Round 1 of mattress shopping...
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
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- 8 years ago
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Mattress/ cushion for Daybed with rounded edges
Comments (1)I ordered a custom wrapped foam mattress for an outdoor swinging bed. It's about 6" and you can order different thickness, width, etc Linked story below, sources I ordered from are at the bottom - I shopped around and both were best prices online, also less than purchasing locally. It arrived folded in a box, but fluffed out within 24 hours. It is very comfortable. While I used outdoor/DryFast foam, you won't have to so it would cost less. I had the cover made by a different company. Here is a link that might be useful: Swinging Porch Beds...See MoreRound 1 goes to Dana?
Comments (11)I think you may need to definetely set bounderies here,not only with your sd but with your husband as well. The doors of my house have locks. I not only have the right to lock my doors, but I have the duty to protect my family from thieves and dangerous people. Yet, even with the doors locked, my home is occasionally invaded by telemarketers who interrupt whatever I'm doing with the hope of making a sale. At other times, my girlfriends may call and poison the atmosphere with endless whining about how unfair life is. Yes, life would be unfair if we were "forced" to listen to someone whose only purpose in life is to complain. Thankfully, life is not unfair. We have power. We can define what we are willing to put up with. We can establish what is and what is not acceptable to us. We don't have to listen to every call. We can say, "Sorry, I'm busy now. Thanks for calling. Talk to you later. Good-bye," and hang up. In a word, we can set boundaries. Boundaries don't separate us from life- they "enrich it". After all, boundaries give us the freedom to become the person we wish to be. Some people however, are afraid to speak up. They are afraid of being rejected and losing someone they care about. They are willing to give up all that they can become in order to hold on to the little that they now have. It is like a tadpole refusing to become a frog or a caterpillar refusing to become a butterfly. It just doesn't make any sense. If we wish to be in charge of our destiny, we have to learn how to speak up and tell others what is unacceptable to us. You can start enriching your life today, by setting boundaries.I know from expierience that this can be difficult,but with the help of therapy-i can say that i've been able to make life alot easier for myself. What i learned in therapy was that there are four steps to setting bounderies.You begin by saying, "WHEN YOU ..." (state what is unacceptable),then "I FEEL ..." (describe your feelings),'I WANT ....." (describe your expectations), 4) "IF YOU ~ I WILL ...." (describe the consequences of ignoring your request).Like whenever i would say something that my x- husband disagreed with, he rolled his eyes and sighed, dismissing my opinion. I decided to set a boundary and told him, "Whenever you disagree with me, you roll your eyes and sigh, as if you are exasperated by something stupid I've said." it is important to be specific. The person you are dealing with is not a mind reader and cannot be sure of what is troubling you unless you spell it out. Note that i did not say, "When you belittle me." (that is too vague), but said, "When you roll your eyes and sigh." By being specific, i not only made sure he understood me, but i was helping him become aware of his behavior, which may have been automatic and done without any thinking on his part. I then continued by saying, "WHEN YOU do that, I FEEL hurt. When you dismiss my opinions like that, I FEEL as if I have nothing of value to say to you." Steps 1 and 2 are not about blaming. They are merely factual statements. i wasn't accusing him of being coldhearted. I was just expressing my feelings.Having said that,i went on to tell him:"I want to be in a loving, caring, supportive relationship. I expect to be appreciated and admired. When he treat me with disrespect, I feel like we are being driven apart. So, from now on, when I express an opinion, I WANT you to stop rolling your eyes and sighing as if I were a jerk. I WANT you to listen to what I have to say, consider it, and respect my right to express an opinion without being laughed at. I don't always agree with what you have to say, but I respect your right to have another opinion. At the very least, you can grant me the same courtesy." A new boundary cannot be established unless it is enforced. The role of the last step is to announce the consequences of refusing to comply with the request being made. It isn't always necessary to announce the consequences to the person you're dealing with. However, it is essential that you choose the consequences in your own mind and commit to carrying them out if necessary.In my case, my purpose wasn't to antagonize or threaten my husband. I merely wished to correct his unacceptable behavior.But after asking him to stop this several times i had to take things to the next level.A boundary without enforcement is not a boundary, so i had to announce the consequences. Although there wasn't much i could do and say to change his behavior,i told him "I asked you to stop rolling your eyes and sighing whenever I express an opinion that differs from yours and you have refused to stop. So, I have decided to spend less time at home and start taking night school classes where I can improve myself and make new friends. If I cannot find the respect I need and deserve at home, I will find it outside the home. I hope you understand." Eventually i got tired of "setting bounderies" and enforcing consequences-i felt as if i had a child instead of a man for a husband.Sadly,he was unwilling to make the changes nessesary to preserve our marriage and i was unwilling to be his "mom" for the rest of my life. Everyone resists change, so if you try to set a boundary with someone that ridicules you, they will probably try to brush it aside by saying something like, "I was just joking. You're too sensitive." But don't accept that explanation. Immediately reply, "You may have been joking, BUT I AM NOT. If you continue to ridicule me, I will find another friend." That may seem harsh,but if someone is being hurtful they don't deserve to be treated with any "courtesy" if you ask me... You are not less important than others, so stand up for yourself. The other side of the coin is, others are not less important than you, so respect and honor their boundaries. Rewording the point I wish to make, you are not here to live up to the expectations of others, but neither are they here to live up to yours. Seek balance or the middle path. That is, don't be passive, allowing others to step all over you. Also, don't be aggressive, bullying your way through life. Rather, be assertive, defending your rights and the rights of others. The purpose of setting boundaries is not to be separated from others, but to gain the freedom and strength to better serve them. It is only after we learn how to protect,honor, and love ourselves that we will be able to do the same for others. Hope this helps.=)...See MoreRound 2 Mattress shopping...
Comments (21)And? As I said - we have zero aches/pains, we no longer go to the chiropractor twice a month for adjustments, we sleep soundly, and have no complaints at all about our mattress. If it only cost (or was worth) $25 and I got these results, I'd still be happy with it. :) Dismissing a product out-of-hand with no first-hand experience is presumptuous. It's a great mattress and has held up longer than our previous (American-made, innerspring) mattress. LOL...See MoreMattress shopping...adjustable base..??
Comments (8)I bought it on Amazon. It was in this tiny box. I can’t believe how small it was in there. I bought a Casper since it has a guarantee if I don’t like it I can return it free. My son took it out of the box and it fit my bed frame. Unfortunately he put it upside down. I also didn’t follow the 72 hour rule and I gassed myself and had the worst migraine around 2am. Very bad. (It let’s off gasses for 3 days and they’re not kidding) My son came over in the morning and saw it was upside down. I also put a box fan blowing on high for 1 day. It says to sit outside or in a garage for 3 days to let all the gas out of it and to allow it to fully take on air and expand but it was 10 degrees outside so I didn’t follow the rules. All my fault. However by night 3 I was sleeping better than ever. It’s not hot or cold. Not even soft or firm. It’s so hard to explain since it fits my body exactly each time. I can’t attest to the longevity but I hope it has 10 good years at least!...See More- 8 years agolast modified: 8 years ago
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