Lost my mom last week
8 years ago
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I lost my Mom and my best friend all in one day...
Comments (10)Hello all... thanks for all the kind words. I am still trying to struggle through the day. Somedays I am ok, but others not that great. It was her birthday on October 20th. She would have been 64 or "39" as she would have said. We went to the park and fed the ducks... she always liked to do that. I also brought daisys and popped the tops off and placed them in the water. I miss the way that I would call her and she would be willing to go with me on what ever adventure I wanted to go on that day. She was always there for me. I know I am lucky to have a person like that and that it was my Mom, but it hurts no less. I am trying to build a new "normal". It is rough though because everything I do reminds me of her. I started to move around furniture in our house and I was thinking that everything I touched we bought together. She was a great decorator and I have no decorating sense at all. I just wonder when the feeling that I am completly lost and alone will go away. The holidays are coming and I hate it. I think we are going to plan a vacation at Christmas so I don't have to think about it. I don't know about Thanksgiving. Mom used to make the best mashed potatoes. This is so freaking hard. I think I am going to check into counseling again. It is so hard because I put on a strong face when I am out, but crumble when I get to my car or at home. I talk to my husband, but I don't think he really understands. What do you all do for the holidays?? Any ideas on how to get through them?...See MoreMy Mom Just Passed Away
Comments (8)Marion, thanks for the kind words. Funny thing is my parents next door neighbor at their old house in Detroit is named Marion. And she was one of only a few people that called my mom on the phone to talk. My mom was blind for her last 15 years on Earth and the phone was a lifeline. I called her twice a day religiously and took her shopping (she loved to shop..even being blind..I would describe things to her and she would 'feel' them). I should call her friend Marion. Every summer I would take some of my homegrown tomatoes to her and I didn't do it this year (shame on me). Anyway, I have had several 'signs' from my mom. The first one was a couple of weeks after she passed. I was half asleep and wandered out to the kitchen in the middle of the night to get a drink. I heard a loud voice say 'DUANE'. And since I was a little groggy I said 'what?' I thought it might have been my wife. But I went back to the other end of the house and my wife was fast asleep. My mom got one word to send me from the other side. Just my name, but it was very surreal. Twice after that after awakening and lying in bed a strong smell permeated the room...it was like fresh cut flowers...very strong smelling..but natural..not perfumy. That scent stayed in the air for about a minute and a half...and as the flower scent faded I got just a whiff of fresh cinnamon. Those three events have convinced me there is another 'side' and somehow my mom was able to get the word out. Thanksgiving 2006 the family was gathered for dinner in my mom and dads basement rec room. There was a knock on the window...3 knocks actually...knock knock knock. I ran upstairs and went outside...nobody there....then the phone rang...my sister has a friend who is a renowned psychic (I don't know her name) and she called to say she had a strong message come over from my mama. She said my mom said 'nice glasses' and I like the roses. We aren't sure what the rose comment was about, but my mom always insisted on drinking her diet coke out of a glass...and we were all drinking out of tin cans (I know..on Thanksgiving?) and we are sure she was either being sarcastic about our choice of dinnerware...or not..because both my dad and I were wearing new eyeglasses..his new and I had on an old pair that was taped up (pending my new pair from the optometrist). I also had a dream where my mom was lying dead ....and I cried and begged her to return to life...and she did...and then she said to me 'Duane...it's not good'. I hope she meant it wasn't good I brought her back...and not it wasn't good on the other side. That still bothers me. All for now. We are supposed to get 7-12 inches of snow over the next day and I better make sure the snowblower is in working order. I hope everyone has a good weekend and makes it through the holiday season. Cry when you need to, but try to find joy in the season. Remember earth is just a stepping stone on our spiritual journey. This is not the end, but just the beginning. Duane...See MoreLost my mom and mother in law
Comments (6)Thanks mav.So sorry to hear about your husband.I dont know how you do it.I cant imagine not having my husband with me.Yesterday we had to take the car to the garage to get the brakes fixed so we used my mothers car which my dad now drives.When I got into the passenger side of her car I started to cry hysterically.My hands were shaking and I was gasping for breath.I hadnt been in her car without her ever.I was having a panic attack.Luckily,we didnt have far to go so I was home in about 10 minutes.I really feel like Im falling apart.This was a huge setback for me.Im really sorry to be whining but I cant help it.I just miss her so much.I dont think I can go on for much longer....See MoreI lost one of my babies last weekend...
Comments (12)Davidandkasie~ I am SO sorry for your loss... Trust me, I feel your & your kid's pain! I can't believe ppl! I know it would kill me to knock on someone's door & tell them I just hit their pet, but I would do it b/c that's the right thing to do! I can't believe how some ppl are so careless about other ppl's feelings. That was something I was/am thankful for (if it's possible to be thankful in a time like this)... that I didn't have to go search for my dog and that I found him... I can't imagine not being able to find a pet & not knowing what happened to it, having that tiny bit of hope that it would one day return. I was also glad I could be there w/ him when he took his last breath. That had to be difficult telling your kids about it... I'm glad I didn't have to worry about that (no kids yet). I'm so sorry for them, b/c I'm sure the little one doesn't completely understand about death and it's probably really confusing that one minute he's there, then the next he's gone... and the older one, I know how he feels, Coffey had became my constant companion and slept in the bed w/ me every night when my fiance was gone & was there every morning when I woke up and was constantly at my feet following me around, so, I understand, it's hard to lose something that had always been there. I guess that saying is true: "You never really realize what you've got until it's gone." Good luck dealing w/ this! *RIP Hooch* ----------------------------------------------------------- Ninapearl~ Thank you for your condolences, and yes, my Dad is something else! I know that I can't ever replace Coffey, he was definitly one of a kind. Bailey & I do still miss Coffey very much, but I can see improvement in each of us. It will just take time. And, although eventually I will probably want to get another "little brother or sister" for Bailey, I just feel like it's too soon overall. I'm afraid Bailey might not adapt well since it's only been 1 1/2 weeks since Coffey's death and I'm afraid that I might expect too much out of a new dog, so I just feel like now isn't the time. I will know when the time is right. Also, my fiance & I & Bailey will be moving soon and I honestly don't know if I would have the time to train a puppy right now. I have, however, thought about going to a shelter for a puppy. This has made me angry though, looking @ PetFinder.com... We had a special puppy that was WANTED and in a good and loving home and he had to be taken from us, same goes for Davidandkasie, and then, there are all of these dogs out there that are neglected or abused and just plain UNWANTED and just sitting there. It is so unfair how the world works! (Not that I am wishing death on any animal, but it just doesn't seem right how that works out.) Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now. Thank you again for all of your sweet condolences! :)...See More
8 years ago
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