How did you compromise with your spouse?
rebecca_adia
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
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Comments (82)I'm really sorry about your situation. Only you know who your DH is and can predict how he might handle you confronting him. Lawyering up wouldn't be my first act if I felt like we could work it out alone. Paying Lawyers is very expensive. If you decide to leave the marriage and feel like he wants what is best for his children, I would bypass that as a first resort. You can research laws yourself. You need to know how much money you have, where it's kept and how to access it immediately. If you have a hunch he would really leave his family destitute, you need to act on that, clearly. But if you think you both can be rational, bringing up $$ issues first may take the focus off your relationship. You need to decide if your marriage is salvageable and if you want to salvage it. Spend $$ on couple therapy. Good luck. You know who he really is. Make decisions based on that....See Moredoes your partner/spouse compare your cooking to his/her mothers?
Comments (43)Barnmom, I think you're right but I believe that Bobby's part of the world, there in Florida, may be more progessive than here. LOL Bobby, I don't think that when his mother is gone it will make any difference. Her cooking will just be "better" in retrospect. I would be asking her for her recipes now, if you're on speaking terms, then you can say "but it's your Mom's recipe." Annie...See MoreCompromises in Decorating with Spouse
Comments (21)After living with my DH for 18 years, I've realized a few things: 1. I need to "pick my battles." If I want several things that I know he won't approve of, I need to decide which one I really want. I'm not a spender, so it usually works out OK. 2. In general, DH doesn't care what I do with the rooms he never uses. 3. If I can make him think that it's his idea, not mine, he'll go along with it. For example, when we first talked about remodeling our kitchen, DH wanted to make the cabinets. I didn't want him to for several good reasons, even though he was capable of making them. After a couple months, he finally realized that he couldn't make them the way I wanted or didn't want to take the time or something. We ended up getting cabinets from a reputable cabinetmaker. Once he thought it was his idea, he was totally willing to pay someone to do it. 4. He doesn't like striped sofas, pastel colors, and flowered fabrics, so I just don't use them. 5. Our home will always be filled with electronics of all types. I've learned to just deal with it. 6. It's better if I ask for his opinion early in the process, rather than getting my heart set on something only to have him say no. But often I can change his opinion (see number 3 above). and, most importantly, 7. If it wasn't for my husband, I wouldn't be living in this beautiful home. If he wanted to decorate and furnish it entirely his way, that would be fine with me. It's just stuff....See MoreDid You and Your Spouse 'Meet Cute'?
Comments (37)I met my husband when we were 12 years old...March 25, 1959. He and his brothers and sisters moved to Texas to live with two uncles, because his parents died. One brother and two sisters lived with an uncle in a town about 7 miles away and he and his brother moved to my town. We had a very small school and two very handsome boys entering school was a big deal. All of the girls were crazy about them. They had blond hair, brown eyes, very tan, beautiful white teeth smiles. :sigh: I was such a tomboy...I wasn't very girly. I had braids that went to my waist and I rode my horse every day after school. He came to visit me, because I had a horse. ;) I didn't start dating him until I was 16, although I was crazy about him when we met and I used to write about him in my diary every day, but since he never talked to me, the only thing I had to write about was what he wore to school that day. When I was 14, I gave up...had other boyfriends. He asked me out when I was 16, and by then, I was over my infatuation with him, but I went anyway. We ended up dating for 3 years, married at 19 and almost 44 years later....still married. One child, born 15 years into our marriage....See Moremaifleur01
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