I think you need to sit down and have a serous talk with your daughter and her husband and ask them.

I have asked and because her husband has been unfaithful & I also saw a physic who also said he a bad egg, my Daughter asked me to play her the recording from the physic, who was spot on on so many things. I think she told her husband because not long after that they said u can't see my grand daughters again ( which the physic also said they would do) because iv brought them too much negativity. But my Daughter asked to hear the recording. I expect it upset her & see turned to her Husband who has put a ban on me ever seeing the Girls again, I don't think it's even crossed his mind the effect it could have in my Grand Daughters he just wants to hurt me :_-(

Let me preface this by saying that I do believe there are people who are psychic. (Not "physic", that's something else entirely.) That said, I do not believe that everyone (probably not even one in a hundred) people who claim to be psychic in order to give paid advice are, in fact psychic. So, I would not recommend seeking advice from one, and especially not advice regarding someone else whose business I have no place sticking my oar into unasked.

Honey, what were you thinking? Unsolicited advice is rarely welcome, however well intentioned it might be. And telling your daughter some random stranger says her husband and father of her children is a "bad egg"- where did you think that would lead?

As Sylvia suggests, I think your only hope of salvaging this is to apologise, "I'm sorry, I must have been temporarily insane, it was none of my business to do what I did and if I could have my time over I wouldn't do it", send a birthday gift through the post and a card separately (in case the gift doesn't make it) and otherwise keep your head down until hopefully it blows over.

Be ready to support your daughter but wait until _she_ asks _you_, don't egg her on so blatantly or it will all end up in tears again.

Thank you so very much for your advice. But iv tried all of that before & my Daughter has let me back in & then I find out she's told lies about me to my friends. I have done everything I possibly could for them, supported them financially for years, looked after the children everytime they asked even if I had my own plans. My Dauhter has broken my heart SO many times going back from the age of 13 she was a delinquent but I always stood by her

Now I don't know what to do.

They are also renewing their vows which I'm not invited to

anyone who meets my Daughter thinks what a lovely young lady lady (31yrs old) to which iv always let people believe, who wants anyone to think bad of their child!!!

But the sad truth is she is a lier she's cruel she's used me for money. Iv been ill for 4yrs & since then I haven't been able to help them as much as I could before. My relationship broke up & she stopped caring & became even more awful towards me.

All this has happened during my Das Mum & both my Grand mothers dieing. I love my Daughter but I don't like her. But I adore & love my Grand daughters. I'm so broken hearted I can't see them Thank you again x

Ps I didn't go to see the Pyschic/Medium to tell me again about my Daughter. & Son in Law. The Woman told me SOOO many things she could never know about my Dad Mum family etc She told me things about how my Grand daughters a&e getting in at school which is so very true, one finds school easy one finds certain subjects really hard but she's great at other things outside of school

she then went on to tell me about my Daughter & Son in Law & told me things I didn't know but my Daughter told me where true after.

My Daughter really wanted to hear the recording, if I had said no she would of said I was lieing so I let her hear, & she said herself the Medium was very accurate

i can't do right for doing wrong i wish I could

some of my friends have told me not to send a Birthday present & to put the money into the saving account I have for my Grand daughters but to send a card & photo copy it & anything I send them in the future to prove I'm always thinking of them & I love them dearly. I wish I knew the right thing to do

My heart actually physically aches x

I'm sure you are hurting but what is needed here is distance, time and separation. It sounds like serious damage has been done. Back off. Way off. Find new interests of your own.

I'm sorry if that sounds cruel, but I don't see things ever improving the way they are going now.

Thank you for replying

I agree with you. But I'm so terribly worried about my Grand Daughters, they've lost all their Grand parents either through recent Death or because my Daughters Father & his parents don't bother with them or because myself & my Son in law mother aren't allowed to see them but she seems fine with that, because before her ban she would travel 170 miles to see her Daughter & other Grandchildren & not even tell her Son she was up here visiting. & made her Daughter promise not to tell them either she also hardly ever sent them a card or present on their Bdays or Xmas.

Im the ONLY Grand parent they have left that actually wants to see them spend time with them love them. I'm so worried how this will effect them in their futures. I don't even know what their parents have told them about why they are no longer seeing me. They must be so confused iv seen them cry for my Dad Num & my Grand mothers who all died. In the last few years. Their parents won't even let them see a Grief counsellor

Do you think I should send a card? And a present? Or money ? Or put money into their saving account

thank you for caring enough to listen x

Tough love is very hard. Of course you could send a card and a gift appropriate for the child. But stay back and hope time will help ease the bad feelings.

And don't fall into the habit of passing out money, just because you can.

Thank you for replying

I'm not sure what you mean by Tough love? Who's giving who tough love?

iv stopped passing out the money. I think that's one if the reasons they're being so cruel to me :-(

Even after your more informative follow up posts nobody here has enough information to make well targeted suggestions. A licensed professional who can be present to meet, listen to and observe all involved parties in person is what is needed.

To me, tough love means being cruel to be kind. Doing something today (withholding your physical presence or expressions of love/desire to be with someone for a period of time) may seem cruel now but might be better for everyone in the long run.

Thank you for your reply. And I agree. But sadly don't know who that person could be :-(

Ps I speak to a grief professional iv invited my daughter& or son in law on numerous occasions to which she has always declined. My "professional" says myDaughter is a really bad person who also has a bad husband, but she only sees my side of things. Although I tell her the truth I show her the messages between us etc. I still think she needs to hear my Daughters side of things but sadly myDaughter won't come

Thank you LittleBug

i was wondering who you meant should give the tough love Me or my Daughter & Son in law?

they are obviously being cruel in my opinion.

Do you mean I should stay away to be cruel to be kind?

how do you think I should go about things when it comes to my Grand daughters Bdays Easter Xmas etc etc x

Hon, you need to step back and calm down. Since your daughter and son in law have indicated they want to be left alone, do just that. If you want to give your granddaughters holiday and birthday gifts, as suggested open a bank account and make payments into it (which they can access when they're of age), and send cards indicating you've done so. Don't pay money into existing accounts their parents might have access to. Otherwise let them be and don't keep poking the bear.

Thank you Colleenoz

i have a savings account for them to have when their if age. I just didn't know what to do, whether to send a gift or do as you said. As you can see by the other comments people say do different things. I just want to do the right thing for my a Grand daughters!!

im not poking the bear as you say. Iv not made any contact with them since they said I can't see the Girls. I thought it best to leave them alone

i have to somehow try to stop thinking about what my Grand daughters are thinking, every single Grand parent they have has either died ( my mum Dad & both my Grand mothers witching the last few yrs) my Daughter Father & his parents see them once every 3 yrs. My son in law Mum has also been banned, so they poor little things don't know what I earth is going on. It breaks my heart thinking about what they must be going through. As I have seen the older Grand daughter (. 9yrsvold) cry her heart out for her dead grand parents. We were all do close & saw the Girls on a very regular basis.

I just want to do what's best !

You've gotten lots of good advice and, yes, different people are suggesting different things. That's what happens on-line because everyone has different ways of approaching things and nobody here has a clue about how to handle it specifically for your situation.

Only you can consider the things that have been suggested and decide which works best for you. I'm very sorry for you and for the girls, but it sounds to me as though the relationship between you and your daughter has been poor for a long time and this torture will only continue. Very sad. Good luck.

Thank you Suzie.

You're right! And yes it is torture & very very sad

i keep changing my mind about what I'm going do to. But going on past effects I think I should keep away at throwing money at the problem as that only brings them back for a short time

but do I send a card & a present for their vow renewal wishing them luck in their future. Or do I just keep my distance like people have commented on before :_-(

Past events

but do I send a card & a present for their vow renewal wishing them
luck in their future. Or do I just keep my distance like people have
commented on before

One more time, keep out of it.

Ok ok this is my life here. And my two little Grand daughters. I just want to do what's for the best

someone else on here said go to your Daughter & speak to her etc etc etc

That was before we had the information that you have already spoken to your daughter and your relationship is poor.

You've meddled. You went to a counselor, badmouthed your family, and then urged your family to come with you to the counselor...And then you went to a *psychic* and did the same darn thing. Find a hobby.

I have NOT meddled

insee a grief counselor because I lost my Dad Mum & both my Grandmothers within a few years if eachother. The counselor as well as my friends & someone on this website said to ask my Daughter to come. She said no so I left it at that

my son in law has been unfaithful to my Daughter I'm so sad at seeing her crying all the time

i went with a friend who was going to see a physic/medium who recommend I see her!