I've been thinking more of this, and I think I can get her DH to go along. Since we've not really ever done anything for mom on her birthday, she would easily buy it that he's taking her to the casino to celebrate. They go frequently, and he can say they're going to meet his brother & his wife. She'd totally buy this scenario. Then I can do an open house at the club house. I figured I can supply the main dish (something simple) and non-alcoholic beverages. Everyone else (family) can pitch in with food stuffs, too, and I know that the people in her park will be happy to pitch in with pot luck. If my mom doesn't know that family is going to be there (including me) she'll absolutely love it. Our family has a tendency to do surprises of unexpected family at events and it's well received. My primary concern now is trying to find lodging for everyone...since virtually all family will be from out of town. I think this could be a blast for mom, and she wouldn't mind people knowing her real age. It would tickle her because her peers are ancient (looks & energy wise) compared to her. She loves to be the center of attention, so I think she'd really like this.

I've spent a few days in court lately, unfortunately (my husband is a victim & witness) in a case that keeps getting postponed. I'm sorry, but if the judge is anything at all like the one we've been observing, I wouldn't be so sure. We saw a guy get over a $1000 in assorted fines plus community service for shoplifting $21 worth of merchandise. If the 'victim' wants to press charges, the judge may have no discretion but to follow the law and impose the required penalties. You say you've got a drs appt. for her--that's good, and I'd make sure that she gets to the dr. and you have a diagnosis in hand (if there is one along the lines of dementia) before going to court, but I'd strongly recommend that you see your lawyer for a couple of things. First and foremost, you HAVE to have her properly represented in this case, and secondly, if she is becoming incapable of handling her own affairs, there are legal steps you need to take--if she'll sign a financial and medical POA, that will help. If she's unwilling, you may have to go for guardianship. Either way, you're describing a parent who needs some supervision--for her own health and safety. As to what will happen with the dr? Since she hasn't been in some time, apparently, she's going to need a complete physical. In the office, he'll probably check her blood pressure, pulse, etc. He probably will send her for bloodwork and possibly a urinalysis--to check for things like diabetes, UTI infection (which can in the elderly, ape dementia and create a lot of confusion), high cholesterol, etc. He's probably going to ask her questions that are designed to indicate her mental acuity--unfortunately, there's no actual test (bloodwork, X-Ray, etc) for dementia. He may prescribe one of the medications that are helpful in slowing (but can't cure) dementia. You're going to want to make sure that you have yourselves listed as people the dr. can legally talk to (HYPPA), and you're going to want to make sure that one of you always accompanies her so that you understand and follow the drs instructions. As I've been through a lot of this with my mom, aunt and MIL (various health/elder issues)--I'd suggest that it's probably time to consider having at the very least, some help in several days a week. Home health aids--good ones, at least--are worth their weight in gold. They help with personal needs like bathing, will do laundry, cleaning, cooking, shopping--and most importantly, visit. They're an extra pair of eyes to help catch minor problems before they become major issues. Depending upon your mom's eventual diagnosis, health aids may be covered by her insurance/medicare. But even if they aren't, they're worth the price. It may be, that the time is coming when you may have to make the decision that mom needs assisted living or nursing home care. Know that's not what any of us want to face, but it's better to start looking around before you need one, than to wait until the need is critical. Being prepared ahead of time, is going to take a lot of stress off your shoulders when that time comes. I know you're going through a lot right now--but you're going to learn a lot about yourself--you're going to find strengths you didn't know you had. You're going to redefine your relationship with your mom--and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Just hang in there, and get through a day at a time, make sure the first things you handle are mom's immediate health issues and her legal woes. Good luck with all that.

Have a truly wonderful celebration today. No ...... make it for the rest of the week. Shirley

Have a great day. Please eat a piece of birthday cake for me. H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y Shirley