything, including clearance. Well, you didn't have to ask me twice. I called DH and told him he was buying me this ring and the moment I put it on I was in love. It's so damned obnoxious but I love it with a passion. I never take it off, but I did learn my lesson about getting the settings checked so every month I take it in to be checked and occasionally I get some prongs fixed when needed. This time I was smart and insured the stones as well as the entire ring.,

I sometimes wear my other rings on my right hand, but I recently bought a cushion cut amethyst which is my grandsons birthstone and I wear that on my right hand.

I don't mind just the one ring-I felt kind of silly having an engagement ring anyway-we had lived together for 9 years before we finally got married and I'd only had my engagement ring a few months before we decided to take the plunge.

My GF exchanged branches of rosemary at their wedding instead of rings. 35 years later, they contacted a local artist and had custom wedding bands made.

Can I play Devil’s advocate?

Could it be you are caught up in the romance of the idea of a ring? Without scrolling up to confirm, I believe you said you’re 58, not really a jewelry person, a ring fiddler, have busy, dirty hands, money is a bit of an issue, and there was something about jewelry not being as important as other things. And you’re limited to what is available locally, which means you may have to settle for less than your heart’s desire.

What if you spend the money, and in a few years, or maybe months, you revert back to your non-jewelry wearing self. Will seeing the ring and the money it represents be a regret? I know, it’s almost impossible to know that now but it’s something to consider. You know your financial situation and your lifestyle, does a ring truly matter? Maybe it does, so good luck with your selection. I’d say the choice is forever but based on the comments above about upgrades and changes, it doesn’t have to be.

Full disclosure: I don’t care about jewelry. I have an engagement and a wedding ring that I don’t wear anymore. It was important to my traditional husband that I have them so I said sure, let’s get rings. I thought I’d adapt to wearing them. I wore them for the first few years but eventually stopped because I’d forget to put them back on (I can’t sleep in any jewelry so they came off every night). I do break out the rings for our anniversary or when we attend a wedding, it’s a bit of a joke between us. When I look at them, and they’re still pretty, I feel a touch of regret that we spent the money on them. And what do I do with them later, with no kids to inherit them?

Years ago, I had some old gold jewelry melted and fashioned into a hammered, super wide band that I wore when I didn't want to wear my diamonds, primarily for out of the country trips. It was very inexpensive but had a high end look. I loved it. I found the artist/jeweler on ebay.

For me it is not about the bling, it's about the sentiment. I so totally love and agree with what hhireno said.

Gscience, I love your stacking bands.

It's my opinion that all brides should feel like princesses...No matter the age, gender, experience....

How often, in your life, do you get to do that?

Weddings and rings and all of the trappings ARE unimportant in the grand scheme of your lives, but get all you can out of this--it's the most magical time.

So much can be done on hardly any money and I'm the first one to be totally shocked that there are brides (yes, my daughter and I used to watch Say Yes to the Dress, just to be bowled over by the waste) that spend silly amounts of money on the trappings...but the most beautiful weddings come out of creativity alone...

I'm so wishing I had a daughter that planned to get married. It doesn't look like I'll get to use my mad crafty and frugal skills to help her with her magical moment :( . It's very long been a dream of mine to start a business up that's all about very very very tiny budgets. There are workarounds for all things...

I wish you the very best I pinkmountain. I'm so happy that your dreams are about to come true.

To your point HH, yes. That's why I am mulling this over so much. SO and I are very down to earth, not ones for fads and fancies and keeping up with the Joneses. On the one hand. On the other hand, we do like art and nice things, if they are functional and of good value. That might take a lot of shopping when it comes to rings. And we have to balance that against just wanting to get something and get it over with. I guess at my price point I can always upgrade. We're going to a big city this weekend and will do some other shopping. If I don't find a better ring there I will probably go with either the two stone diamond low profile or the cluster diamond ring, unless I can convince SO to go with the two-leaf one which I loved but he did not.

Edited to add for Penny, yes! Too bad you don't live nearby, you could be my wedding planner. Many of my friends had very creative weddings that were largely "do it yourself" affairs with help from friends and family and their own creativity. My one friend built a trellis with his best men for over the wedding vows, and his wife-to-be did all the centerpieces at the wedding hall. I wish I had the time and energy for such things now, but sadly SO and I are tapped out with work, health and family issues. I guess that's why I am obsessing about the ring, it's a small thing that I would like to have be perfect and magical. Buying local, even with the limited selection, does have some of that element to it. Like the effect of buying our ring from the same jeweler that my dad bought my mom's ring from. Well, his predecessors at least . . .

lpink, have you ever looked in the 'estate jewelry' section of a good jewelry store? I'm betting you'd find something you'd love. FWIW, most people I know are opting for non-traditional engagement rings, with colored stones and custom-design settings.

Neetsie thank you for your comment about having prongs checked. My mom passed a number of years ago, and I've worn her diamond cocktail ring every time I've left the house since she died. I've never thought to have the prongs rechecked.

in 1972 dh bought me a small diamond engagement ring, within two years i was pregnant and my hands were swelling terribly any who i promptly lost that precious little ring.....then he bought me a "promise ring" because he wanted me to havea ring and i wear it to this day.....on our 20th anniversary he bought a nicer ring and i wore it with my promise ring...on our 40th anniversary he bought me a very nice set and i wear all four now on my ring finger....i take them off to deal with ground meat or to garden with garden gloves....other than that i wear them all the time....yesterday at the grocery store an elderly lady turned around and told me i had the most beautiful rings...and i'm just vane enough to enjoy that.....i have never asked for a ring, he's just always surprised me with them.....

My wedding ring experience is plain gold band. Period. I wear it almost constantly. I only take it off while swimming or doing other activities that might cause it to slide off. Heck, I scratched it during our honeymoon while climbing a boulder! I don't need anything fancier.

Even 35 years ago I knew that diamonds were not worth their price and told DH I would not accept one. It was, and is, marketing. It's DeBeers' making money.

I hope you find a ring that you are comfortable wearing every day. Or most days anyway.

Beyond the sentiment, a ring does tell the world you are married, which I find helpful.

But why does the world need to know I’m married? I know it and my husband knows it, who else needs to know?

Plenty of wedding ring wearing people cheat on their spouses so a ring isn’t necessarily a deterrent or protection.

I don't care if the world knows I'm married, although I don't have a problem with it either. But I would love to tell the world how lucky I feel to have found such a great loving relationship! I'm not super caught-up in the symbolism of a ring, but I don't have a problem with it either. I like symbolism if I get to make it my own. That's what I'm kind-of looking for in a ring, something that speaks to both of us. SO is really the sticking point sometimes. He is very picky, very particular, very negative about a lot of things. He searches and searches for just the right thing to purchase. Drives me nuts sometimes. On the one hand. On the other hand . . . he found me!!!

Edited to add that I had a serious talk with SO about the fact that I loved the hand crafted ring with the gold leaves, loved the natural style of it and could see myself wearing it all the time. He had to admit that he was conservative and traditional and just didn't like it. He said that he would be fine with my getting it if I liked it, but I said, no, we can find something we both like. So one down, couple more to go . . .

Is there any family jewelry that you can have reworked into something meaningful?

I feel as if that would tick a lot of boxes for both of you...

Yeah, already thought of that PD. Really nothing. Mom lost her initial engagement ring and then got a band one. Stopped wearing it mostly. I could have it resized, but I was never a fan of it. Nothing wrong with it, I still might do that for the everyday band. She won a cubic zirconium in a charity raffle years later and got it set into a very nice ring, but it is high and futzy and I don't see myself wearing that and resetting would probably cost as much as a new ring . . . plus I don't know if I would have the heart to reset it. Mom would have been fine with that, but dad will not be and he's still alive. I can always wear that one as-is. But I am hesitant. Knowing me I would lose it and dad would get upset. He didn't even get it for her, but he would get upset that it was lost or changed. I almost lost a moonstone ring of hers once so I am very cautious about wearing her jewelry. Only under very controlled circumstances now.

I never liked diamonds, except as small accents for colored stones. This annoyed my diamond-loving mother for some reason. I once said I'd really rather have a piece of beautiful cut crystal. A few years later she gave me a Waterford paperweight in that is shaped like a diamond for Christmas! My wedding band is 18k yellow gold with milgrain edges. I rarely remove it.