More Confusion from Too Much-Too Little Water or Something Else Link
gle2011
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
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Lisa
6 years agoJack
6 years agoRelated Discussions
Too Much Water, Too Little Water or Something Else
Comments (35)thanks jack, I plan on aerating this fall and de-thatching to remove any dead brown material next spring. The lawn is very thick and weed free. Even though most of the dollar spot is in a full sun area; the large amount of rain we received this spring and some poor judgment on my part with over watering (never had an irrigation system before) provide a rich environment for the dollar spot. I am hoping changes to my lawn care system will alleviate the problem next spring. I am trying to understand the proper timing to water. i.e. when the grass appearance indicates it needs water, screw driver insertion test etc. I also plan on completing a soil betterment program this growing season that Morph had suggested based on a Logan Lab's Soil Test result. Along with supplementing the program with Milorganite in early September....See MoreToo much or too little water? Fiddle Leaf fig help!
Comments (1)Give the House Plant forum a look at your plant as it is a house plant. This forum is for edible figs so they a different. The folks over there should be able to help you. Good luck....See MoreFiddle Leaf Fig Help. Too much or too little water?
Comments (1)More people might be able to chime in with fiddle leaf fig specific advice, but some rules of thumb for watering are as follows: To know when the plant needs to be watered, use a chopstick or wooden dowel and insert it as far into the soil as you can. If it comes out wet and dirty, don't water yet. Water only when the dowel comes out clean and dry. Water the plant until about 15% of the water poured comes out of the drainage holes of the pot (good to do this in a kitchen sink), and let the plant sit for about 20 minutes so the water can finish dribbling out. When you water only a few cups at a time salts can built up in the soil. Most commercial soils are dense and water retentive, leading to plants suffering from. Consider looking into the 5-1-1 mix discussed on these forums or at least adding perlite to a commercial soil to help alleviate this....See MoreConfused about role as Stepmom. What is doing too much and too little?
Comments (6)There is a lot of confusion over what is SM’s role. Most people tend to think that SM’s role is to be whatever works for BM, bio-dad, SKs at the moment. For ex., BM doesn’t want you to be a mom, but if it is more convenient for BM to have you take her bio-daughter to appts., then “bingo!” you’re supposed to make mom-shoes fit for that hour or so. An added bonus for BM may be to not give you the information she knows you need to stick it to ya’, so to speak. Not saying that is specifically what went on here, but it could be. Step-daughter may not want you to be a mom, either, but if she needs someone to clean up after her wedding, for example, suddenly she is asking you to take on that responsibility as step-“mom.” Meanwhile, you may attend the wedding expecting to be seated with your husband, just like any other married couple, only to find that no arrangement whatsoever has been made for you and your role, and the expectation is that BM and bio-dad, instead, play joined-at-the-hip couple for the entire evening. . . no permission needed from either yourself (SM) or bio-dad. Doesn’t matter how many years you and bio-dad have been married. Meanwhile, your reward for all of those years of sucking it up and taking it, is for you to not be included in any “family” photos, and for you to have to find your own seat and clean up after the wedding ceremony. Nice. And, I’ve heard of this or similar or worse happen to SMs at weddings more often than anyone would ever care to think. But, the point I’m trying to make with these examples is to answer your question, “To what point do you feel like your maybe doing too much for your spouses' kid etc.?” It is when YOU feel like YOU are doing too much, it is too much. Anything anyone else does (including step-parents) for someone else’s children should be seen as a gift and not as an obligation. If a babysitter is taking care of someone else’s children and the parents are late, the babysitter gets extra pay. If grandpa and grandma are taking care of their grandchildren, as blood relatives, they get kudos and thanks and hugs and kisses. If SM takes care of someone else’s children, and in some shape or form so often she does, what is her reward? Crickets. Or, even worse. A SM’s #1 role is as a spouse/ partner to bio-dad. A SM’s role is not to fill in for lackadaisical or neglectful parents, and her role is certainly not to say, “How high?,” whenever someone in the initial family asks her to jump. As long as you are okay doing favors out of the goodness of your heart or for your husband, or because your husband truly appreciates it, and BM (at least on some level) appreciates it too, along with the SKs. . . then keep doing those favors. But, be careful there too, because it is extremely easy and almost a given that a SM will be taken for granted. Set boundaries early with everyone, and, for God’s sake, don’t do too much right off the bat! If you are dropping the kids off at school for example, before going to work, and your schedule changes and you can no longer do so, guess who is going to get their butt kicked? You are. You are going to be blamed for not finding another way to make your schedule work so you can keep dropping someone else’s kids off at school. Whatever favor you take on, both BM and bio-dad will feel you own. Your DH said, “He's trying to stay cool so he doesn't push her mom away.” What about you? He doesn’t want to be put in the middle of BM and his child? He doesn’t want to be put in the middle of this own divorce, but he expects you to? How nuts is that!? Yet, this is the expectation so many have for SMs it is unbelievable—they actually believe that dad should NOT be put in the middle of issues involving his own children, his own ex-, and so on. BUT, SM, on the other hand, should be put in the middle!? That is plain backwards crazy. Start to say NO, and mean NO. DH says he doesn’t want to make waves with his ex-, say, “Fine, that is on your shoulders. You and BM need to find a way to take your own daughter to these appointments.” And, don’t expect DH to agree or like it. He won’t. BM won’t like it either and step-daughter may not even like it. But, you are an adult and you own your own soul. Say No and mean No. I will add one caveat; however, it is a little trickier when you really are like “the mom,” as in this situation where BM is largely absent or where BM has even passed. Sometimes this makes interactions better and sometimes it can make them worse, as it can be very difficult to fill in for a missing mom. Missing moms are often idolized. In reality, you shouldn’t be competing with BM or SKs at all, but if your DH sets it up this way—where your role is more as family servant than dad’s wife, and you feel like your needs are continually being pushed to the back—then you start to feel like you are in competition for being dad’s #1 wife, along with his ex- and his children. Next thing you know, everyone is jockeying for dad’s “main squeeze” role, competing with each other, while dad just sits in his lounge chair and complains about poor-whittle-ol-me, being stuck in the middle. In reality, he’s the numbnuts who set it up that way to begin with. Don't let 'em do it....See Moredanielj_2009
6 years agoLisa
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6 years agoLisa
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6 years agolast modified: 6 years agogle2011
6 years agoJoe BigBlue
6 years agoLisa
6 years agoJoe BigBlue
6 years agoowlnsr
6 years agoLisa
6 years agoUser
6 years agogle2011
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoLisa
6 years agoLisa
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