My heart goes to you. i do not have experience with stepkids, don't have any. But I need quiet at night and I can realte.

But my daughter used to have a tendency while in high school to be on computer or watch TV until 2am and we lived in aprtment so I could not sleep, I am a light sleeper.

I would tell her she must stop being up because I cannot sleep. She argued back but she would either go to bed on time or keep quiet if she was up.

Now, these boys do not seem to listen. talking back is one thing but torturing you like this is another. You do not have to put up with this. You partner must tell his kids to be quiet and respect you. It is really his job to tell them not yours. If it does not improve you should move on. I take it you are not married to him? Then it is even easier. maybe don't live together for now but just see each other? Nobody has to put up with that.

Take care of yourself and your health first.

My teenagers stay up until two or three frequently in the summer, and I sleep in the living room. It is very normal for teenagers to do that. I wake up relatively easily - like when our 10 pound dog walks by - but years of practice when the kids were breastfed trained me to go back to sleep just as easily.

I suggest earplugs. I know a lot of people whose spouse snores who use them.

This goes way beyond normal kids staying up late at night;
just the sleep deprivation alone is torture & abuse.

The stepson enjoys doing it, & his father enables it.

"My family doctor and my psychiatrist feel that I should leave this unhealthy environment but I do love my partner and that is what keeps me here."

I hate to say it, but I think you'll leave pretty soon one way or another.

If you don't go under your own steam, an ambulance will take you to the hospital or the nursing home or the funeral home.

& this "partner" will not come visit you;
he'll throw your belongings out & forget about you (although if you're in the cemetary, he may tell people how broken-hearted he is).

This is how abusers are, I've seen it before.

& he *is* an abuser;
even though it's the son who's mistreating you, the father is making sure that the son can keep doing it.

sort of abuse at arm's length.

It doesn't matter how often you catch the son & present concrete evidence to his dad, the dad will somehow sweep it under the rug & turn the tables & accuse you of causing trouble.

That's called blaming the victim.

Loving somebody does *not* involve taking whatever abuse they or their messed-up offspring dish out & coming back for more.

Loving someone doesn't mean throwing yourself on the floor for them to wipe their feet on & pleading for them to stop;
(& why would they? hey, they've got a good doormat there).

Loving relationships are just that, *relationships*.

Love is a 2-way street, & you are going against traffic on a 1-way street here.

You've already gotten to a stop light, & your doctors have told you to take a sharp turn, but you keep thinking that the oncoming traffic will let you through.

Take that turn & get off that street.

Since you are seeing a doctor & a psychiatrist, I'd guess that you can afford to get a place of your own, but if you can't, call a women's shelter for guidance.

Please take care of yourself & be good to yourself.

meandmummy, I can relate to what your going through. A few years ago when my SS was 16-17 years old he too did the same thing. DH many times slept through it. It was frustrating when I had to get up for work at 6AM and was tried because I was awake until 3-4AM. I tried earplugs, going to bed a little later so I was really tired, putting pillows around the closed door to block out the noise, etc.
I sat down with DH and explained to him that I needed my sleep and that it was OK if SS stayed up but he should be quiet (like finedreams suggested). It worked for about at week. Then one evening visiting with some married couples about their bio kids they all said their kids all held summer jobs and were too tired to stay up all night. The light came on for DH and he told SS to get a job, which, he did with much pressure for dad. This changed things. He too was in bed at a decent time. I think all kids (16 years on up) should have some type of summer job. It teaches responsibility and builds good character.

I think because of your health concerns you need to talk with DH. If necessary have him come along with you to the doctor. Have the doctor explain to him your need for rest. If you have any parents with teenagers with summer jobs have them over to visit about it with DH and yourself.

I feel for you and NO you are not out of line. It is common courtesy to respect others. In the real world it is not normal to stay up all night making noise so others cannot sleep.
I know my SS is now in college and has grown some. He has mentioned how rude some roommates can be by not cleaning up after themselves, keeping others up at night, etc. It is a good thing to teach children to respect others because in the real world it does matter.

Best of luck.

I agree with the idea of insisting SS get a job. My SD17 did recently, and she has become a new person. She is much more responsible, is beginning to realize the value of money, and is too tired to be up all night and arguing with her dad about petty things.

"Should I stay or should I go!"

Go! GO! GO!
Enough is enough!
Be good to yourself!
Think of your health?
Do they think about your health? (NOPE!)

Love wears thin after a while especially when DH doesn't show any kind of respect.

Sometimes our finances don't allow us to move out WHEN WE WANT TO MOVE OUT but perhaps you can start thinking about it, slowly but surely!

Havaing freedom is expensive but it's all worth it in the long run!

Keep posting.

Jobs do not necessarily make any difference in what time they stay up until. Many teenagers work from 3 to 11, especially if they are in fast food, and then come home and need to unwind before they are ready for bed. When I work until 9, I end up going to bed about midnight even when I have to get up at 6, because my body thinks I need a 3 hour evening.

Thank you to all for your concern and advice.I called my psychiatrist today and asked to be admitted for respite care.He'll be returning my call tomorrow.I probably will go.I need the rest....but something interesting happened today....my SS actually picked up on how tired I am.He is gone to a friend's house for a week!!!!!! Goodnight everybody I'm going to catch up on a first full night of sleep in a while....unless he calls his dad at 2:00 saying he wants to come back home.Yes he does do stuff like this.
And again I can't thank you all enough for opening my eyes to situations that I,myself was ''minimizing''.I will make myself my priority.!

Good for you! And you might be amazed at how you feel after a good night's sleep. When I am sleep deprived, I don't deal with anything well! DH has learned this and that is why he lets me sleep in whenever he can lol.