Yes, Maureen, all these years the doctors dismissed my pain as diverticulosis AT THE SAME TIME that they're treating me for persistent kidney infections. I asked one of them if I could have kidney stones. And I was told, "Oh, hon, if you had kidney stones, you'd KNOW it! You'd be in ER instead of here." Two years ago, I insisted that the source of the pain be found. And the doc ordered a CT scan, which showed the stones (in both kidneys). He told me they were nothing to worry about and that all my pain was from diverticulosis--eat more fiber and learn to live with it. I carried that same CT to my urologist a month or so ago and asked him to show me the diverticulosis. He looked thru all the xrays and then said, "I can't. I don't see any. Your colon looks normal." He said if he'd seen that CT scan two years ago, he would NOT have told me to ignore the kidney stones. They were rather large and should have been dealt with then. Thank God, I found someone who can actually read an xray! I don't think my other doc even looked at the actual xray, just went by the radiologist report. The urologist looked at all the xrays BEFORE ever looking at the report. He said a good doc always reads the xrays himself first before checking the radiologist report. Thank you for the beautiful card, Maureen. I'm getting stronger each day. And I have plans to get outside later this week and start tackling a few of the easier weeds. Wish we'd get a good soaking rain first. I can't even see some of my sidewalks now. And many of my daylilies are blooming under Johnson grass. I gotta get those weeds out so I can see my bloomers. Wanna come help?? A little weedin' party at my place? LOL N.

Hi, I'm new here. I've been looking online for ways to cope with living with a very sloppy person. It seems nearly impossible to change a slob. I found one site about living with a sloppy partner. I have read such sad accounts, couples that marry (I guess totally unaware of how the other really keeps house), and end up divorcing. I notice that mostly, the tidy, organized person, the one who prefer to live in a sanitary and orderly house, ends up having to change, ends up having to relax their standards, ends up having to back down, and having to live in silent frustration. It seems so unfair, how slobs are able to have/take such control. They dictate how things are going to be, how things going to look, smell, etc. Slobs don't see a need to change how they are, all they have to do is drive the clean person crazy. My daughter and her child and I share a rental since she split up with her bf. Every day I wake up and cringe, dreading what the day will hold. It starts with my daughter never waking to my gd crying and screaming. I have to go in her room to wake her and I dread it because I just know I'm going to have an out of body experience. The smell of her room hits me as I open the door. This sets me off. She doesn't bother to flush her toilet. She lived in poverty with her bf for several years and developed some really bad habits, like half the time they didn't have tp, so she doesn't always bother to use it. Her floor always has junk thrown about, clothes all over, clean mixed with dirty, who know which is which, dirty silverware and drinking glasses she has repeatedly been asked not to take to her room, pop cans spilled or half full and just waiting to be spilled by her child. A big stinky mess, squalor. And there she is snoring away, none of this bothering her, not even a bit. Sigh She makes a mess in every other room, has to be reminded to clean up after herself, or she won't do it. Her cleaning up after herself barely qualifies as cleaning. She works full-time and goes to school, so she is busy, but she uses this as an excuse every time we get into it over her piggish ways. We get into some big screaming matches, and I'm always the loser. Nothing ever changes. She might go to her room and make an angry attempt at straightening out, but not really cleaning, slamming things and yelling so I hear her. I feel like I'm living with a child, not a young adult. I'm having to parent her, and should not have to. I'm near retirement age with my many joint pains, it was a struggle to keep up with my own chores when I lived alone. and now I feel like I work nonstop and get nowhere. I'm sad and angry over all of this, and when depression sets in, it really affects how I feel and what I'm able to do. None of this filth bothers her. Her brand new car, the new car smell has been replaced with the smell of rotting food. She is so gross. I sometimes lose my mind, especially when the smell from her room makes it's way downstairs. I have simply lost it and have started cleaning her room while she's at work, because I just can't take it anymore. I have found dirty diapers tossed in the cabinet under the sink, pads with dried blood thrown on the floor by the toilet, scum with hair, dried toothpaste and makeup on every inch of her sink. I can't understand how someone can live comfortably in such an unsanitary environment. Disgusting. Thanks for reading my long vent about what I'm living with. Thank you for your comments.

This goes way beyond normal kids staying up late at night; just the sleep deprivation alone is torture & abuse. The stepson enjoys doing it, & his father enables it. "My family doctor and my psychiatrist feel that I should leave this unhealthy environment but I do love my partner and that is what keeps me here." I hate to say it, but I think you'll leave pretty soon one way or another. If you don't go under your own steam, an ambulance will take you to the hospital or the nursing home or the funeral home. & this "partner" will not come visit you; he'll throw your belongings out & forget about you (although if you're in the cemetary, he may tell people how broken-hearted he is). This is how abusers are, I've seen it before. & he *is* an abuser; even though it's the son who's mistreating you, the father is making sure that the son can keep doing it. sort of abuse at arm's length. It doesn't matter how often you catch the son & present concrete evidence to his dad, the dad will somehow sweep it under the rug & turn the tables & accuse you of causing trouble. That's called blaming the victim. Loving somebody does *not* involve taking whatever abuse they or their messed-up offspring dish out & coming back for more. Loving someone doesn't mean throwing yourself on the floor for them to wipe their feet on & pleading for them to stop; (& why would they? hey, they've got a good doormat there). Loving relationships are just that, *relationships*. Love is a 2-way street, & you are going against traffic on a 1-way street here. You've already gotten to a stop light, & your doctors have told you to take a sharp turn, but you keep thinking that the oncoming traffic will let you through. Take that turn & get off that street. Since you are seeing a doctor & a psychiatrist, I'd guess that you can afford to get a place of your own, but if you can't, call a women's shelter for guidance. Please take care of yourself & be good to yourself.

I usually start my paint choosing by picking up a bunch of paint chips (big chips--not those itty bitty things) and taping them to the wall. I then eliminate the ones I definitely don't like. Then I come back and do the same thing in different light--morning, midday, under artificial light--eliminating a few chips each time. When I've covered the time-of-day bases, I move the chips to another wall and repeat. Usually I can narrow the choices down to just a few, and only then move on to actual paint samples. For my bedroom, I thought I wanted a blue-gray. Went through a lot of chips and ended up not liking any of them. Switched over to gray greens, and that is what I eventually ended up with. I ended up very happy with the color.