LOL! I daresay he must have good points, or else he'd probably have to go! I wouldn't stand for it, myself. It would be a case of 'there's another restaurant down the road, you know'. Either that, or 'what I do isn't good enough, so now you take over the kitchen'.

I must have been lucky, because there have been several SOs in my life, and only one of them made comparisons between my cooking and his mother's. His mother hated cooking, so everything was either 'slow-cooked and raw', or 'full roar and burnt'.

There's no way I would put up with that type of treatment.

My question to you is, since he's an "ex" why would you even take the risk of rejection?

Nancy

My DH would never do that to me because he loves me and cares about how I feel.

Maybe a good thing he is an "ex", keep it that way.

Every guy I have hung around with and cooked for compared my cooking with his mother's and told me I was a much much better cook than his mother...
Even my Son in law tells me I'm a much better cook than his mother...but for tomato gravy!! And even though I make it just like she does ( it's good! I aasked her how she does it!), I don't have the "Italian fingers!"
But even my DIL admits my matzoa ball soup is better than her mother's....even her mother admits it!! LOL!
Linda C

Gee, that kind of treatment would give me an excuse to just give up! He could cook, or we'll eat out.

Well, he does fix my car for free and more importantly we do still love each other so there are redeeming qualities! We're exes b/c he's closeted and now lives 2 hours away. Maybe if I cook for him long enough he'll forget what his mother's cooking tasted like!

Well I can't make Lasagna or Sweet Potato Pie like my husbands mom..But I don't care..I make the Lasagna different every time. LOL and the I don't eat the SPP...I like Pumpkin..

Apparently, I don't make gravy as well as my MIL.

I'm not offended though, because I know that her cooking repertoire is far narrower than mine.

So, she can have the gravy.

This thread reminds me of my poor mother. She has tried to replicate her MILs pea soup because it's one of my father's favorite meals.

They'll be married 49 years this fall, and she still hasn't mastered the task.

DH loves my mother's potato salad, but I grew up watching and helping her make it, so I'm lucky enough to already have that one down pat.

Not if he wants to eat my cooking. How unkind and manipulative. MHO.

I, myself, compare to my mom's cooking. She has cooked 4 meals a day for the past 60 years so she does know a thing or two about cooking.
I detest tasting my own food while I am cooking so the first time I see how it turns out is when we sit to eat. The older I get, the more frequently the taste and texture turn out to be like my moms!
So to answer your question, I do my own comparison :) because her cooking expertise is my goal.

My DH makes fun of his mothers cooking (she's not very good or creative) and DH also does almost all of our cooking. So, know he does not compare me to her.

Don't kid yourself, that wasn't praise. That was a very insulting comment on his part. Who died and made him the king of taste. How does he know "exactly" how it should taste. And who cares if his mother likes it or not. If he likes her cooking so much, I hope he's back living at home. They probably deserve each other. And you deserve better.

My ex was that way, good riddance to him. Nothing was ever good enough for him, including me, and once I realized that, I moved on.

I read the title to my DH and he said "Don't you dare tell them that I compare your food to my moms. My MIL is a home ec major and former teacher of home economics and I will say that there are several things that she makes that are better than mine.

OTOH DH only made a comment once when I was making sugar cookies that wasn't the way his mom made the cookies. I told his mom about the comment and she gave him HE** about the comment and he hasn't said anything since.

Stacie

No! My Dh loves my cooking and he tells me all the time. However, i do not cook breakfast expect weekends. I figure that i cook every meal including his lunch, i should not have to cook breakfast too. He often tells me that his mom got up at 4am to cook his dad breakfast. I will not get up and cook at 4am!

Our mothers program our taste buds, so it's no surprise that comparisons are made. My husband's tastes have changed significantly since he was a child, and he thinks that I'm a better cook than his mother. The list of things that DH thinks his mother prepares better is just about empty because I've been able to figure out how to make things the way he likes them. My FIL doubtless finds my MIL a far superior cook because she's spent decades cooking to his tastes.

My MIL really pounded this into my husband's head: Cooking is work, and if there's anyone in the kitchen cooking for you, you'd darn well better appreciate it and show your appreciation. Anyone who whines about my cooking like that gets Alpo. (I loved that scene in "The Great Santini".)

He gave you a list of things that didn't measure up to his moms? That's a tough one. He certainly could use to learn a little finesse, tact, diplomacy, and thoughtfulness. He needs to understand what real love and caring is. I'd find someone else to fix my car.

No, DH does not! Thank goodness! He would have been gone a long time ago if he did (or he'd be doing all the cooking). Quite frankly thats what I would have told your ex, "Fine then, you do the cooking." He sounds rather persnickety.

I would like your pecan pie recipe! I tried making pecan pie bars a couple years ago. They came out very "eggy" tasting. I've shied away from making anything pecan pie related since then.

Not a list, he didn't provide me with that.... these are the things I've made over five years that are "different" than mom's. Just my observations.

My hubby likes my cooking and doesn't compare it to his late mom's, thank goodness. It's hard to compare us, really, since we don't/didn't cook many of the same things.

My MIL made lots of delicious middle-eastern dishes, a different style of cooking from mine.

She was kind enough to give me some of her recipes before she died, and your question reminds me it's time for me to make one of those.

If other people take the trouble to cook for me, I thank them and praise some aspect of the food. That is polite.

IMHO, everything that goes on in your ex's head doesn't have to come out of his mouth. People can learn to pick and choose what they say, to spare other people's feelings.

Your list of food has made me hungry. I want chicken soup, bread, brownies and baklavah, followed by pecan pie!

Playing armchair psychiatrist, and probably not a very good one, I'd say your ex has issues about his Mom. Your cooking doesn't measure up to hers, but he can't be honest with her. Hmmmm.

My MIL was a born and bred honest to goodness country cook and preacher's wife that cooked and baked all the time from sun-up till bed time, with a few breaks in between to do housework. She was very good at what she did, but cooked in a completely different style than I ever did. DH grew up loving green beans cooked to death and beyond. He's finally learned to like fresh green beans cooked al dente, but he still loves those green beans that have basically caramelized they've cooked so long. My MIL would get up and cook breakfast, and no sooner than it was eaten and cleaned up after she'd be cooking dinner. (the mid day meal version of dinner) Dinner usually included a roast of some kind, or chicken, or some kind of meat, plus all kinds of veggies and casseroles. Plus cookies and/or cake or something for desert. Then, once that was cleaned up and out of the way she'd start on supper. Of course, supper usually consisted of left-overs from dinner. My FIL kept a big garden, so in the summer my MIL would spend a lot of time canning. She canned and pickled and made jelly out of everything. I even ate her canned poke salad, and lived to tell about how much I enjoyed it. Her canned tomato juice was delicious. I never liked tomato juice until I tasted hers, but of course, she made it from home grown tomatoes. She made cakes, and people would hire her to do their wedding cakes and birthday cakes. Oh, but her icing was the absolute worst stuff I ever put in my mouth, and DH agrees. It was easy to work with for decorating, but it definately wasn't for eating.

No, I could never live up to her cooking, but DH never expected me to. He loves my cooking for what it is, and is too nice to compare me to her. She was a great and generous lady, and it's clear that her son took after her in that way.

Sally

Yes, oh yes, and does this ever push my buttons. My EX believes the sun rises and sets by his evil Mother. He wasn't the one who did the comparing, SHE did. And it was NEVER good enough. She would bring her royal self into MY house, eat and enjoy (mind you) my cooking - and then rant about what I could do to make it BETTER (oh, the nerve!).

The divorce is almost final.

My new boyfriend tried this once. I FLEW hot and told him right quick to NEVER criticize my cooking - that I'd had enough of that to last me one lifetime!

My husband was brought up in an Italian family. Lots pastas and red sauces on everything.

I was brought up in a southern family, mashed potatoes and gravy, country fried steak and gravy, butter on my white rice, biscuits...... yum!

I never really cooked Italian until I met hubs.

So even though he never said it, I'm sure my husband prefers his mothers cooking to mine. I have to admit, she makes the best meatballs I've ever had. No recipe either. Little of this, little of that.

.

In my experience, Mom's meatloaf is the best, regardless of whose Mom we're talking about. So I'll give him that. The rest is just rude and unappreciative. Scotland's MIL said it best!

Not too much. He's one of those who makes breakfast every day, and among his successes are the lightest puffiest omlettes I've ever put in my mouth. Since our new kitchen, we've gotten into deconstructing recipes to figure out (together) how to make them better. His mom is a country style cook but doesn't use a lot of spices. I've seen him (and his brothers) go nuts over her home-made chicken and noodles, so I asked her to show me how to make them. She still mentions that I'm the only DIL who asked her to show me how to do it, and considers me a good cook so I think she was very flattered.

I guess I'm lucky that they both like my cooking. We trade recipes and both have our specialities. I don't mind my husband talking about a recipe if we're trying to learn something from it, but I think making base comparisons is rude and insulting. Does he actually cook, or only critique? I think I would have to challenge him to make a pumpkin pie that was to his taste so I could see exactly what it is he's talking about!

Nope! MIL comes to our house and DH rants and raves over MY cooking! So does she! There's only one thing that he's ever mentioned her making at all...bean gravy (anybody got a recipe?). He liked it, but he's never asked me to make it and I've never tried.

When we are invited to her house (not often, she doesn't entertain much at 83) it's usually a Turkey Dinner Meal Deal from a local grocery. Blech. But we graciously thank her for inviting us.

Deanna

Vacuumfreak, I would tell him that maybe he should go back home to his mother and I would not cook for him anymore.

The EX learned really fast that if he wanted me to cook for him he would not compare my cooking to his mothers.

My DH would never compare my cooking to anyone else's because he knows how rude that is. He doesn't put people or their cooking down, however I can tell by some subtle things he has said that his deceased wife wasn't a very good cook. I think they had Taco's and Spahetti a LOT. Before we married his daughter was living with him and the only thing he would say about her cooking was that it was adequate. It's a very rare meal that I cook that he doesn't tell me he enjoyed it.

IMO, telling someone that their cooking doesn't measure up is like biting the hand that's feeding you.

Beverly

My late husband once told me my fried chicken was good, BUT not as good as the Colonel's. That was the last time that man EVER got home fried chicken and that was his all time favorite meal. He could have eaten fried chicken 24/7.

Hubby, now, never leaves the table (on the rare occasion that I cook) without thanking me and telling me how good everything was. I've only eaten a few things that his mom has cooked and Susy homemaker she's not and the first to say so.

Pam

LOL, Scotland, I think DH must have seen the Great Santini. He's always praised my cooking even though I consider myself a marginal cook, not too creative. My MIL was not a very good cook and DH has always said that. MIL used to marvel at how fast and easy I cooked meals and how good things were. She fixed a couple of dishes I thought were original and tasty and I asked her how she fixed them and it flattered her that I asked her. DH has mentioned I work hard to please with my cooking and he really appreciates it. Appreciates it more when I don't fix things he doesn't like no matter who fixes them although I've managed to add a few things to his likes list that weren't there before. I think he knows if he criticized my cooking, we'd eat out or take-out all the time or he'd be history.

Y'all are too nice. He's a beeyotch - plain and simple. No man better ever compare me with anyone else. He'd get a size 8 high heel thrown at his head. I'd go to jail. Y'all would bail me out, wouldn't ya? LOL.

NEVER!!! She once used lemon oil for furniture by accident instead of salad oil in thier salad. We have never let her live that one down! I love her dearly, so when she comes to visit I always make sure we eat home a lot and I can make her lots of goodies that she would not get back home....ie, lemon chicken, my brisket,

Only for the first 6 mos we were married. I finally hit the ceiling and suggested he go SLEEP with his mother! Never heard another peep, and its 54 years later.

Gina, I'd post your bail in a heartbeat, and then I'd urge your lawyer to use the defense that it was justified!

My ex compared my cooking with his mother's, and my house keeping, and my child rearing and my independent attitude and nearly everything else. That's not why we divorced after being married for 30 years, but I sure as he** don't miss having every darned thing I ever did be wrong.

Elery? He never compares, he tells me I'm a wonderful cook and he's a darned fine cook himself. I cook for him, he cooks for me, neither of us compare it with anything else. It's a very nice change.

My mother wasn't a very good cook. My Grandmother raised me and she was a very good "country" cook. His mother was a solid "southern" cook, and made things like grits, biscuits, sausage gravy, green beans cooked to a mush with lots of bacon grease. I don't make any of those things, so there is no comparison.

His Dad did tell me that I was about the same height as Elery's Mom, does that count? LOL

As for the ex, I think that's critical and hurtful for someone who says he loves you or who you believe loves you. I was taught that you just don't say anything at all rather than say something critical.

Annie

Annie, isn't "he deserved killing" considered justifiable homocide in some parts of the country?

Well, I'm glad I know my cooking isn't terrible. I've actually had other people say it was tolerable! He doesn't think it's bad, he just thinks mom does it better. He could go to a 5 star restaurant and think mom's version was better. Definite issues there which of course doesn't make him an evil person. My only consolation is that she's very old and hopefully soon, well I better not finish that... :o)

Barnmom, I think you're right but I believe that Bobby's part of the world, there in Florida, may be more progessive than here. LOL

Bobby, I don't think that when his mother is gone it will make any difference. Her cooking will just be "better" in retrospect. I would be asking her for her recipes now, if you're on speaking terms, then you can say "but it's your Mom's recipe."

Annie

Annie, that's just beautifully evil! ROFL!

No, not if he wants to eat! I have to give him this, he has never said anything that wasn't complimentary about my cooking in 13 years. I don't cook elaborate meals every day, but I can always whip something up. Even his mom thinks I'm a good cook, lets me know, & gets me food-related gifts. I guess I'm lucky...

My DH relized that his mother really didn't know how to cook after we got married. Not that I'm the greatest cook but I don't cremate anything either. He thanks me after each meal also, and then will take care of the dishes. Think I'll keep him.

I wonder if divorce papers have thess\e options for reasons for divorce (Check one or more) -
-Irreconcilable differences
-Adultery
-Boredom
-Found someone younger/prettier/richer
-Spouse is a horrible cook
-Spouse is not as good as mom in cooking

:)

Here are two ways to fix that

I don't give him the chance. I wouldn't even attempt to make Kolachi as I am sure none could compare to his moms. Only other thing is apple pie, so now he helps and he thinks it's comparable. -- Hey, it get someone to peel the apples for me :)

I think I would tell him that my dad fixes cars better and faster.LOL