Mom Has Finally Passed

8 years ago

Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers. My mom lasted for over three weeks, after she stopped eating and with very little water. She passed to Heaven yesterday evening. It's been such a strain, especially on my sister with whom she lives, even with some caregivers during the days and the wonderful, wonderful Hospice nurses. I stayed in Portland for two weeks then made the tough decision to return home. By then Mom couldn't open her eyes, for which I was grateful, when it was time to tell her good-bye. I was hoping to be able to "talk" to her on the phone once more, but that didn't happen. I had been worrying that Mom must have felt trapped in her body and frustrated that she couldn't communicate, but that doesn't matter any more. We are Catholic and will have a Mass for her, after her cremation. I feel very, very fortunate to have had her for all these years; she would have been 97 tomorrow. I also am grateful to have had her fail gradually, to get me used to the idea of life without her--we were quite close. Rather selfish, I know, since she couldn't have been happy this past month. Who knew a person could live in such a state at such an age for so long?? I'm super lucky to have two sisters with whom to share this grief.

Featured Answer

joyfulguy

8 years ago

My condolences at this hurtful time, sjerin.

Her lingering for the extended period in a somewhat regrettable state was in no way any of your doing, so the fact that you were able to gain some advantage in terms of severing the intimate connection isn't something that should cause you an iota of regret, I think.

May you and the others who loved her have a feeling of peace in your hearts as you work through this troubling time: I hope that you can be there for one another as you proceed.

ole joyful

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Comments (61)

Rita / Bring Back Sophie 4 Real
8 years ago
Please accept my most sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. You and your family are in my prayers.
wanda_va
8 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and the other members of your family.
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Kathsgrdn
8 years ago
I'm so sorry. Prayers for you and your sisters.
lucillle
8 years ago
My condolences for your loss.
Marilyn Sue
8 years ago
I am sorry to hear this, and I know how difficult this is. My prayers are with you.

Sue
phyllis__mn
8 years ago
Caring thoughts going out to you.
phoggie
8 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss of her earthly presence, but thankful you had her for so many years. May the God of Comfort be with you and yours.
blfenton
8 years ago
My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care of yourself and each other.
User
8 years ago
May your mother's memory be for a blessing.
User
8 years ago
Your post brought tears to my eyes, I’m so sorry for your loss.
glenda_al
8 years ago
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
rob333 (zone 7b)
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
(((sjerin))) (((and all your friends and family affected))) you get one by yourself. I'm satisfied to see that you're at peace and you got to say good bye. You also have us, in addition to your sister, to get through this. We're here.
Annie Deighnaugh
8 years ago
So terribly sorry for your loss. Sending you and yours thoughts of comfort, strength and solace.
andreap
8 years ago
I am sorry for your loss, which must be painful even though it was expected. I had a somewhat similar experience with my mother, on hospice care in a nursing home for her last couple years there. The team was great but I never met the nurse in charge, who should have told me to tell my Mom it was OK to go. I too continued to talk and hold her hand even though she was unresponsive towards the end. I wish I could erase the memories of her then and just remember the good times. It does get easier as time passes. I still talk to her and thank her a lot, and count my blessings. Peace and comfort to you and your sisters.
kathyg_in_mi
8 years ago
Never easy to lose your Mom. Thankfully you had your sisters with you.
lindaohnowga
8 years ago
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. May God give you the strength and comforting you need.
User
8 years ago
Peace and best wishes, so sad.
FlamingO in AR
8 years ago
My goodness, your post could have been written by me, except you expressed it all so well. You described everything that I've felt and gone thru for the last 5 years except my mother lived nearby. I know just how you feel, that gradual loss over the years makes it somewhat easier to say a final goodbye. I truly believe that after such a long illness, it was relief she must have felt and that you and your family feel now. My mum was 96.5. You have my most sincere condolences, it's still hard even if it is truly time.
chisue
8 years ago
Sorry for her ordeal, and yours and your sisters'. Glad for her release.

Don't bother yourself about not being there the moment her heart stopped. She knew you loved her, and she loved you all! Love one another now.
User
8 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there with your family.
marylmi
8 years ago
Sending my condolences to you and your family..
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
8 years ago
My deepest condolences. RIP
PRO
Anglophilia
8 years ago
What a wonderful, long life she had, and she must have been very close to her two daughters - a true blessing for her. And you have a sister! Yes, it's terribly hard to lose one's mother, but you've had a long time with her and many don't. And you have a sister. I'm an only child. When my mother died, I sort of lost my childhood, too. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
yeonassky
8 years ago
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Good to know that you have a sister that you can lean on and also she can lean on you. I'm glad for you that you have a good number of years of many many memories to fill your heart with when the ache subsides a bit and allows you to. All the best.
sleeperblues
8 years ago
So sorry. I lost my dear Mom in August so I understand how you feel. So much of your post was so similar to my journey with my Mom. Losing your best friend is hard.
mare_wbpa
8 years ago
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Peace be with you and your family.
bengardening
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
Sjerin, I am so sorry to hear this. This is one of the hardest things to have to go through. It does get easier with time. Its been 9 years since my MOM died and I still miss her and yes I still talk to her.
ritamay91710
8 years ago
I'm so sorry about your mom. Yes, 96 is a good long life, but it doesn't make it any easier. Take care of yourself.
Rose Pekelnicky
8 years ago
My condolences. She is at peace now
schoolhouse_gw
8 years ago
Sorry for your loss.
marilyn_c
8 years ago
Sjerin, I am so very sorry to read this. Losing your mother is hard, no matter what your age. I am glad you have sisters for emotional support. My sincerest condolences.
hounds_x_two
8 years ago
Sending caring thoughts your way. Even when anticipated, loss of a loved one is so difficult. Hold your sisters close.
donna_loomis
8 years ago
Sjerin, my sincerest condolences to you and your family. My mother also passed slowly, in March of last year. No amount of time would have made it easier to lose her, though. Hang on to the wonderful memories you have of her.
morz8 - Washington Coast
8 years ago
I'm so sorry to be reading this Sjerin. Please accept my deepest sympathy, and on behalf of your sisters too. Peace to your mother always.
abbisgram
8 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.
sheesh
8 years ago
I'm very sorry for your loss. It's never easy.
lily316
8 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.
jemdandy
8 years ago
My condolences to you at this very trying time. There is no absolutely correct answer, nor is there is a wrong answer because you were there for her when she could sense your presence. Pray for her easy passage into the next world, and then, take good care of yourself. May your memories grow fonder with the passage of time.
ont_gal
8 years ago
My sincerest sympathies, (((((Sjerin)))))
Jasdip
8 years ago
Sjerin, I'm so very sorry to read this. No matter how old we are, it's hard losing our mom. We never stop missing them. ((((Sjerin))))
pudgeder
8 years ago
You have my deepest condolences.
sjerin
Original Author
8 years ago
Thank you all. I'm touched beyond words at your kind words, every one of you. After my big cry on Wed. night--hubby was just terrific--I felt at peace and calm. When my sister held up the i-pad (facetime) for me to see her one last time, I could tell she wasn't there anymore, which made me relieved somehow. We'll have her funeral soon and all my dds will be able to be there. Thank you, thank you again. You really are the nicest bunch of people!
beth09
8 years ago
Please accept my condolences. You sound like a very loving daughter. I'm so glad you two were close, and that you had her such a very long time.
moonie_57 (8 NC)
8 years ago
I'm so sorry for what you all have been through. I fear the same ending for my mom. Take care of yourself.
tami_ohio
8 years ago
I am so sorry to hear this. Hugs and sympathy.
User
8 years ago
My condolences to you sjerin. Hang onto whatever comfort you find wherever you're able find it.

I wish for strength for you.
OutsidePlaying
8 years ago
I am so sorry. May you find peace and comfort.
Rosie
8 years ago
My condolences to you for the loss of your dear mother. I hope your memories will bring you some comfort during this difficult time.
happy2b…gw
8 years ago
I am so sorry that your mother has passed away. I am happy for you that you have your family to support you.
joyfulguy
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
(((((sjerin ... and family)))))

ole joyful

Mom Has Finally Passed

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