Salon drama that upset and left me thinking
9 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (78)
- 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
Related Discussions
Easter Drama...
Comments (15)Justmetoo actually said it better than I could. I know & I have thought about how drama follows me & have wondered how that is. I LOVED the peace and quiet the entire week SD was gone... a boring life with no drama. I enjoyed the Easter party... even though I was surprised to see my son show up with DIL when he told me he was going out of town the day before. (Again, it felt like they are sneaking behind my back) I know it must be things I do that cause drama to follow me. If I had more time, I would figure it out... I may go back into counseling because I do agree with that. Just for the record.. no, I don't support them being together. I support them both having a relationship with their son ~ separately. They are horrible for each other and if they get together, I'm more likely to have DGS LONGER or forever. Their "marriage" happened because she broke up with him & he decided to "prove" his love for her by taking her in the middle of the night and marrying her. I got countless calls from him in the middle of the night to come get him, she threw him out at the beginning of the marriage. Then calls telling me not to come get him when I was in my car. Finally, after a couple of times, I told him he's married to her & work it out yourself when he called. She was hitting him. He did not want to leave. Within a couple of months, he told me she was pregnant and he had joined the Army. He came to see me one day after they had a fight. She called him repeatedly, telling him that she was going to abort DGS & he would do whatever she said. Just recently, he told me that she really wanted to abort their son but he insisted she continue the pregnancy. He says it was HER idea for him to join the military, not his. Then she used it against him and was angry that he "left" her. While she was pregnant, I took her to birthing classes... trying to be helpful & get along with her since she is going to be my DIL. The question came up, "what do you hope to get from the class?" and she answered, "get this out of me!" referring to the baby. She never rubbed her tummy & showed any excitement like most pregnant ladies and they moved into my house just before he was born because they were planning to move to Georgia. Her parents wanted nothing to do with it. He took her and DGS (just after he was born) to Georgia before he was deployed for 6 months. During that six months, there were several incidents of domestic violence, MP's arrested her & he was disciplined for her behavior. DGS was taken to the ER three times for "falling" when he wasn't even rolling over yet. They destroyed a moving truck when he moved her back just before his deployment (because the military kicked her off and banned her from the base). The truck's transmission was gone... I can only assume she grabbed the gear shift while he was driving. She used to have emotional outbursts over anything... and she has never been "loving" toward my son. They stayed with me for a week before he had to fly back to be deployed. We were going to look for housing for her. She beat him up (put nail marks across his face on one incident that he didn't report) but on Halloween, she got upset with him & started beating on him while he was driving. They had DGS in the car & witnesses called police. She was arrested. A few days later, she was out & they talked before he left. He insisted on her going to the airport so I agreed. After we dropped my son at the airport & returned to my house, where her car was... she told me to keep DGS so she can go look for a house on her own. I didn't see her for days. Weeks passed & I still had DGS so I found an apartment for her (because she said she couldn't take DGS until she had a place to take him) but even after she had the apartment, she left him with me. She had him a day or night here and there. On one of the night visits, she had brought home a guy & at some point during the night she left the apartment (either drunk or got drunk), rolled her car into a ditch and was arrested. She did not tell police she had a baby in her apartment with some guy she met. Fortunately, the guy called some of her friends to come stay with the baby so he could leave and I found out the next day that she was in jail & I went to get the baby. That's how I ended up with Guardianship. She has gotten better with DGS, the older he is but there is no real bond and she doesn't seem to mind the lack of bond. My son does. He wants a bond to exist but I believe it's his lack of maturity to think it's automatic... and doesn't seem to have a desire to put in any time toward it. But, DIL has so many problems... she has been in rehab so many times, she is bi polar, and she recently was diagnosed with an eating disorder.. which is why she had a meltdown over the cake pop. And the only thing I can say is that I made the cake pops because DGS asked me to and he loves them... and I didn't think it was fair for anyone to say no cake pop as they are being handed out to the rest of the kids. Would it kill him? no. Would he get over it? sure. But, the basket of candy he ate.. DIL unwrapped for him and sat with him as he ate didn't seem to bother her. It wasn't out of concern for his health... maybe a power struggle or an unrealistic fear because of her eating disorder and mental illness. Rational parents know a cake pop (not even two bites of cake) is going to cause a disease like diabetes. When she threw the fit, I did not respond to it... other parents seemed to ignore it & walk away. It wasn't given any energy and she ran to her car where my son followed to console her. The questions I posed were because I WANT to include them in events but I do not want to have her outbursts... jeez, one year she started crying hysterically when my son got a plate of food at Thanksgiving. She has mental issues & I get that, but I don't want to walk on eggshells when I plan an event. I got tired of SD causing drama with her grandma and the grief it cause me, so I don't have parties when SD is here anymore. No SD, no drama. With DIL, it's only events that are focused on DGS but those are events that also include kids he's in daycare with & their parents that I know. It's embarrassing. DIL may or may not have a meltdown at any given time over any given thing, which is why I backed off at the birthday party. I realize now that it was a mistake but it was also the first thing she's been to for him. I let lots go & roll off my back to keep the peace for DGS. DIL has given me lots of reasons to want nothing to do with her.. but I have let so much go. As JMT said, they are welcome to plan things for him but they barely spend time with him.. and yes, it bothers me to have my son live less than a mile from my work & not see his son more than a few hours a week. He came over last night & saw him for a couple of hours. Yet, he will drive three hours to see his wife.. and a little more insight into their "marriage". All the time he was gone in the military, there were guys in & out. One of her friends told me she was prostituting from the apartment. He had a girlfriend in Georgia that he dumped the day he moved back here. This "reconcilliation" came out of left field for me, when I envisioned my son coming back & being a dad to his son. DIL told me she wanted nothing to do with him and from the outside perspective, she appears to be torturing him... acts like they are reconcilling and then dumps him. She's done it several times in the last few weeks and he has been very emotional, depressed and suicidal. Then they get back & he's happy. IMO, she's playing games with him. She has emotional detachment problems (I think based on her childhood) and them being together is bad... not ever going to be good for DGS. (unless she deals with her mental issues and he grows up!)...See Moremy bf has a 13 year old daughter who is really upsetting me
Comments (21)Went through the same thing with my DH daugther. but she was 6 or 7ish at the time. Its understandable. She feels now she is competeing with you and is expressing it like a 13 year old. Dont let it bother you. Always keep open communication with her and your bf. Dotn think too far like having kids now. Keep dating and live together , take it one day at a time. More important. You and your Bf have to be on the same page and stick to your relationship. His daughter does not dictate your time or how you date your bf. You are the adult.You are in control with your BF. Let him speak to his daughter, let him keep at it with her. You keep your cool and at her age, the teen years she is also going through alot of emotions. Give her space and give her time. If she acts out during vacation let her father deal with it. Dont let it get you down. When she acts like a baby, then leave her with her dad to deal with and you get out and enjoy yourself. You make sure you show her that her behaviour is not nice and that it wont get your down. She wants to behalf nasty then she will have to deal with the consequences. My SD doesn have text messaging and i wouldn't accept it either between me and her. Just gives her power and i do not let her have any since now adays she is being rude. She's a teen:) Thats how they are. Deosnt matter if they are biokids or stepkids or adopted kids...its the age! But it doesn't mean you have to put up with it. Stand your ground and you keep telling her how you feel. BUT if she gets a rise out of you being hurt then you ignore her tactics and say its a wonderful day and your are soooo happy. :) There will be many games , and many ups and downs..i'm sure she does like you . She just needs to adjust and really understand that she doesn't have to be threatened by you. This is what it is. She feels that now that her dad has someone, he wont be as close with her even though the times of seeing her haven't changed. Over time you will prove yourself with your actions and words. Be friends but if she resists..don't force it. you can only be friends with her...not her mother. So if she doesn't want to be friends with you..its ok. I told my SD...if she doesn't want to be friends that's fine with me. I have alot of friends. But you be respectful towards antoher human being..if not..the door is there. Swing both ways..I dont care who you are related to....See MoreAnyone else upset or just me????
Comments (44)Twas the month before Christmas When all through our land, Not a Christian was praying Nor taking a stand. Why the Politically Correct Police had taken away, The reason for Christmas - no one could say. The children were told by their schools not to sing, About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things. It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say December 25th is just a " Holiday ". Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it! CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod Something was changing, something quite odd! Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda. As Targets were hanging their trees upside down At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found. At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears. Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty Are words that were used to intimidate me. Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton ! At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter. And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace. The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded The reason for the season, stopped before it started. So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree" Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me. Choose your words carefully, choose what you say Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday !...See MoreI'm so upset but no-one else thinks it's a big deal!
Comments (139)Oh my goodness! I haven't been on here for awhile as it's been very hectic. I have at this point moved on from the kitchen cabinets. Dwelling on it is pointless and just makes me angry. Besides I've had other things on my mind (some of you may have seen my post regarding our backsplash disaster). Also, we noticed later that we didn't have any sockets on the island despite my having specified I wanted a socket on either side of my large island. KD said she didn't have anything in her notes about sockets on the island. Really??? And what do her notes say about the code for electrical outlets on a kitchen island to pass inspection????!!! Of course, there was NO room for us to add them in. Her solution: cut two of the drawer backs to shorten them, buy new shorter soft close rails for the now shortened drawers and then add sockets behind them. I. don't. think. so. We were left to sort that out on her own. Couldn't be bothered to deal with her anymore after that. Anyhows. I thought I'd give a quick update. I re-ordered the white drawer fronts and decided to leave the blue island drawers as is. The new fronts just arrived today and have yet to be installed. I still don't have any hardware on the blue island. I want it to be different but haven't really had time to properly look. I'll get there eventually. I think it's a good compromise. The drawers don't bother me as much on the island and I'm pretty certain that after a few months I won't notice it at all. Or as much ;)...See More- 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
- 9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 9 years ago
Related Stories

FLOORSDrama’s Afoot With Striking Black Floors
Be bold. Be brave. Drench your floors in black for a memorable interior scene
Full Story
GARDENING GUIDESTop 12 Summer-Blooming Perennials for Deer-Resistant Drama
Can you have garden color, fragrance and exciting foliage with hungry deer afoot? These beauties say yes
Full Story
PETSSo You're Thinking About Getting a Dog
Prepare yourself for the realities of training, cost and the impact that lovable pooch might have on your house
Full Story
LANDSCAPE DESIGNFor Garden Drama, Consider the Lowly Boulder
A boulder can be a thing of beauty in the landscape. Here are 10 ways to display them to full effect
Full Story
LIGHTING15 Ways to Create Drama With Light Fixtures
Use lights as artful decorating elements, and watch them draw attention for more than their ability to illuminate
Full Story
LIFEStop the Toy Takeover by Changing the Way You Think
Make over your approach and get gift givers onboard with your decluttering efforts by providing meaningful toy alternatives
Full Story
FEATURESHow Tupperware’s Inventor Left a Legacy That’s Anything but Airtight
Earl S. Tupper — and his trailblazing marketing guru, Brownie Wise — forever changed food storage. His story is stranger than fiction
Full Story
KITCHEN COUNTERTOPSAdd Drama to Your Kitchen With a Waterfall Countertop
See how this look can work in contemporary and transitional spaces
Full Story
BATHROOM DESIGNA Rustic Setting and a Paint Mistake Create Drama in the Bathroom
Near-black walls, wood features and elegant surfaces personalize this lake house bathroom
Full Story
DECORATING GUIDESIf You’re Looking for a Little Design Inspiration, Think Big
Oversize lights, prints, kitchen islands and more show that larger-than-life decor is taking off
Full Story
colleenoz